"She just, she said..." I started to explain. How do I explain she accused me of raping you? I don't even know what you think, if you were offended or took it as a breach of personal space. Fuck! What if you also think of it that way!
"I said it was a joke!" Emi glowered, looking ridiculous as she stuck out her bottom lip with large angry eyes and tears drying slowly on her cheeks.
"I'm going to take Emi to the hospital, I think she may have chipped a tooth." Ino offered, gently helping Emi to her feet. The two-faced cheerleader clung to her arm, pretending she was afraid to go near me.
I hope she chipped a fucking tooth! She fucking deserves it! Even if... I don't know what Sakura is thinking.
"Fuck it!" I snapped, "you two take her to the hospital, I'll see you at home Sakura."
"Tay-" Sakura called, I flicked my wrist in a half wave.
"I won't apologize to that bitch."
-Ino-
"Tay..." I flinched, she sounds so heartbroken. Sakura took another step towards Tayuya's retreating back. This isn't right, you can tell just by looking at her; she's torn between following and staying here. Making it right with Tay, and making it right with Emi as well as possibly offending me. Damnit.
"Saku, we should get going." I offered, hoping beyond reason she would simply follow me. Emi clutched a little tighter to my arm, I don't know what she's being such a baby about. The Harpie didn't hit her that hard. If Tay had wanted to, she could have done a lot more damage.
"Right..." She trailed off, I frowned. She would rather follow, Emi made another upset noise at my side and I rolled my eyes. Maybe I should be a bit more sympathetic but seriously, she isn't that hurt. I don't think she even chipped a tooth, it was simply the only way to get her to calm down. Ironic as that sounds.
Maybe Emi was right, who better to give an honest opinion than an unbiased third party? Ever since she pointed it out, I can't help but notice... Sakura doesn't care for me the way I care for her. The way she cares for Tayuya.
Sakura has been following behind us, silently, since we left the school. What I would give to be able to read minds, ironically that's the super power Saku wanted when we were kids. I wanted super strength and speed, she always wanted the ability to read minds. At first, I thought it was because then she could scour our teachers mind for the test answers. But... it was because she was sick of being hopeful when people visited, she wanted to know if they were thinking about adoption or not. No beating around the bush.
She laughed when I asked if she would read my mind, saying she didn't need to. Saku always seemed to know what I was thinking...
I sighed, trying to drown out what Emi was chattering on about beside me. If her mouth hurts, how can she talk that much?
"Ino? Ino, did you hear me?"
"No, sorry what did you say?"
"I was asking if you think the new cheerleader uniforms are too revealing?"
"When did you get new uniforms?" I asked, not wanting to be rude while wanting to get back to my train of thought. The brunette giggled, rubbing her jaw as she squeaked in surprise. Guess there are a few spots that hurt.
Taking the opportunity I glanced over my shoulder at Saku, dragging her feet and seeming far off into another world. Maybe I shouldn't have asked her to come along.
She's been so incredibly stressed lately, one thing has become apparent to me. She will never be able to choose on her own, and I can't stand to see her like this any longer.
"Why does it seem like I'm here a lot?" Sakura muttered, staring at the walls of her mothers hospital room. This is the first time I've been here, Anko looks so much different than what I remember her. Lying in a hospital bed for as long as she has been, can't help that though.
Emi has been taken to get x-rays done on her jaw.
"Because you're a good daughter who visits every other day." I smirked, tilting my head slightly so I could catch her looking at me out of the corner of her eye "...and because you're accident prone."
"I am not! Why do both you and Tay think that?"
"Oh com'on Saku! Even when we were kids, if there was a way for you to get into trouble, or hurt; you would find it." Giggling, I sighed at happy memories. Sakura tensed, setting her jaw, deciding to challenge my claim.
"I thought we had just met? How could you possibly know I'm accident prone, or what I was like as a child!"
"Harhar, I suppose you're right. You are not accident prone, you just trip over tree stumps and walk into doors everyday because they move into the way."
"That happened once! ...and it did jump in the way. That wall wasn't there before." She muttered indigently.
"Okay, okay!" I laughed as she folded her arms across her chest. "I apologize, I moved the wall in front of you. You caught me!" She glared at me, I spat out my tongue and smiled back. I caught the smile I was hoping for, at least she's starting to cheer up.
"Do you know what Emi said to Tay?" (1) She asked, trying to change the subject. She seemed to fade out for a moment, looking over her adoptive mother slowly. I studied her eyes, becoming half-lidded and worried.
It's now or never, I doubt I will ever work up my nerve again. I know my Saku, she over thinks everything. She will never choose myself or Tayuya without being pushed so far into a corner it's the only way out. If that were to happen, there's a very good possibility it could get ugly. I don't want to lose her, not fully.
I've seen the way she looks at Tayuya, she doesn't realize it yet but she's fallen for that stupid red head.
I was stupid, and careless. Instead of being a normal person when I found her, I freaked out and didn't think things through enough. Deidara tried to tell me, and I should've listened. But, what's done is done; and I'd rather have her as a friend then not at all.
"I have no idea, as long as I've known her, she's never once said anything mean hearted, I'm sure whatever she said it was a joke." I replied finally. Never said anything mean hearted, at least not with the intention to hurt someone. Sure she can be a bitch but there's no reason to argue that point right now.
"I don't know, Tay isn't one to just blow up without a reason."
"She has a temper Saku..." I replied, leaving the rest unspoken. Take the bait Saku.
"She wouldn't do that." She growled, I sighed and leaned forward to rest my chin on my knuckles. I just need to make it through this without crying.
"We don't know what was said Saku." But you will defend her against all accusations, just as she'd defend you. This is the right thing to do, I've lost the competition already. Continuing to make a fuss over it will only hurt Saku.
"She. Wouldn't. Do. That."
"Fine, she wouldn't do that." My eyes rolled, trying my best to keep a semblance of the earlier playful air "why weren't you two talking for the last day of the trip then? Or the bus ride home?" Because Tay did something stupid, I'm guessing, and now you're both too embarrassed to talk about it. Again. I should be a couples counsellor.
"I was just busy, that's all." She replied a little too quickly.
"Horse shit," I watched her eye brows shoot up, oh no! Ino swore, totally ruining Saku's virgin ears! Because Tay doesn't swear every other word... "Don't look at me like that! Something happened, if you were just busy, Tay would've still followed you around." She's not a dog... close enough though I guess. She barks enough.
"She has other friends..." Saku replied vaguely, maybe she doesn't know Jirobo was away at a wrestling tournament. I've never seen Tay really talk to anyone else.
"Like who? And don't say that wrestler boy, we both know he wasn't on the trip because he was at a tournament." Sakura paused, oh brilliant she didn't know that. She planned the entire trip, but didn't know why ten seniors were missing?
"She has other friends."
"Quit being a wimp and just tell me, we're friends. We can talk about this." Even if I don't particularly want to, I will just have to get used to it. "Look, whatever it is. We can talk about it, even if you two... y'know." I blushed, making a vague gesture with my hands. Might as well aim high first, then she won't feel as bad to tell me whatever it is she doesn't want to say.
Her face lit up like a Christmas tree that only received the red bulbs.
"No... no! Tay wouldn't, I mean WE wouldn't..."
"But, something did happen, right?"
"I wouldn't know if I would call it a 'something'." You are really testing my patience Saku! Why is she such a prude, just get it over with already.
I sighed, leaning over so I could rest my head on her shoulder. Feeling a strong need for physical contact of any sort.
"It's alright Saku, it really is. I've come to realize something lately." Many, many things...
"What?"
"You're in love with Tayuya." I replied, taking a deep breathe as I felt Saku stiffen and look down at me. Always worried about hurting someone else, for once you need to think about your own happiness. Working to keep my face completely neutral, I continued.
"It's alright, you don't have to look so nervous. I'm not mad. I think, we are better off as friends, even if Tayuya wasn't around." I lied, trying to ignore the broken look on Saku's face. She doesn't understand, I need to make sure she does. So there are no questions.
"Ino..."
"Let me finish," I smiled, catching her eye only to bop her on the nose; more in an effort to keep myself from crying then her. "No crying! Or I'm going to start too!"
"Fine." She sniffled.
"I love you, Saku. You know that. But maybe, we are only meant to be the best of friends. We are still family, even if we don't end up as a couple.
"We," I flicked my finger between herself and I "do not work though. You are far to high maintenance for me." I chided, grabbing her hand from the armrest.
"Hey..."
"Mostly, I just want to see you happy Saku." More then you will ever know, "I don't have to sleep with you to do that, even if you do have an amazing ass." My cheeks burned, taking a small reward in her obviously flustered reaction.
"I don't know what to say. Is that why you wanted to start over?" I paused, running my thumb over the back of her hand.
"Partly, I really do regret how I reacted when I first found you again. I... if I could go back, I would do it differently; but I don't think it would change the outcome in the end. It might take longer to figure out, but the end would be the same.
"I've thought about this a lot, Saku. It's been nothing but awkward, strained and forced between us."
"I wouldn't say it's been all bad..." The thumb running circles around the back of her hand stopped. Always looking out for others, to the very end she is more worried about possibly hurting my feelings. Even if I'm the one to say it.
"So, what I'm trying to say... is that I'm throwing my hat into the ring. I'm leaving you for Tay to deal with."
"Wow, I don't know what to say..." Saku whispered, her eyes still stuck on the floor.
"Just promise me to be happy."
"Ino, did you hear me?" Emi asked, jabbing her finger into my ribs.
"Huh?" Shaking my head, I tried to snap out of my thoughts so I could pay attention.
"I asked if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight, my mom has been dying to meet you." Emi beamed, happily sporting the since stitching in her bottom lip.
"Yeah sure, that sounds fine." I smiled, trying to make it look as genuine as possible. We walked in silence for a few blocks, which should be noted. Because to walk in silence, Emi has to stop talking.
"Whats the matter Ino? You seem really down, I didn't do something, did I?" I sighed, pausing to run my fingers through my bangs. If Emi isn't even buying it, how will I ever convince Sakura enough that she won't worry?
"I took your advice." Looking up at the afternoon sun, I took a deep breath before breathing out to cleanse myself of all the negative emotions I was feeling.
"You did? So you gave Sakura an ultimatum? What did she say? What did you say?" Emi squealed, chocolate eyes dancing with excitement. "It's about time, she was never going to choose on her own. Awfully selfish if you ask me."
"Just the opposite actually." I replied, fishing my keys out of my bag.
"What do you mean? She was being greedy by refusing to let either of you go."
"No, Saku was more worried about hurting Tay or myself. She wasn't worried about her benefit."
"I don't understand," walking into my living room I shrugged off my bag and flopped onto the couch. It is so good to be home, surrounded by everything that is familiar. "Wasn't she hurting you both by stringing you along?" Emi sat down on the arm-rest, picking up the remote from the table she started to flip through channels mindlessly.
"She... doesn't want to lose either of us. Her entire life, Saku has been a planner; someone who thinks, and over thinks everything through a hundred times before she will attempt anything. I think she was worried, by choosing one she would lose the other; and hurt them so badly, they would disappear forever."
"Still seems selfish to me..." Emi muttered under her breath, setting down the remote as she form a day time soap opera. "So, what did you say?"
"I threw my hat into the ring, I told her I'm giving up and that I hope she's happy with Tay if that's what she wants."
"What? No way! Why would you do that? Oh I get it, reverse psychology. Make her see you as the sensitive type that only wants whats best for her happiness." Emi smirked, sliding down to sit on the couch as she dragged my legs onto her lap.
"That wasn't what I was aiming for." Lips down-turned into a frown, I tried to become comfortable in my cramped spot. "She never would have chosen, and in the end I might have lost her. So if anyone is selfish it's me. This was my decision in an attempt not to lose her, I've already lost to Tay. We both know that."
"I don't see why, she's a bitch."
"Emi..." Not that I disagree, but still.
"And you are way hotter that she is!" Emi waved her hand in a motion to fan herself.
"Stop!" I giggled, nudging her in the ribs with my toe.
"Not to mention you aren't nearly as high maintenance, plus a dancer? Dancer's stay hot until they are like, old. Like ancient, forty even."
"Stop!" I said a little more seriously, jabbing her a little more forcibly.
"Fine, fine." We both fell into silence as the main female actor admitted that her newly born son was actually her husbands, fathers child. Or brother, or something like that. Soap operas, you have to wonder how they are still on TV.
"You're okay, right?"
"I'll be fine." I'll have to be.
-Sakura-
"Tay, are you home?" Poking my nose inside the doorway, I could smell chicken cooking on the stove. If she's cooking from scratch, she's probably upset. Not that I needed a dead bird to tell me that.
"I'm in here, Pinkie." She replied from the living room, sitting on one of the worn beanie bag chairs. Steadying my hands, breathing and smoothing my nerves I shut the door behind myself. After my talk with Ino, I don't know what to do, to say.
She made it clear, that if I want to I can be with Tay; and have her blessing. But now what? I've never let myself go down that line of thought before, it would have been cancerous. Ino says I love Tay, but do I? Do I love her the way she said she loves me?
Do I want to be with her? I just don't know.
"You alright?" She asked, setting down her controller on her lap.
"Yeah, just peachy." Pushing off the door frame, I dragged my bag into my room. Ignoring the involuntary cringe as it scraped around the corner. I'm too exhausted to lift it off the ground right now.
With a huff, I tossed the bag into it's final resting place: the far corner of the room. When I have more energy, I'll go through it's contents. Until then, I'll leave the putrid mess to fester in it's dark spot of my room.
"Hey Sakura..." Jerking in surprise, I turned to see Tay leaning against the open passageway. "I uh, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for... y'know."
"Emi's fine, just a lot of crying over a split lip." Unconsciously, I rubbed my arm feeling awkward. Should I tell her what Ino said? She kinda has a right to know, it does concern her. But telling her that would only be cruel if I turned around and told her I didn't know if I liked her or not, right? Well, I like her; I just don't know if I like her, like her.
"Uh right, Emi... heh." Scratching the back of her head, Tay blushed trying to avoid looking anywhere near me.
"Why are you apologizing if it wasn't about Emi?"
"I already told you I wouldn't fucking apologize for that bitch." She snarled, seeming much more her usual self. I got up from my awkward, half crouched twisted spot to sit down on my bed. Insufflating, I slanted my gaze towards her with a half amused grin.
"I was never going to ask you to, or expected you to. Whatever she said, even if I think you probably could have gotten even in a non violent way; she probably deserved it. So, since I know you weren't apologizing for Emi; you already admitted to that. Either you broke something while I was gone, or this is about the other day."
"Uh, yeah kinda. I just shouldn't have... uh, fuck! You know what I mean." Flustered, Tay crossed her arms over her chest.
"You're blushing." I teased, reveling in the feeling of being the teaser and not the teasee.
"I am not!" She growled, indigent.
"Are tooooo." Singing out the last word, I could almost see the dust from the force of her teeth being ground into non existence.
"Whatever, fuck you, Pinkie!" Tay turned and stormed off, at her retreating back I yelled.
"You'd like that!" It's good to have you back, Tay.
-Ino-
Emi's house is a three story upper city side giant. Painted flawlessly white, with the storybook green shutters. Standing behind the cheerleader, I felt out of place as she stepped inside and called out.
"I'm home!" Ditching her bags in the door way, she rushed forward and was instantly swept up by, who I assume to be, her mother.
"Oh how I missed my sweet girl." She cooed, holding Emi at arms length before pulling her back in for another bear hug. The women looks almost exactly like Emi, the same long, soft brown hair. Chocolate eyes with full, cheery lips. She has a hint of freckles, with faint worry lines on her forehead and cheeks.
"And who's this you brought with you?" She asked, noticing me for the first time as I closed the door.
"Mom, this is Ino; Ino, Mom." Emi introduced, stepping aside as her mother smiled at me. I nodded, returning the smile.
"Pleased to meet you."
"You can call me Margret. It's so nice to finally meet you, Emi has told me so much! I wish you had told me you were bringing company tonight, sweetie. Your uncle is staying with us."
"Oh..." Emi blanched, turning to me.
"I can come back another time, if that would be better." I offered, hearing a creak from the stairway behind Emi. A tall, muscular man appeared. His head shaved, with a half exposed tattoo on his right bicep.
"There's no need to leave on my account, please stay. You're Ino right? Sakura and Tayuya's friend." The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as his words grated on my ears. His voice resounding from deep within his chest, resembling the growl of a grizzly bear.
"Uh, yes I am." How much has Emi told them? If he's visiting... how often does she see him? I chanced a glance at Emi, noticing her eyes glued to the hardwood floor. If this were a permanent thing, her mother wouldn't have pointed it out and it wouldn't have been a surprise.
"I really don't want to impose, it was very last minute. I can come back another day, it's really no problem." I offered again, fighting against the part of my body that was telling me something wasn't right.
"No, please stay. I insist." The large man replied, falling into a half bow as he motioned towards the living room.
-Sakura-
November went out with a flurry of activities. With the trip over, the Christmas dance preparations began. I started to spend more time with Ino, or rather she started to spend more time with me. Instead of having to hunt her down, she just always seems to be around. Not that I'm complaining, I like having her around. Especially since now we can just be friends, there's no more of the pressure that I've been feeling for months. Everything is easier now, back like when we were kids.
"You are coming over to help me with our English homework tonight right?" Ino asked, tossing a text book into her locker and ignoring my disapproving nose crinkle.
"How are you ever suppose to find anything if you just toss it into a pile in the bottom of your locker?" I asked, resisting the urge to beg her to let me clean it for the fifth time that day.
"By looking in the pile at the bottom of my locker, duh." Giggling, she closed the crooked metal door and linked her arm with mine; tugging me towards the cafeteria for lunch and where we would find Tay.
"So are you going to help me or not? I just don't get this Julius Ceaser stuff."
"Fine, I'll help. I thought you understood everything after our study session last night?" I asked, stepping into the bustling swarm of students.
"I thought I did too, but then I tried to read more by myself and it just didn't make any sense." Ino pouted, tugging on my arm as she spotted the red head we were seeking sitting in the far back corner, staring out the window. Dropping her voice to a whisper, she smirked. "So, have you told her yet?"
"Told who what?"
"Told Tay you love her." She replied matter-of-factly.
"No! Ino, I told you already. I don't know how I feel!" I growled, dropping my voice as Tay caught sight of us. Frowning, she looked back out the window; resting her chin on a propped knee.
"Good afternoon, Harpie! Eat anymore children today?"
"That's Hansel and Gretel, Barbie." She muttered, not even bothering to look up or say hello.
"Oh, well then did you do any harpie-like things today?" Ino jibed, awaiting the retort. It's just a game nowadays, one Ino enjoys greatly. One, Tay usually enjoys even more. Lately she's been acting strange.
"Are you feeling okay?" I asked when she stayed silent. Looking at me momentarily, she poked her food around the plastic plate in front of her.
"Peachy." She replied sullenly. It might be just a coincidence, I've picked up some of her habits... but I only use peachy when something is wrong but I don't want to talk about it.
"Alright then, uh... so what don't you get about Julius Ceaser, Ino?" Changing the subject, I made a mental note to ask Tay about it again later.
Lunch passed in an awkward silence, after Ino had finished telling me exactly what she didn't understand. You could practically feel the depressive waves rolling off Tayuya. She remained silent the entire time, leaving early for third period and her plate untouched. When I told her I wouldn't be home for dinner again, she paused as if to say something then just shrugged.
I really wish I knew what was going on with her lately. After the ski trip almost two weeks ago, she was fine. Great even, we were getting along the same as usual; Ino and I have been getting along fantastic.
That's mostly because I feel the weight from before gone, and Ino seems more then happy to push me towards Tayuya. The problem is, I don't know how I feel. Talking with Ino is helping me sort through my thoughts, and it's getting all of her homework done early as well.
I've thought about what she's said a lot, that I love Tayuya. If it's so obvious for her to see it, why can't I? Well, let's try to think this through in order. Okay, she snapped my pencil and I beat the shit out of her... not for breaking the pencil but moving on. It wasn't exactly a storybook start for a friendship, I'm not even sure how we became friends. It just suddenly fell into place, and neither of us rejected the idea.
After that, she started to be there all the time. She was there when Ino and I were... uh, in the throes of whatever it was Ino was thinking. But, that's over and done with so moving on.
She's always been there, whenever I needed her... without a word of complaint.
"Can you check this for me?" My bubble blonde friend asked, jabbing the end of her pen against her math homework. Taking the book from her, I skimmed the question.
"You're getting the hang of this, there's nothing wrong with it."
"Yeah well, I have a good teacher." She smirked, spitting out her tongue as she ventured off into her kitchen.
"Asuma is one of the better math teachers at our school."
"Which is obviously who I was talking about." Came the muffled reply, she must have gotten into the cookies. "So," She began, plunking down beside me with a glass of milk and a mouth-full of gooey goodness, "what was wrong with Tay again today?"
"I don't know, she's been acting weird. We've barely talked in like, three days."
"Maybe that's why she's upset then?" Ino suggested, taking a gulp from her glass and receiving a white moustache for her efforts. I motioned to her upper lip and she laughed, "I am professor plum!"
"And you shall kill me with a cookie, in the living room?"
"Muwhaha! You have discovered my plans, now you must die!" She cackled, taking another gulp of her milk.
"She seemed down before that though, I haven't really talked to her because it seems like she's either avoiding me or doesn't want to talk." I explained, snatching a cookie from Ino's lap and engulfing it before she could let out a whine of contempt.
"Well, then stop being a wimp and ask her what's up."
"I'm not being a wimp!"
"Yes, you are. You are worried it was something you did, right?" Yes.
"No." Ino rolled her eyes, reading my mind is cheating.
"Well, then just ask. What's the worse that can happen? She stops talking to you?"
"Harhar, very funny." I snatched my calc' textbook off the floor and started to flip through the pages. Absently reading the small captions under the equation explanations.
"Saku, you have to talk to her." Ino said in her 'I'm serious' voice, closing the book gently.
"I will, don't worry." At some point in time, it may not be tonight but I will at some point. After I figure out what the hell I'm feeling.
"You need to tell her how you feel." Ino pressed, trying to coax me into eye contact.
"I told you, I don't know how I feel!" I growled, annoyed that we were once again having this conversation. What's with all the pressure? Just because she threw her hat in the ring, doesn't mean I have to instantly run to Tay.
"Do you want to kiss her?" Yes.
"I don't know..."
"Do you find her attractive?" Yes... "Who did you turn to when you needed help? It wasn't me. Sakura, you don't see it because you won't let yourself see it. You're scared, so is she. Tayuya put herself out there, she bore her heart to you. You need to trust her, the only thing stopping you is gone."
"I just don't know, Ino."
"Why not?" She prodded, not letting me off easily. She plans to argue this out to the bitter end.
"I just, I don't alright? I don't, I don't want to lose her..." I don't want to lose either of you.
"Who says you will? But, that isn't a reason to hold back. If you do, you aren't being honest to yourself or to her; and there isn't much point to a friendship with only half your heart in it." (2)
"I l-l-lovvv..." I shook my head, taking a deep breath to try again. "I l-love y-y... u." Dammit, I'm staring at a bloody door and I still can't say it. "I l-" Clamping down my teeth in an attempt to stop the words from coming up, I took a step back in surprise as my apartment door swung open and a very annoyed Tay stood in the doorway.
"Forget your keys again?" She yawned, dropping the heavy door stretching so her thin tank top rod up to show off her lower stomach. Blushing, I turned my attention to the spotless kitchen. It's been that way since I'd gained a roommate, I didn't think Tay would be a neat freak. Between the two of us, there's never anything left out.
"No, I was just muttering to myself. Were you asleep?" Noticing her dishevelled hair for the first time.
"Was trying to." She replied curtly, tugging at the waist band on her pyjama pants and leaning against the counter to watch as I sorted through the fridge for a snack.
"Isn't it kind of early?"
"It's ten thirty, and a certain little fuck tripped over me at five am so she could go swimming." Yawning, she stretched audibly, scratching at a smudge on the counter top. I already apologized for that twice.
"You could've gone back to sleep." I replied instead, choosing a fruit bottom yogurt cup off the bottom shelf. Tay muttered a response too quietly for me to hear, "Sorry, I missed that. What did you say?"
"I said I can't sleep without you there anymore." She mumbled again, I had to strain to hear it and even then it was barely audible. Blushing, I fumbled with the lid on my yogurt and fought with my twisted tongue to reply.
"Oh..."
"Yeah I know, it's fucking hilarious." She snapped, glaring at me.
"No, I don't think it's funny. I'm just surprised, that's all." I thought I was the only one who felt lonely when she wasn't around. There's only been two nights since the third week of school that she hasn't been here. Actually come to think of it, it has been a long time. I've grown so accustomed to her being there at night, even when she leaves to go to the washroom I notice. It's like I need her there, or I don't feel whole.
"Yeah, I bet." She retorted, pushing off the counter to slink into our room. Making a quick decision, I shoveled the yogurt into my gullet and dropped it in the trash can.
"Tay, what's wrong?" I asked, chickening out on the second subject. Laying with her back to me, I heard her take in a sharp breath.
"I found out what the second key's for." The second key...? Oh, the one that came with the letter from her mother. "It's a house key, Gaara said it's our mother's way of saying I can come home without actually having to say it."
"That's a good thing right?" Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I debated giving her a hug... I would like to comfort her. She's obviously in distress, but it just seems like a weird thing to do randomly. I've never done it before, we aren't exactly huggy friends.
"I guess, it means you can have your apartment back. It won't be so crowded anymore." Just lonely... I don't want her to leave, but is that selfish? Maybe she wants to go back home. I know her and her mom don't get along perfectly, but they must still love each other.
But I don't want her to leave, because I need her here.
Slipping under the sheets behind her, I ignored the nerves that were setting off alarms in my head; in a single, fluid motion I wrapped my arm over her waist and nuzzled my head into her neck. In an action that was meant to comfort me as much as her; I held her body firmly against mine, hearing a gasp of surprise but otherwise, Tay made no movement to push me away.
"Please don't leave me. I need you, I want you to stay. As selfish as that is, and even though I know I shouldn't be asking you when the decision should be yours. I want you to stay... please." I didn't notice I was shaking until I felt her hand slide over mine and hold it steady, linking our fingers; gently weaving them together so I could feel her strength and acceptance, but also a slight hesitation.
"You won't lose me, and you'd still have Ino."
"Why are you pushing me away? What did I do?" I demanded, embarrassed as tears dripped down onto her neck. Maybe it's already too late, I've taken so long... and hurt them both so much. My fingers tightened reflexively; winding themselves into the fabric of her shirt. So much for talking, I turned into a sobbing baby as soon as the flood gates opened.
"You didn't do anything Sakura..." She lied, I can hear it in the way she's talking. The slight hesitation, the extra effort to be polite. "I just, don't want to get hurt and with all the time you've been spending with Ino..." She thinks... "I think it would be easier for both of us if I left."
"Easier for who?" I snapped, ripping my hand away so she fell onto her back and I could look her in the eye. Planting my hand beside her neck, I felt my body tremble; from fear? Worry? Doubt?
Why am I debating this anymore, if it hurts this much to even hear she might leave. What does that mean? "You love Tay." Ino's words filled my ears, she's right.
Tears marring my vision, I tried futilely to wipe them away before they splashed down onto her cheeks. "It certainly wouldn't be fucking easier for me! Didn't you hear me? I need you, I l-l..." Cursing my tongues inability to spit out a four letter word, I changed tactics. "Ino and I are just friends, that is all we will ever be. I-" Shaking my head, I tried to rid myself of the tears that refused to stop.
My free hand caressed her neck, my audience looking just as bewildered and frightened as I felt. "The reason we have been spending so much time together is because that is what we've decided to be. Just friends, and she's... she's helping me with something." Confused, Tay formed her next sentence slowly, pronouncing each syllable individually.
"She's helping you with something...?"
"She's helping me to tell you that I love you." I spat out in a jumble of words, stopping as I realized that this time; my mental block had not stopped my tongue from working. Eyes growing wide, I watched as Tay registered what I had said.
"Can you say that once more?" She asked, I could feel the heat from her body and her breath on my skin. Mesmerized, I didn't register our chests brushing against each other except for a soft whimper. Tilting her head, I felt her fingers slide through my hair on the base of my neck, gently pulling me closer.
"Please..." Tay whispered, only a hair of space left between us; I felt her lips brush mine as the words were spoken.
"I love you." Letting the trembling arm that was bracing me up finally go, I pressed my body against hers as she covered the final stretch between our lips. Her touch was gentle, fingers danced along the exposed skin at my hip before moving up to graze my cheek. We parted momentarily, before she kissed me again, forcibly; finally breaking away to bite my chin as she panted her reply.
"I love you too, stupid little fuck."
1 – Anyone notice that I have a lot of three letter names / nicknames? I just did, I was like OH SNAPZ I HAS A LOT OF THREE LETTER NAMES. Well, you get the idea.
2 – Oh, sweet sweet irony. How I love thee.
First of all, no – I am not dead. This past what has it been? Month? (Cringes at the expected BOOOOOOOO's) Yeah, I know I suck haha. Anywho, this month has been crazzzzyyyy! Anyone else have to work fourteen days straight? I didn't think so!
So this chapter is shorter, and I'm sill not sure how I feel about it. But, it's something that was building for a while. Oh! New cookie contest, who can tell me what Emi's angle is? If you do, you shall receive the reward of a cookie. Same rules and regulations as before, you post in your comment I tell you yes or no :) See, simple! Anyone can play.
On a side note, my new fic is posted! Well, I hope it's up since I posted it this morning haha. It's called Tropical Paradise, I hope ya'll will take a gander and tell me what you think. I'm really excited for this one.
No, don't worry I will be finishing this. I've logged too many hours to simply drop it. Since we are on the topic of other fics though, anyone still waiting on Pink Crush? Well, good news. I looked it over and decided I can't keep the style going I was using before. What do you mean that's bad news? You didn't let me finish! * dodges a tomato * I SAW THAT! It's good news because it means I will be going through every chapter and reworking / tweaking them, and if the two k mark I have with my new fic works out, I will start to update it regularity again as well.
Well, that's all I have to say for now, so enjoy and go check out Tropical Paradise(yay self advertising)!
-Kiravu