I ran and stopped at the red light. "How stupid am I? I come back to be with him and at the sight of him I run!" I said to myself and the light turned green and I started walking across. I paused once I was half way across and saw the cars honking at me and saw the light was green for them. I nodded and continued walking until I was back on the sidewalk. I sighed and sat down on some steps.

I watched as people walked by, some just getting up for the day. I pushed some loose strands of hair out of my face and stood up. I walked up the street and someone caught my arm. "Marietta?" I froze and slowly turned to see Nicholas, only now he had a small beard and slightly longer hair. "Oh god, you scared me." "Oh?" he said and smiled at me, then pulled me into a store. "I want you to meet someone." He said and I nodded, still relieved it wasn't Murphy or Conner.

"Marietta, this is my wife, Anne. Anne, this is an old friend of mine, Marietta." She held her hand out and I took it smiling. "So when are you due?" I asked and she smiled, touching her huge belly. "Soon, next week is my due date." She said and I patted Nicholas on the back. "Good job! Congrats!" I said with a laugh and he nodded, rubbing his neck.

Anne took my hand and led me to a back room, where two little girls were playing with some dolls. "Julie, Veronica, this is an old friend of your fathers. Her name is Marietta." I waved at them and Anne sat down beside them. "Three kids?" I asked, sitting on a stool near by. "Yes, I met Nicholas after I moved here and got a job working on my mother's store, which is now mine."

I nodded and Nicholas came in the back. "I see you met the twins." I nodded and stood up. "I really must be going; I am meeting up with some old friends I haven't seen in a while." I said, walking to the door. "Nicholas honey, walk her out." Anne called and Nicholas walked with me outside. "It's them isn't it?" he asked in a simple tone. "What?" I asked and he looked at me.

"Those friends of yours, the ones that showed up after we spent the night together." I remembered and nodded. "They are the Saints, ya know." I nodded again. "I do, but I doubt I will find them, I just needed some fresh air." "And you came here?" we laughed and he hugged me. "Just be careful Marietta." He whispered and waved as I walked off. I sighed and paused at the hotel where Matthew had stayed with me for those first 3 months. I shook my head and kept walking.

I stopped in front of a church and walked in. It was empty, except the clergy sitting in a pew. "May I help you child?" he asked, standing up. "I just wanted to talk to someone, that's all." I said, looking around at the windows. He touched my shoulder and I realized I had been staring off. "Shall we go into the confession?" I shook my head, smiling. "I'm not confessing anything." He nodded and motioned for me to take a seat.

I did and he sat beside me, waiting for me to say something. "Eight years ago, someone was killed, and I tried to stop it, but couldn't do it. I could've, but they were still killed and I believe it is my fault. He was a friend of mine, even though I barely knew him and he was killed in front of me and my…boy-my friend and his brother. They were his friends and had to watch him die." I said and saw a tear fall on my folded hands.

"Child, you did everything you could?" I nodded. "I tried to take his place, I was willing to die for them, if only he would have just listened and agreed with me." I said and he lifted my chin. "Why do you still feel it was your fault, if you were willing to take his place?" I jumped up and kicked the pew in front of me, making it fall.

"Because it was my uncle that did it! I begged him to let them go, but he wouldn't do it! He had to be cruel and act like he was going to do it, then changed his mind and shoot him without giving anyone a chance to do anything to stop it! I thought I had saved his life, but I just gave him a few extra moments of knowing that he was going to die, or that I was going to die for him!" I cried and fell to my knees.

"You gave him a few extras moments to thank you for your willingness to sacrifice yourself, and for him to thank the lord for letting him meet you. As for his friends, I'm sure they do not blame you-" "That's what I can't stand! They should hate me! I couldn't even face them after it happened, I ran and I didn't think what might happen to them if I left, they could've died too and I just ran away!" I yelled and he knelt beside me, holding my shoulders.

"You must not blame yourself for what happened long ago, you must know you could have done nothing to change it. And you say they could've died, which means they did not." "I don't care! I shouldn't have run! I should've stood by them! It's my fault Rocco's dead and it's my fault that they were hurt in the first place! I could've changed so much! IT'S MY FAULT!" I screamed and looked at the ceiling. "I can't even feel sorry. I know I should, but I can't. The devil's blood through me and I can't even atone for that." I whispered, letting the tears roll down my face.

"I was born a murder, I'll only be happy when I'm hurting someone else. I can't change anything." I mumbled and he stood up, holding his hands out for me. "You are not the devil's child, you are not a murder, you are a beautiful young woman whose unable to forgive herself for what has happened." He said and I looked at him, and then shook my head. "I'm sorry, I want to be alone. Do you mind?" I asked and he nodded, smiling. "To for the strength to forgive yourself." He whispered and touched my forehead and walked off.

I got up and walked to the altar, staring at the statue of Jesus on the cross. "Should I even be allowed to see them again? After what I did, after what blood runs in my veins, the same blood that they spilled in the courtroom, the same blood that pulled the trigger, ending their best friend's life?" I asked and sat down on the steps. "I couldn't face him, either of them. It's been eight years; do they even want to see me? I wouldn't care if they did me like they did my uncle; I mean I pretty much let it happen."

I wiped my eyes and closed my eyes, thinking back to what happened all those years ago. David Della Rocco died in front of me, Conner and Murphy. By my uncle's hands, and in return, they killed him in a courtroom full of people. I remember their faces, the way they looked at me the moment my uncle saw me and knew we knew each other. They must have thought I was with him, using them to lead them here. I sighed and stood up, turning to face the statue again.

"I shouldn't be forgiven; I should be in the grave, just like my father. He is a demon and I'm his daughter, I'm a killer at heart and only want to earn their forgiveness, but I don't even deserve it. The Saints, they are supposed to kill evil people; I guess I should be first on their list. I wish I was on their list, that way I wouldn't have to look at their faces again, because all I see is hatred and disgust." I leaned back to look at the ceiling.

"I'm evil. Can evil end their own lives?" I asked, taking out a knife from my belt. I placed it at my neck, right where I always aim to kill. "To kill, is a sin, and sinners are supposed to be saved by death, I've killed so many in my life, what's one more?" I closed my eyes and went to jerk it across my throat but I was knocked down. My knife was jerked away from me and I was pinned to the ground. "Everything if that one is you!" my eyes flashed open and I was staring into his blue eyes. "How long have you been here?" I whispered and he sighed. "For every word, and you're wrong!" I reached for my knife, but couldn't get out of his grip. "How stupid are ya Marietta! It wasn't your fault!" he yelled at me and I tried to get away again, but he pulled me into a hug. "It wasn't your fault." He whispered in my hair and I pulled away to look at him. "Why not?" I asked and he pulled me to him and he kissed me. "Because, you cared about us all, you almost died for us. How could it be your fault?" he said with a small smile.

What should I do? Should I believe him? My heart and mind are torn.