Everybody Loves Tsuna
The Infatuation Bullet…WHY?
Tsuna had bribed his mother to let him have the following three days off of school. When she had asked the reason for this, he simply stated that it was because of chronic depression stemming from the fact that his life was a whirlpool filled with bullying, humiliation, violence and turmoil.
She smiled sweetly and said; "Okay honey, dinner's at seven"
In order to counter the anvil of despair that had suddenly been dropped on his life, Tsuna had decided to take an afternoon walk around his neighbourhood. The sight of the sun dipping into the horizon was comforting, but still couldn't lift his gloomy mood.
There were probably rumours spreading about how Tsuna the pervert had started a fire just to try and catch a glimpse of Sasagawa Kyoko's underwear, or that he lost his temper and beat the tennis champion half-to-death with a pair of matches.
Becoming a Vongola had certainly taught him some new things though, about standing up for himself and defending what he loved, and though he would never admit it to Reborn's face; he did enjoy those times spent with his Guardians.
Even if it sometimes involved fighting freaks with personalities crazier than the Joker.
He would spend the next few days moping, he thought to himself. He would try and re-establish a relationship with Kyoko, at least so that she wouldn't be embarrassed to the point where she couldn't even look at him.
Kyoko…his first love.
He had thought of several attempts to woo her, his latest attempt involving poetry. Just as he was about to recite Sonnet 14 from Shakespeare's Works, her older brother had appeared and dragged him into a sparring match atop a stone in the middle of an overflowing river.
"I need a distraction" he thought to himself, and started to recite the sonnet to himself as he passed around another corner, trying to get his mind off the fact that his life was already circulating the proverbial drain.
Go to the bakers, eat a tone of savoury and sweet breads, go to the sushi restaurant where his good friend Yamamoto lived, and eat so much fish that his belly exploded. If that didn't work, he was going to go home and ask Bianchi to serve him a feast of poison cooking.
These were bleak thoughts, but life was so terrible at the moment that he didn't care. His father was away, his mother was oblivious and his friends…well…they were there for him.
"But I can't make it as a Vongola boss, how can I when I can't even face regular life?" Tsuna thought aloud.
"…Not from the stars do I my judgement pluck, yet methinks I have astronomy. Not to tell of good or evil luck, of plagues of dearths or seasons qualities. Nor can I fortune to brief minutes tell, showing to each his own thunder, rain and wind…"
As he reached the final street just before the bakery, Tsuna was met by a sight that brought all of his bleak thoughts to a halt, and snapped him right back into reality.
Yamamoto was being held up, fist breaking into his face at a rapid pace. His face was bruised and blood was trickling out of his nostrils and his mouth. Tsuna's Rain Guardian was one of the strongest people he knew, albeit one of the kindest, but even he struggled when he was held down by six people, with another four constantly beating into him.
"Where's all that fancy skills now?" one of them asked cruelly, punching him in the gut.
"Bet you regret winning that tournament now, right baseball freak?" another added, landing a strong right-hook around his face.
Yamamoto had recently won a baseball tournament, despite the injuries he had gained from fighting Squalo, and had brought pride to Namimori. These guys were from the losing team, all the way form the Alimori High School, and chances were they had a bone to pick.
All thought about this morning were forgotten, and Tsuna ran forward, desperate to save his friend from getting injured anymore.
It was then that in his tantrum he had left his gloves and dying will pills back at his home, which was now fifteen minutes away. Tsuna began to panic, turning from one direction to another, looking for help or someone who looked like an ex-bouncer.
"Not good! What do I do? If I try to help I'll end up killed, but if I just leave him…" Tsuna winced as he saw Yamamoto get thrown against a nearby fence, blood staining it's surface.
"I need to help!" Tsuna thought aloud.
"Then hurry up and get in there" a new voice broke his train or thought, and he turned to see Reborn standing on the fence with a gun in his hand.
"Reborn!" Tsuna cried out in joy.
"Less time talking, more fighting! A boss needs to look out for his subordinates" Reborn explained.
Of course, their conversation was just a few metres off from the tussle that Yamamoto was in. One of them turned around and saw the Vongola heir, acting hysterically as ever.
"What the hell? A friend of yours?" he asked Yamamoto, who was now black and blue, his lower lip split quite badly.
"Tsuna…?" he coughed out.
"Another Namimori student? Take him down, we don't want witnesses" the supposed alpha-male of the group ordered.
Three of the hooded figure started to walk forward, cracking their knuckles and ready to break skulls and other bones. Tsuna really had no preference for such treatment and looked at Reborn in a pleading manner, who had an unusual smirk on his face.
"Hurry up! Shoot me!" he yelled out.
"Gladly" the Arcobeleno grinned, aiming his lime-green gun at Tsuna.
With a powerful burst, a purple coloured bullet entered Tsuna's head. It didn't crack open or pierce any flesh, instead it phased through. Tsuna was accustomed to this, and ready to enter his Dying Will Mode, where his anger and passion would be released to the surface.
He would defeat all of the goons in one fell swoop, he would destroy them and make them pay for what they had done to his friend.
Or at least he would…if anything actually happened.
All Tsuna felt was a slight shockwave, similar to a ripple in a garden pond, echo into the distance. No fire atop his head, no overwhelming urges, just…nothing.
"Uh...Reborn?" Tsuna asked his mentor.
"Huh, that's never happened before" Reborn said casually, inspecting his gun.
The goons had closed the distance between themselves and Tsuna. In one move they threw him up against the wall, fist outstretched, ready to pummel his skull inwards.
"Eek! Reborn do something!" Tsuna yelled, frightened to the core that he no longer had the power to defend himself or others.
"Maybe it's the kippers I fed Leon for lunch, maybe salt effected the Dying Will Bullet" Reborn contemplated casually, not really caring Tsuna was about to get the beat down of his life.
"REBORN!" Tsuna yelled.
"Say goodnight punk!" the leader grinned as he readied as punch.
"Wait!" another yelled, intercepting it midway
Tsuna opened his eyes to see that one of the goons had actually stopped the alpha-male from punching him. He wasn't sure whether he was more scared or confused by the outcome.
"What the hell did you do that for?" the leader asked.
"Think about it, we've got no quarrel with this kid, I mean…what has he done to us?" he asked.
"Yeah, Mishiro's got a point, let's leave him be" another agreed.
"…Okay, fair point" the leader acknowledged as he let go of him.
Tsuna stumbled forward slightly, still not quite sure what just happened. Things proceeded to get weirder when the goons actually started brushing him off, even sorting out his collar for him. Tsuna started in disbelief as the goons re-tied one of his shoes, picked up some loose change he had dropped and even fluffed his hair back into shape.
"Have a pleasant day" one of them said.
"Now, let's beat the shit out of this guy again" another added, turning their attention back to Yamamoto, who was still being held down by the remaining goons.
"Wait!" Tsuna yelled, gaining the attention of all of the goons.
"Don't hurt him anymore!" Tsuna yelled out…albeit rather pathetically.
"Give us a reason why we shouldn't" another of the goons spat out.
Because of the day he had had, because of pain and embarrassment that had flooded through his body over the hours, Tsuna's response became the first thing that came into his head.
"Because…he's my friend?" Tsuan asked.
Yes, this was really a low point for him. Whenever in the entire history of creation had being Sawada Tsunayoshi's friend ever helped in a way shape or form?
"Good enough for me" one of the goons said, dropping Yamamoto to the floor.
Today, apparently.
"W-What?" Tsuna blurted out, in solid disbelief.
"Same here" another spoke out
"Yeah, let's go get pizza" another added.
"I call pepperoni!" a third added.
Tsuna was unsure that he was still in the same reality anymore, because in normal circumstances he should have had the stuffing kicked out of him by now, but instead the rival baseball team had stopped their relentless assault on Yamamoto and were now heading for the nearest pizza place.
After taking a few seconds to let it sink in, Tsuna ran up to his beaten friend, whop was massaging his swollen eye.
"Yamamoto! Are you okay?" Tsuna asked realising that, yet again, it was a stupid question
"Oh yeah, I'm fine! Just got tossed around a little" the Rain Guardian grinned, wobbling slightly as he stood up, Tsuna had to grab his arm just to steady him.
"We need to take you to the hospital, can you walk?" Tsuna asked.
"I don't worry, my dad's got some good herbal remedies that'll fix me right up - hospitals are considered evil in our family" Yamamoto grinned through his bleeding mouth.
"…What? You know what, never mind, you need medical treatment" Tsuna insisted.
"He'll be fine Tsuna, he's been through worse" Reborn interjected, hoping down from off the fence.
"Yeah, compared to Squalo those guys were like cotton candy"
"But he care barely walk!" Tsuna insisted.
"It'll be good training for him, now come on, Mama is cooking stew tonight and if we miss first helpings, you'll get a bullet in the brain" Reborn threatened as he began to walk home.
"But Reborn-" Tsuna insisted, but was cut off when Yamamoto placed a friendly hand over his shoulder.
"It's okay Tsuna, I was getting out of shape anyway! My house isn't that far away, I'll be fine" the Rain Guardian insisted.
Tsuna hesitated for a moment, but decided the threat of Lambo getting his serving of stew was a threat in itself, one that he couldn't ignore.
"O-Okay then, just be careful!" Tsuna yelled back as he ran around the corner.
Yamamoto tried to shake away some of the dizziness before beginning to slowly make his way back towards his house. When he had past the first corner, he looked up to the sky, as if remembering something trivial, something his curiosity had just picked out of thin air.
"Huh, that's weird, I never realised how pretty Tsuna's eyes were"
Meal time in the Sawada house was like a stampede, God only knows how Nana managed to live like this, because any other mother would have had a heart attack years ago.
Tsuna devoured the stew, being humiliated and seeing his friend beaten really gave him an appetite. He had stolen a mall pot fill, and was dying to have seconds, when he realised that the greedy cow that was his Thunder Guardian had stolen the last of it.
"Lambo! That was my serving!" Tsuna yelled out, his stomach growling out in protest.
"Hahahahaha! Lambo wins again!" the cow declared.
"At least share it with me! I'm starving over here!" Tsuna snapped.
Lambo's only response was to stick his tongue out at the Vongola heir, making sure to show him that he had eaten every scrap of food. His expression suddenly changed from one of delight to disgust when he was hit head on with a pie filled with poison cooking.
Tsuna looked over to see Bianchi, who was currently swapping her plate with his. Lambo was gasping for air as he suffocated on whatever Bianchi had put into her food, while Tsuna just looked in puzzlement. She sent him a warm smile as she stole a bread roll for herself.
"Here, I'm not hungry anyway, you need all the food you can eat" she replied.
"Um…okay, thanks a lot Bianchi" Tsuna replied, silently shocked she was being so nice to him, normally she didn't hesitate to see he suffer in some kind of way.
He then realized her hand was on his, and was gently stroking it.
That's when Tsuna really started to get freaked out.
He downed the rest of his soup like a tornado, before kindly asking to the leave the table. He didn't even wait for his mother to even speak before bolting upstairs to his room.
But not before he caught Bianchi sending him a wink.
"What the hell is going on today!" Tsuna thought aloud, pacing around his room while Reborn read his "Stealthy Guns Monthly" magazine.
"This is insane! The Dying Will Bullet doesn't work, a bunch of bullies are polite to me, and Bianchi starts acting friendly…in a really creepy kind of way!" Tsuna yelled out, trying to figure out what in the world was going on.
Reborn pulled out Leon, who promptly changed in it's familiar gun form, he then began to search through the bullets he loaded into it, when he came across something that caught his attention.
"Oops…" he said aloud.
"Oops? What do you mean oops? Oops implies that you've got something to do with this, oops means that something really bad is going to happen! Please tell you don't have something to do with this!" Tsuna falling to the infant's height.
"Looks like I fired the wrong bullet" Reborn explained.
"Wrong bullet? What bullet did you fire?" Tsuna asked, fearful of the answer.
"Leon was carrying a special experimental bullet that the Ninth had asked me to test out, I was meant to go over to Italy and test it properly…but it turns out I hit you with it instead" Reborn replied, almost causally.
"…What was this special bullet…?" Tsuna asked meekly.
"A hitman sometimes has to rely on his smarts to get out of situations, seduction is only one of the ways that a man or woman can escape danger of sneak into enemy territory. I suggested the idea that we convert the hormonal responses into a bullet that would allow an agent to affect all people around him with that same response"
"…"
"We called it the Infatuation Bullet, and you are the first test subject"
"…"
"I short, I just hit you with the world's strongest aphrodisiac"
Tsuna twitched, something similar to homicidal rage burning in his gut, he looked to Reborn then into his mirror, then back to Reborn, then to the ceiling, until he cried out one word.
"…WHY!"