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When they saw Alex's face whitening, the doctor and ambulance driver quickly reached steadying hands to grasp her arms and carefully sat her down in a nearby chair. The doctor immediately returned to Goren, while the driver made sure Alex was not going to faint. He kindly went to get her a drink of water and handed her a paper cup. The contents felt warm in her icy hands. She was too distracted to feel any embarrassment she would normally have felt.

It didn't take long before the heart monitor was showing Goren's rapid heartbeat and the subclavian IV was inserted. Blood was drawn and sent to the lab. They were noting his high temperature with concern. 105º F. His body couldn't cool itself due to the dehydration. Heat stroke and dehydration were a deadly combination when left unattended and they were not sure how long he'd been in this condition.

The doctor walked over to the still-seated Alex and sat down opposite her, speaking quietly. "We're extremely concerned about your partner. We're waiting for the blood results before we treat him further, but he appears to be severely dehydrated, with heat stroke as well as bruising and cuts. It looks like he was restrained; do you know anything about that?" Alex shook her head. "No? We're concerned about his kidneys and the possibility of seizures or heart failure. Is there any family history of diabetes or heart conditions?"

"No", breathed Alex, Those were two things she knew the Gorens had escaped, but her own chest was tightening as the doctor spoke.

"We're worried about acute renal failure, so we'll insert a catheter to monitor his fluid output and cool him off while we wait for the results of the blood tests. He may need dialysis, but we'll see how he reacts to being rehydrated first. We need you to sign some permission forms over at admissions. We'll be calling the infirmary at Tates for more information and request his medical information from…… which police department is he with?"

"NYPD Major Case", replied Alex and the doctor's eyebrows rose. This policeman was a long way from home.

"He'll be fine for the few minutes you're gone".

"Thank you, Doctor, I'll be right back", she said in the most matter-of-fact voice she could find.

Alex rose carefully from the chair, relieved her display of weakness hadn't been observed by anyone she knew; family or colleagues. She wasn't going to be much use here if she didn't keep it together. The doctor made sure Alex was steady and went back to Goren.

Alex remembered with a jolt that Captain Ross was somewhere in the hospital. She retraced her steps down the busy entrance hallway at a much more careful pace this time and found him at the admissions desk.

"How is he?" Ross asked brusquely, not making eye contact with Alex.

"Not good." she replied, also not meeting his eyes. She did her best to disguise the distress in her voice.

"I've signed the necessary paperwork for the moment. You're his medical proxy, aren't you? Good. That paperwork will have to be faxed up. I'm taking the Suburban back to the city. When you're ready, rent a car and come back." He didn't say with or without Goren, but it hung in the air between them. "You have a department credit card?"

"Yes."

"Is there anyone we should be calling?" Ross' voice was tinged with irony.

"No. I'll take care of it, Captain." said Alex quietly.

"Do you have anything in the car? No? Keep me informed. And try to get some rest." Ross turned and left without asking to see Goren.

Alex watched him stride out of the building and she slowly turned back towards Emergency. It would be easier without him around, but….

She was alone. And it was happening again. Her shoulders sagged. She'd done this before and couldn't believe it was happening yet again. All the frustrations she'd felt when Joe was dying, her inability to change things, were flooding back. Part of her wanted to leave; walk out the door with Ross and not deal with the uncertainty, not deal with the hospital vigil, not deal with any gut-wrenching anguish. The smells, the lighting, the sounds of the hospital all reminded her of the loss of Joe.

She mentally shook herself. She seldom thought much about it now. It was a long time ago. And yet it had come to the surface much too recently to dismiss. True to form, if you presented a puzzle to Robert Goren, he couldn't help but solve it. With fresh eyes and his usual knack, he had found the real villain in Joe's murder. Unfortunately in solving the puzzle, he had re-opened the whole investigation, and at the same time re-opened wounds she was sure she'd healed. Her mask of anger had served her well that week, but when it had slipped, she hoped only Bobby had seen behind. And even that was one too many viewers.

She swallowed and tightened her lips. But this wasn't Joe. She tried to reassure herself that this was different. It was Bobby. Bobby was alive and breathing and she'd do everything possible to get him back.

And she wouldn't leave. She couldn't leave.

She strode back down the hallway towards Emergency.