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Chapter 2

Sunhill Station

Mum pulled the car over in front of the back entrance to the station. We climbed out and Mum set off for the doors. She keyed in the code and the little beep signalled that the door was unlocked. She held it open for me and we walked inside. There was a buzz in conversation when we walked in through the doors. Everyone went quiet when they saw who it was. Sergeant Jo Masters was on the desk, signing prisoners into the cells. She smiled encouragingly at me before returning to her work. The PCs in the room smiled at me as well.

"Come on" Mum said, pulling my arm and dragging me towards her office.

She shut the door behind her and slumped into her chair. She rubbed her eyes.

"Sit down Casey" Mum sighed.

I sat down in the chair opposite her, like I always did when I came to work with her. She didn't look at me for a few moments. Instead she looked past me to the picture of me, Mum and Dad that was framed on the wall. She stared at it with this eerie look, as if she was just too tired to have any emotions left. She let out another lifeless sigh.

"What are we going to do Casey?" Mum asked me wearily.

"I don't know Mum"

"Are you keeping the baby?" Mum asked, finally looking up to meet my eyes.

"I'm not aborting it Mum…I just can't. It…the baby…feels like part of me. I can't just get rid because it's not the right time for me" I explained, trying to make her understand.

I didn't know when I suddenly became so intent on becoming a mother. I didn't know when the reality of the situation set in. But I could feel it, like an ache, a pulling pain, telling me that I couldn't harm my baby, that it was my baby and I would do right by it, no matter what.

"Are you sure that this is what you want?" she said quietly "because it won't be easy for you Casey. Being a mother is hard work, you need to know that"

"I know that Mum, but you managed didn't you?"

"I had your Dad around to help me" she replied.

"Mum…can we talk about this tonight, I want to go think, you know? Is that ok?"

"Sure Casey, we can talk later, I've got a load of paperwork to be getting on with anyway"

"Thanks Mum, I'll see you later"

She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. I got up from the chair, my head still a little woozy, and left the room. The corridor was thankfully empty, so I crept across the tiled floor and down the corridor that led to the cafeteria. It was going on for three now so I hoped the cafeteria would be empty too. I was lucky once more, there were only a few people sitting in the blue seats. I bought some chips and a big slice of chocolate cake before finding a seat on the far side of the room. I rested my head on the windowsill and stuffed chips one after another into my mouth. No-one disturbed me; they just let me get on with my wallowing. And I was thankful because I didn't want to talk to anyone. Or at least not any of the people who would want to talk to me. Mel and Hollie were sitting with a few of the other PCs in the centre of the room. They kept watching me, looking as if they wanted to come over and speak to me. But I couldn't speak to them; they would feel sorry for me. I didn't want that.

"Is this seat taken?" a kind, Londoner's voice said from beside me.

I looked up to see Smithy smiling softly at me, a piece of chocolate cake wrapped in a paper serviette in his hand. I shook my head and he sat down beside me. He tore a lump of cake from the slice and stuffed it into his mouth, his eyes twinkling softly at me.

"So…" Smithy said, easing into things, "how did your Mum take things?"

I let out a sigh and shook my head.

"As well as can be expected" I replied quietly "she hasn't completely lost it with me, but she can barely look me in the eye. She's disappointed in me, I can see it in her face, she can't even look at me Smithy without feeling disgusted by me"

"Hey! Casey! Your Mum is not disgusted by you. You made a mistake, everyone does it. She's just worried about you, give her some time to think things through and then speak to her about it" Smithy insisted before shoving the rest of his cake slice into his mouth.

"Thanks Smithy" I smiled.

"Are you eating those chips?" Smithy asked, reaching his hand across the table to grab some from my plate.

I laughed and smacked his hand away. He pouted but I could see he was glad that he'd cheered him up.

"Hands off! I'm eating for two now, aren't I? You don't get to steal my food anymore" I joked but pushed a few chips his way.

We chomped away on chips for a few minutes before Smithy stood up and smoothed out his uniform.

"I'm taking over for Stone on patrol so I'll see you later ok?" Smithy smiled

"Yeah, sure; I'll just hide out here for a bit until my Mum's shift is over"

"I'll send someone along to keep you company"

"I don't need babysitting Smithy" I told him indignantly, sticking my chin upwards.

Smithy rolled his eyes at me, stole a few more chips and ran away before I could hit him. I picked up my plate and grumbled as I handed it back to the cafeteria lady. I sighed and meandered through the corridors, not sure of exactly where I wanted to go. Hollie and Mel were on patrol and so were most of the other PCs at the station. I was walking the corridors, past the changing rooms for Uniform, when Callum Stone walked out of the changing room, tucking in his crisp white shirt.

He stopped in front of me and smiled, making my knees going a little wobbly and fuzzy. The thing is, I'd always had a little bit of a crush on Callum Stone, ever since the first day I'd met him six years ago. I'd been twelve at the time. I wasn't stupid; I knew it would never happen. He'd seen me through the awkward phases, seen me grow up, the teen tantrums, the bad times. But this was the worst time, this time he would think of me worse than ever before. Because this time I was pregnant.

"How you feeling Casey?" Callum asked as we walked towards his office.

"Oh, much better"

"So…pregnant, huh?" he asked, not quite looking me in the eye as he sat down a his desk.

"That's what the pee stick tells me" I mumbled.

He chuckled a little and I glowed at the sound. I curled up in a chair in front of his desk and sighed.

"Who's the father?" he asked, again not looking me quite in the eyes.

That was the question I didn't want to answer. That was the question that I didn't want to face .Because if I faced it, I'd have to face him and I wasn't ready to face him just yet. I looked down at my hands. Callum was someone I didn't want to tell, because he along with my parents and everyone else that I faced would judge me.

"I can't tell you" I whispered.

"Fair enough" he conceded.

"It's not that I don't trust you…it's just that I haven't told him yet" I spluttered.

"Oh, ok, that's only right" he said with a small smile.

"I don't know how to tell him" I confessed, blushing.

"Just spit it out, it's the best way" Callum smiled.

"Hah! Easier said than done! Trust me; this guy isn't the fatherly type. He is going to want nothing to do with this baby"

"You don't know that"

"Wait till you find out who it is and then say that" I challenged, raising an eyebrow.

"I know the guy?" Callum asked.

I nodded meekly.

"So it's someone here, at the station?" Callum figured, I could almost hear the cogs going in his head.

"Look, I've already told you far too much! I shouldn't be saying anything. Please, don't try and figure this out, not until I figure out what I'm going to tell him".

"What if he doesn't want the baby?"

"If…if he doesn't want the baby, then I won't force him to be a part of the baby's life. But I'm keeping this baby, Callum, there's no doubt about that" I said with feeling.

"I'm sorry I'm being ratty with you" I apologised "it's just been one of those days, you know? Everything just seems so hard right now; there just seems to be so much to do: talk to mum, talk to dad, tell the father, get a midwife. And what about college? I've still got five months left before my exams. Will they even let me go to college still? I'm only eighteen for Christ's sake, what the hell am I going to do?" I balled, fisting my t-shirt in my fists.

Callum stood up from his desk and came to kneel down in front of me. I tried not to be distracted by his face, although that was no easy task.

"First, you tell the father, then you speak to your mum and dad. And then, you deal with the rest" he instructed.

"How do I tell him, Callum?" I whispered.

"I don't know, Case" Callum sighed, "that's up to you".