Talwyn

Chapter 4-The siege of Metropolis

Where are they?

I stood on top of my building on the "wrong side" of metropolis, whatever that means, terrified that Ratchet and Clank wouldn't notice they were heading for the wrong planet. You see, I actually have studied this type of tactic before. It's called a False Lead. Obviously, these invaders, whoever they were, wanted resources on metropolis, not in sector 69.

Looking around, I see nothing. I check my radar watch. Something's closing in from the southeast. Sure enough, a star cruiser the size of Qwark's butt rash is crashing through the skyscrapers like nobody's business. RYNO V to the rescue, I guess? No. Damn thing didn't get any ammo put in. So, I guess I have to default to my blaster again.

I key my radio, "Qwark, this is Talwyn. I have massive craft closing in on downtown at top speed. Doesn't look like they're stopping for anything. Should I engage?"

Qwark was probably on the toilet, "Um…good! Seriously, someone needs to get on the turret in X sector! Take Skidd with you! He's the only one whose ever fired that thing before."

"Why did Skidd fire an anti-cruiser shell?"

"I don't know? Just, look. I'm at the Galaxy burger women's restroom right below the turret, I'll provide help once I…VOID! My problems, okay! We seriously need someone over there right now!"

Skidd was crawling around on the roof shouting, "Man down!"

"Let's seriously just get this over with."

"Yes, ma'm."

Beneath the sun and clouds of Kerwan, buildings were collapsing all around us. Fortunately, everybody had already evacuated to the mountains. Take's a woman's initiative to save a planet, eh? Skidd had a hacker and an ancient crotchitizer. He says he got it from Qwark. I really don't want to know.

From where we were, it was about 5 blocks to the turret. Without the city ending before us, it took about four hours to get there. Now, it was going to take much, much longer. I looked up to the sky. Please, let Ratchet and Clank get back here safely. I was worried about them. They should've noticed the problems with sector 69 by now. I wanted my boyfriend back here. Sure, on the outside, while Skidd was hacking doors and bridges, I kept my tough exterior, but in reality, I just wanted someone to hold me. Not Skidd. He's strange. I wanted Ratchet back.

As we traversed the city, we didn't get much contact with opposition. That is, until we had to walk up the stairs to the top floor of the turret tower. We got to the doorway leading to the corridor to the turret. Weird alien soldiers filled the room. They had blasters, except they had no front grips. They were black metal, with as few parts as possible. The creatures themselves were slightly taller than me, but they had no tails. On their hands, five trembling fingers and weirder still, they had no tails. I pulled out the RYNO. Skidd stood on the other side with the Crotchitizer. I shouldered the RYNO. Hopefully they would fall for the trick.

I shouted, "Lower your weapons!"

They all just looked at each other. I put down my small blaster. They put down their strange weapons. One of them spoke, "Do you, uh…speak English?"

"English? This is how everybody talks 'round here."

"Then you're talking our language. Travis. Gutierrez. 0420810. That's all I'm saying."

I thought for a second. "Skidd, take them to the science facility at the Ranger depot. Don't treat them badly. But keep your eyes on them."

"Will do, Ma'm. C'mon dudes, let's get out of here."

Travis and his squad reluctantly left. I climbed the ladder into the turret.

I checked my radar watch. Ratchet's ship would only be a couple hours away now. Blowing the invading ships out of the sky was no problem. As I climbed out the ladder, Qwark stumbled up to me, toilet paper hanging from his butt.

"Talwyn, we have a problem." He panted.

"What? I blew all their ships out of the sky! They have no army! They're no longer a problem!"

"Yes they are." Qwark blathered.

"No they're not."

"Yes, they are."

I rolled my eyes, "Prove it!"

Just then, all the lights went out.

"EMP. Electromagnetic pulse. It wipes out all electronic devices and equipment. You see, the technology required to produce that produces a massive radar signature, which is why I sent out all the robots and drones out. I'm not a big oaf like FORMER president Phyronix makes me out to be! Now, answer me this; how come red crayons don't taste like cherry?"

"I don't know!"

I ran up to the docking station on top of the building. Hopefully Ratchet would get a signal. Unfortunately, the only signal I could give him was off my watch, which was now destroyed. I had to think of something. What's something a Lombax can't resist?

Ratchet

I looked down toward metropolis in the spaceship. Transports fanned out, heading back to their respective bases. I saw a burning picture of a VG-69000. I immediately headed towards it, expecting to see somebody doing horrible things to the console. Burning it, smashing it, playing the new modern warfare on it; the paranoia intoxicated my judgment. Sure enough, it's Tal. Thankfully, she knows how to get my attention.

By taking her shirt off and waving it in the air?

Well, desperate times come for desperate measures.

Right?

Anyway, she soon debriefed us on what happened. It didn't take long for the point to settle in. Metropolis was under siege.