AN/ In case you guys were wondering, yes I am aware that you all have the right to kill me for not updating in a year. That one is my bad. I've just had such a hectic year and I honestly thought that no one cared about this story. I hope I can get some positive feedback for this chapter on how my writing compares to what it was a year agao. I don't really deserve reviews but I would appreciate them. You know I actually met Maria Snyder this year. She came to my school on her Australia/New Zealand tour and she signed my books and I got a picture with her. One of the best days of my life thus far. So in summery, please forgive me, review and enjoy this chapter.

Angel of Clarity

My dreams were plagued with dark images. I wasn't even sure what I was looking at most of the time. Mogkan's face floated under my eyelids but instead of the man I loved he was some kind of villain wearing a terrible smirk on his face. That was the curse of dreaming, you always found yourself unable to run or escape your worst fears and you can be forced to face them again and again. I was trapped.

Of course it was a hundred times worse because of everything I had just recently found out. I had been asleep for years and I didn't want to sleep anymore. I wanted to be awake forever because it was the only way to keep the monsters away. And I wanted the man I knew Mogkan was despite the torture. I wanted the love and protection he offered me and I wanted Yelena. I wanted so much that was gone to me and that hurt in ways that I couldn't describe.

I woke up in complete darkness and covered in a hot sweat. It took me a few minutes but I was able to banish my nightmares into a far corner of my mind so I could think clearly. Everything that I had found out seemed blurry and I wasn't sure what was real and what was a dream. By that point my eyes had adjusted to the light and I could see that I was in an infirmary that I didn't recognise. It was then that I knew I hadn't been dreaming and that this was all very real.

Then I had to consider everyone I had met the day before. The Commander of Ixia came to see me personally and Valek, the most feared assassin in the entire world was there was well. The terrible joke Janco made was only funny because it was so terrible. Then there was Ari who seemed to genuinely care about what happened to me, even though he had only known me for less than a day.

These people made me think that maybe there was something else after everything that had happened to me, even that which I couldn't remember. Still there was a long way for me to go before I'd ever consider myself to be alright again. Maybe I could look for May, I could take her away from the orphanage and we could live together and live our lives the way that we wanted. We could go back and visit all the other orphans and pay Brazell back for all the kindness he had shown us. Even as I though these things I knew they wouldn't happen. I couldn't move forward until I knew exactly what happened.

I looked over and saw that Ari was asleep on the chair next to my bed. He looked far less scary than when he was awake. That might have had something to do with the fact that he was sitting down as opposed to towering over everyone with his immense height and also because everyone looks innocent when they sleep.

He seemed to know that I was awake because he stirred after a minute of me staring at him. "Can you stop that? It's freaking me out and it reminds me of something Janco would do." I laughed at that because he said it so casually, without even opening his eyes. It looked very natural and real and for once there was no confusion as to what existed and what was in my screwed up head.

"Do you know what time it is?" I asked.

"How could I possible know that? I just woke up." He replied with simple and infallible logic.

I lay back down and pulled the sheets up until I was comfortable. 'I don't want to sleep anymore. Can you stay awake with me? We can talk about whatever you want." He agreed and I expected the conversation to just flow but it didn't. It was awkward for a minute but then I decided to ask him some questions about his life.

'So tell me, what is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to you?" I figured that if he was a Captain that knew the Commander personally you'd have to figure that his life has been interesting. He must have had some amazing stories to tell.

"I wasn't captain until a few years ago but since I've been promoted I've helped stopped Coues to overthrow the Commander, travelled to Sitia to visit an old friend and helped get rid of some crazy magicians. So I guess you can say that my life hasn't been boring for a while." He was trying to make me curious, either that or he was lying to me and I didn't peg him for the type.

"Does the story end there or do you really hate elaboration? Tell me about this Coues. How was trying to overthrow the Commander and how did they plan to do it?" I couldn't imagine a way to get to the Commander. Valek protected him too well for anything to come close to hurting him. Whoever planned this Coues must have been inventive and I wanted to know what their plan was.

"Well it was complicated and the people behind it had been scheming for a very long time. There were magicians involved and they spent months poisoning the Commander until he didn't have any defences against their magic and then they brainwashed him to try to achieve their evil means. Thankfully we were able to prevent them from succeeding." I didn't need to know him for very long to know that he was holding something back but he wasn't lying. It was more like he knew something would upset me and was choosing not to tell me. I figured it had something to do with how I ended up here but I couldn't be sure.

I looked over at where he was sitting but he appeared to be sleeping. His eyes were closed, almost forcibly. He was hiding something but I didn't have the right to press him for it because of how short a time I had known him.

"I wish you could tell me what happened, I know that you won't but that doesn't stop me from hoping that you will. I just want to know what happened to the people I care about. I want to know about Mogkan." Something about Mogkan's name made Ari's eyes snap open and caused him to sit up very straight. He looked angry.

"Why do you care about him?" I was surprised by the harshness of his voice and a little offended by it. What right did he have to judge Mogkan when they had never met? "He's the man I'm in love with if you must know. And I want to know where he is."

"I don't have to tell you anything! And ask yourself this; if he really loved you then why isn't he by your bedside? Why do you have no one Carra?" Then he got up and left me all alone.