When I go to thank my LC every week, I feel like a rapper giving a shout out to my gang or something. Cracks me up every freaking time.

Anyhoo, I obvs want to thank them, so: Huge, ginormous hugs and kisses to my LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and WhatObsession17. (Have you noticed they are in alpha order? I can't put them in order of importance because that would just be one jumbled mess of letters and make no sense. LOL!)

I checked, and my lease still isn't up.

Just a bit more fluff before we get to the angst. Hold on tight!

It's just like lunch…with more food.

September 15, 2009

I was a bundle of nerves on my way to Physiology – well, that's putting it mildly. The previous day, after my lunch with Edward, I had gone home and checked the infamous email my dad had sent to me. I nearly died of embarrassment when I opened it. Evidently, someone from the station had given my dad their old scanner and even taught him how to use it. If that wasn't a big enough shocker, the fact that he had been going through old family photos was.

Dad had scanned and emailed me a picture from when I was only five years old. It was from a day on the Rez where I was playing with my very best friend growing up, Jacob Black. He and I were only six months apart and we did everything together. And I mean everything. On that particular day we had just been swimming and were sitting in the sand playing. We'd had buckets, shovels, bowls, cups and paintbrushes. Yes, paintbrushes. We liked to swirl the sand with them and make different designs.

My mom had been taking pictures of everyone and everything because she had just gotten a new camera for her birthday. She had come across us playing side by side and zoomed in to take a picture. It wasn't until she pulled the camera away from her face that she realized of what she had just taken a picture.

"Isabella Marie Swan! What do you think you are doing?" she had screamed.

I had jumped and started crying because she had scared me. She had bent down and wrapped her arms around me, apologizing for screaming, but said she really needed to know what I thought I was doing.

"Jake doesn't look like me, Mommy, so I was trying to paint him and make us look alike." I sniffled.

Yes, I had been using a paintbrush on Jacob's…er…private area. Mom and Dad had a good laugh about it afterward and they had put the picture up with the rest of our family photos. They had brought it out every so often just to torture me. Once Mom was gone, I had only seen it once, and that was when Dad tried to find a picture of my Aunt for my cousin to have enlarged for her funeral. That day we ran across the picture and had a bit of a nostalgic moment. We had pushed it aside quickly, because it reminded us of who had taken the picture and we hadn't wanted want to go down that road on that particular day.

So, that would have been fine and dandy, no harm no foul, right? But remember, the world hates me. I had hit reply to tell my dad thanks for the effort of communication and the attempt to humiliate me. I had also congratulated him on learning a new piece of technology. I had signed off and hit send. I had done a quick double take because I could have sworn that the recipient's email was incorrect.

I had opened my sent items folder to see what had happened and I had literally screamed out loud, "OH MY GOD! NO! WHY ME?"

Don't ask me how I did it. It had to have been subconsciously, because I emailed him more than anyone else. I don't know how or why. All I know is that at that very moment I would have given anything for the entire internet to freeze, or well, at least let me take back the email I just sent.

I had typed up another email as fast as my little hands could type. Let me tell you, sixty-nine words per minute was not fast enough! I had written "URGENT READ NOW!" as the subject.

Edward,

Hey, I just accidentally forwarded my dad's email to you and I meant to reply to him. Please just ignore it. Please, please, please don't read it!

Thanks,

Bella

So there I was, sitting in Physiology, hoping and praying that Edward hadn't opened the email to my dad. I was pretty sure that if he had read the URGENT one first he would have granted my wishes and not read the other one. Again, I was pretty sure. I mean, how well could I really have known the guy already? Oh please, let him be as honest as he seems!

As soon as Edward walked into the room, I had my answer. He looked right at me, and when he noticed I was looking back, he immediately averted his eyes and swallowed nervously. He didn't miss a beat as he walked toward me, but I knew by his lack of eye contact he had seen the email. And he was ashamed to admit it.

He sat in his seat – which was now beside me, thanks to a bit of begging and pleading to fellow classmates – and began pulling out his supplies. He had always addressed me, and his lack of doing so was even more evidence.

"There's no sense in trying to hide it, Edward. I can read you like a book. You saw it. I've accepted it. Let's move on." I sighed in defeat…or was it humiliation? Maybe a bit of both.

"I'm sorry, Bella, honest. I opened it as soon as it hit my inbox. I didn't see your warning until it was too late. I swear! You know I would never do that on purpose." Poor guy looked like I was going to bite his head of or something.

"I believe you, Edward. And besides, I can't get mad at you, it was my mistake. It's just humiliating, is all."

Edward looked at me comfortingly and said, "Please don't be embarrassed. It was a childhood picture; you can't help what was done as a child." He smiled and added, "But I would love for you to explain to me how you knew about body painting at such a young age."

"Edward! It wasn't like that…well, not exactly like that at least. It's just that Jake and I were best friends and I was upset that he looked different than me, so I wanted to paint him to look like me." I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

Edward twisted in his seat so that the lower part of his body was pointed away from me and he looked horrified. "Should I be worried? I mean…do you do that to all of your guy friends?" He then started snickering.

I slapped his arm and spat, "Jerk!" However, I laughed along with him.


September 19, 2009

The rest of the week had gone by uneventful, as usual. Edward and I had spent our coffee times laughing and joking or discussing schoolwork. He didn't bring up the picture again and I was extremely grateful.

The day of my very first date ever, I awoke to a text from Edward.

This is your last chance to back out. After this, resistance is futile!

I grinned and quickly texted him back.

Back out? Never! If Spock were here, he'd say that I was an irrational, illogical human being for going on a mission like this... Sounds like fun!

Edward responded almost immediately.

Definitely ;) Pick you up at 7

The rest of the day had my stomach in knots. Having never been on a date, I wasn't quite sure what was to be expected of me. I mean, I knew the logistics of dates, I did watch television, you know. But, I just wasn't sure how to interact with Edward. We had been having friendly meetings for a while and I enjoyed them immensely, but at this point we were heading down the romantic route and that was unknown territory for me.

Angela noticed how nervous I was as I was getting ready later in the day. She grabbed me by the hand and led me to sit on her bed.

"Bella, what's wrong? I can tell you are all kinds of freaked out right now."

I started wringing my hands in my lap and sighed, "I've never done this before, Angela. I don't know how to act. What if I make a fool of myself?"

Angela smiled and wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "Bella, you have been having lunches with Edward for quite some time now and you have never had any problems, right? This is just like lunch…just with more food!" She giggled. "But seriously, just be yourself. Obviously, Edward likes being around you or he wouldn't have asked you out on a real date. He likes you just the way you are. What more can you ask for? You don't have to be fake. You don't have to try to impress him. You have already done that. Just enjoy yourself."

I leaned my head on her shoulder and let out a deep breath. "I know. It's just…well, do we hold hands? Will we have a goodnight kiss? I have never done any of this before. I really like Edward. A whole freaking lot. I don't want to ruin things."

Angela squeezed my shoulder as she spoke the next words, "You just have to go with the flow on that one, Bella. If you are comfortable holding his hand, then go for it. Yes, usually there is a kiss at the end of the night, but again, this goes along with the 'being comfortable' aspect as well."

"Thanks, Angela. Even though I still have no clue what to expect, but now I'm prepared to expect the unexpected." I giggled.

Angela helped me to get 'dolled up', as my dad would say, since this was the first time in my life I had ever actually attempted to try to be pretty. She helped me pick something simple and yet, amazingly, it helped make me look so much more attractive. I was ready to take on the world. Ok, not really, but I was confident. Ok, well, not really again, but let's say I was as ready as I would ever be. Yeah, that's more like it.

At 6:45 my palms started to sweat. I started pacing and mumbling, "I can't do this," repeatedly.

Angela reassured me that I could, in fact, do that. She then told me to 'man up' and had a bit of a laughing fit about that.

I thought I heard a noise outside of our room, so I opened the door just in time to catch Edward walking away. I thought maybe he was having second thoughts, so I immediately started to worry. However, I then realized he wasn't walking away, he was pacing. As he turned around and quickly glanced at his watch, he noticed me.

"I'm…I was kinda early. I didn't want to be late, and I was too early. I'm sorry. If you're not ready, I can come back." Well, the fact that Edward was apparently as nervous as I was made me feel ten times better.

"Don't be silly, I don't want you to come back. I've been ready for far too long, anyway. I'm more than ready to go." I smiled and grabbed my purse.

Just as I was getting ready to close the door, Angela gave me a 'thumbs up' and winked.

Edward just looked at me for a moment and then smiled. "You look wonderful, Bella. Really," he said, smiling. His smile quickly morphed into a wicked grin and he added, "However, I must apologize." He twisted just enough so that his magnificent bum was within my sight and he nodded towards it. Before I could even ask what that was about he continued with, "I'm fresh out of 'sexy' pants."

"Edward!" I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, blushing and grinning. "Can we just forget that ever happened? Please?" I pleaded.

With a very serious face, he said, "No. Sorry." My mouth dropped opened and he tapped his temple with his forefinger and said, "Photographic memory. It's there forever. For. Ev. Er." He even drew it out with that creepy voice just like Squints did in 'The Sandlot'.

Edward started laughing and took me by the hand, saying, "Let's get out of here, Umbella, I'm starving." And just like that, we were holding hands. It wasn't the least bit awkward. It was comfortable, just like Angela had said. And I was in seventh heaven.

Once we reached the sidewalk outside of the dorm, I slowed, looking at Edward, because we hadn't established our mode of transport yet.

Edward realized my reluctance and turned toward me saying, "I thought we would walk. It's not that far, and it's a beautiful night. Our reservations aren't until 7:30, so we have time, if you are okay with that."

"Of course." I smiled, and we began walking in comfortable silence.

Once we reached the restaurant a few minutes later, Edward led me inside with his hand on the small of my back. It sent shivers up and down my spine, having him touching me in such a romantic manner.

"Cullen," he told the hostess and smiled sweetly at me. I noticed the hostess' eyes widen when she looked up at him. Since he wasn't paying attention, she took a brief moment to check him out from head to toe. Obviously liking what she saw, she bit her lip and then checked the book.

"Table for two. Right this way, please."

As we started toward her, Edward slipped his fingers through mine once again. I couldn't help grinning to myself. I relished the feeling of his touch and I wanted to never let go.

The restaurant wasn't crowded, so when the hostess began leading us to an empty table at the front of the room, Edward stopped her. "Actually, could we please have that booth in the back? It's a bit more private."

I saw a momentary look of disgust on her face, as if my being with Edward was repulsive, but she led us to the back nonetheless.

Edward sat across from me and took his menu from the hostess. She informed us that our server would be with us shortly and retreated back to her station.

I held my menu, but it might as well have been written in Greek because I was completely unable to focus on anything on the page.

A tall, statuesque blonde came to our table smiling and introduced herself. "Hello, I am Rosalie. I will be your server this evening. Can I get you something to drink for starters?"

Edward looked up and smiled politely and ordered a root beer then motioned for me to order. It took me a second to get my bearings and I ordered the same. Once Rosalie disappeared around the corner Edward gave me an odd look.

"Is something wrong, Bella?"

I shook my head and smiled. "No, I just…well, most guys would have gawked at our server, but you paid no mind to her, and I 'm a bit stunned."

Edward opened and closed his mouth several times before he finally spoke softly, "I don't need to look at anyone else. I rather enjoy what I already have in front of me." He smiled in embarrassment and looked down toward his lap.

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. Only in the Twilight Zone would someone rather look at plain ole Geekella than drop-dead gorgeous Rosalie.

I didn't have time to respond before Rosalie was back giving us our drinks. She took our order – I ordered the first thing on the menu, and had no freaking clue what it was – and whisked away yet again.

Edward leaned forward in a secretive manner and I followed suit without thinking. He whispered, "Besides, I prefer brunettes." He smiled his captivating smile.

I had to have been fifteen shades of red by this point and I could barely breathe. My heart was beating so loudly that I was almost sure he could hear it. I bit my lip and lowered my head. I didn't even know how to respond to that. Luckily, I didn't need to. Edward must have noticed my discomfort because he quickly changed the subject.

"Did you manage to get all of your homework done already or do you have to work some more on it tomorrow? Because, well…I thought that maybe if you needed to, we could work together tomorrow. That is, if you are okay with it."

I smiled brightly. "I'd really like that. I wasn't able to get any work done because I just couldn't concentrate, so I have way too much to do."

For the next few minutes, we discussed the different assignments we each had left to do (it seemed Edward had also been unable to concentrate on his work). Then I decided to bring up something that had been eating at me for weeks.

"Edward, can I ask you something?" I asked him hesitantly.

He grinned and said, "You actually just did."

I rolled my eyes and snorted. "Yeah, you're right, but I'm gonna ask you another one, like it or not." I smiled and continued, "That first day in Lit…why did you act so strange and rush out of the room like that? It was almost as if you couldn't wait to get away from me, and don't try telling me you had someplace to be because I'm not buying it."

"You're right, Bella…wait, not about me wanting to get away from you, I don't mean it like that. I mean, you're right about me not having had someplace to be. It was just…" He took a deep breath and sighed. "I've already told you that I had never asked a girl out, but what I didn't tell you is that I had never wanted to ask a girl out because I had never been attracted to a girl before. Sure, I had seen pretty girls, don't get me wrong, but a pretty face is a dime a dozen. The day I met you…well…you took my breath away." He looked away, but continued to speak, "I didn't know how to react to what I was feeling, and it made me nervous. I was afraid I would make myself look like a fool, so it was best if I just left quickly. I apologize if it made you feel like you had done something wrong, it was quite the opposite actually."

I reached across the table and placed my hand on Edward's and smiled. "Edward, the day I met you, I honestly had the same reactions. I'm not even joking. Why do you think I stumbled on my words so horribly? I am usually much more eloquent, trust me."

Rosalie returned with our order and offered to refill our drinks. We accepted gratefully and began eating our meal. The food was incredible, but to be honest, it could have been mud pies and I would have been oblivious. I was ecstatic just to be seated across from Edward and nothing could have lowered my spirits in that moment. We ate slowly, savoring each bite and having a friendly conversation in between. It was the most enjoyable meal I had ever had and I didn't want it to come to an end, but inevitably, of course, it did.

Edward paid the bill and we exited the restaurant. He reached for my hand once more and pulled me in the opposite direction of my dorm. I didn't ask any questions, because at this point I didn't care what we did or where we went as long as I was with him.

"I hope you don't mind, but I would like to show you something that my sister pointed out to me a few weeks ago. It is awe-inspiring."

"Of course I don't mind, but…I didn't know you had a sister. You never mentioned any siblings. Where does she live?" I questioned.

"Oh, she's a senior here, so you probably don't see her very much. She's also very tiny, so it's easy to overlook her," he laughed, "but don't tell her I told you that. She's like a kitten who thinks it's a tiger...you never tell her she is tiny."

We walked for a few more minutes and then Edward slowed and pulled me off to the side. I looked in the direction he pulled me and gasped in awe. In front of us was the most spectacular display of fireflies dancing on the other side of a rather large pond. Their lights reflected in the water causing the scene to be even more magnificent. I had never seen anything like it.

"Wow, Edward, it's beautiful! I can't believe she found this."

Edward turned toward me and said, "It pales in comparison."

I looked up into his eyes and saw a look I had never seen before. It was a look of determination – as if he was a man on a mission. He glanced down at my lips, and my stomach did flip-flops. This is it. My first kiss. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.

Slowly and affectionately, Edward reached forward and placed his hand on my cheek. He stepped closer and bent his head slightly, and I could feel his fingers shaking against my face. He whispered, "Can I kiss you, Bella?"

I was barely able to nod, but I somehow succeeded and no sooner than I did, I felt Edward's lips come in contact with mine. At first they were gentle, soft pecks connecting my lips to his, but it was only a matter of seconds before both of his hands were cupping my face and he was kissing me with a little more force.

I snaked my arms around his waist and slowly trailed my hands up his back. He hummed against my lips and pulled back slightly to take a breath and whisper, "Oh, Bella."

He leaned his forehead against mine and smiled crookedly. "That was so worth waiting for."

I grinned and agreed with a, "Mmhmm."

At that moment, my traitorous body decided to shiver. I'm not sure if it was from a chill or from the magnitude of what had just taken place. Nevertheless, Edward noticed and said, "I better get you back before it gets too cold." He took me by the hand and we walked slowly back toward the dorms. Neither of us felt the need to break the silence with mundane words. The quiet was more than enjoyable.

We stopped in front of my building and Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into a hug, and whispering in my ear, "Can we do this again, soon?"

"Absolutely," I replied a bit too quickly.

Edward pulled back and looked me in the eye. "Can we still study together tomorrow?" I nodded and he smiled. He leaned forward and kissed me gently several times before pulling away reluctantly with a grumble. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow," I said with a grin.


That night before I went to bed, Edward sent me a text.

Is not that the nature of men and women - that the pleasure is in the learning of each other?* :) Sleep well, Umbella, see you tomorrow.

*Natira, the High Priestess of Yonada, "For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky", stardate 5476.3.

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