A/N: Well, here's another chapter. It is time, my dear readers, to say this story is coming close to being concluded. Yet, let me tell you that considering the super-slow rate of my updates, I feel quite satisfied in getting to this point. But let's not rush to say goodbye to the story, I still have a couple of chapters more to go.

I must confess I feel a little less than confident about this chapter. I hope I didn't go too far with the corniness, or with the out-of-characterness. I would really appreciate your comments regarding this.

Talking about something else, after a long consideration I decided to create a mailing list. If you happen to be interested, please check the details in my profile.

So, this chapter goes to my Mexican readers and Dear Mexico (my second motherland and home of my early youth), in celebration for its bicentennial anniversary and the centennial of the Mexican Revolution. My heart rejoices and cheers along with you.

Thanks to darkflyer531 for the add, to The Midnight Blossoms for faving me, and to charm'n'strange for faving the story. Faves make me so happy…

Disclaimer: Saint Seiya belongs to Kurumada Sensei.

9.

People say we fear what we don't understand, or what we don't know. Well, one thing I do know, is that the things I fear the most are the ones I know very well. Someone like me, that has been where I've been, that has seen, bled and cried like I have; can afford the luxury of declaring he knows his fears.

But the fears of people close to one's heart can appear from places that weren't expected…

It is said that Ofiuchus, the Serpent Holder, is nothing less than Asclepius son of Apollo, who was ascended as atonement for the cruelty of his death. Becoming a constellation is not an easily given honor, but a fit outcome for a noteworthy life. Of course, being his father's son was reason enough to transcend his human lifespan, but that wasn't what made his place in the conscience of Gods and Humans alike.

Here it is what the myth says about him:

After killing Asclepius' mother Coronis, as a punishment for her infidelity, Apollo gave his son to be raised under the care of the centaur Chiron, who instructed him in the art of medicine. And hence he became the greatest of all healers, one so talented that he was said to be capable of raising the dead.

So, everything seems to indicate that he put his talent to good use, because even if there are different versions out there, they all coincide in how his actions ended up raising not only the dead, but also the wrath of Hades. He was messing with the dark god's domains, and must be stopped, and it also seems like the easiest way was to ask for the help of the father of all Gods. So, the mighty Zeus decided in favor of his brother, and he himself took care of his grandson's punishment.

Why did he use a thunderbolt? Well, that I couldn't say… maybe you could tell me. The thing is, given my dear Ofiuchus Saint is the mistress and holder of the much feared "thunder claw", I could never guess she could be scared of thunder. It wasn't hard to believe, though, when I felt her trembling in my arms one stormy night.

She said she wasn't feeling so good, and she was going to bed early. I stayed to watch TV a little longer. Soon the storm grew louder, and the power went off. Seconds later I heard a scream perfectly synchronized with a thunder's roar, that sounded disturbingly close. I ran to my bedroom and found her curled on the floor, erratically illuminated by the lightning-ignited sky. I sat by her and hugged her. She was shaking, but other than that remained motionless, protecting her ears with her hands. Another lightning bolt, then thunder. She screamed again... and quivered. I held her tighter, finally making her lower her arms.

"Shhhh…. Shhh… I whispered. "Here I am, not leaving you alone, no one will harm you... I'm not letting anything harm you…"

"They are searching for me… for me…" She mumbled.

"Shaina," I asked, "who is searching for you?"

She didn't answer, I realized she was still asleep or in some kind of trance. More thunder and another scream, this time she held onto me and squeezed me tight.

"The thunder?" I asked.

"Don't let them find me," she mumbled again.

"It doesn't matter if they find you," I said. "I'm not letting anyone take you away from me."

I felt her relaxing and pulling away a little. She opened her eyes and looked at me for a few seconds, then she held me again. "Sorry," she said.

"Ah?"

"For worrying you."

"Tell me," I asked, "do you always have nightmares during thunderstorms?"

She just nodded. Gods! How many years did she live by herself? How many years did she put up with the irrational panic, without someone to hold her… to tell her that everything will be all right? I hardly slept that night, guarding her sleep in my embrace, thinking of what could possibly be the fear of being chased by thunder.

The next day I installed a lightning rod.

What with all this, you may ask.

Guess I remembered 'cause that was the second time she admitted her fear to me. The first time was a little after my conversation with Miho, that same night in fact.

I got to Seika's before sundown, spirits up and eager to see my sister. The Gods had been generous to me that afternoon, and if my run continued I would surely do fine with my plans for the evening: to tell Seika about Shaina.

I rang the bell, she opened almost immediately. Without letting her say anything, I held her and lifted her, making her spin a couple of times. She complained between laughs, demanding me to put her down. I let her go, and laughed a little at her failure to give me a disapproving stare. Then her face was showing me a warm smile. Seika… Seika… the truth is even then I missed her a lot. I came inside carelessly before she had the chance to invite me in.

"Hey," I asked her, "where is 'what's-his-name'?

"Who? Ah… you mean Yoshi.

"Sure, him."

"He's not home yet."

"Ah, ok." I tried to keep myself from being evident about my relief. I didn't feel like coping with my barely-met brother-in-law. "And, how'd you been?

"Very well, thank you. But not as well as you are, it seems. You look really good."

"Thanks," I answered, all full of myself.

"And, did you see Miho-chan?"

"Yes, your plan worked out perfectly." She ignored my comment but blushed a little. "I walked her home."

"Oh!" She said, not hiding her satisfaction. "And, how did things go?"

"Very well, actually. I had a nice time with her."

She didn't ask any more about it, but I think she couldn't dissemble her smile, even wanting to.

"So, are you hungry?"

"Not really," good opportunity to bring out the subject I had planned. "Besides, I promised Shaina we would have dinner together. I'll wait for her; she'll be here any minute. In fact, I was hoping you and… eh, Yoshi would join us."

Her expression changed abruptly, she went to sit by my side. "Oh, as a matter of fact, Shaina-san was here earlier this afternoon. We had tea."

"She was?" That meant she came and then left. Crap. "And why didn't she wait?"

"Well, I told her I didn't think you would come soon, that I thought you were out with Miho, and probably the two of you would have a lot to talk about…"

Crap crap crap crap crap… Crap. "You did?"

I'm sure my face showed exactly what I was thinking, no matter how hard I tried to play cool.

"Why, did I do something wrong? I didn't know… she didn't say you were going to take her for dinner…"

"And she didn't say anything?"

"She asked if you and Miho were close."

Ohhhh shit… "And… what'd ya say?"

"That I believe you were close before you got… enrolled in Saori Kido's em… missions, and… that I have hoped for years you could get along with her, because she's sort of a … connection with a life before… a life that was much simpler… And I thought she could maybe… help you out of…"

"My crazy life." Telling by the nervousness of my sister, my efforts of looking calm had been useless for a while. Gods! Poor Seika. Then I wondered why she was worried about me all the time. Anyway, I needed to know what else had happened. "And… what'd she say?"

"Not much, but she asked if I thought she could do that. I told her I didn't know… but I certainly hope so… because you deserve to have a nice life."

This time I didn't say anything, but my eyes pleaded for her to go on.

"She said," my sister continued, "she also wants you to have a nice life. Then she thanked me for the tea and left.

I closed my eyes and leaned back on the couch. "Goddess…! Goddess!

Seika looked at me and exhaled with a certain anxiety. " I… Oh, God. I'm so sorry, Seiya. Her behavior was a little strange, but I didn't think… you know how she is…"

I stood up with a jump, told Seika an incoherent apology, and ran away.

She was hiding from me, I couldn't feel her anywhere.

Damn it, damn it, damn it…

I had no idea of where I should start to look. I didn't think she was with Shun and June, more likely she would be at a place where she could fume out all the not-so-nice things she was probably feeling about me. And I couldn't blame her, as far as she knew I was out with my 'ex' or something, and forgot about our plans for the evening.

I decided that if she wanted me to find her, she would be somewhere I would be able to think of. Places with a meaning for us both… like the forest near the Gaude Foundation's hospital, where she nearly lost her life protecting me from Aioria.

Before I knew it I was there, jumped the fence and bilked the security system without any trouble. I ran towards the woods, searching in the shadows for a glimpse of green hair.

Amazingly enough, I was right in the first try: there she was, leaning against a tree and staring at the starry sky. I walked to her side in silence, not knowing if I should feel relieved or ashamed, or angry. I just waited for her to acknowledge my presence.

"Hey" she said, "you came". Her voice sounded calm and friendly, but I could sense a disturbing void of affection.

"Sure, didn't you expect me to?" I answered, as if it was the most natural thing.

"In fact I did."And she smiled.

Thank you, all of you Gods… Thank you.

"So, how did it go with June?"

"Good… I mean, very nice. The doctors said everything's ok, but I think June was trying to drive them crazy."

Really… no kidding. "How's that?"

"Cultural incompatibilities, I guess. She called them 'butchers' and 'macho pigs' every time they suggested any procedure that could make the delivery… easier for her. Of course she didn't say those things in Japanese, but I think they got the message anyway. And since she's the wife of a Kido, they have to pretend they like her… it was kind of funny, actually."

"Yeah, I bet." "What'd Shun say?"

"That she wins, and he will go and look for a midwife in Greece, so maybe then June will be more… pleased with the arrangements."

Then we both stayed silent. I really didn't know if I should bring out… I didn't even know what to bring out. "And, what did you do afterwards?"

"They went back to the Kido mansion, I went looking for you."

"Yeah, right… An'bout that, I was wondering why you didn't wait for me at Seika´s." I wasn't really asking her for an explanation, but maybe it sounded like that.

"She said you weren't coming back soon, and then I guess I ran out of conversation topics."

Topics? I had an idea of what kind of topics they could be talking about… Probably they all started with my name. I had the feeling that I would find out very soon, and guess what? she didn't make me wait. Her voice came out firm but very polite, like she would talk to a new acquaintance.

"Tell me, Seiya, why don't you come back to live in Japan? You could have any kind of life you want, go to college, marry a nice Japanese girl and have a family..."

Gods! I knew it; I knew it would come to this… Damn. I felt my temper going loose. "What the hell are you talking about?"

She, instead, remained calm, using that melodic tone in her voice. "I mean it; you are allowed to have a good life."

Who said I didn't? "I have a good life!"

"Come on, Seiya, we both know you can do a lot much better. This… Miho girl, that's her name, right? She looks like a really nice person, and she obviously cares about you."

So, she saw us, Miho and me. That I should have expected. She probably went looking for me… But then, I did nothing wrong, I was just talking to my old friend! Was she angry? Goddess… the worst thing was that freaking lack of anger in her voice, not even the slightest trace of jealousy or hurt. That only could mean she was going back into her shell, to hide behind the damned mask. She was turning back into the wise and ever indulgent shrine keeper… protecting herself by breaking her feelings apart from me.

No… not again… I´m not letting you do this.

"Besides, if you return to Greece," she continued "what do you plan to do for the rest of your life? Remain a foreigner, without knowing what are you going to do the next day?"

"Well, yeah? S'not been bad so far."

"Think about it, you don't know if one day, years from now, you will wake up and regret…"

"No. I'm not thinking about it, and you know why? Cause won't regret nothin'." I interrupted her. "Besides, if you think what you say is such a good idea, why don't you go for it yourself? Why don't you go back to your… country or whatever, and have a happy ever after?"

"It's not the same, I have no one there." She barely said. "You… looked very… comfortable with that girl this evening. Your life could be like that, peaceful and untroubled. You have family here, and friends, people who care about you… and rights over an enormous wealth. You could live without a worry."

Ok, that last was the final piece needed to completely piss me off. "Gods! Why are you doing this? I don't wanna live here, I'm not interested in marrying Miho! She's a childhood friend, ok? And I… I…" I actually just told her I don't feel that way about her. "And, above everything," hear this well sweetheart, because I don't ever want to say it again, "I DON'T WANT A CENT OF THE OLD MAN'S MONEY! What kind of man do you think I am? Don't you know me at all? Dammit Shaina, are you trying to punish me? Go on then, you're doing a great job!"

She turned her face to me, her expression was one of apology but remained serene "Don't, Seiya, I didn't mean it like that…"

Part of me wanted to be angry at her, but most of me was just thinking of how gorgeous she looked, all bathed in starlight. "Please, believe me, I don't care about those things, all I want, I have it back home." My words came out like a plea, hoping to at least make her lower her guard a little. "I… I need to be there… I know you understand, I know you feel the same."

If there was someone who understood, it was her. "Because of Athena."

No… I mean, yes… Not only Saori… not anymore… but she's even now the weightiest reason. I can't lie to you, it would be unfair… and probably useless, because despite of what I said, you know me too well. "Yes."

She sighed in defeat, avoiding my gaze. "You don't have to. Stay at the Sanctuary I mean. I must, but you don't. You are not required," she said like only someone that has undisclosed a terrible secret would. "I'm sorry, Seiya."

Not… required? What the hell… I felt anger and frustration rising inside me; it was possible that Athena didn't need me anymore? Didn't want me close to her, anymore? I barely managed to gasp a few words.

"What d'you mean?"

She was choosing her words carefully. I knew she was bound to be loyal to you, but she was aware of how the knowledge she carried could easily devastate me. "It is her will."

I knew it killed her, but I was too angry to dwell on solicitudes. Gods, Saori… Every time it came to you, I ended up behaving asininely with her. "No, that is not an answer," I grunted, and then yelled. "Tell me the truth, tell me why!"

"You know why," she said calmly.

Of course I didn't know. All I could think at that moment was how suddenly I wasn't good for you. No, not suddenly… it had been for a long time, but I had been in denial.

No, no, no! Athena… She always does this to me! She always tries to keep me away… to make me feel I'm not needed anymore… But she's been wrong in the past, and yet… Now, once again she says I'm not of use to her anymore, and she doesn't want the burden I am. But she also wants to take you away from me? Does she really despise me that much?

You had to show me this bitter knowledge in the face of my sweet solace. You wanted to ruin her to me, didn't you? Alas, it was too late to draw back. "I need to hear it. Tell me."

She looked directly to my eyes and then started to speak, softly. "She… she cannot bear to see your suffering. She wants you to be happy."

Or maybe she hates me not…

Goddamnit! Then, why are we having this stupid conversation! I thought… I thought she might want us to be together, you and me, Shaina. I thought she knew about our hearts…

I was more confused than I thought possible, what were we talking about? Why was she behaving like if she wanted to break up with me? That was the last thing I needed! And, above everything, what the hell did the woman want?

A little reassurance, maybe? It is not like you have said a word to give her something to look forward to.

The words sounded in my head like an epiphany, I still wonder if you placed them there. Although, epiphany and everything, I was fuming.

"I AM happy!"

Am I?

"Seiya…"

Yes, I was. I was happier than ever before. "I am. Well, not very happy at the present moment, in fact I'm goddamn fucking furious right now…" then I lowered my face and blushed a little, "but on the whole, I am happy. Very."

And how couldn't I? She was with me, and she was…

…She is… Just look at her, alright! I am so… fortunate.

She turned her back to me, hugging herself. Was she cold? Why on earth wasn't I holding her? I realized the whole thing was going too far. If you want to break up with me missy, you've got another thing coming…

I gathered all the strength of my feelings, my rage and my frustration. I concentrated them in the pit of my stomach so I could make the words come out. And I made sure she would hear me loud and clear. "Dear Goddess, woman! Are you blind?" I yelled, "no, it has to be something worse than that, 'cause even a blind man can see I'm completely, utterly in love with you!"

And it did her. She turned to me, her eyes wide with dread and full of tears. The walls crumbled to the ground, along with her. "Please Seiya… don't… don't say it if you don't… I couldn't stand it."

Jeez. I thought she would believe me, I thought she would say she knew. This was not the reaction I was expecting and it really made me feel frustrated. "I'm not…" I felt the words abandoning me, by then I was beyond annoyance. "Ughhh!," I roared as I fell on my knees, right in front of her. "What do you want me to do? How can I make you believe me? You're right, I'm not doing a lot with my life right now… and I don't know what I'm going to do in the future…" I sighed and sat cross-legged, grasping her hands in mine. I heard my own tone softening, and I smiled. "But one thing I know for certain, and it is that I want to be with you, all my life… if you will have me."

Yes, I know… I truly never meant to go all soap opera, but well… sometimes a little corniness gets handy. She looked at me; and I almost didn't believe it when I saw a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Are you proposing to me?" she said in a playful tone.

"It depends… would that scare you away?" I said, feigning shyness.

A sad shade fell over her eyes and she looked down, a heartrending smile graced her face. "Probably."

No, don't fall into sadness… I love when you smile, I need you to smile. I rolled my eyes and wrinkled my nose, "then nah, I'm not."

And she laughed… And my heart sang.

Then she looked into my eyes. "I need you to know… it is not that I have doubts about you."

"I know," I said, fondling her cheek with the back of my fingers.

"I don't own myself to give away… yet, but there will be a time. I hope… I need the hope," she leaned her face into my hand, closing her eyes, "even if I know I will never have all of you either."

She knew me. She knew the bindings of my heart, my crassness, and the stubbornness I won along with my war injuries. And yet she loved me… she wanted to be with me. She deserved to know how much her love meant to me. "I… I wish I had complete control over my fate… and my heart. But, it doesn't change the way I feel for you! I know how long you waited for me; I know you gave up your choices so you could stay close."

She drew back, glaring intensely at me. "What do you mean?"

Ha,ha… So, you women didn't think I could actually be paying attention all this time. "I'm not completely clueless, y'know? I know your increasing devotion to Athena has something to do with staying in the Sanctuary. Got a perfect excuse to keep an eye on poor, madcap Seiya."

She snorted in quite an unladylike way "Gods! Do you have an ego or what?"

And you have some nerve… "Tell me I'm wrong then…"

But she didn't. She stared at the ground until the silence became unbearable. She breathed deep before talking "I… She… I wanted to understand why you loved her so… completely. I knew it was beyond her Goddess condition or her role as the guardian of earth; so I tried to see… I worked hard to earn the right to be close to her. And finally she let me see. I saw her through your eyes, Seiya, and she was all light, all this… miraculous love. I could see through her heart, and I felt her hurting, for all her Saints, and her pain because of you was so much like my own… our pain because of your pain. She said I had the means to ease your pain, she said you would notice me some time and then you would find comfort, and maybe… finally forgive her. So, although I had little faith, I waited." She fell silent, but she was calm.

"If it is so," I asked "why are you pushing me away?"

"Because I'm scared," she whispered.

And there I thought nothing could astound me anymore. "Of me?"

"Oh yeah," she chuckled.

I laughed "well, I'm scared of you too; I think I've always been. I guess it makes two of us… scared people… of each other. And, y'kow what? I think it can only mean we are in love."

She smiled fondly at me. "I wish we didn't have to fear anything."

"Yeah, me too. Y'know, I don't think we have to… I think you're right, it will come in time."

"Well, everyone needs something to look forward to," she smiled.

You have no idea… "I'll wait, now it's my turn. An' I can wait… I'll wait for you, 'till you're ready."

"Then, I hope you know that even if I can't say I'm yours, you are not supposed to wait for me, in all the sense of the word…"

"I could say… Haven't ya been 'round the last few months?" I mumbled, amused.

"Seiya…" She rolled her eyes.

"Ok, sorry. Please go on."

"I lost my train of thought!"

"You're saying I don' have to wait for all of you…"

"Right; what I mean is that my will may be committed elsewhere, but my heart is mine to give… and it's yours; it has been for a long time."

Oh, Goddess… I don't think she knows how her words can touch my heart, and make it warm. This kind of warmth always brings me to smile, no matter what. "An' I always've known… And, I'll tell you a li'l secret," I whispered into her ear, "I think that´s the one thing that kept me going through these last years."

She burst into tears and I felt them washing my worries away; in fact, I was astonished at how she coped all this time. Now she would cry out her sorrow, so it couldn't hurt her anymore. I yearned to soothe her ache, and never again be the cause of it. Oh, Saori… I knew I would fail, but I made a promise to myself to never stop trying. Then I pulled her into my embrace.

"Crazy boy," she whimpered, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Foolish woman," I whispered into her hair. "So, you're not breaking up with me, are you?"

She chuckled and slapped my chest, "I'd have to be insane."

"Hey! I'm the crazy one, remember? But my madness has a name, y' know? It starts with an 's', then goes an 'h'…"

"Oh, Goddess!" she sighed, "shut up already."

I leaned closer and whispered huskily, "Make me."

And she made me hush alright… but about that, I'm not telling you a thing.