Tears and Laughter

"Just when I thought everyone was gone, someone's ringing at the door! Oh wait— oh my goodness, could it be… Wait right there, sweetheart. My heart's going a mile a minute now myself, but I can only imagine how you must feel. I'll check who it is." She was right. I couldn't look… but I could listen.

"Rikiga-san! Umm… d-did you forget something?" Uh oh. Poor mom.

"Why yes, my favourite hat. Ah, Karan… sometimes it's like you can read my mind—"

"Stay right there. I think I remember seeing it— Just behind here, or maybe…"

"Karan. I'll never forget that time when you—" Well he's drunk. Maybe I should have answered the door. But we thought it might actually be her… and I'm…

It would be just like her to give me a card. I saw little actual handwriting before living in the West Block. And none was on real paper. I'll never forget that big folding paper map Nezumi had somehow procured to help us find Rikiga's old place. How old and worn it looked. The way he'd marked it up with his graceful flourishes. He made simple sets of characters as plain as "LK-3000" look gorgeous.

But this tight, precise handwriting with the occasional modest loop or swirl at the end of a line or sentence… it does remind me of her. Earnest, calm, quiet on the surface— but underneath; a passionate vitality and cheerfulness reserved only for the ones closest to her.

Dear Shion,

Happy birthday! It's been a very long time. Recognise my writing? Real handwriting was rare for us, growing up in No. 6, but I know you've seen mine. I guess you'll be shocked to read this, but I want you to know I'm alive and well. I've been set free, with her blessings.

I couldn't celebrate your last birthday with you, but I'd like to give you something now. I'll drop by to give it to you later on. Hope you're there!

I've missed you,

xoxo

Safu

PS: Sorry to slip this note under your door at the last minute like this, but I thought it might be best this way, under the circumstances.

An old-fashioned birthday card discovered during breakfast time has made a real mess of me today. (More than some would say is usual for me, anyway.) But it's so very like Safu. The most rational option. She'd believe a note under the door in the morning was the logical choice. One day of stress is better than weeks, months, or a surprise visit with no warning at all.

She wouldn't want to join a party full of people she didn't know, either. So she wouldn't have come yet… not that it stopped me from being on edge very time the door chimes rang. But if it's really her— if she's alive, and I can see her— this will be one of my best birthdays ever. Almost like the day I met—

"That Rikiga's finally left now. It's just you and me, Shion. How are you doing? Did you enjoy the party?"

"Mom…" I'm still overwhelmed. I could forget about it when there were guests here to keep me occupied, but now… Am I going to cry? What if she doesn't come?

Will I have to spend my nights watching for both of them?

Mom's embracing me… she's warm. "I know. It's still very hard for me to believe, too. My, you must be afraid to get your hopes up. But whatever happens, I'm going to be here for you. You know that, right?"

"Yes." So why do I feel so awful?

"Well, you're not just scared. That I can tell. You're not just nervous. You also feel… guilty." She used to do that when I was younger too; figuring out my feelings by squeezing me in a hug. It's still so comforting, the way she strokes the back of my head. But now I'm taller. When I open my eyes, I can see the streaks of white and grey that have begun to appear in mom's hair. Like my hair… and his eyes.

"Yes. We— I couldn't protect or save her…" But it's not only that. There's more.

"I know. But you boys, and your friends— even Rikiga— you all risked your lives. You and three people who were strangers to her. You did everything you possibly could. When I realised you were trying to go rescue her yourself… I was… I still consider it such a miracle to have you with me now." Strangers? Miracle? "Oh I just realised— Shion, is the thought of seeing her again making you think of…"

"Nezumi… yes." My voice cracked. I don't want to cry— he'd laugh at me.

"The door chimes again." Another comforting squeeze. "You can still wait here if you want to, Shion." So mother goes while I'm frozen in terror at our little dining room table, because an old friend might be coming to visit?

A squeal! Mother's voice? "Safu! You're really here! You're back, you're really… alive! This is so wonderful. Shion's going to be— come, follow me." I can hear mother tearing up with joy.

I can hear Safu's laughter…

In the few moments it takes for the shadows in the hall to round the corner and find me, I've at least risen to my feet. And there she is.

"Shion!" She's at the kitchen entrance, smiling brightly.

"Safu…"

I really am going to cry…