AN: Three chapters going up at once this time – 12 Labors, 7 Faces of Dr. Ann and 8 Wrongsicks in a Duff Killigan Bag. None of them are exactly PC, but 8 is really… yeah, that kinda wrong. More unbelievably, the original goal of 99 is now just around the corner. So do I keep going…? Legal At Bottom…

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CHAPTER 6

THE TWELVE LABORS OF KIMCULES

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1

Shego's eyes bugged, her senses reeled, and above all else, her sense of total wrongsickness went up exponentially as she stared at the intruders. "Do I even want to know?"

"Miss Possible has mononucleosis, so I'll be filling in for this mission," Mr. Barkin replied, looking surprisingly comfortable in Kim's spare mission uniform as he and Ron dropped from the air vents.

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2

Monkey' Fist's temper finally snapped as he glared at the manager of the hotel where the annual Bad Guys Banquet and Boozer was being held. "That rate is outrageous… and I know for a fact that that's fifty percent more than you charged any of the other villains!"

Not intimidated at all, the manager disdainfully raised one eyebrow and sniffed. "Perhaps that is because the OTHER villains do not consistently leave the walls of their restrooms covered in excrement, Lord Fiske."

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3

"Acch… nein… ow ow ow… aiiiiiiiiieee…. gyyyaaaaaaaa!" Like a cat being tortured, the female screams echoed through the hallways and cellblocks of the Middleton Penitentiary for Very, Very Bad Girls.

"Electronique and the showers, never a good combination," Adrena Lynne commented sadly.

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4

"Well, at least now we know what the problem with the gear train was," Henchco Henchman #37564 said with a queasy expression as the shredded and rather petrified remains of Henchman #14883, who'd been listed as AWOL for the last three months, were extracted from the caterpillar tread mechanism of Professor Dementor's gargantuan Langegenital Kampfpanzer of Doom.

Looking at how the ex-henchman had managed to get himself into almost every single cog and pulley, Dementor could only say one thing: "Jah, nothink gumz up se gearz like tossink a hench in za works."

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5

"I don't understand this… I must be missing something," Agent Will Du thought to himself, wondering why everyone else in the room had snickered when Dr. Director had gave him his current orders.:

"If you're going to be my number two, here's what I want you to do Du: go through these drawers and, work up with a process of elimination to void the crap that's got to come out, then come back and give me the poop on what you want to put in the waste receptacles." No, Will thought, as he ran her words back through his mind again and again, he still JUST didn't understand what was so funny about this shitty job... and it was starting to piss him off!

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6

"Truly, this is a brilliant idea that you have had, honorable Big Mike-san," the Sumo Ninja nodded.

Big Mike grinned back at his new 'twin.' "Hey, it just makes sense that we should pool our resources to get custom shirts made in our size, and if we can get Fat Albert and Juggernaut to join in, we can get an even bigger discount."

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7

Shego turned in terror, realizing too late what the lever in the blue fool's hand did. "No Doc, that's the emergency cleaning access port for the ship's bilge!"

"Oh poop," Drakken managed to squeak before being engulfed, his cleaver plot to sneak into the cruise liner and hold the celebrities on board for ransom being forever washed away as the shit hit his plan.

8

Ron's face curled up in disgust. "No way, it looks funny, smells like fish and you want me to put my mouth on that thing?"

"It's called sushi and it IS fish," Yori sighed, getting a wee bit testy with Ron's 'American Style Humour" as she continued to hold the scorpion roll out to the very picky Stoppable-san.

9

"Well, I suppose it had to happen eventually," Ron groaned, holding his nose as Kim flushed in embarrassment.

The blue mad scientist scowled up from behind his wrinkled paper at the two teenagers who had ALMOST come out of the air vent above him, "Yes, well, go out side and wait and we can pick up once I've washed my hands… I'm almost done with this article anyway."

10

"Holy crap, Kim, WTHITT?" Monique blushed as everyone and everything in the hallway froze, all eyes and ears trained on the school's cheer team captain and all around world saving hero type, waiting to see WHAT she could possibly do to explain that THING that had just tumbled out of her gym bag.

Slipping the twenty six inch hypersonic pickle of pleasure vibrator back in her mission case with the closest thing to an innocent smile she could manage, Kimberly Ann Possible decided to go for the 'big lie' and attempted to bluff her way through it. "It's a Light Saber and I've just been ordained as a Jedi."

11

"What do you mean you're refusing to take Shego?" Kim demanded of Officer Hobbie and the group of policewomen in confusion, the green woman's body still slung over her shoulder since NO ONE seemed to want to take charge of the prisoner.

In response, Hobbie motioned to the ladies, prison matrons all, who raised similarly bandaged hands. "Sorry Kim, but we've decided that you'll have to take her to Global Justice because our regulations state that every prisoner being checked into Maximum Security has to have a full cavity search, and last week Miss Plasma-pants here figured out a nasty new trick."

12

Kim attempted to blink innocently as she stared back across the table, where she'd been 'helping' her mother make guacamole for the Hospital Halloween party, which with the younger Possible's lack of kitchen skills meant basically 'sampling' the raw materials and work in progress . "Uh.. .what makes you think there's something going on between me and Shego?"

Ann Possible gave her daughter a knowing look. "First, its 'Shego and I,' dear, and as for why… in the last hour I've watched you hollow out sixteen avocados and twelve lime halves using nothing but your tongue, and if you think the tablecloth is hiding what your 'idle' hand is doing beneath it, you're quite mistaken."

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Ye Old Legal stuff: Kim Possible, Shego, Ron Stoppable, Monkey Fist, Dr. Drakken, Dr. Ann Possible, Mr. Barkin, Monique, Yori,Big Mike, The Sumo Ninja, Will Du, Dr. Director,Professor Dementor, Electronique, Adrena Lynne, Officer Hobbie, the Henchco Henchmen and all other characters borrowed from the wonderful KP Universe are the creations of Mark McCorkle and Bob Schooley, and those names are all trademarks of the Disney media organizations. Although use in this context may be considered fair under parody law, just in case: this work was not created for profit, no money changed hands etc. Also, this story takes place at a time at which all characters shown should be considered to be over the legal age of 18…