Chapter 9! Even during my internal anarchy I got out a chapter. (:

Tily: I'm proud of you actually, you've been having a rough time.

Kit: That's life. Anyway I kind of apologise for the sort of filler... but it is relevant! And I enjoyed writing it regardless. (:

Zexion: ...Do I want to know how or why I'm here?

Kit: Just stand there and look pretty Zexy. C:

Tily: ...We won't be getting a response from her for a while. Square owns the chatacters and Kit owns the story. Enjoy the chapter!

He dragged his feet, drained, depressed and sleepy. Nothing was going right, nothing at all, and it hadn't been going right for three weeks.

Not since…

"Morning kiddo," Cloud greeted somewhat awkwardly, worried about his brother because Roxas had been acting more down than ever in the past few weeks and the older blond had no idea why.

But, Roxas knew. He knew why his studying wasn't sticking in his mind, knew why he was barely eating and why he confined himself to his room. It was because of Axel. Once the redhead had told Roxas he loved him, the blond hadn't seen or heard from him. Riku had explained that Axel had returned to the apartment looking like a dead man walking and hadn't spoken a word since. Nor had he left his room, with the exception of getting something to eat.

Roxas just didn't get it, any of it. Axel still loved him, yet, he'd stopped trying to see him. Even though this should all be finished with and Axel should be happy he can stay with Xion now, without having to worry about the blond, he was depressed instead. All of this swirled around in Roxas' head, and as much as he talked to Riku, Sora, (and even Demyx about it!) it still made no sense.

"Morning," Roxas finally acknowledged his brother. That was another thing increasing the blonde's depression. He felt bad for not telling Cloud anything, and he could tell the boy was worried for him, but Roxas just couldn't bare telling his older brother about everything that was going on in his life, he had enough to deal with without Roxas' problems.

"Any plans for today?" Cloud responded as he tried to continue the conversation and Roxas nodded sadly. Unfortunately yes, he did have plans. Graduation was in four days and the group of seniors had decided to buy presents for one another. They decided to pick a name out of Demyx's lunch box to make it random, so they each only had to buy one present to save money.

"I've got to go shopping for a graduation present for Sora," he answered.

"Is everyone going with you?" Roxas shook his head, he didn't want to be around anyone today; there would be enough people at the mall, and that was more than enough. "Well, as strange as this sounds, Zack wants to talk to you," the younger blond gave Cloud a curious look. Why would Zack want to talk to him? "So, is it ok if he goes with you? I'm not sure what he wants to talk about, though." He sighed, because as much as he had tried to convince the raven to tell him, Zack wouldn't budge and the fact that the male had a secret, and was flaunting it in Cloud's face. The fact he didn't know was driving the elder blond crazy.

"Sure," Roxas agreed, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Ok, I'll call him," Cloud grinned, taking out his phone and walking away.

********

Roxas took his time getting dressed and cleaned up, plastering on a less depressed face and, even though he grimaced as he looked at himself in the mirror, (his obviously fake happiness sickening him) he kept the façade up and made his way downstairs.

He found Zack and Cloud sitting in the living room and stood at the door, gaining the couple's attention. "You ready?" The raven asked with a smile and, as reluctant as he was, Roxas nodded -thinking maybe Zack's perky nature wasn't something he should have agreed to walking around the mall with today.

"See you later," Zack said to Cloud as he turned to his boyfriend and kissed him chastely on the lips. Roxas couldn't help look away as he felt his heart plummet and lodge itself in his stomach, causing his chest to twinge with pain. He didn't feel like this because it was Cloud, -he would always be happy for his brother- it was only the realisation that he couldn't have the love those two shared, not like he used to. The way it used to be with Axel.

"Come on then shorty," Zack continued to grin as he approached the younger blond and Roxas waved a small goodbye to Cloud before they left the house.

Zack had insisted they take his car since it was still 'new and shiny,' and with that brand of logic, would not take no for an answer, so Roxas spent the drive staring out of the passenger window blankly. He just wanted today -like every other day- to be over already. "So, what are you looking for?" Zack questioned once they both climbed out of the car at their destination, and Roxas shrugged.

"It's for Sora so I'm not totally sure yet," he admitted receiving an understanding nod from the raven.

********

"So what's your deal?" Roxas asked as he picked up another trinket to examine and to finally deem it unfitting for Sora.

Zack looked at the blond with fake obliviousness and Roxas rolled his eyes. "Cloud told me you wanted to talk to me about something, so what is it?" He asked again and the raven 'oh'd'.

"I just wanted to see how things were going. I haven't spoken to you much since you came home," Zack shrugged, feigning interest in a small money box in the shape of a tall, yellow bird. "And you know… Reno told me about Axel."

Roxas' heart dropped again, this time melting in his stomach acid as he thought about Axel. He'd tried over the past week not to bring up the subject of the redhead, and his friends had silently obliged to keep that subject locked away… But, Zack wasn't really the same, he hadn't seen Roxas to realise how much of a fragile subject this really was.

"O-oh," the blond stuttered, feeling his voice crack slightly, he hadn't realised he'd been fiddling with the thin, imitation silver chain necklace he was holding until it snapped and Roxas stared at the trinket, ignoring the chain to stare at the dangling object itself. It was irrational for the blond to think anything of it, but he couldn't help himself. It was a heart, hollow in the middle but made out of the same cheap silver. Half of it was studded with blue, plastic crystals, the other half green, and the intensity of the colour only brought Axel's eyes to mind.

"You break it, you buy it kid," the plump shop keeper frowned at Roxas as the chain fell to the floor and the blond hurried to pick it up.

"S-sorry," Roxas apologised, passing the man the money before scurrying out of the shop with Zack on his heels.

"You ok Rox?" The raven asked once the younger male stopped and let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Roxas nodded silently, not trusting his voice enough to answer. "I'm sorry for bringing it up," he apologised, "but Roxas, Cloud's worried about you, and I only want to help. You're like a little brother to me too you know."

Roxas looked up and gave Zack's encouraging look a small, wavering smile. He really was grateful to him for this, but the blond didn't really know what to say. "Thanks Zack," he finally said to the raven who placed his hands in his pockets.

"How about we grab something to drink? You can tell me about it." Roxas couldn't say no to the heartened look Zack gave him. Maybe the raven really could help, he was sure to have had more experiences with love than Roxas had and could supply some sort of sanctuary for the blond, so he nodded and let the smiling raven guide him away.

They both took seats at a table beside a smoothie bar and set down their drinks as Roxas proceeded to fiddle with his straw, feeling somewhat sick with nerves. He'd never really talked about everything that had happened since he'd returned, and the thought that he was going to actually pour his heart out… to Zack… in a crowded mall... well, it was slightly unnerving for the blond.

Roxas wasn't surprised at Zack's bluntness when the raven came straight out and said 'what happened?' but he wasn't totally prepared for it either. 'Where to start?' The blond thought to himself with a sad sigh. "Before we do this I want you to promise me something," Roxas started and Zack gave a quizzical look but said nothing, waiting for the blond to continue. "Don't tell Cloud."

Zack's blue eyes turned uncertain and the raven sighed, "but Roxas he's worried about you too," the blond shook his head against the reasoning.

"I know that, but he doesn't need my problems, he already has work to stress over, and he told me about Leon and Tifa's break-up." Zack stared at Roxas' pleading look before finally giving up with an dejected nod. "Thanks Zack. I'll tell him, but I don't want to do it yet."

"As long as you do tell him, it's all good with me Shorty."

Roxas nodded his gratitude and took a deep breath. There was no escape now, from Zack or himself. He'd been trying so hard to push each event to the back of his mind and get on with his life, and though it had proved somewhat unsuccessful, Roxas had managed to scrape by without thinking too hard about this whole scenario. But now Zack wanted to know about it, and to tell the story, the blond would have to open up those poorly tended to wounds he'd tried so hard to ignore, hoping that without caring for them that they might just disappear on their own. That, evidently, was not the case.

Roxas started from the beginning, he told Zack about Xigbar's announcement that Axel had been around with a 'poppet' and how Roxas had taken to it, then about their eventual meeting and finally the balcony incident from three weeks ago.

Each part of the story ripped Roxas apart inside little by little and he fought long and hard against his rising emotions. He hadn't actually realised just how bad everything was until he placed every event down and recalled them all, and the only thing he could think was the same thing that had run through his mind since everything started. 'This is all wrong'.

Zack sat back and listened wordlessly until the blond finally stopped. They both sat in silence for a moment, the raven processing everything and Roxas letting himself wallow in his own misery. "I noticed something," Zack finally spoke up, taking a sip from his raspberry smoothie before sitting more comfortably and staring at Roxas who turned to look at the other male. "We don't even know who Xion is."

Roxas' expression twisted. Didn't know who she was? She was the girl who had taken Axel's heart, that was clear enough. "Don't look at me like that Roxas, because I'm right. No one has explained who she is, no one has even said 'Xion is Axel's girlfriend.' "

This true fact hit Roxas head on and it continued to beat him upside the head. Zack was, in fact, right. No one had said anything about Axel and Xion's relationship, the blond had always just presumed that they were together. But, surely they had to be, that could be the only reason for Axel's new-found happiness… right?

"But… they were laughing together," was Roxas' poor defence and the raven shook his head in disappointment.

"Roxas, stop trying to find excuses for your blindness," Zack chuckled and the blond sent him a deathly glare that went unacknowledged. "Just let him explain, it's something you haven't done so far, and Axel at least deserves that much." Roxas' unsure expression only made Zack give a single, tired laugh. "You have to face him. Sooner or later, and later is never a good thing."

"But I... I don't know what to say," the blond admitted with a frustrated clip in his voice and Zack shrugged.

"You'll know when the time comes, and you might not have to say anything at all as long as you listen to him." Roxas took in Zack's genuine smile and nodded. Maybe he was right.

"Speaking of later, we should get going. I think that bird will be perfect for Sora," the raven grinned and Roxas couldn't help but send him a small but genuine smile and a nod of agreement.

They both made their way back to the shop, the plump cashier giving Roxas a distrustful look as he watched the blond walk over to the ornament, taking it to the checkout counter to pay for. He left the shop, relieved that he hadn't managed to break anything else, and walked back to the car with Zack.

"Thanks, Zack," Roxas finally said to the male as they passed the beach on the drive home and the raven turned briefly to ruffle the blonde's hair.

"Don't worry about it Shorty, anything to get a smile on that little face of yours," he laughed loudly and Roxas pouted, but couldn't help his smile.

He'd do this. As soon as Graduation was over, he'd see Axel.

********

"By the way, I almost forgot about these," Zack perked up as the pair got out of the car and walked up the porch and he patted himself down before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out two brightly coloured tickets which he handed to the puzzled blond. "They're the carnival tickets I owed you from last year, I never did give them to you."

Roxas smiled gratefully at Zack again. "And even after I got you a date with my brother," the blond smirked light heartedly and the raven nudged him.

"I think that in itself is worth more than those tickets, but it'll do for now," Zack gave his own smirk and laughed as they made their way into the house.

A/N: I realise I don't actually give enough credit to my awesome Beta who corrects all of my silly mistakes and makes my chapters look all nice and sparkly. (: So thank you Kitty! You're far too awesome.

Tily: Wow... I never thought I'd read Zack giving advice... I like it. (:

Kit: Oh good. I want the chocobo money box he picked up!

Zexion: Can I go home yet?

Kit: *sigh* You're so boring Zexion! Demyx was more fun than you!

Zexion: ... Demyx was here?

Tily: Anyway, review for Kit so she gets out of her rut and writes until the end. ^^

Thanks for reading! =^^=