Chapter 2: second day

Bird with broken wings can't fly. Bird with no wish to fly,break your wings.

* Monday

Gai was distant. Yelling his name wouldn't work, his fight was not easy at all. Neji was the closest one, but fighting against ,any clones couldn't help me.

I ripped my sleeve and tried to stop the bleeding. With that chaos I was desperate and didn't see the enemy coming.

" Tenten!" – I heard Neji calling me in panic.

Worried, i turned around already attacking that anything that made Neji scream my name. I left Lee and, without second thoughts threw a weapon that got my enemy's head with strength. When everything stopped, my world seemed to be sucked to a horrible place.

His body was already over mine.

XXXXX

I was on my bed and didn't move my body even an inch. One more time, those nightmares woke me up.

This time it was still night, maybe I should watch the moon go away and wait for the sun to show up.

Some minutes later my eyes were still wide open. My mind started bringing back those thoughts, that became good and bad memories, until it stops on the most recent and the only one I liked: the memory of Neji talking to me again.

His stuck gaze and his cold and melodic voice were in my mind as if Neji himself was there repeating his words: - "Come."

Still in bed, looking at my roof, i tried to understand him and also get to sleep again.

Neji spent one year without talking to me, not even one word. In the first days, I arrived in his house, said hello and tried to make a dialogue. But after one month of failing tries, I got mute like him.

Even with him ignoring my presence, there was not even one day when I didn't go there to see him. I needed to see him…always.

I don't know why he broke the silence, but I was expecting and had a lot of hope that that was a sign of forgiveness. Neji had never said anything to accuse me about that day, but his silence was enough to make me know I was the one to blame. That's why I created hope when he talked to me again.

When Neji left team Gai, the team was over. I didn't get any mission, I was stuck because of my fear and guilt. I went to the Hokage and asked to go out the ninja corporation myself.

I couldn't fight anymore, not when I knew that because of me Neji couldn't as well. My hands had never taken a weapon again and my eyes never focused on an aim. I took Neji's vision away and, in a masochistic move, I've forbidden myself to see.

Lee never stopped believing, just like Gai, in me and neither in Neji. He was now training a group of Gennin, under the constant look of Gai

The memories of the chaos I'd lived in this last year made me fall asleep. The last I could remember was the sound of Neji's voice telling me: "- Come."

XXXXX

The sun woke me up and i got out of bed ready to start my ritual of every day. The not so bad night I had was not enough to set me free from the sore in my muscles or from the pain in my heart that came to me every morning.

I wasn't surprised by the sun shining brightly outside,as usual. I held myself in this energy and made my way to Neji's house,as I've done in this last one year. And, as usual, the closer I got to his house, the less my heart seemed to beat.

It didn't take to long for me to get there, facing the big door to his garden. Usually, I'd have a sit by his side would let our silence kill me slowly. But it was not what I did, actually I did nothing.

I didn't know if I should start trying a conversation or if I should just wait for the miracle again.

I simply walked 'till where he was, in silence. I stopped many times during the way, it seemed to help me. Or maybe those were just stops and nothing more.

" You're late." – it was the first sentence i heard as soon as i put one foot in his space. I don't know since when he knew I was there.

" Good morning, Neji. How are you? " – the smile of my friendly try that was in my face went away in the moment I realized how stupid was my question.

Of course he was not okay. And I, better than anyone else, should know that. It was my fault.

" I'm sorry. " – was the most I could say, trying to make my stupidity look smaller.

" I'm fine. Come on, Tenten, you can't grow taller anymore. Have a sit." – even with the blindness, Neji seemed to see everything around him perfectly.

With my head down, with no courage to look at him, I was still trying to get used to his voice. My legs shivered when I heard him saying my name.

" I'm fine like this." – i tried but i couldn't get my voice loud. My body was shivering.

" I may be blind but I'm not dumb, Tenten. I know by your voice that your are not okay at all. I bet you are shivering." – I couldn't help a surprised exclamation. My eyes got wide open and I stared at his face, visibly fearful with the truth.

Neji, as I expected, was looking ahead. His face was always in this direction.

After his words, with an obedience i didn't know i had, i took a sit by his side. My eyes couldn't get away his face for even one second. If I was afraid of looking at him before, now I was afraid of not doing it.

I said nothing, waiting for him to continue what he started. Waiting for him to finish the words I needed to hear… words that didn't come.

" I am trying, Neji. But your behavior changed all of a sudden, and I had fantasized about this for so long that now I don't know what to do or what to say."

" If you prefer, I can stop speaking again."

" No! " i said urgently. He seemed to have fun with my lack of calm. His face held a funny expression for one moment, but it was gone as fast as it came. His spirit was dark.

" I don't like it, Tenten. " – I looked at him full of doubts. – "I lost the vision and you're blind?" – the guilt burned again around all my body.

Tears came to my eyes, and I truly wanted to take my eyes off and give them to him.

" I'm sorry. Please, Neji, forgive me." – pronounce his name looked like a crime. It came cutting my throat, letting a bitter taste in my tongue. But I had to say it.

" Stop saying you're sorry, Tenten! Back off. You're not the victim in here." - i stopped breathing and realized Neji got his eyes closed, his hands too. He seemed frustrated, impatient.

More tears in my eyes and my mouth dried. His voice sounded unfair, but the truth in it was what I was scared of.

" It's not what I mean, Neji. I am just trying… " - I couldn't finish. My voice broke and I stopped before my tears took the control.

He could had made me feel everything at once the day he opened his eyes and his world, which was also mine, was dark.

Neji got up, taking his gaze with him. I stared at his perfectly straight posture, waiting for his next move. With a heavy sigh, he looked aside.

.

" When i left Team Gai, i left a Weapon Mistress. And instead of being visited by her, I've been visited by a scared and weak little girl. I thought I'd push you away with my silence, I thought I'd set you free to live your life and become what you promised yourself you'd become: a ninja as strong as the legendary Tsunade." – as he spoke, my mind pulled those old memories that were behind the recent and unpleasant ones. The ones that were hurting me.

The person he talked to seemed to be sleeping inside of me and his words woke her up, but she didn't wake up to complain and fight for her space. Neji's words woke her up and she was hurt, also judging me guilty.

" But you didn't Tenten. You got stuck on me, dying slowly, lost in the darkness that was supposed to be only mine. If I'm here with you now, it's not because I like this someone you became, but because I want to bring the woman you used to be back." – the control I tried to have around Neji was slowly leaving, and more than ever I felt like Neji described: a scared and weak little girl.

" I'm thankful for being blind, so I can't see your self destruction. But unfortunately I can feel you, Tenten. And I'll rescue you from this one you became if it means you'll wake up."

My throat got cramped immediately and all my functions stopped at the same time. For the first time, Neji's face was straight in my direction and, for the first time, eye to eye I could see how bad it was not having Neji reading my soul as a simple book. The injuries of Neji's blindness were worse than I thought.

To be continued...