Authors Note: As many of you have probably figured out, that big, ugly, time eating monster we like to call real life managed to catch up with us. Since our last update the Golden Duo have taken a tour of Australia's east coast and some of this was even written whilst on location. With that said, we cannot apologize enough for our extended absence, and hope you find it within in you to return to us to read the next installment of Playwitch. Much thanks goes to Darksaber3434 for the uber quick beta read, it was much appreciated.

Chapter Five – Sexy at Any Age – Part II

Sirius, Hermione and Remus

"Ginny said they disappeared into a broom cupboard."

"A broom cupboard?"

"Clearly a romantic, that Malfoy."

"I hardly think it was his idea, Sirius."

"I hardly think he was complaining, though, kitten."

Sirius sent the bookworm a knowing smirk, taking a sip of the third glass of Firewhisky that dangled in the ornate crystal glass from his tattooed hand. Hermione sat across from him, legs tucked under her body, a similar glass in her petite grip as she leaned comfortably against her husband. Remus's long arm was slung protectively around her frame, his own Firewhisky sitting on the table next to the couch.

The street lamps of Grimmauld Place were already burning brightly by the time the three of them had all trooped back through the door, weary from the day at the Playwitch studios. The house was dark and the light of the waxing moon filtered through the drapes as they had wordlessly entered the library, Hermione giving an easy wave to the fireplace.

Neither man paid much attention as a fire sprang to life from the ashes.

Sirius had watched as his best friend and his best friend's wife flopped simultaneously onto the couch, rolling his eyes as Remus's arm immediately swooped around Hermione's body and pulled her close to him. Though ecstatic that his quiet, unassuming friend had found such a deep love in a wonderful woman, Sirius had always found it almost depressing how happy they were sometimes.

Not that he himself would have ever wanted to enter into such a committed relationship.

Now sitting with them, however, Sirius found that he always fell into an easy, comfortable conversation, which was more than he could say about anyone else he happened to live with. Life with Harry and Draco was always somewhat operatic, consisting of emotional ups and downs that could only really come from a couple from drastically different backgrounds.

And Ron and Tonks…well, Sirius felt it best to know as little as possible about the goings on between those two.

Hermione and Remus, in spite of their sometimes-nauseating public displays of affection, were exactly what Sirius needed in friends. Witty, intelligent, and tolerant of his admittedly-immature behaviour, the two could sit with him through anything.

Including a night of heavy drinking and gossip.

"I would have never thought Lucius and Luna would be good together, but it does make a weird sort of sense," Hermione said, her words slurring slightly as she took another sip of her potent beverage. "After all, they're both very…blonde."

Sirius barked a laugh.

"Blonde?" he asked.

"Yeah. The hair colour. Very…yellow."

"Darling, I really don't think the overlying magnetism between the two stemmed from a similar hair colour," Remus said with a soft chuckle, kissing Hermione affectionately on the forehead. "They are two exceptionally intelligent human beings, and Luna is just…er…peculiar enough to keep Lucius interested. I had always thought him a bit jaded."

"I was impressed he agreed to get his kit off for Ginger, to be honest," Sirius said, knocking back another glass of Firewhisky and topping up with a flick of his wand. "After all, he is a bit of a poncy ass."

"So says the man who had to be dragged from the house this morning," Hermione replied, flicking her own wand to top up her glass.

"Well…it was early. Who on earth wakes up at 9 o'clock in the morning?"

"Most of the world, Pads," Remus replied, shaking his head with a smile.

"Yeah, well, I don't see the point. Nothing good happens before sunset and if you wake up too early you'll be too tired to have any fun."

"You got to take your clothes off in front of a camera today, Sirius. During daylight hours. And you looked like you were having a blast," Hermione argued.

"You would think that posing nude for a camera would be easy," Sirius stated. "But in reality, kitten, you have no idea how hard it actually is."

Hermione scoffed.

"Hard? If by hard, you mean lazing on a couch flexing your muscles and looking gorgeous, then yes, Sirius, I have complete sympathy for just difficult your life is."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow.

"Gorgeous, you say?"

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Of course you'd pick up on that part of the statement."

"Honestly, kitten, it takes a lot of effort to stand there naked for long periods of time. I don't think you could last two minutes, let alone two hours."

Remus, whose head had been lolling against the back of the couch, looked up at his best friend.

"Pads…" he said warningly, noting the tension in his wife's body.

"No, seriously. The woman takes issue with having her picture taken fully clothed at a family dinner, let alone fully disrobed in all her naked glory. Not that I have a problem with that, kitten," Sirius added with a lecherous wink.

"So you think I can't do it?" Hermione asked, pulling herself out of her husband's arms and sitting on the edge of the couch, her eyes focused on the sprawled animagus.

"Shall I get my camera?" Sirius asked, a coy grin playing on his face.

"No, no need," Hermione stated. "After all, I don't think it's the pictures you think I have a problem with. You think I have a problem with my own naked body, which is complete bollocks." She turned to Remus, who had been looking between the two in amusement. "Isn't that right, darling?"

Remus patted her thigh.

"You're a right regular nudist, honey," he said placating.

Hermione shot Sirius a triumphant grin.

"See? Not a problem in the world with taking my clothes off, thank you very much."

Sirius's easy grin broadened.

"Prove it."

The two looked at each other unblinkingly, challenge clear in their defiant faces. Slowly, Hermione stood, swaying slightly as she tried to keep her balance. Eyes still locked on Sirius's face, she gripped the hem of her t-shirt and tugged it over her head with purpose. It fell to the floor, revealing her slim frame and apple-printed bra to the two men in the room.

Sirius grinned at his best friend.

"An apple a day, eh, Moony?" he teased.

"Just wait til you see her knickers," was Remus's easy reply.

"Matching?" Sirius asked, his eyes now focused on the witch who was struggling out of her pants.

"Always," Remus replied, admiring the same drunken display.

Hermione undid the clasp of her jeans, swaying a little as her head swum and a drunken little giggle escaped her. She began to swish her hips gently from side to side, regaining her equilibrium enough to cast a broad wink at her husband before returning her attention to his riveted best friend.

Her fingers teased along her stomach, her palms cupping her hips as she slowly revealed the tiny scrap of apple-printed fabric. Sirius watched the play of her fingers on her smooth, tanned flesh and caught her biting her lip as she took note of where his attention was focused.

She shimmied a little as she reached the chair he sat in, slowly lowering the denim down her thighs and bending at the waist to push them the rest of the way down, giving the animagus ample view down her cleavage and the werewolf her arse.

"Oh dear Merlin…" Sirius murmured as he watched, fixated, as the bushy-haired witch encountered some minor problems figuring out how to remove her jeans without falling face-first into Sirius's lap, the result of which had Sirius's eyes glued to the bounce of her full, pert breasts.

"Moony, you are a lucky bastard," Sirius said, sparing a glance up at his best friend and finding the werewolf gazing hungrily at his wife's apple-covered bottom.

"Don't I know it," Remus replied, licking his lips involuntarily as Hermione finally wiggled out of her jeans and kicked them away unceremoniously before slowly standing up again. Sirius could see the effects of her firewhisky consumption as her eyes lost focus for a second before she looked back at him with a toothy grin.

"Who says I can't get my kit off in front of people?" she said triumphantly, showing off some provocative poses that Sirius was impressed she could muster in her inebriated state.

"Now now, darling," Remus growled softly, his eyes starting to glow amber as he watched his wife. "It hardly seems fair. You got to see us without any clothing…"

Both Sirius and Hermione looked at the werewolf, but only one of them – Sirius – was shocked by Remus's brazen suggestion. The pureblood saw something pass between the two – a habit he had always found rather annoying – and before he could even open his mouth to comment about it, Hermione had shucked her bra and panties and was standing stark naked in front of him.

Sirius, struck dumb by the rapidity with which the brilliant know-it-all had disrobed, blinked before blurting out the only thing he could think of at the moment:

"Where'd the hair go?"

There was a moment of silence before Hermione started to giggle. Glancing up at her, Sirius saw her trying to hold back her laughter but when his eyes met hers she gave an almighty snort, which had her dissolving into mindless laughter. Remus, too, had started to chuckle, and it wasn't until several moments later – when Sirius had finally wrapped his head around what he had actually said – that the two calmed enough to look at their friend.

"You're quite observant, Sirius," Hermione said with a smirk that had Sirius's already-attentive member perking up even more. "I've always admired that about you."

"I…you have?"

"Yes," she said, sparing a glance at her husband before slinking over to Sirius, straddling his hips and sliding into his lap. "I've always loved the way you have the ability to undress a woman completely with your eyes, picking out all of their most attractive features and concentrating on them as if you know that the woman is beautiful – no matter what."

"Er…" Sirius said, feeling his cock straining against his dark denim jeans. Her body weight felt delicious against him, and her skin called to his hands.

He, however, made no move to touch her as he tilted his head to look past her at his best friend.

"Um…Moony?" he squeaked when Hermione twisted her hips so her heat was directly above his dick. "Not that I…well, that is to say…I'm not complaining, exactly…but…well…your wife's in my lap, mate and…I mean…a man only has so much self-control…"

"Sirius," Remus said, standing and walking over towards them. "Hermione has wanted this for quite some time, actually."

"I…she…wanted what, exactly?"

"You," Hermione whispered in his ear before leaning back against Remus's body.

Her husband kissed her lovingly on the head, his hands sliding up her body to cup her breasts in his large hands, kneading them gently as she let her eyes close and her mouth open, purring slightly under his soft movements.

"We've talked about this," Remus said to Sirius, his fingers starting to pluck at Hermione's nipples. "She wanted to experiment with a third person. I would have preferred a woman, of course, but she thought she might like having a night with you instead, and in the end, I've learned that I really can't deny her anything."

"Kiss me," Hermione breathed to her husband, and Sirius felt his cock jolt at the truly erotic picture of the couple in front of him. Hermione's body was arched as Remus continued to tease her breasts, his lips sliding smoothly over hers, his kiss dominating her until she shivered in submission.

"Wait," Sirius said, shaking his head out of the images of him surging into his best friend's wife's tight body. "You want me…to fuck your wife?"

"Must you make things so vulgar?" Hermione asked with a sigh, her head leaning back on Remus's shoulder as he sank to his knees behind her, allowing her more comfort.

"Well, barring another explanation…"

"I want both of you to fuck me," Hermione said, eyes shining with a mixture of drink and desire. "I want to feel both of you inside me."

Sirius's brow furrowed.

"And…the logistics of this would be…what, exactly? I mean, Moony's like my brother, and…"

"Trust me, Pads, when I say that you and I will remain at an extremely acceptable distance the entire time. Neither you nor I want something to slip and go somewhere it shouldn't," Remus replied dryly.

"But how will I…"

"Stop. Thinking," Hermione whispered before slowly leaning towards him, arms coiling around his neck. "All I need is a simple yes…or no…"

Sirius took one look into her deep hazel orbs and knew that Remus was right.

He really couldn't deny her anything.

"Yes…" he breathed as he felt Hermione's whisky-scented breath on his face. She gave a half-lidded, lopsided grin and kissed the tip of his nose gently.

"Good," she said, biting her lip as her eyes trailed down his body and back up. "Now strip."

He arched an eyebrow.

"I've already taken my clothes off once today. Why don't you do it for me this time?"

The same sexy smirk appeared on her lips and she slowly stood.

"My pleasure," she said, bending down seductively and tugging at the buttons on his black silk shirt. Remus, who had taken a few paces back, watched Hermione's arse as it swayed slightly, her hair tumbling freely over her back and hanging by her face. Sirius allowed a hand to come up and tuck a wayward golden-brown curl behind her ear, savouring the velvet softness of the skin on her neck and cheek.

"Is it bad that I've fantasized about your lips on my cock, kitten?" he asked, flicking his eyes at Remus to make sure that his words were appropriate.

It didn't take long for Sirius to realize that Remus's attention was far removed from him. Hermione's hips seemed to be gyrating in a dance designed to torture her husband in the best possible way; all the while her ink-stained fingers nimbly parted his shirt before moving to his black leather belt.

"Funny," Hermione purred, "I don't think any of the fantasies I've had about my lips around your cock have been bad at all, quite the opposite in fact."

She looked up briefly from where those sure digits pulled the expensive leather from its last loop and gave him a teasing smile. She kept honeyed eyes locked to his as she slipped her hand inside the tight denim at his hips, licking her lips provocatively all the while.

Sirius felt his breath catch as Hermione bent even closer, her lips making contact with his tattooed chest, her whisky laced breath hot against his skin. She worked her way down, tasting and licking, pausing at spots and rushing through others – all the while her fingers moved too, the subtle movements bringing her closer and closer to where he wanted her to be.

When she reached his naval, her tongue darted out to swirl a pattern, a moan escaping her lips as her eyes fluttered shut.

"Remus," she whispered, bringing Sirius's attention screaming back to the other man in the room.

He looked up to find his best friend naked, standing behind his wife, his head thrown back and his eyes closed. One of his scarred hands gripped her hip as he surged into her body again and Sirius suddenly understood that the source of her moans was not caused by the mere thought of where her mouth was headed.

Hermione started moving again, further down to where his cock now strained painfully against the jeans that were entirely too tight for this situation. He shifted his hips to relieve some tension, inadvertently bringing her face closer to where he wanted her to be.

As if sensing his growing discomfort her hand finally stopped its idle movements and slipped further in, gripping his cock with confidence before pulling it from its denim prison. With a groan he sagged back into the armchair, some of the tension that had been thrumming through his body leaving in a gush of pleasant sensations. Using the hand that wasn't bracing herself against the thrusting man behind her, she helped him shimmy out of the jeans.

Hot breath washed over him, causing muscles to clench again in anticipation. He gripped fistfuls of her unruly curls, fighting the urge to guide those moist pink lips to his straining erection. Hermione didn't require guidance though, sensing his growing urgency and darting out her tongue to take one tantalizing swipe of the sensitive heart shaped head.

Sirius threw his head back into the leather armchair, his breath gushing out as she took all of him into her mouth, sliding her moist lips around him until she could go no further.

"Fuck, kitten," he gasp, unable to articulate just how much better the reality was than his now admittedly hazy fantasies.

Hermione grinned around his length, meeting his eyes as she slowly relaxed her throat and took him in another inch, the sensations become almost unbearable.

"Stop teasing him," Remus rumbled from behind her, his hands worshipping her as he stroked in and out, watching the display with lust filled eyes. Sirius forced his eyes away from the talented witch to watch his best friends reaction, but it was clear that the werewolf was focussed only on his wife and the pleasure she was gaining from being wedged between the two of them.

It wasn't until Hermione relaxed her throat even further, sliding her mouth all the way down to his base that he realized just what his best friend meant by teasing. She drew her tongue up his entire length as she slowly rose, sucking hard as she reached the tip once again. From there she managed fulfilled every one of his fantasies and even created some new ones.

She licked, sucked, grazed and swirled her way up and down his shaft. Her fingers played down his thighs and cupped his balls; her breasts swayed inches above him as she moved her body, brushing and teasing the both of them. All of these factors bought about an orgasm that promised to be quicker and more intense than he had experienced in a very long time.

As if sensing how close he was, Hermione began to slow down and pull back. Her own body shuddered above him as Remus did something that seemed to hit a good spot and she moaned, releasing the cock from her mouth with a pop.

"I want you," she whispered, closing her eyes as another shudder ripped through her slight frame.

Sirius was unsure just who she was speaking too, but became distracted from the thought when she stood shakily, turning her back to him to face her husband, kissing the much taller man with such passion and intimacy that the pureblood began to wonder if the game was over and he should be making a quick exit.

Her small hand groped behind her moments before she moved to sit down. Sirius caught on to her intentions after a slightly drunken moment of incomprehension and quickly reached up to guide her, all the while scooting down into the chair for a more comfortable position.

The moment she slid down onto his now aching shaft they both groaned. Sirius had thought having her mouth around him was heaven, but this, this was pure paradise.

"So tight, so hot," he groaned into her ear, wrapping his arms around her waist as he surged up further into her body, feeling her tighten around him in response.

She leant forward in his arms, reaching out to bring Remus closer, his hips now at her eyelevel. Remus's gasp echoed off the heavily dressed walls as she sucked him into her mouth, bouncing between them, creating a rhythm.

Sirius saw stars as her tight muscles clenched and moved over his length, her thighs on either side of his causing a delicious friction and the occasional bump of knees against Remus's reminding him that this would not be how the three of them would be finishing the night.

"Oh God," he heard her moan thickly, when he changed the angle, hitting the spot he had been aiming for deep within her.

"Do you want to cum?" Remus asked, his hands tangled in her hair as he watched her swallow him over and over again, gently guiding her each time she became distracted from one of Sirius's thrusts.

Sirius had the inkling that this was a bit of a loaded question, and one she had been asked several times before. Remus was, after all, an alpha wolf and she was quite possibly one of the bossiest witches he had come across, so it wouldn't be surprising if they spent much of the time in the bedroom trying to dominate the other. He could just imagine the little minx had enough tricks to drive a man insane.

Both men watched as she shook her head, lapping at Remus's sensitive head before replying with defiant breathlessness "No," before returning to her enthusiastic bouncing, driving the three of them wild.

Sirius snaked his hand down her front, brushing over her nipple briefly before sliding his hand down to the smooth apex of her thighs, marvelling at the softness of her skin there. His fingers found her open to him, her tight nub wet with arousal as he continued to thrust into her body.

Arching her back, she cried out again, responding to the added pleasure.

"Are you going to cum?" Sirius asked, rephrasing her husband's question, thrusting hard several times before easing off and letting her answer.

"Not until…" she gasped, pulling away from Remus to throw her head back, impaling herself deeply as her body clung to his, "… I have both of you," she finished with a groan, slowing down until she came to a stop.

Breathing heavily, bodies quivering, they manoeuvred to the plush rug that took up much of the hardwood floor. Sirius didn't know how much more he could take, but he welcomed the short respite as they stretched out on the thick cloth, Hermione turning into Remus's arms and kissing him deeply as she let her own body calm down.

The kiss turned into petting and it was only a matter of minutes before the werewolf had rolled onto his back, spreading her legs wide as he surged neatly inside her. Sirius watched the gentle rhythm and the familiar way in which they moved together before deciding it was now or never to give the witch what she wanted.

He moved behind them, running his hands down her back until he reached the swell of her backside. Muttering a spell he was surprised he even remembered, he made eye contact with Remus over her shoulder and the couple once again slowed to a stop.

The initial penetration was awkward and uncomfortable, the two of them almost too large to take the petite woman at the same time. Her encouraging moans and soft sighs eventually saw them into a position that was as comfortable as they were going to get and before long the gentle rocking motion they had found gave way steady cadence of push and shove.

Her sighs became cries, which gave way to soft screams of delight, as her body tensed and tightened between them.

"That's it baby," Remus encouraged from below them, his own voice sounding strained.

Sirius wasn't sure if any more words were exchanged between the couple, as he felt his own familiar release begin, causing his stomach muscles to bunch and the rest of his body to tense up. He had to fight not to thrust too deeply into the woman beneath him as he hunched over her, his fingernails biting into the rug. Sweet oblivion clouded his vision and only in the back of his mind did he register that it wasn't just his own cries that bounced off the walls of the ancient library.

It was a short time later when he pulled his weight off of her, dropping limply onto his back as he stared up at the ceiling.

"Bloody hell," he breathed, his chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. There was a sliver of light peeking through the windows. Dawn was approaching slowly. It threw into staggering clarity just what exactly had occurred between the three of them over the past hours.

A bubble of laughter erupted from his right. Turning his head, he saw a pair of whisky-coloured eyes gazing at him laughingly, an impish smile on her face. Her body was still unabashedly bare, though curled comfortably against the languid frame of her longer, leaner husband.

"You planned this, didn't you?" Sirius asked, the clarity releasing the images of the evening and the practiced manner everything seemed to have taken place.

"Planned it? How could I have possibly planned it, Mr. Black?" Hermione responded, though she was grinning broadly as she snuggled deeper into the embrace of the man behind her.

Sneaking a look at his best friend, Sirius's nostrils flared as he saw a deep satisfaction – almost a smugness – to Remus's face. It had been planned. All of that whispering during the photo shoot, all of those secret smiles and meaningful looks – they had talked about doing this before.

Sirius had never before felt so manipulated.

Jumping to his feet, Sirius knew he didn't have much of a moral high ground, considering he had enjoyed himself immensely and was still standing in front of them wearing nothing but what Merlin had blessed him with from birth, but at the moment that seemed thoroughly unimportant to the mild indignation that was filling him at his friends' assumption of his own wicked ways.

"I can't believe you planned this!" he roared, glaring down at them.

A smile twitched on Remus's lips as both looked up with wide, innocent eyes.

"Are you saying that we shouldn't have?" the werewolf asked mildly, blinking up at his best friend. "Because if you didn't want to do it, you should have said something."

"I was under the impression that you weren't particularly unhappy with the results of our gentle manipulation," Hermione added, the start of a smirk on her own full lips.

"I…but…that's hardly the point!" Sirius choked, crossing his arms petulantly at the fact that both his friends could see through his dramatic show.

"Sirius," Hermione said, raising her body up on her elbow. "Please. Do you regret it?"

The animagus slowly shook his head.

"Neither do we," she said, lowering back down and looking up into her husband's face.

Sirius had to swallow the lump of happiness in his throat when he saw Remus's proud, loving face looking deeply into the eyes of his equally adoring wife, his hand splayed protectively over Hermione's lower abdomen.

"When?" Sirius asked softly.

Remus glanced up at him.

"We found out awhile ago. She's due in five months."

Sirius's eyes widened.

"She?"

Hermione grinned.

"We don't know, but Remus thinks it's a girl."

"It's a girl," Remus added definitively, running his fingers gently over Hermione's womb. "A father just knows these things."

Sirius lowered himself to the floor, sitting Indian style as he surveyed the couple.

"So this whole thing," he said, motioning between them. "It was a one-time thing?"

Remus's eyes flicked up to him immediately, guarded, but Sirius shook his head with a small smile.

"I don't think I could do it again, honestly."

Hermione smirked.

"Too much for you, Sirius?"

He laughed.

"Would you believe me if I said 'no'?"

Hermione smiled gently, looking up at her husband.

"It was wonderful," she said softly, and Sirius knew she was no longer addressing him. "It was wonderful but I don't want it again. Do you?"

The werewolf chuckled.

"It took everything I had not to tear his throat out this time," he teased, leaning down and nuzzling his nose with hers, saying: "I don't share very well."

She smirked.

"Then I suppose I shall be teaching our child how to share, shall I?"

Sirius, recognizing that he was no longer a part of the intimate moment, slowly gathered his clothes up and left the room. As he shut the door, he heard a trickle of laughter, and smiled. Their moment would be something that he would hold onto for the rest of his life, but he would do absolutely everything in his power to make sure it didn't happen again. Not ever. He didn't want it, and neither did they.

As he headed up the stairs, he warded the door of the library. The last thing the happy couple needed was to be disturbed. With a private smile of his own, Sirius yawned and skipped up the stairs to bed, prepared to greet the coming dawn with peaceful sleep.

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