Disclaimer: All these great characters don't belong to me, but to Joss Whedon. I just toy around with my own versions.

Chapter five

It took some persuading, but Spike had eventually convinced the Slayer to come and see her mates. From the way she was quivering as they walked through the empty streets however, he knew she was far from convinced that she would be safe from a stake or otherwise lethal object. He himself was a bit nervous about it, but he refused to let her see it. She didn't need to know that.

He drew in a deep breath as they arrived at the address that he had gotten from Red and turned to the blonde beside him.

"No matter what happened to you, you are still the Slayer and you are their friend. They know that."

"No, they don't, but thanks for saying it."

"Listen, Slayer. Whatever happens in there, I'm sticking by you. I'll help you settle into this new life."

"What about Angelus and Darla?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, pet. For now you need help with finding yourself again."

She nodded, but she seemed distracted and Spike couldn't blame her. He took her hand, waiting a moment to see if she would pull away, but she didn't and he took his cue from that. He gently pulled her to the door and raised his hand to knock.

It turned out to be unnecessary, because the door flew open before his fist touched the wood. Rupert Giles stood just inside the door and gaped openly at his charge, the look in his eyes wavering between profound relief and a touch of fear.

"Buffy," he croaked, tears in his eyes.

"Invite us in Rupes, sun's gonna be up soon."

"Right, right. Buffy, Spike, please come in."

Spike stepped forward, tugging the Slayer with him. As the door closed behind them, he felt a tremor run through her as she instinctively cowered against him.

"It'll be alright, pet," he whispered. "You can do this."

She shook her head and clung to him more tightly. "Their heartbeats," she murmured low enough so that only he could head. "I need sustenance."

He wrapped one arm around her shoulders and held her to his side as he glanced at the Watcher. "Get the girl a bag of blood, Rupes. Make that two and get me one as well, I'm getting a bit peckish meself."

Rupert nodded and walked past them towards what Spike assumed was the kitchen. He then steered the shaking girl beside him towards the living room where here friends were watching them with undisguised shock and curiosity.

Red was the first to step forward. "Buffy? Are you okay? Of course you're not okay, what a stupid question, I meant..."

"It's alright, Will," the Slayer said quietly. "I'm trying to cope."

"Can I hug you?"

"Better not. I'm still a new at this..."

Willow nodded and retreated to where Oz was sitting.

The room was too quiet, but Spike had no idea how to break the silence without sounding like a blabbering idiot so he kept quiet and settled on the sofa that was still free. The Slayer only hesitated half a second before falling down beside him. Spike allowed a small smile to tug the corners of his mouth up. A part of him liked that she leaned on him for support and in that moment he didn't need to examine it any further than that.

Giles returned to the room then, three bags of blood in hand. He hesitantly held the bags out to Buffy who smiled a little as she accepted them before turning questioning eyes to Spike.

"Watch and learn, kitten," he said to her with a smirk before slipping into game face and biting into the bag.

Buffy's own demon responded to the sight of Spike's fangs and for the first time since she had been turned, her demon came forth without her being able to control it. Her fangs punctured the bag without effort and the blood that flowed into her mouth settled her rumbling stomach.

After she had drained both bags without so much as a pause between them her demon was purring in satisfaction and for some reason she felt the need to be closer to the superior vampire in the room. Her demon recognized that he would protect her if she could earn his respect.

Spike recognized the need in the Slayer's eyes and he knew she wouldn't want her friends to see her in this state. Maybe not in that moment, but she would certainly feel the embarrassment of her vulnerability later, when she came back to her senses.

"Right, we need some kip, kiddies. We'll be back down in a few hours," her told the other occupants of the room before he got up and growled at the Slayer, whose demon immediately responded by sidling up to him.

He quickly manoeuvred her up the stairs and into the first room he found. He sighed in relief that the windows were properly covered, because he could smell the sunshine outside. The Slayer moved into the room further and turned her pleading, golden eyes to his.

Spike shifted back into game face and gave a low growl. She immediately came towards him and crouched down before him. He put his hand on her upper arms and coaxed her onto her feet. He pulled her tight to his body and licked her neck, growling in a series of low, even sounds to calm her down.

She mewled and purred and clung to him in a desperation that Spike had never expected from her and his rage towards his Grandsire went up another notch. If that Poofter ever got within his reach, he would regret the day he had ever laid a finger on this girl.

Rupert paced slowly as he listened to the others talk about Buffy and the shock of seeing her demon emerge. Even though he had felt the same when he had seen in the first time, now weeks ago, he had been prepared for it tonight and the sight of her in that visage was far less daunting than it had been the first time around. The thing that had surprised him most was the fact that she had remained in her seat beside Spike despite the heartbeats that had surrounded her while her demon was in control. It gave him hope for his Slayer to return to the fold, despite her changed nature.

He stopped pacing as he heard the growling and mewling form upstairs. He knew something had been wrong with Buffy as soon as Spike whisked her out of the room. He may not have known the vampire that well, but he recognized the worry that had been in his eyes. Now he was hovering near the stairs, unsure of where his place was to be in that moment. With his Slayer or down here where it was safe?

The sudden silence from upstairs helped him somewhat especially when it was followed by the opening and closing of the door and the appearance of Spike at the top of the stairs.

The vampire beckoned him to come upstairs and Rupert, relieved that he could finally do something other than pace, was quick to ascend the steps. The blond took him into another room and closed the door behind him before facing him with a grim expression on his face.

"Rupert, she's a right mess, there's no other way about it. She's half starved and in desperate need of some guidance so that she learns to control her demon."

"Has she spoken to you? Told you about what happened?"

"No. She's been in her demon form the whole time. I only managed to calm her down enough for her to go to sleep, but she hasn't shifted back yet."

"Why is that?"

"My guess is that the Slayer has pushed her demon down to protect the humans she ran across while she was on the run and now that it's out, it doesn't want to go back. She's not in command of it at the moment."

"Will she be able to control it? Eventually?"

"Yeah, think so. She needs some time and sustenance to help her heal and I need to stay with her to help her mesh her two halves into one whole."

"What now?"

"Right now she's fighting her demon half, which creates a frisson of sorts. Her human half is hardly even in touch with her Slayer abilities because she uses them to suppress the demon and the demon half is just that, demon. Elemental, animalistic, basic demon essence. There is no contact between the two and that contact makes a vampire, a vampire. I bet the Slayer managed to keep humans safe, but not herself. Had she been taught properly how to be a vampire, she would have been able to escape Angelus' hold on her own."

"So she needs to unite both sides?"

"Sort of. If she ever wishes to act as a Slayer and a functioning person again."

"How long will you need?"

"I don't know Rupes. I figured we'd let her sleep today, get some solids and liquids in her when she wakes up and if she manages to lose the demon, we take her back to ole SunnyD to help her with it."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Try to give her space. I know you and her chums downstairs want to know what's happened and how she's doing and all, but I really think she can't deal with the smothering right now. She mentioned to me that the heartbeats were making her thirsty. It's going to be tough on her to be around you for quite some time."

"I understand. Do you think it is a good idea if we get you a separate car? I can take the kids back to Sunnydale and you and Buffy can drive up there when you're ready."

"Sounds like a plan to me, Rupes."

"I am putting all my faith in you Spike. I really hope you can help her through this."

"I'll do my bloody best."

Rupert nodded and headed back down to relay the plan to the children that awaited him. He knew they wouldn't be happy, but he saw no better option for the time being.

Buffy awoke in a strange bed in a strange room, feeling very strange. She slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes, trying to remember what had happened to her, but all she really recalled was coming to the house with Spike and seeing her friends again. Only now she could hear their hearts thundering away and it had made he throat ache and her stomach rumble. She knew that if she focused on it too much she would lose control and she wanted to avoid that at all costs.

So she had told Spike and he had asked Giles for a couple of bags of blood. After that though, everything was fuzzy in her mind. Had she shown her demon face to her friends?

"Ah, you're up, pet," she heard Spike say from her left.

She swivelled around and hissed at him, startling herself in the process. Spike merely chuckled and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

"No worries, luv. I'm only here to help."

"What happened? I don't remember much after I saw you bite the bag. I didn't hurt them, did I?"

"No, pidge. Your demon came out, but she didn't hurt anyone. She did keep you under for a while, though. Been nearly thirty six hours."

"My demon was out for thirty six hours?" she squeaked, horrified that her face had been in demon form for so long.

"Yes, luv. It helped you get stronger, though. Your demon's fully fed and you look like your old self again."

"That can't happen again, Spike. I need to know what happens when the demon is out. I can't not know," she babbled, feeling panic rising in her chest.

Spike gave a low purr and she immediately felt the tightness in her chest give way. She looked at him in wonder, knowing on some basic level that he was superior to her and at the same time that he would not use his power against her, like her sire had done.

"You'll help me?" she asked quietly. "Like Dru said?"

"Yeah, I'll help you. You've got a long way to go yet, but I'll help you figure it out."

Buffy nodded slowly and felt a weight fall off her shoulders. Spike, her once so formidable enemy, would help her. If she wasn't in such a dire need, she might have laughed at the irony of needing his help. She frowned as she thought back to that other enemy that had helped her. Poor Drusilla had only tried to to the right thing and she got dusted for it.

"I'm so sorry about Dru," she whispered to her blonde companion.

"Not you fault. That's all on Angelus."

Buffy lowered her eyes to the sheets. If she hadn't allowed Angel to bed her, then Angelus wouldn't have gotten the chance to take Dru away from Spike nor would he have been able to turn the Slayer he once claimed to love. In a way she had created herself and the misery that her turning had brought her.

"Buffy," Spike snapped, "Listen to me and listen to me good. You are not to blame for what your bastard of a sire did to you. Do you hear me? There was no way on earth that you could have known about the curse and the trapdoor the gypsy's built in. To be completely honest, the bastards were right barmy by building in that clause. How does it punish the demon to be set free after experiencing happiness?"

Buffy's eyes snapped up at that. She never would have thought about that. Why curse someone to be tormented by his soul and then at the same time make sure that happiness unleashes the beast within? It didn't make any sense.

"Know what, we need to talk to Rupert's bird and ask her about that. She's part of the gypsy family that cursed the old wanker."

"Miss Calendar?"

"Yeah, smelled it on her when I saw here a few days before I was caught..." he trailed off, waving a hand to dismiss his statement. "Never mind that, we need to return to SunnyD and sort this mess out."

"What about the bloodlust?" Buffy asked, feeling unsettled at the rates things were going.

"Sweets, as long as you stay well fed and by my side, there'll be no need to worry about it. We'll practise controlling your demon while we drive up to Cali."

"Where are we now?"

"Somewhere in Arizona, not too far from Phoenix I believe."

She nodded. "Let's go then."

Spike smirked. "Take a deep breath for me and tell me how long we need to wait."

Buffy frowned, but inhaled deeply. Something in the air tickled the back of her tongue and she could taste ashes. "The sun's still up, but not for long. An hour?" she said, unsure of where the knowledge came from.

"Right you are, kitten. Your demon know this kind of thing instinctively and you'll need to tap into that knowledge to keep you animated, yeah?"

She nodded, relieved to know where the new knowledge came from. "Will you explain what I am while we're driving?"

"I'll tell you all that I know, but kitten, you are one of a kind so there are bound to be a few things I don't know."

"I can live with that."

Spike smiled and climbed onto the bed beside her, resting against the headboard.

"Spike?"

"Yeah, luv?" Spike murmured while he steered around a slow poke on the highway.

"You have a soul, don't you?"

He jerked at the steering wheel because he was so surprised at her question. "How'd you figure that, pet?"

"You smell different."

"I what now?"

"You smell different. Angelus and Darla and Dru, they all had the same sort of scent and now that I think of it the same sort of Slayer tinglies."

"And I don't?"

"No. You're different. Your tinglies are like Angel's."

"You know that Angel and Angelus are the same person, don't you, pet?"

"I know. It hurts to think that I ever willingly touched him and let him touch me. I need that distinction for my own sanity."

"Buffy?"

"Yeah?"

"I do have a soul."

"Did you get cursed?"

"Nah, I made a stupid bargain, but that's a story for another time. For now we're back home," he said before deftly steering the car up on the curb and smashing the 'welcome to Sunnydale' sign.

A/N: A new chapter that you'll hopefully enjoy. Thanks to everyone who reads the story and those who put it on their favorites or follow list.

Drop me a review if you feel like it :)