First I want to thank everyone for sticking with this and putting in time to alert and review my story, this is a very important chapter and it will be a big turning point in the story, I hope you guys like it and choose to hang on…

I have no beta so any mistakes are my own

Disclaimer: not mine

"Eric, please come in"

I stood back to let him enter while giving him a quick onceover; I didn't want to be the only one that looked like death warmed over, so seeing him look somewhat disheveled gave me some satisfaction. Eric took hesitant yet eager steps into my home, I have no idea what he expected to come of our conversation, I for that matter was somewhat clueless, but I had a very strong concept of where I wanted this to go.

It was 7am and my body was struggling, I could feel my exhaustion creeping over me by the minute but I was too buzzed to be able to rest or sleep, I could tell Eric was having a similar crisis, so I offered to get him some coffee, he agreed looking somewhat relieved, I guess he wasn't the only one that was hoping to see the other nervous. After pouring us two cups of coffee and cutting up two slices of pie, I took a deep breath and went to call Eric so we could sit down at the kitchen table, I'm not crazy but I felt like I would be more in my element in here rather than the living room.

Eric settled in the chair opposite mine, swallowed a piece of pie and quickly followed with a huge gulp of coffee. He did all this without taking his eyes off of me, I knew that look, Eric was assessing me on some sort of level, and he was gauging my body language and reactions trying to pick up on any hints. Suddenly he looked down at his coffee and back up at me again with his eyebrows furrowed, then he took his mug to his lips once more which caused his eyes to widen, looking back up to meet my eyes his breath hitched in his throat.

"Sookie, how do you know how I take my coffee?"

Part of me wanted to really have fun with this, but I think being as tired as I am and the fact that Eric looked like he saw a ghost, I just went straight for it.

I raised one eyebrow and tilted my head to the side.

"Eric, being with someone for four years, you kind of catch on these things"

The way I said it carried no humor, actually my statement was so loaded with meaning that you would think the air got thicker in the kitchen, I was just hoping he was picking up what I was laying down; yes, I do remember and no, you didn't seem to catch on much, or else we really wouldn't be here.

He looked down to his pie fumbling with his fork but really avoiding my gaze, I knew then that he had understood what I was implying.

"Eric, I didn't call you to throw your actions in your face."

I said that as a reminder to myself more than him, I needed to keep my emotions under control. And if I kept this up I would be doing a piss poor job.

He nodded his head quickly, and then pushed his empty plate away.

"Sookie, I know that there is a lot that is left unsaid between us, and I know how hard this is for you to sit down and talk this out with me, and I want you to know I will not leave until you ask me to, I will not move before all is said and understood. But before you say anything please understand that anything I did, it was because I love you, no matter how it may not seem that way, please know that"

It was my turn to furrow my eyebrows, not only because I simply failed to see Eric's actions could be interpreted into 'love' (a word he would never have said a year ago), but also because I knew that Eric almost always shied away from any serious in-depth discussion, I think it's a guy thing, so to see him willing to be an active participant or maybe even have an initiative to lead was quite the head-turner. But I chose to bite down on my tongue, keep my thoughts to myself, and nodded my head for him to continue.

"Remember the night you asked to move in with me?"

His voice was very thick with emotions and almost cracked at the end.

I couldn't understand why he was bringing up that particular evening; it was one of those memories that I had always preferred to push down to avoid wallowing in self-pity. I did remember that night; I had almost begged to move in with him claiming that it was only the logical next step because it would save us time and money, but he chose to remain silent. I knew Eric all too well to understand that he was panicking like hell underneath his neutral demeanor and wasn't ready for that particular step, so I brushed it off to save myself further embarrassment and him more discomfort, but it hurt me so much that he didn't want me around. I felt so pathetic and worthless.

I still couldn't see how digging up that incident would help Eric's case, besides I really had no desire to open up these somewhat closed issues, but once again I opted for silence and let him continue…

Eric continued to explain his reasons, motives and actions, he explained how he felt about all these small things that had passed between us, how he felt that he had disappointed me one too many times, hence deciding to 'let me go'.

To say I was unimpressed would be the understatement of the damn year, and I was merely left shell-shocked, I mean what was he thinking? How could he ever think that the way he handled things could be anything but senseless?

The sad thing was I really had nothing to say to that, it just didn't make the difference he thought it should, I mean I understood clearly what this means and I understand that he didn't cheat on me, but…

I simply realized that it was all little too late, and at this point I couldn't be bothered to feel a bit better about his infidelity or lack thereof, I was so worn down by all of this, I hadn't even noticed.

I looked up and saw that Eric was in tears, I would be lying if I said my heart didn't soften a little bit at seeing this, after all this was the only man I had learned to love. I knew that he was crying for all the things that had been lost between us.

"I'm so sorry Sookie, I'm so sorry."

I couldn't help but let out a few tears of my own and I extended my hand to hold his, the feeling of his hand against mine raised too many emotions inside of me for my own comfort so I patted his hand and withdrew mine in the most subtle way I could.

"Eric, I understand everything you have said, but that's all I can give you now, I am in no position to offer anything more."

He nodded his head in understanding, and looked at me with so much emotion in his eyes, I knew that a year ago seeing that look would have me down to a puddle at his feet, now it just made me feel sorry for all the damage that was done.

We continued our talk, or rather our Q&A for the next couple of hours or so going from heavy subjects as my departure, the accident, how he found me and of course our baby, we tried to tread carefully on all these subjects choosing to avoid getting too deep for our own sanity, all went smoothly considering the circumstances except of course when we began talking about the pregnancy, that brought around a bout of emotions neither of us were prepared for. Then we moved on to small talk, which surprisingly felt more awkward than the previous topics.

After all was said and done we both sat in an awkward silence, stealing glances at one another while sipping on our fourth cup of coffee, I couldn't help but look at his face, I always felt so lucky to have his attention, and have him all to myself, he was just so breath taking, but thinking back now I see that neither of us could ever be enough for the other. So I went for the last card I had to put down, it was the only thing I could do now, for both of us. I began with a huge sigh to get his attention and my feeling of exhaustion in every sense of the word across to him.

I think he knew what was coming because I could new see fear and desperation reeking out of Eric's every gesture, and I damned myself for being able to read him so well because it did nothing for my nerves or my sense of self preservation. But this is what it all really came down to, didn't it?

"Eric, I am so tired…I have been angry, upset and broken for so long, I can 't even recognize myself any more, I need to take a break, a pause, I need to step back and put myself together and take care of me now, I need to be alone, I want to be alone. Eric I need to make myself happy before I even have a chance at making anyone else happy, please understand what I am saying."

I didn't look up from my downward gaze at my hands on the kitchen table, not because of shame or regret because I felt neither, not because I was afraid that looking directly at him would make me change my words, not at all. But because I didn't want him to see the look in my eyes, I didn't want him to know that making that decision was easier than I ever thought possible, it came so naturally to me, that I was shocked at my own strength, I loved Eric so much and I was still hurting but too much had happened, the pain of being away from him though still there, had lessened greatly.

But I guess my curiosity got the best of me so I slowly but carefully looked upwards training my eyes on Eric's face, all I saw there was all the understanding I needed, He had a sad smile on his face, the smile said it all and nothing at all. I was reminded once again of the Eric I had fallen in love with and I couldn't help but return his smile, thanking him for not making this harder than it needs to be.

Eric smoothly yet swiftly got up from his chair and planted a lingering soft kiss on my cheek and walked out of my home.

Please tell me your thoughts, what do you think of Sookie's decision and Eric's reaction?