Authors Note: Welcome dear friends, new and old, to another Golden Duo Production. This one pushes our creative juices to the limit as we explore pairings neither of us have encountered before and we hope you can stretch your mind enough to follow along.
Summary: When Playwitch comes knocking, 10 of Wizarding England's finest step up to the challenge. Multiple Pairings: RV/CM/GW, HP/DM, LL/LM, RL/HG/SB, BW/LB/CW, FW/Verity/GW.
Playwitch's Top 10 Sexiest Wizards of the Year
Chapter One – On Assignment
The streetlights of London were shining dimly in the approaching dusk. The sprawling metropolis was bustling with its usual early-evening traffic, commuters trying to rush home to their significant others or their pets and their dinners before watching television and going to bed. Horns honked as some intrepid driver lost their cool as another missed their exit off the round-about, thus creating confusion and more than a few screeching tires. It was the way of the world as they - those blissfully-ignorant commuters - knew it.
Twenty-seven floors above the mass of vehicular confusion sat three young women. They were staring at a bottle of amber liquid that sat in front of them, the dim light above them the only thing stopping them from plunging into the darkness that had fallen over the rest of the conference room where they sat. Three glasses, half-filled, sat in front of each woman, and as one took a sip, the others' eyes drifted to the piece of parchment that sat next to the bottle of alcohol.
"How the fuck did we get roped into this?"
The brunette and blonde jumped at the words that issued from the redhead. They looked from their friend down at the piece of parchment again, set on drinking to the point where the ten names that were sitting on the list would blur to an unrecognizable mess of black ink. The redhead, however, seemed intent on avoiding the sitting, brooding, and slow descent into drunkenness as she picked the list up for the third time that evening.
"I think it's because we know all of them," Romilda Vane said, sweeping her dark brown curls over her shoulder as her brown eyes flicked from the list up to Ginny Weasley's freckled face.
"We don't know all of them," Lavender Brown argued, adjusting the ribbon in her hair before taking another, large sip of her firewhiskey. "I mean, we know a lot of them..."
"Which brings me back to the question: how the fuck did we get roped into this?" Ginny asked, becoming slightly savage. "Do they realize that four of these guys are my brothers?"
"I did register that, yes," Lavender said vaguely, reaching for the bottle.
Ginny slapped her hand away.
"Focus, Lav," she said sternly. "We need for figure out how to ask these guys to pose for us."
"You'd think they'd be honored by the fact that Playwitch wants to photograph them at all - let alone in the nude," Romilda murmured as she finished what was left of her whiskey. "It's not like we ask just anyone to be in the Top 10 Sexiest Wizards of the Year issue."
"Can I just reiterate that four of these men are my brothers?" Ginny repeated. "I'm a photographer. I've been on some pretty intense photo shoots. But I am telling you right now, if they expect me to photograph my brothers naked, they've got another thing coming!"
Lavender sighed, rubbing her face with a tired hand.
"Let's try and talk about this for a second from a less personal perspective," she said, uncharacteristically-businesslike in comparison to her two friends. "They're only giving us fifteen pages for this - that's not enough to do an individual shoot for each of them."
"We also have to worry about the cover shoot, though, blissfully, they'll all be at least partially clothed for that," Ginny said, running a frustrated hand through her hair.
"And I really don't feel the need to sit down with every single one of them to write a 250-word superficial blurb about their favorite color or something - it wastes space," Romilda added.
"Suppose we put them into categories," Lavender said, taking the list from Ginny and surveying it. "Three different categories, three different group shoots, and we can do individual photos with them that same day. It spaces the shoots out more and gives us fewer people to work with at any given moment."
Romilda nodded.
"I can deal with that. Then I can actually write a full article for each group and pretend I'm a real journalist."
"I'm not photographing my brothers," Ginny said stubbornly, her mind currently on one track.
Lavender rolled her eyes.
"I'll ask someone else to photograph your brothers. Though I don't understand, it's not like you haven't seen them..."
"It's one thing to catch a glimpse after a shower, it's quite another taking pictures where they have to leer at you!" Ginny cried.
"Alright, alright, you can do the other six. Now, how do we divide them up?"
Romilda grabbed the list and looked at it.
"We have a fair few Quidditch players here. Draco Malfoy plays for the Falmouth Falcons, Cormac McLaggen plays for Puddlemere United, and Harry Potter plays for the Tutshill Tornadoes. Plus, Charlie, Fred, and George Weasley all played Quidditch at Hogwarts."
"Boggles my mind how Harry and Draco are able to keep up a relationship when they play on separate professional Quidditch teams," Lavender mused.
"They were absolutely awful when they were both playing for England last year," Ginny said, rolling her eyes for effect. "I thought Oliver Wood was going to kill them both, they were so distracted by each other."
"I still don't understand how..."
"Ladies," Romilda said, snapping them both back to attention. "We need to figure this out tonight, because we have to start working on this tomorrow."
"Yes yes, fine fine," Ginny grumbled, taking the list back. Then she sighed. "Well, why don't we put my brothers together and call the shoot 'Battle of the Redheads' or something? Therefore, you'll only need one day to get all four of them in and I don't have to shoot it."
Lavender nodded.
"That sounds fair. Although, I quite like the title 'Sibling Rivalry'. What do you think?"
"Yes, whatever," Ginny said, deciding against her anti-alcohol stance in the face of the idea of her brothers as sexual beings and reaching for the whiskey. She shot Romilda a glare when the brunette tried to take it away and, acquiescing, Romilda let Ginny pour herself another glass before refilling her own.
"Why don't we put Cormac, Harry, and Draco in a shoot and call it 'Quidditch Hotties'?" Lavender asked after a moment of contemplation.
Ginny arched an eyebrow.
"Quidditch Hotties?" she asked skeptically, not particularly impressed by the title.
"It's to the point, isn't it?"
"Yes, though I don't suspect anyone will ever accuse you of being vague, Lavender."
"That just leaves Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Lucius Malfoy," Lavender said, choosing to ignore Ginny's remark. "And I was actually thinking it might be interesting to do a father-son article."
"I wouldn't," Ginny said. "Draco and Lucius don't exactly see eye-to-eye. Lucius isn't exactly thrilled about Draco's sexuality."
"I think most of the female population isn't thrilled about Draco or Harry's sexuality," Lavender countered. "But I don't suppose we should make this any more difficult than it's already going to be."
"Alright then. That still leaves Sirius, Remus, and Lucius, and I don't understand why they're on this list. They're a bit old, aren't they?" Romilda asked.
"Oh, those men will be sexy at any age," Ginny with a sigh. "Just ask Hermione Granger. She and Remus have been married for almost four years and she still can't get enough of him."
"That's it!" Lavender cried, slapping Ginny congenially on the back, causing the surprised redhead to spit her whiskey all over Romilda.
"What's it? Hermione and Remus?" Romilda asked confusedly, wiping firewhiskey off her face.
"No! 'Sexy at Any Age'! That's the article for Sirius, Remus, and Lucius."
The three looked at each other and broke into identical grins.
"We have a plan," Lavender said. "Which is better than sitting around here drinking ourselves into oblivion, isn't it?"
"I still don't see why we can't do both," Ginny said. She downed her drink before cringing slightly. "So who gets to tell the boys?"
They all looked at each other before Lavender and Romilda both pointed to Ginny. The redhead's eyes darkened.
"I hate you both," she said as she poured herself another glass.
Grimmauld Place had undergone a massive renovation over the years and Ginny was still not used to walking into the house without a slight bit of trepidation that something dark and sinister would jump out to maul her. But thanks to the cunning brilliance of Hermione's powers and Draco's impeccable taste in interior decorating, the screaming banshee that had been Mrs. Black's portrait had been removed and stored in the unused basement, and Grimmauld Place had been transformed back to a grand, gleaming palace.
Without all the dark artifacts, of course.
Warm laughter came from the kitchen as Ginny – sobered slightly from her late-afternoon drinking session – readied herself to face the inhabitants. Harry and Draco had invited Sirius to move back in once Hermione had returned him from the Veil, and in turn Sirius had invited Hermione, Remus and Ron. Like the summer before her fourth year of Hogwarts, Ginny was once again in a house that sighed with a plethora of occupants.
"Ginger! This is indeed a pleasant surprise," Sirius said with a sexy smirk, using his nickname for her as Ginny walked into the kitchen. Hermione, who had been standing at the stove finishing dinner, smiled warmly at her friend.
"Hey," Ginny greeted awkwardly, staring at the happy scene before her as the men all waited for their evening meal. Oddly, Hermione had fallen into a very domestic role and although she still worked for far too many hours in the week, she took her duties as the only capable female in the house very seriously. She had even managed to get Mrs Weasley to show her how to cook.
Ginny took a deep breath of the familiar chicken and pasta recipe she had loved her whole life. Hermione also said that cooking was a lot like potions class, it was all about following the recipe. The youngest Weasley was convinced Hermione only cooked so she had an excuse to buy even more books.
"What brings you to our humble abode so late in the evening?" Draco drawled, his chair turned to the side so that Harry could give him a foot massage while they waited for dinner. Harry seemed content with this and Ginny was once again struck by just how whipped the Boy-Who-Lived was.
"I-uh..." she stuttered, wishing she hadn't had quite so much to drink earlier. All of her senses may have come in handy.
"Are you hungry? There is plenty to go 'round," Hermione offered, pulling the pot off the stove and waving her wand at the cabinet above her head to set the plates on the table.
"Uh, no. Thanks anyway, Mione, I just came by to give you all some news," she finally got out, wishing she had bought at least one of the other women with her for support.
She wasn't normally one to get embarrassed by situations, but this one in particular was unusual, even for her. It was hard to imagine telling her ex-boyfriend, ex-professor, an ex-convict, and the man she loathed from birth that a widely-circulated magazine thought they were all sexy. Not to mention the fact that her best friend happened to be married to her ex-professor…well, aside from it being incredibly incestuous, it was also quite awkward.
She needed another drink.
"You're pregnant?" Harry grinned, looking up from Draco's pale foot.
"No!"
"Getting married?" Hermione teased, knowing Ginny had been single for far longer than either of them cared to admit.
"You better not be," Ron growled from behind a Quidditch Magazine.
"No, it has to do with work," she said.
"You've been fired, and are now faced with eviction so you need a place to stay?" Draco drawled, but a distinct glint of mischief glittered in his eyes. She had to admit, Harry had been a good influence on the pure-blood snob.
"No, it's not…why would they fire me?"
"Well, that spread on Oliver Wood last month was practically porn," Harry replied.
"It was not! It was tasteful art," she defended, having the good grace to blush in memory of photographing the Puddlemere Keeper in his Olympic-sized swimming pool following his promotion to captain. It was risqué, but certainly not porn.
"He's been having to drink Polyjuice before he leaves the house these last few weeks. Poor man can't even step out for a pint without being assaulted by women." Harry shuddered slightly.
Ginny suppressed her grin at her ex-boyfriend's obvious distaste of the situation, and she wondered how he would react when it came to being his turn to escape the throng of female admirers. She hoped Hermione could stockpile enough ingredients for all the men about to be involved.
"So what's your news?" Sirius asked, giving Hermione a grateful smile when she ladled the creamy pasta on to the plate in front of him.
"You've been promoted?" Hermione guessed, kissing Remus's cheek when he squeezed her arm in thanks. The couple stared at each other for a long moment before Ron's pointed 'Ahem!' bought them out of their love-filled daze.
"Sort of," Ginny said, taking a deep breath and leaning against the door frame for support, once again regretting her ingestion of alcohol. "Lav, Romilda and I have just been given next months assignment. A fifteen-page center spread, in fact, and the cover shot."
"Oh, that's brilliant!" Hermione cried, beaming as she served herself and sat down beside her husband.
"Congratulations," Harry agreed.
"That's not all," she continued, cringing at the squeak to her voice.
"Oh? You got a pay rise?" Draco asked, pale eyebrow raised to an angle she was sure he practiced in the mirror.
"I wish," she scoffed. "Actually, we got the top 10 sexiest wizards contact."
There, nice and quick.
The table was silent a moment before Draco spoke.
"Is that all? Whose in it this year? That Auror Pigmindy again?"
Well, maybe not so quick.
"No, he hasn't been the same since that splinching accident," Hermione said, blushing a little when everyone turned to look at her. "What? He was a good looking man," she defended, before returning to her pasta with single-minded focus.
"Actually, its you," Ginny breathed.
"Who, me?" Draco asked, his familiar smirk crossing his features.
Ginny gulped.
"Well, yes. And your father, and Harry and Remus and Sirius and of course Bill, Charlie and the Twins. Oh, and Cormac McLaggen," she finished with a blush.
The table was once again stunned to silence before Hermione burst out laughing. Remus soon followed with his low, gravelly chuckle, and before Ginny knew it they were all laughing hysterically, as if she had told a fantastic joke.
"You missed me," Ron chuckled from his end, for once his food forgotten.
Ginny bit her lip and looked sheepish.
"Sorry Ron, you didn't make the cut," she replied.
Draco was the first to sober, looking at the uncomfortable red-head standing in the door way with close scrutiny.
"You're serious?" he asked.
She nodded slowly, avoiding the sharp gazes that were coming her way.
"How?" Harry asked, looking to Draco and then back to Ginny.
"We're going to do it in three separate shoots; put you into groups, as it were. We didn't choose the candidates, we were just given them," she said quickly.
"You mean, I wasn't chosen?" Ron asked, his eyes bugging out with the reality that four of his brothers and his best friend were all involved and he was left out.
Ginny shrugged.
"Sorry."
"This isn't some hoax Fred and George put you up to is it?" Sirius asked, sharing a look with Remus as if neither could believe they were considered 'sexy' by the female magical population.
Following the war, Order members were revered as heroes, therefore none of them had escaped the spotlight, but while Sirius enjoyed the fact that he still had a charm with the ladies and Remus definitely enjoyed the fact that he could make his wife's toes curl, neither had been particularly comfortable with the title of 'heartthrob' that some papers and magazines had thrust upon them. It was a small price to pay, however, for living in a free world.
"Nope, and I haven't told them yet either."
"You want to photograph us all... naked?" Draco asked, pursing his lips for a moment before giving her a classic Malfoy stare-down.
"I don't want to, but yes, the magazine does," she replied, meeting his stare admirably despite the fact that she was blushing to her roots.
The table seemed to process this in silence, broken only by Ron's muttered, "I bleeding wasn't bloody well chosen."
Draco turned to Harry, brushing a chunk of wayward fringe from his lover's eyes and smirking.
"I wonder who will come out better on camera," he teased.
"Oh, you always come out better than me," Harry grinned, winking.
"Do they have a choice?" Hermione asked, frowning at Remus who was still watching Ginny with grim intent. Sirius seemed to have fallen in to an odd silence as well.
"They can refuse, but it was a reader poll. The results have already gone to print. We can just publish an old photo of you I suppose..." she trailed off, not wanting to be the one to have to explain to her boss why the candidates refused to be filmed.
"How were you planning on doing them? The photos, I mean?" Sirius asked.
"They would be tasteful, of course," Ginny said quickly, more than happy to get to a more technical ground. "No full-frontal nudity or anything. I mean, our readers would happy with just a glimpse of skin if that's all you'd comfortable in."
There was a laughter to his gray eyes that forewarned a joke she was probably not drunk enough to hear, so she pressed on:
"You, Remus and Lucius would be some studio shots – black and white I was thinking," she continued. Then she turned to Harry and Draco, who were still making eyes at each other. "You two," she said pointedly, heaving their attention back to her. "Have been paired with Cormac. We've already booked the Golden Snitch Stadium. Though we were thinking of using the showers instead of the field itself..." she trailed off.
"And Bill, Charlie and the Twins?" Ron asked, his teeth clenched together in anger.
"Charlie can't leave the reserve; we've already contacted him. Bill is going to be in Europe already on business, so we figured Lavender, Fred, and George would floo to Romania in a couple of days. She was thinking about a 'shirts versus skins' Quidditch match," she replied.
"You're not going to Romania?" Sirius asked.
"No, I think there's something intrinsically creepy about photographing your own brothers in the buff, thank you very much," she said, regaining some of her usual wit with a grin.
"It doesn't sound so bad..." Remus said slowly, looking to his wife, who had gone a mottled shade of red.
"Not if all of us have to endure it," Sirius agreed.
"Could be fun," Harry added, his emerald eyes smoldering as he looked at Draco as if to say he would do it just to see his lover in the shower.
Ginny rolled her eyes at the display, but regained her focus as she realized that no one was saying 'no'.
"So…you'll do it?" she asked, crossing her fingers behind her back.
"As long as things don't get too out of hand, sure," Sirius agreed, grinning and turning to Remus, who was sharing a silent exchange with Hermione.
"I…er…I think I'll need some time," Remus said, looking back at Ginny.
"That's fine," Ginny said, looking pleadingly at Hermione. "But please…this is a big deal for us and we were really only handed it because we know you guys and they thought it would be easier."
"Not everyone has said 'yes' yet, have they?" Hermione asked.
"Well…everyone that I've asked so far," Ginny replied. "Which has basically been Bill and Charlie, because we needed to set up where the photo shoot would be. Most awkward floo calls of my life, by the way," she added, which caused Hermione to grin in spite of herself.
"Come on, 'Mione," Sirius said, putting his arm around the younger woman's shoulders. "What's the worst that can happen, eh? Some hot young thing sees Moony and decides she wants him instead? You can hex her out of her bobby socks before she gets within ten feet of him."
Hermione turned to the raven-haired man with a cocked eyebrow.
"Bobby socks?" she asked simply.
He grinned.
"I knew that would get you away from concentrating on the 'hot young thing' part."
"Hermione knows I don't want a hot young thing anyway, 'cuz I've got her," Remus said stoutly.
There was a pause before the rest of the table burst out laughing again as Hermione gave her husband a patient – albeit annoyed – look. Re-evaluating his words in his head, Remus flushed slightly and took his wife's hand.
"I…I didn't mean it like that…" he stuttered.
Hermione shook her head.
"If you want to do the shoot, by all means," she sniffed. "But just know that I will be accompanying you."
"Brilliant!" Sirius said with a smirk. "So it's settled."
"Right," Ginny said softly. "Can't wait."
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