*Pulls out the mic* Yo! The name's….

Just kidding

I told you I feel like a rapper every time I give a shout out to my LC *gigglesnort*

So, to my LC – Alitriona/Eila, Allysue08, Rags88, Revrag, Shereebedee, Spellboundagain, and Whatobsession17 – I love you all! More than you will ever know!

Still leasing.

Firsts

October 5, 2009

I had no idea what I had been missing. Never before had I envied couples as I watched their gratuitous public displays of affection. I thought it was disgusting and unnecessary. I always scoffed at their audacity.

That was before.

After I had experienced my first kiss, I immediately wanted another…and another…and another. It had been utter euphoria when Edward's lips were connected with mine. That night, I had slept better than I had ever slept in my entire life, completely blissful, with numerous dreams that I wouldn't mind revisiting on a nightly basis.

The day following our first date, we had studied as planned…not so much our schoolwork as each other's lips, but we had, in fact, studied. That first week or so we hadn't ventured any further than chaste, but nonetheless passionate kisses. We had been constantly touching and often caught each other staring with a goofball grin. The fact that all of this had been new for both of us made it all the more substantial in our newfound relationship.

We found ourselves having 'study sessions' on a near daily basis even though we had rarely actually needed to study. We had spent most of the time holding hands and making out. Although, I have to say our 'making out' was not even considered making out until about a week later.

Edward had been kissing me slowly and gently, as he had done so many times before, when he barely slipped his tongue out to touch my lips. It was like a bolt of electricity that shocked me into motion. I had opened my lips and allowed my tongue to come in contact with his and a whole new wave of sensations exploded throughout my body. As our tongues had begun to explore, Edward and I both couldn't hold back the noises that reverberated between us.

I had snaked my hands up to wrap them around Edward's neck and twist his hair through my fingers, which had elicited a moan from him. He had then grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into his lap, without breaking contact. He deepened the kiss and squeezed my sides, pulling me closer. I shifted my hips in response and experienced my first ever contact with Edward's erection. I couldn't stop my mind from thinking – hoping rather – that this wouldn't be my last contact. Since when did I start thinking such dirty thoughts?

I hadn't meant to, but I sorta froze, which had caused Edward to pull his head back and avert his eyes.

"Um…" Edward gulped and shifted in his seat, seeming like he was trying to melt into the couch underneath him. "I'm…dang it! I'm sorry." Edward's face had been the darkest shade of red I had ever seen, and he then attempted to lift me off his lap.

I held fast and turned his face to look into his eyes. "Edward. Why are you sorry?" If he had only known the thoughts that had been going on in my head at that very moment, he would have, in no way, apologized for his body's reaction – something he had no control over.

He had closed his eyes and dropped his forehead to my shoulder. "I didn't mean for you to…um…I didn't want to…I shouldn't have…" He grumbled and shook his head against my shoulder.

"It is a normal reaction, Edward, how can you be ashamed of something you have no control over?" I knew I had been blushing from head to toe, but I had wanted him to feel less embarrassed, so I leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "I actually like that I caused this kind of reaction out of you."

He lifted his head and looked me in the eye. "Really? You aren't disgusted with me? I try really hard not to think those kinds of thoughts around you, Bella, but it's extremely difficult. I love the way you smell, the way your lips feel against mine, the feel of your soft skin under my fingertips. All of those things make it nearly impossible to remain chivalrous around you."

I had kissed him gently and pulled back just enough to move my lips against his and said, "I'm sure the thoughts I have been having are very similar to your own, trust me. It's perfectly natural. I mean, we are past the age of puberty, you know…we should have been through this ages ago." I giggled and said, "But it makes me happy to know that I am experiencing this with someone who is equally as inexperienced as I am. It makes it so much more comfortable."

Edward had grinned crookedly and said, "Mmm, that it does." He then connected his lips with mine again.

From that point on, our 'make-out sessions' had been more like making out. However, we had always kept our hands on each other's hips or neck, never roaming to places beyond what would be publicly acceptable…by our standards, at least.

Until today.

We were under 'our tree' – the tree we had found, which was secluded and never occupied by others – studying unnecessarily, again, and became sidetracked with kissing, again, when Edward pulled us so that we were lying on our backs on the blanket we had brought along. We lay on our sides, kissing with our heads propped on one hand and holding hands with the other. I twisted my foot around Edward's, wanting to touch him in as many places as possible, never getting enough of him.

Edward let go of my hand and cupped my face as he continued to kiss me. We kissed like that for a few minutes and then he slid his hand down to my neck. He traced circles on my collarbone with his thumb and I could feel the goosebumps rise underneath his touch. Slowly, he lowered his hand a bit more, where it was slightly above my breast and I felt my heart rate rise even higher than the unhealthy level it was at already. The pace of his movements was driving me insane and I did something I never thought I would do. I took his hand and placed it directly where I was pretty sure he was intending to go. However, when I placed his hand there, he halted all of his movements, gulped loudly and pulled back to look me questioningly in the eye. I grinned, letting him know I was really okay with it.

That was all the encouragement he needed. He went back to kissing me and groping me, albeit still somewhat cautiously. I scooted closer to him and pushed my knee between his legs, bringing my thigh in contact with the part of Edward I had slowly been becoming acquainted with.

Again, Edward stilled his movements and warned me with a, "Bella…" Of course, I didn't heed his warning and I pulled him back to my mouth to recommence kissing. He groaned against my lips, but didn't stop my actions. I took that as confirmation to resume the movements of my thigh against Edward's…um…yeaah. Come on, Bella. If you can touch it, you should be able to say it. His…penis. Boy, did I feel so juvenile at that very moment.

Edward seemed reluctant to allow himself to enjoy the attention I was giving him, however. He stiffened and his kisses became somewhat robotic. I lifted my hand to run my fingers through his hair, attempting to relax him, but it didn't help.

I pulled back slightly and whispered, "Edward, relax. Enjoy. Does it not feel good?" I had seen enough on television and in movies that I was pretty sure it was something that did, in fact, feel good to guys, but by his actions, he coulda fooled me.

He squeezed his eyes and pursed his lips before he mumbled, "You have no idea. I just…it doesn't seem right…gentlemanly…for me to behave that way around you, Bella."

"Edward. Look at me." He barely opened his eyes, and only to stare at my shoulder. I ducked down to make eye contact. "I want you to enjoy it, Edward. I've never wanted to do anything like this before I met you, but now…well, I want to make you feel good. Knowing that I am the one making you feel good makes me feel good. Please?"

He took a deep breath and slowly released it, then finally looked me in the eye. He grinned shyly and quietly said, "Okay."

A smile spread across my face that was comparable to that of a kid who was just told he won a trip to Disneyland. Edward blushed, and swallowed hard. I pulled him back into a searing kiss and began moving my leg in between his again. He moaned as he returned to caressing my breast, which in turn caused me to moan right back. This impelled him to be a bit more aggressive with his exploration, but just a bit. He pulled away from my lips and breathlessly kissed my jaw. I could hear him panting as he continued to move his mouth toward my neck.

He kissed my neck and whispered in my ear, "Oh my God, Bella. That feels…uh…oh God." He continued to pant against my neck in between kissing. I grabbed his hip and squeezed hard as I continued to press into his erection with my leg. His breathing was getting shallower and his hand was working faster. He kissed my neck once again and bucked his hips forward, moaning against my skin.

"Uuhhh…Bella…I can't…oh my God…I'm…oh crap!" He tried to stop all movements, but I wouldn't let him. I kept going. I needed this. I wanted him to have his release and for it to be all because of me.

I pulled away enough to see his face and whispered, "Come on, Edward."

He squinted his eyes shut and groaned out, "Ohhhh, ohhh shiiiiit!" Oh. My. God!

That was hot on so many freaking levels. The fact that little ole me made a guy cum was un-freaking-believable. The fact that Edward had become so undone, that he used a curse word for the first time ever around me, was astounding. And the face that he made when he came? I will never ever forget that face. His face was sexy on a daily basis, but add the throes of passion into the mix, and holy mother of God, was it the sexiest thing ever!

Edward had slipped his hand around to my back and was rubbing gentle circles as his breath returned to normal as well as his heart rate. He still had his eyes closed – clinched shut actually. I smoothed the wrinkles from his forehead with my fingers and hummed against his cheek just before I kissed it. He pulled me into a hug, resting his forehead on my shoulder.

I tried to lean back to kiss Edward, but he prevented me from separating myself from him. I decided to make due with what I had and kissed his shoulder and then his neck. I felt him swallow just before he spoke, "I can't believe I…" He exhaled loudly. "That was not how I planned for things to go. I'm sorry. I should have been more reserved. It was very selfish of me to allow that. It won't happen again, I promise."

Oh no, buddy…I don't think so!

"Edward!" I grabbed a handful of hair and pulled his head back. Oh come on! I didn't hurt him. "If anyone was selfish, it was me. I am the one who asked you to let go. I'm the one who wanted to see you come undone. It was me who pursued this route and took control. But I can't honestly say I am sorry. It was totally worth it. In fact, I plan to make sure it will happen again." I gave him a challenging look, daring him to dispute that decision.

He mumbled, "I don't know about that. This is quite disgusting. I need a shower now."

I giggled and apologized, but then told him I was only sorry for the mess, not my actions. He huffed again, but then chuckled and pulled me into a tight squeeze.

"What am I gonna do with you, Umbella? You're going to be the death of me, huh? I have no hope of protecting my virtue around you, do I?" Edward then full-out laughed and kissed me once more before getting to his feet and holding out his hand to pull me up as well. "We reeeallly need to head back. This is starting to dry, and I can't imagine it is going to be a pleasant removal process."

I gathered our things and we began walking back toward the dorms hand-in-hand. Edward was obviously still embarrassed about our…um…activities, but at least he wasn't being all emo about it.

I stopped at the spot where we usually parted ways and Edward pulled me into him. He kissed me passionately and then whispered in my ear, "Thank you, Bella. It may have been embarrassing, but I wouldn't want to experience that with anyone else. Besides…" He pulled back and grinned crookedly. "I slightly enjoyed it." When I raised an eyebrow at him, he twisted his mouth and chuckled. "Ok, more than slightly, but let's drop it at that." His face was fire engine red when he pulled me into a parting kiss.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Edward."

"Tomorrow, Bella."

I seriously skipped all the way back to my room with a goofy grin from ear to ear. I was rather smug about my newfound abilities. I felt like singing, "I've got the power! Hey yeah heh! It's getting', it's getting', it's getting' kinda heavy." What can I say? I like old school rap.

Later that night, I received a text from Edward that made me blush, giggle, and fan myself, all at once.

My dearest Bella, today was amazing. I'll never forget it. When can I reciprocate? I'd like to make *you* feel as good as you made me feel :) Sweet dreams!

How did I want to respond to that? Was I eager for him to reciprocate? Heck-to-the-yeah. Was I a nervous wreck about experiencing that for the first time? Double-heck-to-the-double-yeah. What? I had no friends and was raised by a father…did you honestly think someone taught me how to take care of it myself? Uh, yeah, no. So, I finally decided to approach it honestly.

I enjoyed today, too. I'll never forget it either. Seeing your face at that moment was wonderful. I'm not sure about reciprocation. I'm nervous & embarrassed.

Well, might as well get it all out there, since he was going to figure it out eventually anyway. A few seconds later, he responded.

Uh, what do you think *I* was today? Brazen? No. I was mortified, but my girlfriend wanted it, so I acceded to her demands. Now, it's your turn. plz? For me? ;)

Edward called me his girlfriend. I started bouncing up and down on my bed, giggling like a fruitcake. Angela just looked at me like I was nuts – which I sorta was, I guess. I was ecstatic and oblivious for far too long, because Edward texted me back before I could answer.

That was inappropriate, I'm sorry. I just thought that maybe you would with me, since, you know, I've been there, too. I'm really sorry.

And then I felt really bad. Here I was doing the happy dance because he called me his girlfriend, and he mistook my lack of response as repulsion. I had to remedy the situation quickly.

Oh no! I wasn't MIA due to that. In fact, *blush* I was kinda tripping out over what you called me. Did you mean it? Am I your girlfriend? :)

Sure, we had been making out for a while, and he did let me rub all up on his manhood until he came. But, I still had been unsure of our relationship status, so hearing him – seeing him, rather – call me his girlfriend, had boosted my self-esteem a hundredfold.

He responded extremely fast.

Of *course* you're my girlfriend! What're you thinking? I only want to be with you. Do you not want me to be your boyfriend? I should have asked first, huh?

Did I want him to be my boyfriend? Was he freaking kidding me? I would have asked him the very first day I met him, if I wasn't the shyest, most self-conscious girl on the planet.

I would love to be your girlfriend and in return would love for you to be my boyfriend. :) Do I get to wear your class ring? Your Letterman jacket? *grin*

I knew he didn't have either one of those, but I needed to make some sort of joke, because it seemed so elementary this whole, "Will you be my girlfriend?" thing. I was starting to wonder if I should check a box next to yes or no. I was an adult for goodness sake. I shouldn't have gotten so flustered over him calling me his girlfriend. But in my defense, I hadn't ever had a boyfriend before, so this was all new territory for me.

Relationship – The Final Frontier. Oh geez, I am such a dork.

I had forgotten that I was waiting for Edward to respond, so I dropped my phone when it buzzed with the alert. Angela looked at me and giggled. This was a typical occurrence for me, and it was also typical of Angela to laugh at me. I rolled my eyes and opened the text.

I actually do have a class ring from my high school. Do you have one? We could be all kinds of cliché and swap rings. It would be awesome! What d'ya say? :)

I couldn't figure out if he was joking or being serious. Stupid texting and its inability to project sarcasm. I opted to play it safe and just overlook that question for the time being. Maybe when I was standing in front of him I would be able to know if he was kidding.

Well, my sweet *boyfriend*, I need some zzz's. Even though you can do without beauty sleep, the rest of us aren't so lucky. Cya tomorrow! G'night

He responded with a simple good night wish and a comment about me not needing beauty sleep, just brain sleep. I laughed, but didn't reply. My eyes were already beginning to cross and I really did need the rest.

I fell asleep quickly and had some incredible dreams.

October 8, 2009

We were sitting in Physiology, holding hands as always, and every time I looked at Edward, he looked away quickly and blushed. He was bouncing his knee and strumming his fingers on the desk with his free hand. Every so often he would run his fingers through his hair and look over at me. I would look back, and the whole process would start again. He had a grin threatening to escape, so his behavior really threw me for a loop.

As soon as class was dismissed, he grabbed my bag and stood up as fast as lightning. I just sat there, still as a statue. He had his hand held out waiting for me to take it and when I didn't, he looked down at me exasperatingly and said, "Well? Are you com…ing?" He immediately bit his lip, holding back a smile and turned away.

"Why are you acting so weird today? Did you forget your Adderall?"

OH. MY. GOD! The look he gave me when I asked that…you would have thought I asked him if he was a drug dealer! I laughed and held up my hands in defense, "I'm joking, Edward! Geez. What a tragedy it would be for you to have an attention disorder," I said sarcastically.

"Stop being childish, Bella, and come on. I want to get…I'm hungry, and I want to get a sandwich." Again with the profuse blushing. Something was up with that man, and I couldn't put my finger on it.

I pursed my lips and blew a breath, shaking my head and getting out of my seat.

"Let's go, Romeo," I said in my best British accent.

Edward chuckled and rolled his eyes. "That's why I love y…hanging out with you, Umbella. You always act like yourself. No withholding of your true personality." He pulled me close to him and continued, "As quirky as your personality may be." He squeezed my shoulder and laughed as he emphasized 'quirky'.

"Psh! As if! You are every bit as quirky as I am Mr. Eidetic Memory."

Edward growled at me. He was always so defensive when I picked on his use of proper terminology for his gift – which he thought was a curse, not a gift. I admit I picked on him all the time. I couldn't help it. I liked to egg him on. He was so darn cute when he was flustered.

We continued the banter all the way to…wait…

I hadn't been paying attention, and we hadn't walked to the deli. No, we were at our tree. There was already a blanket laid out in our normal spot and there was a picnic basket sitting in the grass beside it. Well, this was new…

I looked to Edward and he had his brows pulled together and looked deep in thought. Again, he was strumming his fingers, but on his thigh this time.

"Edward?" I started, but he jumped clean out of his skin and looked at me in astonishment. "Are you…okay?" I was seriously worried about him at this point. I mean, yeah, Edward often acted oddly, but this was so completely out of character for him.

He took a big, deep breath and blew it out loudly. "Yes, I'm sorry. I just…have something on my mind and I was distracted. I'm focused now." He smiled brightly and said, "Let's eat. I'm famished!"

I tentatively sat down, taking in the atmosphere around me. Edward still had a slight edge about him, but he appeared much more affable than he had mere minutes before. He sat down beside me, placing one hand on my knee, and reaching for the basket with his other hand.

"I got your favorite. Cheddar Chicken Salad Croissant and a pink lemonade. And…I got us a banana nut muffin to split." He smiled proudly.

Wow! He really did get my favorite!

"Wow, Edward. Thank you…so much! You just don't even know how much I appreciate this. And the fact that you actually remember my favorites means even more." I squeezed his hand and threaded my fingers between his.

We spent the next few minutes awkwardly eating with the hands we didn't have joined, laughing when we dropped pieces of the filling, but never releasing our grasp. Every once in a while, Edward would reach over and dab my mouth with a napkin and just smile tenderly. It was a very pleasant, romantic lunch.

After we finished with our shared dessert, I helped Edward pack the things back into the basket. As soon as the lid was closed, he pulled me to him and started zealously kissing me. A few minutes into it, he pulled us down into a lying position. He cupped my cheek and deepened the kiss. He moaned when my tongue came in contact with his. I loved his moan so freaking much. It lit a fire in my nether regions and caused my heart to accelerate.

Edward slowly trailed his hand down to my neck, my shoulder, my arm, and then my waist. I was expecting him to go for my breast since we had already crossed that bridge. He didn't, however. He grasped my waist and kissed me more fervently. He pushed forward so that I was lying on my back and his upper body was hovering over me. He placed all of his weight on his left arm and was rubbing circles on my waist with his right. He never stopped kissing me and then began running the fingers of his left hand through my hair while his right hand started lowering. I didn't react until I realized where exactly his hand was lowering to…and then I tensed up.

Edward noticed and removed his lips from mine just enough to whisper, "It's okay, Bella. Just relax. Unless…I mean…I'm not going to force you or anything, but if you let me do this, I promise you will enjoy it. Do you…do you want me to stop?"

I shook my head and he smiled and went back to kissing me. He didn't move his hand again until he felt me relax completely. Then, ever so slowly, he moved his hand to my inner thigh and trailed upward inch by inch until he came in contact with my…uh…lady bits. Like an idiot, I jumped when he first made contact, but he snickered and pressed a little harder, and…

Oh

My

Freaking

God

(oops, I'm sorry, God…it's probably not a good idea to use Your name when I am doing something sexual, huh?)

I thought kissing was amazing. I thought Edward's hand on my breast was magnificent. No, no, I didn't know what I was talking about. Sure, they were wonderful, not gonna lie, but being touched down there and by someone I cared so much about…yeah, it was beyond amazing. It was better than anything I had ever experienced before in my life.

Edward continued to rub as he moved his kisses to my cheek and then my neck and then to my ear, sucking my earlobe in between his lips. That made what he was doing between my legs even more arousing. It felt incredible. I could feel a pressure rising higher and higher and I was squirming, I couldn't help it. I didn't want him to stop, but I didn't know what was happening. I had never felt anything so unbelievable.

He released my earlobe from between his lips and whispered in my ear, "Let go, Bella. Let it go. Cum for me."

And I did. And it was like fireworks went off inside my body, starting from my stomach and exploding throughout my appendages. It was fantastic.

When I opened my eyes, Edward was looking at me with a magnanimous smile. "You're right." I looked at him dubiously. He smiled even bigger, kissed my lips softly, and then said, "Seeing your face in that moment was beyond wonderful."

I chuckled and said, "You were right too, you know?" He then quirked his eyebrow at me and I responded, "It was mortifying, but lucky for me, it's not all disgusting for girls." I smirked before I kissed him once more.

"So, do you want to head back to your room or do you just wanna hang out here for a while?" he asked.

"I definitely prefer hanging out with you to going back to my boring room. And maybe," I wiggled my eyebrows and said, "just maybe I will recompense."

"I don't think so!" Edward laughed. "Do you even know how horrible it was to clean up after that? Sorry, but no."

I trailed my forefinger down his chest to his navel and wiggled my finger before I slid my hand further. The whole time I had a seductive grin – well, at least I hoped it was seductive…I was new to this stuff, you know – and just before I reached the waist of his pants, he grabbed my hand and shook his head.

"I mean it, Isabella." He pulled my hand up to his chest and wrapped his fingers around it.

"Isabella? Oooh…are you trying to sound like my dad? Using my full name and all?" I was still grinning and he started grinning back and then kissed me again.

"No funny business today. I did this for you. Maybe some other time…when we are in a more 'clean up friendly' environment, but as for now, when I have to go back to a dorm-full of guys and try to inconspicuously clean semen from my underwear…no, not gonna happen. Sorry."

I pouted, but complied. "Fine. But, we can still kiss, right?"

"Of course. I think I would die if I couldn't kiss you."

October 15, 2009

I was standing in the Rec Hall going through my mail. There was a funky-looking orange and black envelope addressed to 'Current Resident'. Well, how very personal of you.

I opened it up and read.

Dear Harvard Student,

We would like to inform you of a campus-wide party this Halloween. This party is being thrown by students, so it will not be chaperoned, however, due to the IFC rules, it will still be monitored, so you still need to be on your best behavior.

Get your favorite costume ready and show up at the MAC (for those of you who are new to campus, that's the Malkin Athletic Center) on October 31st at 8:00pm.

Thanks,

The Harvard Team

I laughed as I wadded up the paper and tossed it in the trash can.

Dream on 'Harvard Team', you won't catch me at another party as long as I live.

Uh oh…do I foresee a party on the horizon?

Do you like to be teased? (don't we all?)

Well, I love to be reviewed!

Give it to me, baby, uh huh, uh huh

(say it with me)

And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy!

*yes, I am missing a few brain cells, if you find them, send them my way plz*

One last note –

I wrote a super smutty one-shot if you are in the mood for PWP, lol. Check my profile lovelies.