16
Esme walked over to us with her no nonsense style and I felt myself take a step behind Edward as I held tightly to his hand. She didn't acknowledge me and spoke only to her son. "I need to get back to Seattle earlier than planned, let's go."
I felt tears fill my eyes and I wanted to protest. She was the one who told me I had until Monday morning, what if I hadn't fixed Edward yet? We hadn't used any of the condoms; I couldn't make love to him once and walked away forever. She wasn't being fair and I hated her.
"Can I bring him to Seattle tomorrow morning?" I asked quietly and her jaw tensed making her look so much like her son.
"Edward, now," she said as if he was a small child.
"Give me an hour," he said and pulled me down the hallway.
I was huffing in protest at the thought of doing it as his mother waited outside the door keeping time. He pulled me into the room and let go completely as he paced back and forth. I watched him mumble to himself and finally turn to look at me.
"So the woman needs to lead and I need to act less knowledgeable. I need to have a way…" he began pacing again and I stared at him in shock. I thought he wanted me one last time, but he wanted to work through my theory.
"Why do you have to do it, because it was your partner?" I asked never expecting an answer.
He looked at me for a few moments and finally whispered, "It's my family, Bella."
I glanced over at the door and nodded. "You better go, the chef is waiting," I said with a broken heart.
He threw his stuff in his bag and took only the eight ball, leaving everything else from our time together. We both stared at the bag from the drugstore, unwilling to claim the condoms for possible future use. I looked at him as he stood with his bag in his hand ready to leave.
"What do you need to hear from me?" he asked with a pained voice.
"No lies," I said as I cried.
He walked toward the door and stopped to kiss my forehead. I grabbed his shirt with my fists and held on tightly. It had only been two hours since he made love to me, it wasn't fair. He finally had to pull my hands off of him and walked out the door. He was gone, and I had given him the plan to bring forth a killer.
I didn't even make it to the bed; I collapsed onto my knees and cried.
I got home and found my complimentary tickets waiting for me. My romantic trip with Edward would never happen, but getting far from Washington sounded great to me, so I called Jessica. A free trip to Hawaii would make sure only good gossip spread about me for at least a month.
We decided to go in November and it gave me several weeks to get healthy for a trip. I began asking my mom about various vitamins and minerals and exactly what benefits they gave. I made sure my body had fuel before I exercised and enjoyed the family walks the most. My hair was growing thicker and the covering of soft fuzz was gone from my body.
I looked so much better to outsiders but I felt horrible. I was exhausted all the time due to lack of sleep. I thought about Edward constantly at night. It was the only time I allowed myself to focus on him so most nights found me crying in my bed.
I was getting a drink one night when my dad walked through the door. "Were you called in?" I asked him.
"Yeah, someone hit a pole and we had electrical lines down," he said and rubbed his eyes.
"Dad, do you know what cryptography is?"
"Something to do with mummy's?" he chuckled.
"Yeah, and he has a fierce mummy," I laughed, leaving him confused. "What do you think about all this mess with the governor's bodyguard?"
"Well, I don't have all the details but there are certain things I know for sure, the kid was killed for knowing too much. He was only hired less than a month before his death which probably means he was a plant. He was a single guy, easy for a pretty woman to turn his head. He got sloppy and let his guard down."
"Who do you think Carlisle Cullen is protecting?" I asked.
"Nobody, those television types always try to insinuate themselves into stories."
"The guy who was killed was his son's partner; they were cryptographers, code breakers."
Charlie turned to give me his full attention and his eyes seemed suddenly much less tired. "How do you know this information?"
"Um…Jessica dated the dead guy's brother."
"Well, I'm sure the brother is the informant, brother's talk, more so than partners."
"Wouldn't it make the brother a target of the hit man if he knows who he is?"
"I'm sure it would, but the governor doesn't seem worried about his state congress being knocked off. The majority belongs to his party, so he has nothing to gain by getting them killed."
I nodded and gave my dad a quick kiss before heading off to bed. I regretted getting up for water and had to pee all night.
It was now time for the most difficult task for any woman, let alone a former fatty; I had to buy a swimsuit. I took my mother with me, needing someone to lean on for support. She picked out several colorful bikinis and I picked out large black one piece suits.
I stood in the dressing room and stared at the black suit hanging off me like a sack. I picked up one of my mom's choices and turned away from the mirror. I was shocked once again when it easily pulled over my hips. I counted to three before turning around to look in the mirror.
I didn't see the large bulging woman nor did I see the skeletal frame of a child. I had muscles, I had shapely legs, and I had full breasts. I stepped from the dressing room and my mom smiled. "Wow, Bella, you have great boobs."
I looked down and couldn't help the smile, "Yeah, I do."
"I don't like the color, try the blue one," she suggested and I didn't hear a double meaning. A few months ago I would have heard totally different words. Just a comment on the color would have sounded like, "You are too fat to wear a soft color, put on something dark to hid your rolls."
I tried on several and settled on a sapphire blue bikini. I wondered if I would remain so confident when I got to the beach in Maui. We were leaving the mall when my mother asked about my apartment.
"I think I'll go back after Christmas," I said. "I know it seems crazy to waste rent money on something I'm not using but I really needed to be here, mom."
"I'm not trying to push you out; you can stay as long as you want. I'm just wondering if there was another reason you left, like a guy maybe?"
"Guys don't want a woman who starves herself and only sees rolls of fat when she looks in the mirror," I said and realized I should have qualified my statement, guys seem fine with it, but their mother's don't.
"When you love and trust a man it gives you someone to confide in. It makes issues seem smaller," she said and watched for my reaction.
"Ah, you almost had me, but you used the word trust," I said sadly and looked away as we walked.
"Did you meet a man who lies?" she asked and I laughed loudly.
"Don't they all?"
"No, Bella, they don't. Your father has never lied to me. If this man lies forget about him right now."
"I already have," I said and lied to my own mother.
Jessica and I arrived in Maui after a miserable flight. I was drinking water on the plane like a diabetic and climbing over her constantly to go to the bathroom. I felt motion sickness and held tightly to the airsick bag. I wanted to kiss the ground when we landed and Jessica wanted to leave me on the tarmac.
The resort was beautiful and we changed quickly and headed to the beach. It was my moment of truth. I watched Jessica pull off her cover up and adjust her suit right in front of a group of young men. They stared with large eyes at her large assets and began speaking a little too loudly about the tattoo on her breast.
I sat on the lounge chair, still wearing my cover up. "I should get a tattoo," I said and her head snapped around to look at me.
"You really should, let's get something to remind us of our trip, a flower or something," she said enthusiastically.
I had been thinking of something more along the lines of an Edward reminder, but I kept quiet.
"Aren't you going to get some sun?" she asked and looked me up and down.
I hesitantly pulled my cover up off, closed my eyes, and waited for the laughter. I didn't hear anything and began to relax. I felt shade over me and opened my eyes to see a young man holding out a coconut cup. "Would you like a drink?" he asked.
"Oh, no thank you, I'm kind of a health nut," I said and pulled my towel over my exposed body.
"I'll get you some juice then," he said and quickly walked away.
Jessica turned to look at me and smiled, "He's cute Bella, go for it."
"Stop it," I said and looked over at the bar to see him smile at me while he waited. He was ripped with big muscles, reminding me of Emmett, and had dark skin with incredibly white teeth.
He came back and handed me a drink of tropical fruits with a flower sticking out of it. "Thanks," I mumbled and sat up.
"My name is Jake," he said and held out his hand as he sat on my chair.
"I'm Bella, and this is my friend Jessica."
"Hey, Sam," he yelled over my head. "Her name is Jessica."
Jessica looked behind her and gave the shy man a smile, "Get over here, Sam."
He shook his head and laughed as he walked over to join her. I looked back at Jake and noticed how he gave my body a quick glance. I wished I had gone with the black one piece sack.
"Where are you from?" he asked.
"I'm from Washington State, Seattle," I said and felt myself blush for some reason.
"Cool," he said. "I'm from Kona, on the big Island."
"You live in Hawaii and vacation here?" I laughed.
"I won a radio contest, and one resort is just like another, don't you think?"
I wanted to really shock him and tell him I worked for an airline but never travelled to anywhere other than here. This was the only resort I had ever experienced, but I nodded and said, "We'll pretend you're in Australia. Have you seen the Koala's yet?"
"Damn, missed them, but I have snorkeled the barrier reef just over there," he said as he pointed to a spot off the beach where people were floating with snorkeling gear.
"Clever," I said with a laugh and his smile made my heart speed up a bit.
"I have coupons for kayaks, how about we grab a couple and look for whales. It's a bit early in the season but we saw a few last night."
"Whales?" I gasped. "I'm not going out there with whales."
He laughed at my reaction and took my hand to pull me up. "They don't actually come up to the kayak, plus it is illegal for boats to get too close to them."
I walked across the beach with him as he continued to hold my hand. I felt so exposed and my heart was racing. He noticed my reaction and asked, "Is it okay to hold your hand?"
"Yeah, sure, I'm just uncomfortable in this bikini with my Washington pale skin."
He smiled in his way that made me relax and pulled me closer to him. "We have the best bodies on this entire beach," he said and I noticed how he flexed a little.
"You have the best body, I'm just sun deprived," I laughed and it seemed to make him happy that I commented on his body.
"Bella wants to get a tattoo," Jessica said.
"I'm only considering it," I corrected.
"My cousin lives here, I can get you one for free," Sam said, finally speaking to the group.
"I want a little whale, right here," Jessica said and pulled her bikini bottom down to an almost obscene level.
Sam smiled and moved his body closer to hers and said, "I can arrange that."
"What are you thinking of getting?" Jake asked and I suddenly knew exactly what I wanted.
"I want a magic eight ball that says, Oh God, Yes."
Jessica laughed loudly and blurted out, "Finally, Bella gets a little horny."
My entire body blushed and I looked away from the group. Jake noticed how uncomfortable I got and changed the subject. He was a really nice, polite man and the fact his muscles rippled as he rowed the kayak didn't hurt at all.
We were far from the shore when he asked me for a date. "Sam's cousins are having a luau, a real one, not like the show they put on at the hotel. I would really like to bring you as my date," he said with a soft voice.
"When, we are only here for four days," I told him.
"Tonight. I won't lie; it will be real Hawaiian food and eating with our fingers while sitting on the sand. No fire dancers or hula girls."
I wanted to tell him his description meant nothing to me; it was the words he used that got my attention. 'I won't lie,' was all I needed to hear. Three little words made him the best date I could imagine.
17
Jessica was very taken with Sam and I didn't point out how much he reminded me of Mike. He was a big guy, but very meek, letting Jessica take control of everything. I was certain the man would be seduced on the beach this very night.
We remained dressed in our swimsuits and brought a hoodie and pants for when the sun set. Jake only wore a pair of cutoffs and never seemed to get hot or cold. There was a huge crowd of people and I got lost during the introductions after the third name. I did catch one name for sure, Leah. She seemed very upset that I had shown up with Jake.
When the pig was finished being shredded into a large pan we all made a plate of food. I chose the fresh fruits and tried some of the pig cooked in a fire pit. It was tender and sweet and I willingly took another bite when Jake held out some meat with his fingers.
He watched me take it into my mouth and then pulled his fingers to his and licked off all the juice. If it was meant as a seduction move it worked. I moved automatically to my knees and held his face in my hands as I kissed him.
His kisses were not slow building like Edward's or short sucking motions like Jasper's. His warm mouth covered mine and began first thing with his tongue. I noticed how a man kissed was so telling of his personality.
Edward was cautious and became deeper as he opened up. Jasper was only willing to go so far, keeping it quick, most likely so his girlfriend wouldn't find out. Jake was open and free, jumping right in and making you feel he honestly liked you.
I also wondered what my kisses said about me. I was terrified with Edward, desperate with Jasper, and relaxed with Jake.
"Let's get in the water," he said and stood to help me up.
I pulled off my cover up and walked into the warm surf. He pulled me into his arms and my legs wrapped around his body. The sun was setting and the water looked like melted gold as it lapped around our bodies.
"You are so beautiful," he said and put his hand in my hair gently.
"You don't have to do that," I said and dropped my face.
"Sure I do," he continued with a grin. "I get to hold you in my arms, I better appreciate it."
"You're a really sweet guy," I told him honestly.
"I feel like that sentence ends with a 'but'."
I looked into his eyes reflecting off the water and knew I could ask him anything. He brought me around all of his friends and it wasn't awkward and they didn't give each other side glances. He also took me into the water away from the prying eyes on the beach so I wouldn't be laughed at.
"No, but," I said and leaned in to kiss him again.
We stayed in the water as it grew darker and darker, kissing and talking softly. He was two years younger than me and worked with his father on a pineapple farm they owned. He loved Hawaii and felt as if he was part of the land.
"I can be as angry as a volcano and as still as the morning water," he said. "My roots are here, back to the days of ruling kings who came here on canoes."
"Is it hard to see it so overrun by tourists?" I asked.
He smiled and pulled me tighter to him, "I can't regret the tourists; it brought you here."
"Do they all fall for your charm as easily as I did?" I asked and his smile fell.
"I don't usually do this. I've never met a tourist before because they leave." He looked into my eyes and took a deep shaky breath. "I already know I'm really going to miss you."
I didn't come here to fall in love; I came to forget Edward and try to find the strength to do it. Maybe Jake was my strength. I put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. His arms felt so safe and I finally admitted something I had been trying so hard to ignore. A lot of the women in Sam's family were big and nobody said a word about what they ate or how they looked. Maybe I could fit in here.
When I began to shiver we moved from the water back to the beach. I pulled on my sweatshirt and we lay on a blanket by the bonfire. Jake was on his side and I was on my back. He played with my hair, ran his hand under my shirt and across my stomach, and kissed me often.
When someone began playing the guitar I looked over and saw Leah glaring at me. "Is Leah an old girlfriend or something?" I whispered to Jake.
"Ignore her," he said with a sigh. "Her mother and mine are best friends and promised us to each other. She despises me and I find her annoying."
"So why is she looking at me like she wants to kill me in my sleep?"
"She most likely wants to kill you in your sleep," he laughed and I looked at him with wide eyes. "She doesn't like mainlanders. She thinks Hawaii should remain full-blooded Hawaiians."
At that moment Sam came over with his cousin to discuss tattoos. I was no longer certain if I should get something to remind me of Edward or of Jake. I loved Edward, but Jake would cause happy memories not remind me my heart was broken.
"I think I'll watch Jess get one and then decide," I said trying to act afraid.
"It's not so bad if you drink heavily first," the man said seriously.
"You'll have to add vodka to your juice," Jake said into my ear.
"I think I'll have to forget the juice all together," I said honestly.
"Okay, yes I want to do it," Jessica told the man.
She made an appointment for the next day and pulled Sam's arm as she walked away saying, "Come have sex with me pre tattoo so you can tell me if there is a difference afterward."
Leah stomped away and I looked at Jake nervously hoping he didn't expect me to want the same comparison.
"Jessica is a bit…uninhibited," I said as I shook my head.
"Is that a big word for easy?" he laughed and I nodded.
"I'm not, in case you're wondering, easy that is," I said awkwardly.
He smiled and I turned onto my side to face him. His finger pushed some hair behind my ear and he looked at my lips. "Just tell me when you want to leave," he said softly.
"I may never want to leave," I whispered to him.
"I may never want you to leave."
We stayed the entire night curled up on the blanket next to the fading fire. I slept in his arms under the Hawaiian stars and felt hope that my heart would be capable of healing, until my dreams turned to Edward. I dreamed of his voice over the phone, saying sweet romantic things to me. I asked him to come over to my apartment so I could see him, but when I opened the door he stepped back and said, "You're not her, you're not the one I want."
I tried to grab onto him but he kept moving away from me. He finally turned and pulled another woman into his arms. I watched as they kissed aggressively and his hands moved over her body finding joy in every part of her. I cried out and had to run to the railing with nausea.
"Bella, are you okay?" Jake asked.
I jumped from the blanket and ran to the water where I vomited profusely. He waited for me as I held my hand out for him to stay back. I was humiliated and hoping I wasn't getting sick. Jessica walked up with her hair a mess and said, "Are you okay?"
"I must have eaten something that didn't agree with me," I said as I swore off pig meat forever.
"I'll take you back to the hotel," Jake offered and I nodded.
Jessica woke up Sam and we all headed back. I sat with my head back and tried not to get sick from the rocking of the jeep over the unpaved road. We parted at the lobby and I went right to a tub to soak. Jessica fell asleep while she waited for me and I felt a lot better after I dressed and dried my hair.
It was her turn to shower and dress for the day. We headed to breakfast and I knew I would hear all about her night with Sam. I walked along the buffet and nothing sounded good to eat. I really worried about getting sick on my one and only vacation. I settled on a piece of dry toast and sat down to wait for Jessica.
"That's all you're going to eat?" she asked.
"Yeah, my stomach isn't doing too well. Tell me about Sam," I asked to move the focus off of food.
"Well, he is pretty quiet, but goes along with anything so I like him. He's a bit tame in the sack but I'll spice him up. Jake seems great."
"Yeah, he is. I wish he lived in Washington so I could get to know him better," I admitted.
"You fly for free and can pretty much work anywhere you want. Is he worth some effort?"
I wanted to tell her yes he was worth the effort. He was so nice, and we got along well, but there was one huge problem, he wasn't Edward. I enjoyed my time with Jake, but since coming back to the hotel I hadn't thought of him once. Edward was with me in the shower, in the room, and here in the restaurant.
"I'm not looking for anything long term, Jake's sweet, but that's all."
"God, don't you hate the sweet ones, they are so…respectful," she said with a full mouth.
I nibbled on the toast and thought about Edward. I wondered if his routine had changed and he was letting women tell him what they would do instead of the other way around. I hated random women using my man for their fantasies, but I had the biggest fantasy of all, thinking he was mine.
"Did you decide on a tattoo?" she asked.
"Yeah, the eight ball," I said knowing for sure I wanted to remember Edward forever.
We met the guys at one and headed to the tattoo shop. Jessica had changed her mind and got a surfboard instead of a whale, but she kept the same location. I had trouble choosing a place until Jake said, "Guys find the spot just off the hip bone sexy."
Sam handed me a bottle of vodka and just the sight of it turned my stomach. I was going to have to do it sober and hope I had the nerve. Jessica drank right up and only winced a little during her ordeal. Mine was going to be larger and I cried like a baby. Jake held my hand and talked me through it as he wiped the tears from my eyes.
I was finally allowed to look in a mirror at the red swollen skin showing the greatest words Edward ever said to me. Everyone assumed the pain from the tattoo was making me cry, they had no idea it was the pain of losing the man I loved.
Sam had a dragoon tattoo freshened up and we left to see a movie. I leaned against Jake's chest from exhaustion and slept during the whole thing. He held me and kissed my head often as I dreamed of Edward.
The sun was getting low when we met up at the beach and I was feeling very hungry, ravenously hungry. I got a large burger and fries from the cabana and ate it all plus some of Jake's fries.
"How do you stay so thin?" he asked and I shook my head at him.
I was feeling so much better and when he asked if I wanted to take a walk along the beach I jumped at the opportunity. Sam and Jessica stayed behind to make out on a blanket and I was sure they would end up in the room quickly since she was still buzzed from the vodka.
"Sorry about the movie," I said feeling badly for falling asleep.
"Don't be, I loved holding you," he said and pulled me to his chest and kissed me passionately.
He had a definite effect on me and my body easily responded to his, it was my heart that had trouble following along. His breathing grew loud and he pulled back to look into my eyes. "Come to my room," he said and I felt chills run through me.
"I don't know, Jake," I said hesitantly.
"I won't pressure you for sex, I promise," he said as he looked directly at me to see if I believed him.
I watched him for a moment and finally nodded. We walked quietly to his room as the sun set and the darkness made it easier. He left the lights off and opened the drapes to show the beautiful stars. We climbed onto his bed and kissed until we were both panting from need.
When I moved my hand down his suit he did the same and I gasped loudly. My body was screaming with pleasure at the feel of his hands on me. I moaned loudly and he intensified his movements. I followed along at the same pace on him. My head fell back and I called out unconsciously, "Yes, Edward."
Jake froze for a moment and pulled back, removing his hands from my body. I opened my eyes to see the hurt expression on his face and realized what I had said. "I'm sorry," I said as tears formed.
"Are you married?" he asked me and I shook my head back and forth.
"No, I'm in love with a man I can't have," I admitted.
He sat up and took a deep breath to calm his body.
"Jake, I'm sorry; I wasn't imagining you were him. I just said the wrong name, that's all."
I climbed off the bed and walked from the room, he didn't try to stop me. When I got back to my room a note was stuck to the mirror.
Bella,
Some guy called, told him you were with Jake for the night.
Jess
I ran to the bathroom and threw up my huge dinner.
18
I wanted to believe it was Edward who called and not my father. They were the only two men I knew. Edward would have had to call my parents to find out where I was so I called home. My mother answered and asked how things were going. I told her we were having a ball and that I got a tattoo.
"Your father will freak," she said and I laughed.
"I'm twenty-six and he'll never see it," I told her and knew it was time to move back to Seattle. "Did anyone call for me?"
"Yeah, I assumed it was work, I gave them the flight information and your hotel, was that okay?"
Of course she assumed it was work, why would a man call her fat friendless daughter? I fought back my tears and assured her everything was fine. I hung up the phone and broke down. He was actually looking for me and called Hawaii, it had to mean something. I ran to the front desk and asked if they had any computers I could use. They told me the internet café was closed for the day and I would have to wait until nine the next morning.
Jess never came back and I tossed and turned all night. When I finally fell asleep I dreamed of running into Edward's arms. I could hardly wait until I could show him the tattoo. Everything was looking better and I cursed myself for being in Hawaii.
The door opening woke me up and I sat up to see Jessica dragging in. She glanced at me and fell face first onto the bed. "I'm never drinking again," she moaned.
"Was it Edward who called?" I asked enthusiastically.
"Huh?"
"The man who called last night, was it Edward?"
"I don't know," she said with her face still buried.
"Well, think," I yelled and she finally raised her head.
"He said, 'may I speak to Bella,' and I said, 'isn't she with you, Jake,' and he said, 'this isn't Jake,' and I said, 'oh, well she's with Jake, most likely for the night,' and he hung up."
"He didn't say goodbye, he just hung up?" I asked as my heart pounded loudly.
"I don't know," she said angrily, "I was being serviced by Sam at the time, it was hard to speak."
"You are such a slut," I said through my tears and ran to the bathroom to throw up again.
She walked to the doorway of the bathroom and looked at me as I sat on the rim of the tub.
"So is it Edward's baby?" she asked with a disgusted smirk.
"What?" I said angrily.
"You're pregnant, Bella. Please tell me you know whose baby it is."
"I'm not pregnant," I said appalled she would assume such a thing.
"You throw up, you're tired all the time, you pee constantly and get extremely hungry. If you haven't had sex, expect a visit from an angel because you are so pregnant."
I covered my face with my hands and sobbed loudly. I was so stupid, I didn't have time to grow up and learn how to maneuver the social world. I was twenty-five before a man even noticed me. I didn't realize I should have taken condoms with me to the hotel and told Edward about his mother's threats. I should have demanded answers from him and confronted Jasper about his thoughts on who I was. I should have brought someone with me to Hawaii I trusted and had things in common with instead of the first girl from Forks to call me thin.
"I want to go home," I cried.
"Get up," Jessica said, "We'll get a pregnancy test and find out for sure."
I washed my face and opened the door to find Jake ready to knock. I broke into tears again and he asked Jessica to give us a moment. She went into the bathroom and got into the shower.
"I hope I didn't cause that look on your face," he said sweetly.
"No, you didn't."
"I wanted to apologize for how I acted last night. I have no right to be angry with you and I wanted to tell you I enjoyed meeting you and spending time together."
"Thank you, you are a very sweet handsome man," I told him and he smiled widely causing me to do the same.
"If you're interested we are taking a boat ride tonight, you are invited to come along," he said and handed me a piece of paper with his number on it.
I took it and nodded; afraid I would begin to cry again if I spoke to him. He left and Jessica got out of the shower and dressed before we headed out to the internet café and the drugstore. I purchased a test and went to look up information online as she went to get food and bring it to our room.
I searched for news about Edward and found nothing. Then I searched for Carlisle and found information on a man named James and a woman named Victoria who were suspects in the murder of Warren Whitlock. It didn't say anything about how they were apprehended and I wanted to believe it was all over and Edward needed me to come home to him.
I had no number to call him and found Carlisle's and Esme's unlisted. I knew I could call the station but I didn't want Edward's parents to know I was looking for him. I was stuck on an island in the middle of the pacific and wanted to be home more than anything I had ever wanted in my life.
I headed back to the room and Jessica sent me straight to the bathroom to take the pregnancy test. I was torn, if everything was truly over I wouldn't mind having a child with Edward, but if his mother was still against letting me into the family a baby would be a nightmare.
I followed the instructions and brought the stick out for Jessica to read, I was too nervous. I forced myself to eat part of an omelet just in case I was eating for two. Three minutes seemed like an hour and I tried to think through both scenarios.
Finally Jessica stood and announced she was reading the results now. She glanced at the stick and looked over at me. "What?" I asked needed her to stop torturing me.
"You'll need a more modern name than Edward, so don't name him junior," she said and I looked down at my stomach.
I was carrying a baby, a part of Edward, and part of me was thrilled while another part was terrified.
"Don't get fat again," Jessica said and a whole other fear came to the surface.
There was no way I could do this; I couldn't handle my own life let alone a child who would depend on me. I looked at Jessica's concerned face and whispered, "I have to get rid of it."
She came over to sit next to me on the bed and asked, "How far along are you?"
I counted back in my mind and said, "Almost three months."
"Get out of here," she yelled and raised my shirt up to see my flat stomach. "No, way, it has to be earlier."
"No, I know the exact hour when I got pregnant," I told her leaving out the fact it was my one and only time having sex with a man.
"Is this Edward guy going to freak or be happy?"
"I have no idea," I said and felt another round of fear. "I'm not telling him, I need to have an abortion."
"Come on Bella, you only have six more months and some lucky couple can have him. Don't kill him because you made a mistake."
I jumped up and glared at her, "Stop calling it him."
"It is a him or a her already," she insisted and I felt overwhelmed and wanted Edward.
I was so tired of crying and so tired of feeling weak. I wanted Edward to be mine and I didn't care if his mother could filet me or not.
"I'm going home, Jessica, you can stay and finish the vacation, but I'm going home."
"What should I tell Jake?" she asked and I knew she was staying.
"I didn't sleep with him," I said and left out the fact I almost did. "Don't tell him anything."
I packed my bags and took a cab to the airport. I had to wait until late afternoon to get on a flight and arrived in Seattle before ten. I was exhausted, nauseous, and worried. I could feel my body expanding as the hours ticked by and wondered if people were staring at the poor pregnant woman without a ring.
I headed to my apartment and noticed the stale smell of stagnant air. Edward's lights were off but I pounded on the door anyway. He never answered. I peeked through the crack in the curtains and cried out when I saw the whole apartment was empty.
I ran to my car and drove quickly to the Cullens as I tried to come up with a reason to need Edward's address. Cars were parked all the way up and down the street and policemen were guarding the house. I saw someone dressed in a tux and gown and asked them what was going on.
"It's a fundraiser for the Governor," they told me.
I drove down about two miles and parked before heading back up the beach. I wasn't going to crash the party; I just wanted to wait until it broke up before asking about Edward. I walked to the pier and climbed under the barricades which were not being watched. I could see the deck and with the bright lights I could make out some of the people, like Esme and Alice.
I used a barricade to climb up to the rafters under the pier to watch the party. I pulled my legs up and leaned against the rails to wait. I closed my eyes for a few moments and heard a weird sound coming from the surf. I turned just my head to see someone dressed in all black coming from the water and making his way to the front of the pier by moving stealthily between the pillars.
My heart was beating loudly and I held perfectly still. The phantom knelt down and pulled a large gun from his side. He proceeded to remove his head covering and I put my hand over my mouth so I wouldn't make a sound at the sight of Emmett lining up someone in his crosshairs.
I looked at the deck and saw a black man with long hair pulled back standing with Esme. She stretched her arms in the air and I heard a ping as the man fell to the ground. My eyes shot open wide and I whimpered softly. Emmett spun around and pointed his gun right at me.
"No, please," I said barely above a whisper.
He ran over to where I was hidden in the darkness and pulled my leg, bringing me to the sand. He grabbed the back of my neck and pushed me into the cold surf. His gun went back into the holder against his side and he grabbed a can of some sort of breathing devise and put it in my hand and over my mouth. I was pulled under the water and Emmett grabbed onto something with his hand and we were pulled forward at an amazing speed.
I kept my eyes closed and breathed through the mouth piece as he held tightly to my neck. When we finally surfaced he pulled himself onto a sort of Jet Ski and dragged me onto his lap before taking off into the darkness.
I was shivering from the cold and from fear when he pulled into a cave along a rocky cliff. He tossed me onto the sandy shoal and shut off the machine he was driving. "Are you fucking insane?" he screamed loudly.
"I only wanted to see Edward," I cried.
"Damn it, damn it," he screamed as he paced back and forth.
"I won't tell anyone what I saw," I promised.
"Shut up," he screamed in total rage. "God Bella, I can't just let you go."
"You can, I won't say a word. I'm not even sure what happened."
"It's not my decision, damn it, Bella," he yelled again.
He pulled out a radio and spoke with his back to me. I couldn't hear what he was saying but I could hear whoever was on the radio. "She's collateral damage, take care of it."
Emmett turned to look at me and slowly raised his gun. His body blurred as my eyes filled with tears. I tried to speak several times before I could get the words out of my throat.
"I'm pregnant with Edward's baby," I gasped.
"I really don't care," he responded.