Day One
It was three o'clock in the morning, and Rarity was fast asleep.
Day Two
Rarity awoke to complete silence. She was the kind of pony who was a firm believer in the phrase, "Early to bed, early to rise makes you healthy, wealthy and wise." She wasn't particularly interested in wealth or wisdom, but she needed to stay in good condition in order to maintain a healthy sheen in her long, lustrous mane.
She stepped out of bed, and carefully re-tucked the sheets and aligned the pillows via magic. I may not be able to put on flashy shows like Twilight Sparkle, but I can straighten out a bed faster than any unicorn in Ponyville, she thought proudly. Elegance is not leaving a single loose end; neat-and-tidiness is a dying art. What would Equestria do without me?
She trotted over to her window, and stuck her head into the raw morning air. It was a picturesque scene; grass growing all around, leaving only a small path of dirt untouched. Rolling hills stretched across the background, surely the homes of hundreds of mountain dragons. A lone tree stood next to the dirt path, providing a small patch of shade. Somepony really should paint this. It would be a downright shame to let all this untouched beauty go to waste.
After breathing in her fill of the scenery, Rarity stepped back inside. She clopped down the stairs, through the boutique and into the kitchen. At this point in her morning routine, she usually stopped for a second to appreciate the silence. But she was having difficulty doing that at the moment. It took her a minute to figure out why. However, it came to her after some intent listening; it was not completely silent. There was a faint tapping sound coming from outside. Hooves. I wonder who else is awake at this hour.
She stood on the spot for a moment, deciding whether or not to poke her head out the window and see who it was. However, choice, it seemed, was one of the few luxuries to which Rarity was not entitled. The noise of the hooves peaked, and then died. Whoever it was had stopped right outside her house. There was a brief pause, and then several loud knocks rang through the house. They were deep and resounding, but very quick, as if something heavy was being hit against the door repeatedly. Rarity breathed a sigh of relief. Only one pony knocks like that.
"Pinkie! How lovely to see you, do come right in." Pinkie Pie stepped into the boutique, looking troubled. "Would you like some tea, my dear?"
"No thanks, Rarity. I just came by to talk to you." While not exactly upset, Pinkie's voice sounded unusually mellow. Rarity could tell that this was something to be taken seriously.
"Anything, darling, anything. Take a seat." She gestured to a puffy sofa pushed against a wall. Pinkie sat down in it silently – and correctly. Again, unusual for her.
"Well…" Pinkie seemed to be considering how to phrase her next comment. "I was just wondering…" Rarity smiled encouragingly at her. "I was just wondering if you ever hear… ponies talking."
Rarity stared, completely nonplussed. "What do you mean, 'hear ponies talking'?"
Pinkie looked like she was losing her nerve. "Well, I mean… do you ever hear ponies talking, and then you look around, and there's nopony there?"
"You mean, voices in your head?"
"Well, I suppose so." Rarity did not like this at all. Voices in her head? That's rather disturbing. I mean, I suppose it's not that surprising, coming from Pinkie. The thing that really makes me nervous is that she's worried about it.
"Well…" Now it was Rarity who was choosing her words carefully. "Well, no. Why do you ask?"
"It was this morning. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I heard somepony talking to me. And I looked around, and I couldn't see her. I had no idea where it was coming from."
"What did she say?" Pinkie furrowed her brow, now looking definitely upset.
"I… I don't remember exactly."
"And this is the first time it's ever happened?"
"Well, no. It happened once, a long time ago. About five months, I think. But I was really unhappy when it happened back then. I was in great spirits yesterday."
Rarity began to pace, thinking hard. "But why did you come to me, darling? I think Fluttershy or Twilight would be a bit more familiar with this type of thing. I mean, I'm flattered that you trust me, but this isn't exactly my area of expertise…"
"But that's just it!" exclaimed Pinkie. "I trust you more than Fluttershy or Twilight. I just need some advice, that's all." Feeling very uncomfortable, Rarity walked over to the couch and sat next to Pinkie.
"Well… I'll try to be of assistance. I suppose I'd better visit the library."
"Oh, thank you!" Seeing the familiar look of happiness return to her friend's face was reward enough for Rarity. "Thank you thank you thank you!"
"Nothing at all, Pinkie, nothing at all. Happy to help out a friend." She stood, all thoughts of hunger forgotten. She was almost out the door, when she turned and looked back at her friend. "And Pinkie. I suppose you've figured this out already, but I think it would be a good idea not to go telling everypony about this. You wouldn't want to alarm anypony." Pinkie nodded vigorously at this.
"I won't tell a soul, I promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" Rarity gave her a smile, satisfied. Pinkie would never stoop to break a Pinkie Swear.
"I'll stop by Sugarcube Corner as soon as I've got some information. Ta-ta for now, Pinkie."
"Bye-a, Rarity!"
When Rarity arrived at Twilight Sparkle's library, the day was officially under way. Still, when she knocked on the door, she was surprised to be greeted, not by Twilight, but by Spike.
"Sorry Rarity, Twilight's out," was his response to her request.
"Really?" Shouldn't Twilight be… I don't know, reading something? "Well, can I come in anyways? I just need to find a book."
"Of course, come right in!" Rarity stepped past the little dragon and into the library. "Is there anything I can help you with?"
"No, thank you," she said as she began to scan the shelves.
"Need help finding a book?"
"No, I'm fine."
"Something to eat?"
"No."
"Do you need-"
"Spike!" She cut him off. He stared up at her with eyes the size of dinner plates. Smiling, she said, "I'm fine, Spike."
He gave a deep bow and backed out of the room, saying, "If you need anything, just give me a shout."
Her mind already on other things, she called back vacantly, "Yes, yes, I will."
Twenty minutes later, she was standing outside Sugarcube Corner. The hunt had gone better than expected, and she was ready to relay her newfound information to Pinkie Pie. She strode through the door and into the bakery, which was nearly empty at this time of day. Mrs. Cake was behind the cash register.
"Hello, madam. I'd like to speak with Pinkie Pie." Mrs. Cake looked disappointed that Rarity had not come to buy sweets, but she led her up the stairs toward Pinkie's room nonetheless.
"Before you see her," said Mrs. Cake outside her door, "you should know that she's in a bit of a funny mood."
Concerned, Rarity asked, "What do you mean, 'funny'?"
"Well, you know her. Never a dull moment with Pinkamina Diane Pie!" She gave a short laugh, and then returned to speaking in hushed tones. "But, I think she's upset about something. She was just muttering to herself, and… you know…" she broke off, uncomfortably. After a moment, she said, "All I'm trying to say is, she may be a bit short with you, or act a bit odd. She's just in one of her moods, so please be patient with her."
Rarity drew herself up, and proclaimed, "Don't worry, madam. I am quite familiar with Pinkie's… many eccentricities. You can count on me."
Satisfied, Mrs. Cake returned downstairs. Rarity turned to the door. Despite her speech of moments ago, she was not entirely sure she wanted to see what was behind it. Come on, Rarity, pony up! Friendship means being there for your friends when they're at their best, and at their worst. There is nothing through that door that will prevent me from doing as a promised. And before she could think about the matter any further, she pushed the door open.
Rarity stared. It really was a sight. A large dinner table was turned on its side, facing the door. The window was boarded up, leaving only a crack to look through. Pieces of paper covered in unintelligible scribbles littered the floor.
A cheerful, slightly higher-than-usual voice sang from behind the upturned table. "Who is it?"
"Um… it's Rarity, Pinkie."
"Oh! Thank goodness it's you! I was about to drop the anvil."
"Drop the anvil? Is that some kind of euphemism?"
"Nope. Look up." Rarity did so, and saw a gigantic metal weight hanging above her head.
"Gah!" Rarity leapt out from under it, her heart beating at a mile a minute. She saw that it was held up by a rope that led across the room, supported by metal hooks attached to the ceiling. The other end of the rope was secured behind the upturned table. "That," said Rarity, "is dangerous! You might have killed me!"
"No," reassured Pinkie, her head popping up from behind the table. "It's tied really tight. It'll only drop if I want it to drop. Besides, the way you were standing, it would probably have just crushed a rib or two." Clearly under the impression that she had assuaged all of Rarity's doubts, Pinkie stepped out from behind the table, smiling. Her hair – it's limp. That's only happened once before, and she was angry as all pony hell back then. This is not a good sign.
"Well," said Rarity, her voice as nonchalant as she could make it, "I just came to give you the news."
"News?" asked Pinkie blankly. Then, realization struck. "Oh! News! Okay, let's hear it."
"Do you want the long version or the short version?"
"Just the short one please, I have a lot of work to do."
"Well, you need medication." Pinkie looked horror-struck.
"Medication! Have they poisoned me?" Rarity took a moment to answer, deciding which answer would do the least harm. I suppose I'd better just keep her happy until I can get her onto her meds and we can talk things over.
"Yes! They have poisoned you, and taking medicine is the only way to help. So, I'll put in an order at the pharmacy, and I'll have it by tomorrow."
"Excellent. And if any of them drop by, I kill them, right?"
"Um… no, I don't think that will be necessary. Maybe you can just lock the door, so they can't get in."
"I guess… but how will you give me the medicine?" This was actually a fair point, so Rarity thought for a moment.
"How about you meet me outside my boutique tomorrow at seven in the morning? I'll give you the antidote there."
"Sounds wonderful! Watch your back on the way home. They're a crafty bunch."
"I will. I promise."
On her way out of the shop, she called to Mrs. Cake, who was standing behind the counter.
"Yes, deary?" She responded.
"If I were you, I would stay out of Pinkie's way until tomorrow afternoon."
"Why? Is she okay?" Rarity hesitated, wondering if it was worth burdening her with the whole story. She decided it wasn't.
"Yes, she's fine. But… try not to let her see you, okay? Or anypony else, for that matter." Mrs. Cake nodded dutifully.
"I won't. Thank you for visiting her. I'm a little bit worried."
Rarity walked back to her house slowly, ignoring the now persistent stabs of hunger. Tomorrow. She just needs to stay out of trouble until tomorrow. Still, she was a little bit uneasy about leaving Pinkie alone. She wouldn't hurt a fly, that girl… but she's not in her right mind. And by the sound of it, anypony who gets in her way is in danger. It's hard enough keeping her out of trouble when she's acting normal. It's just… something's brewing, and it feels dangerous. She really is a magnificent creature. She seems innocent and harmless, but at times… it just seems like she possesses such power. When she's in a good mood, she uses this power to bring laughs and good times to all. When she's in a bad mood… I just hope the world is ready. A god has been angered… and her name is Pinkamina.
Rarity was so absorbed in her dramatic mental wanderings that she nearly walked past her destination. Upon looking up, she found herself standing outside the door of Quills and Sofas. The manager gave her a hopeful smile through the window, which she returned weakly before turning away. The pharmacy was directly behind her.
Her entrance into the shop was greeted by the tingling of a little silver bell. The walls were lined with shelves, most of which supported thousands of little glass bottles. In the middle of the shop stood another shelf, displaying lines of magazines and newspapers. A large, brown, tired-looking pony stood behind the cash register, his eyes drifting as he stared into space. Rarity trod delicately across the wooden floor, and approached the cashier.
"Sir?" He serenely turned his head toward her, and was slow to respond.
"Yes?" His voice was slow, and even.
"I'm here to pick up some medication, for Pinkamena Diane Pie." Again, he was slow to respond.
"Do you have a prescription?" Rarity pursed her lips, thinking. I suppose this was unavoidable. I don't have time to procure a prescription; and besides, Pinkie wouldn't cooperate anyway. So, how do I get out of this? Rarity looked directly into the eyes of the desk pony, who was waiting patiently. I've got one shot at this. Come on, Rarity. You've seen Twilight do it plenty of times. Her horn began to emit a faint aura of light. Focus! Rarity concentrated as hard as she could on what she needed. I need to get inside his head. The pony blinked, as his memory shifted about. You've seen my prescription. It's completely legitimate. He blinked again, as something clicked into place behind his eyes.
"I see. Well, I can have it to you by tomorrow. We have a shipment coming in overnight." Relieved, Rarity let go.
"That sounds absolutely lovely," she said, every word dripping with charm. "Thank you very much, sir." Looking a little bit confused, the desk pony just nodded. With a winking smile, Rarity turned and left the shop.
Day Three
Rarity woke up and skipped her morning routine. She had eaten an excessively large dinner last night, and had no desire to partake in her usual dainty breakfast. It was six thirty in the morning, early even for her. But she had work to do.
She raced downstairs and through the door, out onto the dirt path leading to Ponyville square. She didn't exactly need to run, but being late to her meeting with Pinkie would certainly not be a good idea. She arrived at her destination only five minutes later. The pharmacy was empty at this time of day, which suited her nicely in more ways than one. There'll be no line at all! And I'm sure I must look a mess, having run all the way here. Lucky nopony's around to see.
She walked up to the counter, which was stationed with a large, tired looking pony.
"Excuse me, sir?" He looked up, and caught sight of Rarity. He smiled and nodded in recognition.
"You here to pick up the order you put in yesterday?" He seemed to have decided that there was nothing suspicious about her. Rarity nodded. "Well, I'm sorry, but it's not in yet." She stared at him, outraged.
"But I was promised that it would be here by morning!"
"It was going to be," he said, completely unfazed by the unicorn shouting at him. "But it got delayed. There's been a hiccup in the cloud-clearing department, and it couldn't get through."
"But…" Rarity was getting desperate. I knew it! I knew it wouldn't be this easy! Not when Pinkie's involved. "Surely you have a backup supply, or something. I really need it now."
"I'm sorry," said the counter pony, in his maddeningly calm voice. "You'll just have to wait. It should be here by tomorrow morning."
Rarity was tempted to continue shouting at him, but time was ticking on. I have to meet up with Pinkie, anyways. I've just got to keep her out of trouble for one more day. What could possibly go wrong? As she sprinted back home, her mind reeled with ways this could go wrong.
As she neared her home, she slowed to a walk. Pinkie was due to arrive at any minute. And when she was nearly at the door, she spotted somebody coming towards her from the opposite direction. Good. At the very least, she made it here. But fate would not grant her even this small victory; for as the figure got nearer, it was increasingly obvious that it was not Pinkie. It was Applejack.
"Rarity!" she called out. Rarity began to walk faster, and they came within speaking distance quickly. Why now? Why today, of all days? I need to get her out of here, fast.
"Hello, Applejack." She managed her tone carefully, trying to sound busy, but not overly rude. She glanced about. No sign on Pinkie.
"Howdy, Rarity. You okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine! Just fine, thank you for asking. How are you? Good? Great. Well, nice catching up with you, I'm sure you have a lot to do. Have a good day!" She ran to her door, and slammed it shut. Panting, she turned the lock and charged upstairs. Only once she had entered the safety of her room did she take a moment to catch her breath. She heard Applejack shouting something, and knocking hard on the door. Please, she begged to herself. Please, just turn around and go home. Another series of knocks hit the door, which Rarity ignored as hard as she could.
She waited, but there were no more knocks. Okay, she's given up. Now we've just got to wait for Pinkie. Rarity proceeded downstairs and pushed the door open, praying that she would see Pinkie sitting calmly outside, waiting for her.
Rarity screamed. Applejack was lying facedown in the dirt, bleeding copiously. Pinkie was sitting on top of her, her teeth digging into Applejack's shoulder. "Pinkie!"
Rarity dived forward, and knocked Pinkie to the ground. She flailed about, landing a sharp jab on Rarity's cheek. It stung, but she maintained her focus. She wrapped an arm around Pinkie's throat, and held her against the dirt. She sputtered, and tried to pry Rarity's arm away, but to no avail. Her eyes bulged, and her whole body convulsed under Rarity's. Then, she was still.
Rarity panted for a moment on top of Pinkie's unmoving body. She's worse than I thought. I'll have to keep her locked up. She dismounted the unconscious pony, and turned to look over at Applejack. Dear Celestia. Applejack was stirring slightly. One of her back legs was bent at a horrible angle, and her shoulder was dripping with blood where Pinkie had bit it. She was covered in cuts, and looked horribly dazed. She slowly rose to her feet, swaying a little. She can't know about Pinkie. If it gets out that she's attacking ponies, there'll be a lot of paperwork to go through.
"Go home. Go home, and don't tell anypony about this!" Applejack just stared blankly.
"But… what…"
"I'll tell you later! For now, just go home." She winced at the harshness in her own words, but she steadied her resolve. There'll be time for sympathy later.
"Okay…"
"You won't tell anypony about this."
"I won't…"
"Promise!"
"I promise… I promise I won't tell."
Rarity looked her over. As she looked, her ferocity melted into sympathy. She furrowed her brow, looking devastated.
"You're hurt. Ooh, I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen."
"Did she… why did she do it? Is she dead?"
"Go home, Applejack. I promise I'll explain later." Applejack. You've always been a stubborn one. But please, please, just trust me now. Applejack nodded, and turned. She took one step towards home, and crumpled.
"Here, let me…" Rarity offered a hoof to Applejack. She took it, and pulled herself up. Slowly, she began to walk home, holding her injured leg off the ground. She didn't look back. Rarity stared after her, guilt swimming about in her stomach. This is my fault. I shouldn't have let Pinkie out of my sight for a moment. Well, I won't make that mistake again. If I hadn't intervened, Applejack might have been killed. As is, she'll probably need the hospital. I wish I could walk with her, but I have work to do.
Rarity hoisted Pinkie up onto her back, and carried her inside. Several times, she nearly tripped on her dangling tail and mane as she brought her up the stairs. Pinkie was lighter than Rarity would have expected, considering the fact that she subscribed to the 'impulse eater' school of thought, but her skin felt unnervingly cold against Rarity's, like that of a corpse. Had she not felt a steady pulse beating against her back, Rarity might have thought her dead.
She let Pinkie fall in a heap in the middle of her bedroom. I guess this'll have to do. She worked quickly, boarding up the window with wooden planks and removing all sharp objects from the room. She had until Pinkie woke up to turn this fashion designer's bedroom into an asylum cell.
When the room looked suitably barren, Rarity shut the door. Unfortunately, there was no way to lock it from the outside. Well… I guess I have no choice, then. She ran downstairs to retrieve some supplies: a magazine, a plate of food and a roll of fabric. When she returned upstairs, she got to work immediately, ripping strips of fabric off and stuffing them into the cracks around the edge of the door and into the keyhole. Once she sealing job was complete, she took a step back to admire her work. Well, that's not bad. At the very least, it will muffle the sound. Finally, her preparations complete, she settled down in front of the door. It was going to be a long wait.
Pinkie came to some time around three P.M. Rarity hoped that she wouldn't make a fuss, but as someone who had known Pinkie for years, she knew that this wasn't remotely likely. Sure enough, the attacks began at four o'clock. The first one took her completely by surprise, and she was nearly thrown away from the door. Quickly regaining her composure, Rarity dug her hooves into the carpet and braced herself. Pinkie slammed against the door again, and it jumped on its hinges. I hope, thought Rarity as she gritted her teeth against the impact, she gets tired soon. I'll never be able to read my magazine with all this ruckus. Pinkie was unrelenting, beating against Rarity's barricade for at least half an hour. Rarity lost track of the time after that. Eventually, she seemed to give up, and Rarity took the opportunity to eat the lunch she had prepared.
For the rest of day, Pinkie stopped trying to break the door down. However, little scraping and banging sounds kept coming from inside, which were beginning to make Rarity nervous. What in Equestria is she doing in there? Probably building a weapon of mass destruction out of a toothpick and the dust bunnies under my bed. I'd check on her, but I don't think it'd be a good idea to open a dialogue at this stage. I've just got to last until morning. Unfortunately, this presented a conundrum: how to keep the door closed overnight. I suppose she'll fall asleep at some point. But I can't risk letting my guard down for a minute. I don't have anything to block the door with, so that idea's out. I guess my only choice is to sit here all night. If I drift off for a moment, she'll get out. It's time to employ some of my legendary willpower; I'm going to have to stay up until morning.
It turned out to be a good decision. At around three in the morning, Pinkie threw herself at the door once again. Rarity, who had been slowly losing consciousness, was jolted back to full awareness. Pinkie had clearly been trying to catch her napping, and she went back to sitting in silence after this failed attempt. Rarity was bored out of her mind, and several times had to shake herself to keep from dozing off. Keep it together, Rarity. Just until morning. However, another issue presented itself at this thought: how am I going to collect the shipment? If I leave to get it, Pinkie will escape. This problem was most unwelcome, as problems are wont to be, and so she put it out of her mind. I'll think about it when the time comes. Right now, I have to devote my full attention to keeping the little maniac in her cage.
Now now, Rarity, she chided herself. She's still your friend. And as soon as she's on her meds, that'll be the end of this. So, put up with this for a little bit longer. Her only indication that time was moving on was that her house was slowly getting brighter. See? It might have been worse, thought Rarity weakly as she watched the sun rise above the horizon. But she was faint with both exhaustion and hunger. I really need to get out of here soon.
Day Four
Wham! Rarity jumped in surprise, and pressed herself against the door. She wasn't sure if she had fallen asleep or not, but she was certainly awake now. Pinkie had made another bid for freedom, and she had very nearly succeeded. Before she could fully get a hold on her thoughts, there was another wham, followed by knocking. Oh no, she groaned internally. Somepony's at the door. This won't be easy.
Rarity closed her eyes, and a purple glow appeared around her horn. She willed the doorknob to turn, and a click coming from downstairs told her that it had.
"Come iiiiinnnn!" she shouted. "Welcome to Carousel Boutique. How may I be of service?" A voice called back to her from the stairwell.
"Uh, Rarity? It's me, Rainbow Dash." Good, I won't have to deal with a customer.
"Rainbow! Lovely to see you."
"Oh, do you see me? Because I don't see you."
"Ah, touché! I am upstairs at the moment, but if you want to talk with me, I'm sure we can just continue in this manner."
"Well, I'd really rather come up and see you. It's not the sort of thing I want to shout about." I'm not sure I should let her up here… but I don't have much choice, do I?
"Oh… well, yes! Of course, come right up!" Footsteps came from downstairs, and a moment later Rainbow's multicolored head poked around a corner.
"Why hello, Rainbow!"
"Hi Rarity. Um… what are you doing?" Rarity had an answer prepared.
"Oh, well, you see, a squirrel has gotten into my boutique. It's trapped in this room. I'm holding the door shut so it can't get out."
Rainbow looked suitably taken in. "Have you called the exterminators?"
"Yes, they're on their way. Until they get here, I'm just sitting here."
"Oh. Well, if…"
Wham! The noise of something very heavy falling sounded throughout the house, and the door on which Rarity was leaning shook on its hinges. Rarity jumped, but remained in place.
"What…", asked Rainbow, panting from the unexpected shock, "was that?"
"It must have been trying to get out."
"That must be a gigantic squirrel! Are you sure you don't need help?"
"No, no, I'll be fine. Now, what did you want to talk to me about?" Rarity needed to move the conversation along. I have to get her out of here before she starts getting suspicious. Although… a new thought struck her. Maybe I could ask her to pick up the medication from the pharmacy. But… no, that wouldn't work. She'd want to know why I need them. I should keep this whole matter as quiet as possible.
"Oh… I wanted to ask you if you would be interested in doing me a favor."
"Would it involve leaving this house?"
"Well, yes, it would, but not today."
"When?"
"Tomorrow."
"Then no can do, darling. I'm sorry, but I'm going to be very busy for a while." Of course, that's not exactly true, is it? But still, I'd rather not commit to anything until this whole Pinkie situation had been wrapped up, neat and tidy. Remember: No loose ends.
"Oh. Well, okay. Thanks anyway."
"Oh, no trouble at all. Hope it turns out well!"
"I'm sure it will. And I hope you take care of your squirrel." You and me both, darling.
Rainbow said good-bye, and took off down the stairs. Rarity watched her go, wondering whether she'd made the right choice. But no – it's better this way. I'll talk it over with Pinkie once she stops trying to bludgeon me to death.
So! What are we going to do? If I run like all pony hell, getting the medication will take about ten minutes. I just need to make sure she won't try to escape for ten minutes. I suppose it isn't likely that she's fallen asleep since ninety seconds ago. Rarity pulled a little wad of fabric out of the keyhole, and stuck her eye right up to it. She could see Pinkie, who was lying in her bed. She'd better not do anything to those sheets – I have to sleep there! Pinkie wasn't moving. Her eyes were closed, but the rest of her face was veiled underneath her long, flowing mane. The moment I walk into that room, her eyes are going to open suddenly. I just know it. Standard horror movie style: See murderous antagonist. Approach murderous antagonist, thinking she's asleep. Then, bam! Insides all over the wall behind you.
Rarity had many undesirable qualities. She was sarcastic, self-confident, proud and disdainful. But she wasn't a coward. She removed all of the fabric from the doorframe, moving quickly to ensure she didn't have a sudden change of heart. As soon as she had finished, she took a deep breath, and pulled open the door.
Pinkie didn't stir. Rarity approached cautiously, ready to pounce if she showed any signs of dramatic movement. Rarity leaned in close, her face right next to Pinkie's. She could feel her charge's lukewarm breath on her cheek. It was slow, and rhythmic. I don't trust her. I really don't trust her. But she wasn't sure she had a choice. Rarity turned away, and slowly walked to the door. When she was nearly out, she whipped around. Pinkie was still in bed, just as she had been before. Rarity ran.
It felt like there was a buzz saw slicing at the inside of her chest as she sprinted toward town. Having gone from sitting in front of a door all night to running as fast as she could remember was dizzying, and she had to pause for a few seconds outside the pharmacy for fear of blacking out. For a moment, the idea of succumbing to the darkness gathering at the edges of her vision was tempting. Maybe… I should just fall asleep… let somepony else handle it… haven't slept all night… deserve a break… but no. Keep it together Rarity, and you can end this before it begins. No loose ends.
Five minutes later, she was moving through her front door by way of a jerky, non-committal cross between a run and a walk. A run would move her fast. A walk would move her quietly. She needed to go fast, quietly. However, it proved not to matter. She was holding the little bottle of pills in her mouth as she climbed the stairs. Well, the time has come. Time to find out if this is the end of the book, or just the end of chapter one. Here we go. Rarity's hoof found the second landing, and she pulled herself up. She walked down the hallway to where the open door was embedded in the wall, and she felt a mounting excitement building in her chest. Let's see it then. She rounded the corner, and looked into her room.
I couldn't tell you why I expected anything different, even for a moment. Rarity's bed was empty. I suppose it isn't like likely that she's under the covers. However, as she stepped into the room and looked about, her dryness began to chill over into fear. That was irresponsible. I thought that maybe, just maybe, things would go my way. But now she's loose, and I have to find her before she does some real damage. Rarity was exhausted, but she had work to do. She can't have gone too far; she's probably somewhere in town. All I have to do is find her.
She packed quickly, filling her saddlebags with water, snacks, and Pinkie's medication. I'll search the entire town; she has to be somewhere. And once I find her, maybe I can finally get some sleep. When she reached town, everyone was going about their days as usual. If she makes a scene, somepony may get hurt; and that somepony may be me. But if she doesn't, finding her could take all day. Well, I've got to start somewhere. So… Sugarcube Corner would be a natural first choice. Onward!
Upon entering the bakery, she found Mrs. Cake standing behind the cash register.
"Excuse me, madam?" She looked up, and smiled at the sight of Rarity standing in the door.
"Hello, Rarity. Are you here to see Pinkie?" Her heart leapt. I didn't expect it to be this easy.
"Yes, I am. Is she in?"
"I'm sorry, you just missed her. She came in a few minutes ago, but she left quickly. I don't know where she is."
"Alright." She wasn't too disappointed, as she had never really gotten her hopes up in the first place. "Do you happen to know if she took the balloon?"
"No, it's right out back."
"Okay. Thank you very much." Rarity left the shop.
So, she's not at Rainbow's and she's not at Sugarcube Corner. Where else might she have run off to?
For the next few hours, Rarity searched everywhere in Ponyville she could think of. As the day wore on, she became increasingly panicky, increasingly exhausted and therefore increasingly sloppy. By the time it was nearing the end of the day, Rarity was stumbling. She had started with Applejack's barn, a likely choice for Pinkie if she wanted to, "Tie up a loose end". Upon entering, she found Applejack lying on a makeshift bed in the middle of the room, looking noticeably scraped up but well bandaged. Fluttershy and Big Mac were sleeping next to each other on the floor. However, the path of destruction that usually followed Pinkie around was absent.
After that, Rarity ran to Twilight's tree, and a quick glance through a window showed that all of the books in her library were still on their shelves. Nope, Pinkie hasn't been here. After that, she checked Fluttershy's house, and then the town square, and then Lotus and Aloe's. But there was absolutely no sign of Pinkie anywhere. Stay calm, Rarity. At least nopony's died yet. As far as I know. But staying calm wasn't exactly Rarity's forte, and she felt little parasprites dancing in her stomach as she checked more and more places. Pinkie was nowhere to be found.
I've done it. I've really done it now. Rarity trudged back to her home as soon as the sun had set, deciding that no more progress was going to be made tonight. I'll just have to tell them. This has gotten out of my hooves. If Pinkie's on the loose, and she's prepared to attack somepony else, I need to let my friends know. Rarity opened her front door, barely even caring that it was strangely unlocked. She was just too tired. A night of no sleep and a day of sprinting around town had taken its toll on the pathetic, saggy pony whose reflection danced on a piece of broken glass lying on the floor. I just need some rest. She plodded up the stairs, and was heartened by the sight of her bedroom door. I'll think about it more once I get some sleep… too tired right now. She yawned loudly, closing her eyes as she rounded the corner into the familiar room. When she opened them again, all that mattered was that her bed was lying in front of her. And as she approached its inviting warmth, she heard the sound of a door slamming shut behind her. She turned around.
Pinkamina Diane Pie was standing in the doorway. Rarity blacked out.
Day Five
Rarity woke up in the last place she would have expected: her own bed. Well, I'm not dead. That's nice, I suppose. Rarity was in no rush to sit up. Might as well savor this comfort while I can. Eventually, she decided that it was time to get back to work. She sat up slowly, and looked around her room. Her door was still closed and her window still boarded up. She got out of bed, and gave the door a tentative push. It swung open.
When Rarity had searched her house thoroughly, she decided that Pinkie definitely wasn't still there. She must have taken off. Awful considerate of her to tuck me in, though. Actually, kind of creepy. Glad I was unconscious.
After eating a hasty breakfast, she walked out her front door. It was clearly late in the morning; the sun was shining bright in the sky, and birds were chirping from the path-side tree. It didn't look like anybody was around.
Wham! Rarity was knocked off her hooves, and tumbled around in the dirt. She recovered quickly, and jumped to her feet, expecting to see a flash of pink hoof at any moment. However, upon looking around, she found not a pink pony, but a gray pegasus shaking herself off.
"Sor-ry!" she sang, wiping dirt out of her eyes. Rarity gave a little grunt by way of response, relaxing slightly. "I brought you a letter!"
The pegasus, who was holding a slightly battered letter in her mouth, trotted over to Rarity. She looked like a dog retrieving a bone for its master, as she spit the package at her feet. Rarity picked it up without a word, and walked back toward her house.
"Doncha wanna open it?" asked the expectant pegasus.
"Go suck an egg, Derpy."
"Don't call me Derpy." Taken completely by surprise, Rarity looked over her shoulder. Ditzy Doo wasn't angry, but her mis-matched eyes seemed to have grown twice as large. "People always call me Derpy. I don't like it. My name's Ditzy."
"Excuse me. Go suck an egg, Ditzy. I'm rather busy right now." And with that, Rarity proceeded inside.
When people talk about the five steps of grief, they are generally referring to Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. However, Rarity had a slightly different process. She began with Dry Wit, then moved on to Rational Thinking, and then descended into Panic, then seamlessly into Anger, and then came around to Dry Wit again. Acceptance was not necessary, as whatever the problem was generally fixed itself within a few days. At that point, they would all have a group hug and everything would be back to normal, ready for the next big adventure in a few more days. At the moment, Rarity was moving out of Panic and had arrived at Anger.
"Menace to society…" grumbled Rarity as she washed her hair for the third time. "Decent people trying to live their lives… watch where she's going…. Dumb dirt!" When she finally decided that her hair was presentable (i.e., glossier than a newly washed car), she was ready to continue her hunt.
I suppose it's a good sign that she didn't kill me, thought Rarity as she walked down the path toward town. Maybe it means she isn't prepared to kill anypony. Or maybe it means she just won't kill me. At this thought, she was reminded of what was at stake, and began to trot faster. Panic was beginning to flicker within her again, as it often did at this point. I'll give the town a once-over, and if I still can't find her, I'll get help. That's reasonable.
However, Rarity knew it was hopeless. She walked around town, looking down all of the side alleys in the hopes of seeing Pinkie lurking in the shadows. But nothing came of it, and Rarity began to panic once again. She got into my house, she thought as she ran around town, looking about wildly. If she got into my house, she can get into anypony else's. Nopony's safe anymore.
This would never have happened if the cloud-clearing department had done their job. When this is over, I'm gonna give Rainbow a piece of my mind! And that moment, something caught her eye in the middle of the town square. Rainbow Dash was crouching on the ground, about to rocket into the air.
"Rainbow! Rainbow Dash, wait!" Rainbow flew upwards, but heard her cry and hovered in the air, looking around. She spotted Rarity, and flew down next to her.
"Hey Rarity, what's up?"
"Rainbow, what's been going on?"
"What do you mean?" asked a perplexed Rainbow Dash.
"The clouds! They're not being cleared properly!"
"Well, I've been taking the week off. Why do you care…"
"Why have you taken the week off!" Rarity was almost shouting now. Honestly, taking the week off. The cloud-clearing department exists for a reason!
"Well… it was because I wanted to talk to Twilight, and she wouldn't come out of her house. Rarity, what's going on?"
"Twilight! She's doomed us all!"
"Rarity, what are you…" but Rarity was already galloping off.
There's one more place to check. It's not likely, but I have to make sure. Rarity was running towards Ponyville Central – the local hospital. It came into view quickly. It was a towering, rectangular building, with small rectangular windows. Its walls were an expanse of whiteness, broken only by large red words above the door: Ponyville Central.
It was not a particularly inviting place, but at the very least it was professional looking. She may have been caught already, and brought in. Unlikely, but I must leave no stone unturned. Rarity strode through the door and into the waiting room. She made a beeline for the medical pony standing behind the help desk. Looking up at the sound of walking hooves, she addressed Rarity in a bored voice.
"Hello, welcome to Ponyville Central."
"Hello. Could you please tell me if there is a Miss Pie on your records?"
"One moment, please." The pony spun around in her swivel chair, and began typing at an old fashioned computer. "Pie… Pie… Yes, we do."
"Really?" Rarity had not been expecting that. I had no idea it would be this easy.
"Yes, really. Jane Pie."
"Jane Pie?" Rarity was utterly perplexed. A relative of Pinkie's? But… she never told me….
"Yes, Jane Pie," said the pony, sounding irritated now. "What do you want, her life's story?"
"Yes, I'd love that." It was true. Exasperated, the pony turned back to her computer and pushed a button.
"Well, here's all we have: She was brought in exactly four months ago today, as it happens, by her sister, Octavia Pie. This was because, quote, 'She's hearing voices in her head'. Then, Jane went berserk. She grabbed a knife, smashed it over a vial of dragon venom, and attacked her sister. After that, she made a break for it. Outside the doors, she assaulted a bystanding pegasus. The pegasus, yellow body and pink hair, flew away before she could be identified. Jane was tackled, and sent to Canterlot Asylum, where she currently resides. Octavia made a full recovery, and was released from Ponyville Central a two months later. The whereabouts of the attacked pegasus are unknown."
Rarity stared. This new information was overwhelming her. Pinkie had two sisters that she never told us about. And one of them… one of them was insane. And… that couldn't have been Fluttershy… could it? Wait… what? Eventually, she found words.
"Were there criminal charges?" The desk pony snorted.
"What, for Jane? The trial would have been a joke. She was completely batty, poor filly. She's been put on medication, but she has been deemed 'a menace to society' by the good folks over at Canterlot. She'll probably live in that asylum 'till her dying day."
"Thank you." Rarity turned, and walked away.
If I don't find Pinkie soon, everypony is going to suffer for it. Pinkie's going to be locked up, I'm going to be blamed for not turning her in, and whatever poor creature gets in her way is going to be flattened. The sun was beginning to set as Rarity proceeded towards home. Tomorrow, I'm going to round everypony up, and the hunt will begin. We need to find Pinkie before the law can – I know she's a good pony. I've been friends with her for years. And Ponyville wouldn't be the same without her, that's for sure.
Rarity arrived at her home a few minutes later. She was careful this time, checking behind her every few steps as she ascended the stairs. I'm ready this time. She won't sneak up on me today. Come on, Pinkie. Rarity's ready for you! But her taunts were wasted. After she slipped off her saddlebags and climbed into bed, glancingaround all the while, it became clear that there would be no ambush this time. Well, let's get a good night's sleep, thought Rarity as she yawned widely. You've got a big day ahead of you, and you'll want to be full of energy, just like Pinkie. If you want to catch a crazy, you've got to think like a crazy. Well, that won't be too difficult for my friends. And as the darkness solidified before her eyes, she smiled to herself. There's the dry wit.