A debt of words…
Ugh, it's bright… Where am I now? I'm in a nice bed, for starters. Okay that's good…
Oh right, now I remember. Garbage Town. The one in the valley. One really good market; one terribly bad odor in the air. That stink better not get into my clothes again. At least the autumn chill should help—
"Oh lovely, so you're up then, young man?"
Holy shit! What the fuck? "Ah… yes, I just woke up." What is with this lady? How does she always spring up when I least expect it and make me jump out of my skin? Since when is an old lady stealthy enough to creep up on me? And wait… did she really need to walk in on me when I'm half-dressed, and in bed? …Even if it is hers…
"Do join us for breakfast, if you will. We'll be dining at eight o'clock."
"Yes, thank you, ma'am. I'll be there shortly."
"Excellent. I'll shut the door behind me on my way out for your privacy, dear." What, now she cares about privacy? Arrgh! I hate not being able to speak freely!
I'm lucky to be here though. What I did for them was not really anything that big and yet they insist on providing me with a comfortable stay if ever I pass through this town. Even with no warning. And in the middle of the night. And they even give me spare clothes and feed the mice. These people know not to dole out ill-considered, half-assed charity like…
I could easily, easily do much worse for room and board than to stay here with this family. No, not that word, too. Another, maybe? Kin… tribe… relatives… No!
Forget it! Just get dressed already. Wash your face.
Is it like this for others, too? I didn't say a word when I bounced that thief out of the shop downstairs. In fact I made him shut up about his stupid demands. But could there be more power in the force of a word— in language— than he could ever feel from my fists, or from the threat of my knife against his throat? Could the pain be worse?
Maybe it matters where the words come from. I built part of my life on studying them; on memorising them, absorbing their meaning, reciting and singing them; on bringing them to life on the stage. Even the savages and brutes in that theatre audience shared in laughter, tears, and the strength of Shakespeare's verses. Borrowed grandeur.
My parents' advice nourished and sustained me. That old woman, shot and bleeding to death, on her deathbed… her warning became my armor. My sharp tongue has been my sword. And now there is just one other living person whose words have ever held any real meaning for me.
Six years ago, he asked me if I understood the word "treatment." I thought I knew. It was supposed to mean "deceit," or "betrayal," so I kept on guard. But his words pierced my armor. They made me laugh, and they challenged what I thought I knew about residents of No. 6.
I don't think this place is perfect…
He meant what he said about No. 6. He wouldn't have been helping me, otherwise. And his straightforward and defenseless "treatment," was actual medical care. (Far from the half-assed charity I criticised him for later on…) Believing in his words just a little back then saved me and gained me my freedom. Believing in his words four years later, however…
I'm drawn to you … There's no one I'm more afraid of losing than you …
It felt like I was walking into a trap. I couldn't respond one way or another. But why?
Two years ago, I was laughing at him for waiting two years to have the sex he could have had then, with that girl Safu. Now she's gone. it's too late for him to keep that promise. In half a year it'll be two years since last I saw him. And I have a promise to keep as well…
It's breakfast time. They'll be expecting their mealtime entertainment. The unspoken other reason they like to have me stay. Well at least I don't have to put on makeup. Shall it be a song or a soliloquy this time? Hmm… I think I feel like making my grand entrance as Macbeth today;
"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time…"
I'm still not done repaying you, am I, Shion? I'm burdened with the debt of words you spoke to me. There are words I owe you in return.