We got outside and he wrapped his arm around me. "Listen, you won't try to hurt yourself again will ya?" I giggled and shook my head. "It was pretty stupid of me." "We missed ya a lot. Just seeing ya again made us both speechless" I started to walk in step with him and sighed. "He doesn't seem too happy to see me." "It just hasn't sunk in yet." I shook my head. "Why are you here?" he asked and I smiled. "I knew if you guys found out, that you would come back. I wanted to see you guys again." He nodded and we turned down another street.
"What are you guys doing here?" "To finish off every fucker that had anything to do with the priests murder." I nodded. "I understand that, so if you finished my uncle off with your dad, where is he? I would like to apologize for stabbing him with a knife." He laughed and I looked around. "He isn't coming because he isn't as healthy as he used to be." I paused and he stopped with me.
"I'm sorry." "Nah, it's fine, he'll be alright with some much needed rest." I looked at him closely and he looked away after a moment. "Let's get you home." He started walking, pulling me with him. "Conner, there is something you should know." He glanced at me, waiting for me to say it. "I ran away from home of course, to make sure history doesn't repeat itself and for another reason."
"You care about him, I already know." He finished and I let out a deep breath, smiling. "I was wondering if you knew if he…" "Felt the same way? Of course he does." "Really? How can you tell?" he stopped and turned to face me. "Because, while we were heading back home, he never really seemed focused anymore, not like he used to before you came along fully. I mean he would do it without flaws, but his heart was only half in it, I caught him a lot staring out a window or out on a field, probably thinking about you and wondering why you left."
I looked away and pushed my hair behind my ears. "I was engaged to Matthew, but I didn't love him, he knew this, he tried to change this, but knew he couldn't, so he let me go. He loves me and I could only care for your brother. I came back hoping to see you guys again and maybe explain it to him, hope he would understand what I did." We started walking again, this time in silence and side by side, barely touching.
After a few minutes of walking in silence I stopped. He turned to me with a confused look on his face. "I need some time to think about some stuff, I don't want you guys to know where I'm staying for now. Here's a cell phone for you guys to get in touch with me, my number is already in there. Just let me think everything over." He nodded and took the phone.
He started to walk away when I grabbed his forearm. "Don't tell him just yet. I ran away, not thinking anything through so now I'm very confused and just need to think." He smiled and kissed my cheek. "I'll call you if we plan anything. You are apart of this after all, I mean your family is involved." I nodded, and then let him go and he walked away. I watched him until I knew he was gone, then took a few detours and finally went home. I fell on the newly made bed and sighed.
I found the remote and hit the button that pulled back the curtains. "Nice view." I jumped up and turned, ready with a knife, looking for the person that the voice belonged to. "Show yourself." I ordered and heard a chuckled. I blew out a breath and threw the dark in the knife playfully. "Don't do that." I said and fell back on the bed, staring at the ceiling.
"You used to like it." he said and walked out, twirling the knife I threw in his hand. "I thought you said you weren't going to stalk me this time." "I just wanted to make sure you were getting settled in and everything and that you could find the guys alright." I nodded and he plopped on the bed beside me, handing the knife back. I put it back and shook my head at him.
"I think you just came back to protect me and hold me if he turned me down." He smiled and nodded. I turned my head, facing him and gave him a look. He turned and propped his head up with his arm. "I got in my hotel room and realized that you would be stuck there until you found a way to get in touch to me if he did turn you down. I came back to make sure he doesn't and you are happy, and if he is stupid enough to actually tell you no, then I would be here to comfort you until you are ready to go wherever."
I stared at him for a moment and smiled. "I'm glad you're back. I might need your shoulder." I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed at me. "I'll always be here whenever you need me to be." I nodded and he took my hand and placed it against his chest. "You'll always be number one in here to me, but I understand if you can't feel the same. That's why I decided to let you go." I sighed and pressed his chest gently.
"Thank you Matt." I mumbled and he lifted my chin and smiled at me. "Don't feel sad for me, I'll be alright of course. I only want you to be happy." I sighed and smiled at him. He let my hand go and dropped his hand. "So where are you staying?" I asked and he looked at me. "I was hoping I could take your couch for the night, until I can get my funds ready and transferred over." I giggled and nodded.
"You are welcome in my room whenever." I offered and he smiled. I stretched and closed my eyes, and then he was kissing me. I kissed him back without thinking and soon I was on top of him, kissing his neck. I found his soft spot and he let out a small moan. I smiled against his skin and suddenly he gently pushed me off and sat up with a deep sigh. "I can't." he whispered and I realized what we were both thinking and sat up too.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." I mumbled and he lifted my chin with a sad smile. "It's okay, I shouldn't have kissed you in the first place. It's my own fault." He said and I smiled and rested my face in his hand, closing my eyes again. "Matthew, how can you stand being around me so much, knowing that I will never feel the same?" I asked, opening my eyes to him staring off. "I'm not sure, maybe because I knew your angry side before I met the sweet side." He joked and I punched him, laughing.
"You're such an ass." "But always yours." He finished and I paused and sighed. "How can you even say such things? Doesn't it hurt?" he nodded and rubbed his head. "It does, but it's worth it if I can see your smiling face or see you laughing." I smiled and took his hand. "Well you can always make me smile and laugh almost anytime." He chuckled and started to say something, but I cut in. "I have to think, alone. Can you give me a few minutes?" he nodded and walked to the sliding glass door, walking outside and closing it behind him.
I stared at him for a moment, then crawled up onto the pillows and rolled on my back, staring at my reflection on the ceiling. I stared for what seemed like hours and still couldn't find the answer I was searching for. I sighed and rolled on my stomach, burying my face in the soft pillows. I finally rolled off the bed and walked outside with Matthew. "Couldn't figure it out could you?" I shook my head and he wrapped me in his arms. "You will, you always do." He whispered in my ear and I looked out at the city.
It was about lunch time when we finally decided to go back inside. We ordered room service and he told me that Maine was too boring for him and that once I had everything figured out that he was going to go to New York and see how he liked it. We finished and he said he had to go get his stuff and left me alone. I sighed and looked around at my temporary home. There was a knock, I got up and opened the door to see my cousin staring at me. "Hello Marietta."
Oh shit! I'm in a shit storm now and blind too.