A/N: Hi everybody. Against the odds, here's another update… more than a year later. I guess it is not use to try to explain myself after all this time, but an apology is in order. So, I sincerely apologize to the people that were following this story (even if there's only one person), and I hope you enjoy the story if you continue to read it.
I want to thank the people that have been reading this story all this time, you made me feel it was worth the effort.
Please enjoy this new part; of course feedback will be highly appreciated.
10.
Many people live and die without ever knowing their purpose in life. Maybe they don't even know if they were supposed to have one in the first place, and probably they don't even care. Don't blame them, though. How can you care about having something to do in life, when you… you know, don't even know?
Well, I learned what I was meant for at a very young age, but even before knowing anything I was forced into it. I was so young that most people would say I should be playing marbles instead of fighting for the sake of some goddess' vocation. But that's what I was supposed to do, even if at first I really didn't give a damn 'bout it.
And, why should I? I was torn away from my sister, the only family I knew, and then forced to learn the ways of the Saints under the watch of a ruthless teacher, that wouldn't give me a fu- a freakin' break. And nobody explained nothing to me, except for the old man sayin' he would let me see my sis if I came back with some infamous gadget he called a Cloth.
'Cause, you know? I was just a kid. A freakishly talented kid, maybe, but that was it. And, I really didn't know why I was being trained to be a Saint. I thought I did, but I was wrong. That 'till I got to know you, 'f course. Then it came to me, all of it. All I ever knew… always knew, but didn't know I knew.
Makes any sense?
Doesn't matter, 'cause once I learned my purpose in life, it made sense. Everything… and there were no more doubts, no need for explanations.
But the day came when you decided my purpose was done. And what was I supposed to say? 's not like I could argue, not with you anyway. I guess then, there's no harm in never knowing one's purpose… but, what if you know it and then... lose it?
Find a new one, you would say. But no, sorry my love, 'm afraid it doesn't work that way. You will always be my purpose, my reason, my one and only Goddess; and I'll always be ready to die for you, never think otherwise.
But… I cannot lie to you either… 'cause you aren't my only love. Not any more 'n any case. Just hope you're fine with it. Love is a grand thing, and you cannot expect a guy not to… well, love. Not when there's so much love around, of so many kinds, asking to be experienced. And's not like I can help it. So, what if my purpose has expired already? At least there's people who loves me… that much I know.
Am I drunk, you say?
Well yeah… maybe, just a little.
0
After Shaina and I came back from Japan, we sort of couldn't keep our hands off each other.
When we first started to live together, it was more about adjusting, I think. But now was different, and far better.
Because, I mean… it wasn't just the physical thing, it was about enjoying (a great deal) each other's company. We spent together every minute we could, I even fixed my working schedule so I could go pick her up after her training lessons more often. Then we would walk home by the seashore, taking our time, giving each other the minutes of our day. Sometimes sunset caught us during our walk, and we stopped to stargaze a bit. Even, a few times I was able persuade her to hurry home and change, so we could go downtown and have a drink at the tavern, and then just slow dance for a while… or to the theatre, or even the town's festival.
Other times I waited for her to finish her tutoring, so we could do a little sparring. Her pupils stayed to watch, of course, and I didn't scruple in showing off. I knew I was the only one that could make her bring out her best, and the kids could use some illustration in what a real match among Saints would be like. And, dear Athena! Who'd tell getting your butt kicked by your woman could be so much fun?
Well, what I'm trying to say is that we were connected at a higher level, with a kind of bond I didn't even know could exist. And let me tell you, Goddess of mine, it was turning my world upside down.
Shun said it was ok, to feel that way. He said it was only me being true to myself… whatever that meant.
Anyway… so immersed into the thrill I was, that several weeks passed by and I literally forgot which day I was living.
And that's how one morning I came back home after a night shift, feeling comforted by a beautiful sunrise in the beach after all the hard work. I opened the door quietly, as I would usually do, expecting to find nothing but slumbering people inside my house. But that time I found her sitting by the table, her gorgeous face looking at me with a warm smile. "Hey, beautiful," I greeted.
"Hey yourself."
"You're up early."
She walked towards me and stopped just an inch away. "I wanted to say 'Happy Birthday' before everyone else." I widened my eyes in surprise, but couldn't say a word as she was pushing me against a wall and whispering next to my throat "And also: 'I love you, Seiya'."
"I'll be damned…"
I hated my birthdays, and I'd completely forgotten about it, but in that instant I couldn't care less. I lifted her in my arms and in a swirl I was pushing the bedroom door with my foot, and then for some reason I turned back to the front door and realized I hadn't closed it.
I also realized there stood Hyoga, leaning against the frame and wearing that smug smirk of his. And without need of any diamonddust, I froze.
"Hi there," he said, "go on, you two. Never mind old me."
How could he even get there without me noticing? …The sneaky bastard.
I lowered Shaina slowly, but kept holding her against me. She was mumbling embarrassed curses against my chest, while I was more annoyed than mortified. "Hyoga," I addressed him nonchalantly "I didn't know you were coming." My pals and their timing…
"And miss the great birthday? Not a chance."
"You never come for my birthdays," I answered, not amused.
"Not yours, you dope," he said, coming in and making himself comfortable on the couch, "my baby niece´s birth-day."
"Well," Shaina said, trying to act cool, "now that you're here, we can all celebrate Seiya´s birthday together. You would like that, don't you Seiya?"
"Sure, if you say so." I stroked a loose lock away from her face, enjoying the way she was looking at me.
Hyoga rolled his eyes dramatically, making sure we could watch him.
"How you even know it's a girl?" I asked him, since he insisted in being the center of attention, "June and Shun didn't want to know, so how can you?"
"You even doubt it? Man… talking about lack of perception. No wonder you didn't notice me in your house until a minute ago."
"What about some coffee? I just made some," Shaina chirped, parting from me towards the kitchen counter. She placed three mugs on the table and filled them. I followed her and handed one to Hyoga, then took one for myself and sat by the table, facing him. "You are a bit early, though".
"Early, for what? Breakfast? At what time you people eat, by the way?" he asked.
"I mean, the baby won't be born for another five weeks."
"Well, I didn't want to take any chances. Besides, I have nothing better to do these days, so…"
So, we would have Hyoga for a while. Shaina grabbed her mug and headed towards the front door. "Well, I have to go… eh… outside. I'll leave the two of you to catch up." Then she turned to Hyoga while hissing "be nice, or else you'll answer to me!"
I could swear the temperature of the room dropped five degrees, but to my great surprise, Hyoga didn't retort. "I forgot what a little spitfire she is. Some woman you got yourself," he remarked as soon as she was out of hearing range. "And hot as hell too".
Jeez… who the hell he thinks he is! To talk about my girl like that!
"More than you can handle," I answered, narrowing my stare, "an icicle like you would melt down and steam right away, so you better keep your distance."
"You mean sublimate." He smiled. To my face of utter annoyance (and ignorance), he continued: "If ice melts directly into steam, it sublimates. Not that I expected you to know that."
Dear Athena, he could be irritating. "Whatever!" I groaned, "I'm jus' saying she's way out of your league."
"Wanna bet?" He challenged.
"I'm serious, hands off!"
"Ha! Cool down, bro. As if she'd give me the time of day while you´re still kicking around." Hyoga snickered while spreading on the couch. "After you die maybe, then I could take care of her… for you." He said, thinking he was the funniest guy in the world.
"Over my dead body," I snapped.
"That's exactly what I just said."
"Right then", I said, using a tone that didn't leave room for arguments. "I swear to Goddess, you lay a finger on her, and I'll rise from the grave with the sole intention of spooking the crap out of you, y'hear me?"
He looked at me intensely, and so did I. We held our stares like that for a minute, until he couldn't stand it anymore and burst into laughter. I followed an instant later, laughing so hard I almost couldn't breathe. The fit lasted for what felt like hours, Hyoga was rolling on the couch holding his stomach, and I had to grab my chair to avoid falling on the floor.
"Man… I've missed you" he panted, trying to catch his breath.
"Yeah, me too" I finally said, breathing deep.
"Only because you're such easy bait," he explained.
"You love me to death, just admit it."
"You wish," he breathed, shaking his head. "So", he started after a moment of silence, "twenty already?"
"Yep."
"What would you like to do about it?" He asked, roguishly.
"Dunno. Not what I usually do, that's for sure." I chuckled.
"And what's that?"
"Disappear," I confessed, sighing with my head down. "Find a place where no one knows me, and get wasted drunk, 'till pass out. Later, Shun finds me and brings me back." Then I added: "Except for last year… since he wasn't home and all..."
"What did you do, then?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.
"I passed out in a downtown bar, then a guy from work tried to bring me back, but he said I was too heavy so he just let me sleep on some shipping boxes in some warehouse, at the dock. To save me the trip the next day, he said. The truth is the jerk was also drunk. "
"You're such a dumbass!" he laughed.
"Right…"
"Of course you are! Next time you want to do that, you ask me to come so we both can get wasted," he stated, dead serious.
I laughed at that, then I stayed quiet for a moment before telling him "well, it was sort of the point… being alone and drink to forget how miserable I was, and then feel more miserable… and stupid."
"I know," he said, meaningfully. And I knew he understood. Shun accepted my behavior, because he is a patient and kind heart, but he didn't know how it feels. Hyoga did, far better than me probably. Suddenly he brightened up "but I won´t let you do that to yourself. This year I come along, hell, we'll bring Shun too."
"Oh, we can´t do that!"
"Why not?" he frowned.
"Bring Shun, I mean…" I explained. "It's against his religion, or something. The only way you will drag him to one of those places will be to take me out of it." Then I smiled at him and dropped my shoulders "and I'm not doing that this year, so don't bother."
As on cue, Shun appeared from his room, fresh-bathed and smiling. "Good morning! Hey, Hyoga, I thought I heard you! How nice to have you here!"
Hyoga nodded, addressing Shun. "You look good, man. Married life suits you, it seems."
"Can't complain," Shun answered, smiling fondly.
"And can't say the same ´bout you…" I mumbled.
"Shut up!" Hyoga snapped towards me. Then he smirked conceitedly "you´re just jealous because I'm tall and blonde".
"Dream on," I rolled my eyes.
"Hey guys!" Shun chimed in. "What would you like for breakfast?"
"Anything fast, I'm starving" Hyoga said. Shun filled a pot with water and placed it on the stove, then turned the burner on. "By the way", Hyoga continued "I was telling Seiya we should go to town and have some brotherly time to celebrate his birthday, just the three of us. What you say?"
"He wants to get us drunk" I added.
"Oh!" Shun looked to a side, scratching his head nervously. "We can't do that…"
"Not you too… Why the freaking hell not?" Hyoga whined.
"Trust me!" Shun whispered loudly at Hyoga and widening his eyes… and failing miserably to be subtle. Logically, his behavior called my intention.
"Yes, Shun, why can't we?" I asked sharply.
"It´s nothing! Gosh, Seiya, you are being overly wary."
"And you are being a lousy liar. Come on brother, spill the beans, or else Hyoga and I'll be planning a trip to boozeland tonight." It was a lie, but he didn't need to know that.
"You can't do that to them!" He sighed.
"To whom?" I inquired. By that time Hyoga was comfortably leaning on the couch, his arms crossed and his face showing great amusement.
"The girls, obviously. They are planning a dinner party for you. It was supposed to be a surprise," Shun confessed, then he plumped on a chair with a defeated sigh. "They are going to be mad at me if they find out I told you."
"They did w-what?" I wasn't expecting… I mean, no one ever did something like that for me, so… "Why?" And didn't even try to hide how astounded I was.
"Well, because they love you, and want to do something nice for you. So you will be happy" he answered, matter-of-factly.
"They… do? I mean, June too?" I don't need to say I was short of words.
"Of course, we are family" he smiled brightly.
I didn't know what to say, but it didn't matter since Hyoga was fast to make a comment. "Now I feel like the third wheel here… fifth wheel, I mean."
"Hey, no one said so! And I asked you to come, didn't I?" Shun said kindly to him.
"You don't have to be nice. I'm the odd number, I get it. It's not like I live here or anything…"
"It's not like that!" Shun replied.
"Shun, let him be the 'drama queen' if he wants it so badly," I said, annoyed.
Shun sighed, resting his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand. "No, he's just trying to distract me from the fact that I had him informed about the 'party' subject, and still he made you force me to tell you. He's good, but I'm not that slow."
"I did not!" Hyoga stood up, indignantly.
"You did too." Shun sighed, resigned.
"I didn't know!" He howled. Then he sat again on the couch, narrowing his eyes, thinking hard. "…or maybe I did know… now that I think of it."
"See," Shun stated. Then he whined "how could you forget?"
"Could it be that I was mostly asleep when you called? It was 3:00 AM, for Christ's sake! Did you ever hear of something called Time Zoning?"
"Asleep like a sheep… drunk as a skunk?" I absently riddled.
"Same difference," Hyoga grumbled.
"Not if it's affecting your memory skills," I said in a sarcastic preachy tone "maybe it's time for you to acknowledge your problem."
"Ha! I can hold my hooch, not like some other people I know" he snorted back.
"Well, now the secret is out and nothing can be done," Shun shrugged dejectedly.
"Don't worry, I will act surprised," I tried to comfort Shun. He beamed at me, as if I had just done something really nice to him, then he turned to attend the steaming pot.
"I'm making oatmeal, it's that ok?" he asked.
"Of course, if you want punish me for my indiscretions," Hyoga nagged.
I laughed a little, then I walked towards the fridge and started rummaging its contents. "Don't worry, I'll make some fried eggs and bacon. June is going to want her breakfast any minute now, and she'll feel like having some greasy goodness. How that sound for you?" I asked Hyoga. He gave me the 'thumbs up'.
"You spoil her rotten", Shun complained, "I'm trying to persuade her into eating healthier. Why don't you take my side in this?"
"Sorry bro, but can't do that," I answered while plunking a crumb of cheese in my mouth. "You see, she's a bit prettier than you… and way scarier." I heated a skillet and dropped on it enough strips of bacon and some eggs, while Shun finished making his porridge.
"Hey!" Hyoga intervened, "wasn't Shun's wife 'whip-girl'? No wonder she has both of you… you know… whipped." Shun and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes, ignoring him.
"Is she up?" I asked Shun.
"Guess so."
"June!" I yelled, "breakfast's ready!"
"Does Shaina know how to use the whip too?" Hyoga wouldn't leave it be.
"Dear Goddess!" He found so much joy in getting to my nerve. "You want to know? Then I'll call her so you can ask her yourself!" Then I smirked and continued in a calmer tone. "Or better, why don't you go ask her outside. I like my house in one piece."
"I'm not that curious"
"Then shut up and eat your breakfast," I grumbled.
"'kay, since you're asking nicely…" he laughed.
I slid the eggs and bacon on two plates and placed them on the table, indicating Hyoga to come and take a seat, and handing him a fork. He sniffed his plate, evidently pleased. "Thanks bro." Then he looked at us. "Aren't you guys eating?"
"Just a minute," Shun smiled to him. "Please begin, you are the guest! We will join you soon." Of course, Hyoga didn't complain about that.
I placed another fork besides June's breakfast, opposite from Hyoga. "June!" I called again "'s getting cold!"
A minute later June came out from the room she shared with Shun, all shabby and sleepy, and holding her huge belly. "Morning…" she mumbled. Then she sat at her place, her stare fixed on her food. "Thank you Seiya, you are the best brother-in-law ever. Now you gimme coffee."
"No. No coffee." Shun interfered, placing a mug filled with warm soy milk in front of her.
"You are a food-tyrant…" June complained, pouting. Shun stood at her side and leaned to kiss the top of her head. She smiled, keeping her stare on her breakfast, and started eating.
I realized then that I was musing about how lovely she looked, unkempt and all. I wondered about my mother, all of our mothers… wondered if they all had people that pampered them like we did June. If they had someone to look after them as they should be looked after. And I knew it wasn't likely. But our baby niece or nephew would never have to worry about that sort of thing, because Shun was right, we would take care of each other as a family the same way we did as partners in war. That's the way things are meant to be. Then I noticed how Hyoga was eating silently, just watching her with an unreadable stare. She looked up at him, apparently becoming aware of his presence at that very moment.
"Who are you?" She asked, indifferently.
Hyoga smirked his answer "I'm the guy his brothers try to keep from their wives, because they know women tend to like me more than they like them."
June looked at him in recognition, pointing at him with her fork. "I remember you now… You are the snooty Russian boy that came to our wedding!"
Shun shook his head, laughing a little. He helped himself some oatmeal porridge and sat at June's side. I had the feeling that I was not needed anymore, so I filled two large mugs with Shun's concoction, grabbed a couple of spoons and headed outside.
I found Shaina curled on the porch bench, contemplating the bottom of her empty coffee cup. I sat by her, offering one of the porridge-filled mugs.
"Thank you, best-brother-in-law-ever." She said, using a cheery (yet scary) voice. Of course she heard everything; my house had thin wooden walls.
"You're welcome, hot-little-spitfire," I answered, sitting at her left.
"Oh, right. Remind me to let him know who's in charge here. Whip… I'll show him 'whip'… l'idiota!" Oh-oh, Italian… and she was looking intensely at the horizon, with that deep and frightening stare I remembered well but didn't miss at all. In order to avoid upcoming confrontations, I decided to do a little intervention in favor of the least Asian of my brothers.
"Don't be too hard on him; people skills tend to go down when you avoid human interaction. He will come around… eventually." I'm glad Hyoga wasn't there to hear me standing in his defense. "I mean, I'm no one to talk. If it wasn't for your and Shun's influence, I would probably be even worse." I laughed to myself.
She smiled at that, apparently dropping the subject and turning her attention to me. "So," she commented, "I guess the surprise dinner party is not much of a surprise anymore."
"Well," I answered, "June still thinks I don't know anything about it, and Shun doesn't know you know I know. So, let's pretend we don't know anything and stick to the plan, so everybody's happy."
She sighed. "This is so like you, Seiya. Planning a birthday party for you wasn't meant to make them happy, or me, but somehow you managed to turn it that way."
But her expression showed me no disappointment or irritation, she was looking at me the way she only dared to look when we were alone… that intense stare that told me time after time how her heart and soul where in my hands, to do whatever I wanted with them.
It was flattering, but also overwhelming.
Made me feel happy and at the same time undeserving… To think of this woman that was the strongest one I ever met, but in my hands she was fragile as the wings of a butterfly…
…And just as mind-blowing.
No one else, not even Shun or June were aware of that. This side of Shaina was only mine. It was our secret… our pact, and it was my duty to keep it safe. To keep her heart protected in the trembling shelter of my battered hands. But Goddess! As I saw those eyes, I'd have given my last breath struggling to accomplish the task.
I smiled at her, while fondling her cheek. "Have you any idea of how beautiful you are?"
She blushed and looked away, and I thought my head would explode if I didn't kiss her right there. I mean, a man can hold back until a certain point, but when someone looks at you as if you were her beginning and her end… As if nothing existed in the whole world, except for you…
…As I used to look at the Goddess of mine…
But despite my best efforts, my life didn't end when you vanished from it.
"Hey!" I said suddenly, "What would you say if I asked you to run away with me? Just like that, right now."
She wrinkled her forehead, and chuckled. "I would ask 'why do you want to run away from your own house?' of course."
"Well… a bit too crowded for my taste lately…" I answered, twisting my mouth.
She laughed out loud. "Yes, but the crowd worships you, you idol-boy."
"What can I say; some of us jus' can't restrain all that charisma."
"And humility."
"Of course, that too."
She laughed. And all I wanted was to dive into the green of her eyes, and to get lost in the wilds of her mane…
…And over all, I wanted to live.
To live, no matter if a purpose was set or if a meaning was predetermined. To live just because of the joy of it, by the people that wanted me around just because I was myself, and not for what I was supposed to be.
"We stick to the plan, then?" She asked.
I heard my brothers laughing inside my house, and I realized I was turning twenty that day and I was alive, and they all were alive, and our family was expanding… And I had a woman that adored me, literally at my side.
I also realized that even if you were not with us, you were the one that made all this possible, and the thought made your name less bitter to my tongue... if only a little.
I smiled at her and pulled her closer to me, holding her with my right arm. She leaned her head on my shoulder. I kissed her head and answered with a whisper.
"Yeah, we stick to the plan."