AN: I REALLY like this chapter! I think I'm a lot better at writing the depressing Eli chapters, I guess my poetry from high school english should've clued me in. Perhaps it's the song being so perfect? Anywho, this one ends happy so don't worry, I'm a sucker for happy endings. ;)

Thank you to Maralita and StgMittens for your reviews. I hope you all like this chapter as much as I do.

This chapter is inspired by the song Cold by Crossfade. I don't own the song or the characters, and I took the therapist's name from a Canadian friend because I wanted a Canadian name. So even though you don't know it, thanks for the name ;) I've never been in this situation so I just went with my imagination. I'm sorry if it's not entirely realistic, it's cute so it doesn't matter lol. Happy reading!

"Here we are bud." Bullfrog pulled up to Eli's therapist's office and parked the car.

"Yeah." Eli didn't sound too excited, but to be honest who's really excited to go to therapy? He had a love hate relationship with therapy. The first few sessions were horrible. He wasn't really comfortable opening up and when he did he would realize how messed up he really was. Often times he would cry and feel like he was taking steps backwards and he would leave in a worse mood than when he came. Although, he had to admit that now that he was opening up more he could feel the sessions working.

Bullfrog reached over to put a hand on Eli's shoulder. "I know bud, but it's gonna get better."

Eli half smiled at his father before opening the door and making his way into the office. He smiled at the receptionist before taking a seat in a chair in the corner; it was slowly becoming his chair. Shortly after he sat down his therapist came out of his office and looked expectantly over to the corner Eli was sitting in, "Mr. Goldsworthy."

Eli got up from his chair, "Dr. Robichaud." He walked past him and into the office. "How was your day?"

"Very well, and yours?"

Eli shrugged, "It was okay."

"Well I suppose that isn't too bad. Shall we begin?" He gestured to the chair across from his desk as he sat down. Eli sat down as well. "Is there anything specific you would like to share to start?"

Eli looked at him for a second. "I-I don't know."

Dr. Robichaud smiled at him. That was how every session with them had begun. "Perhaps there is something in your journal you might want to share?" His therapist had suggested that Eli write down his feelings when he went home to help him cope with his feelings in between sessions. Eli didn't write anything the whole first week. After that first week he slowly started to write in it and found that it did help him a little bit. He still hadn't let him read any of the entries though.

Eli looked down and flinched a little bit. "I wanna talk about Clare today. That's what I wrote about."

"Okay, what about Clare do you want to talk about?"

"I saw her today." He was still looking down at his hands. His fingers were locked together and he started bouncing his knee. "She looked happy. I miss her." He looked up. "Why can't I be happy?" His eyes started to water.

"You'll get there I promise. It's perfectly normal to miss her Eli. You were friends, more than friends; those feelings don't go away overnight. What else were you feeling when you saw her?"

"I was angry. At myself for letting her go and at her because she said she'd be here for me. Look around. Where is she? Not here!" He yelled and unlocked his fingers to throw his arms in the air. Then he realized he yelled and looked down, relocking his fingers together in an effort to stop them from shaking. "Sorry."

"It's okay. That's a normal response. She hurt you Eli, it's okay to show that emotion. Look," Eli looked up and Dr. Robichaud held out his hand toward him. "You've already improved. You recognized your anger and controlled it. I'm proud of you." He smiled and Eli returned it.

"Thanks."

"Do you understand why she did what she did though Eli?" Eli looked down again and waited a few minutes before nodding. "Why?"

He waited another couple of minutes trying to frame his answer and keep himself calm. "Because I'm sick and I need help. More help than she could ever give me. I guess I don't blame her. I was horrible."

"Yes. That is a bit much to put on a teenage girl. You really are improving Eli and don't think I didn't notice the use of past tense." He smiled. "We're nearing the end of our session but before you go I want to suggest something. I would like you to write her a letter. You don't have to give it to her; I just want you to write whatever you want to tell her. Whatever you feel, write it down. Of course you can write more entries if you like, or not it's up to you."

"A letter?" Eli was hesitative but nodded taking comfort in knowing Clare would never read it.

Dr. Robichaud smiled. "So I will see you Thursday for our next session. You have my number if you need me sooner. Say hello to your parents for me." He rose from his seat and walked over to open the door for Eli.

"I will. See ya Thursday." He walked outside to Bullfrog's car that was parked not far from the door. "Hey Bullfrog, Dr. Robichaud says hi."

"Hey Kiddo. How'd it go?" Bullfrog was always afraid to ask this question knowing that on some days it didn't go that great. He hated seeing his son hurting.

"It actually wasn't that bad. He said I was making progress." Eli was smiling which made Bullfrog smile even bigger than his son.

"See, I told you it would get better." He reached over and messed with Eli's hair. After laughing at the face Eli made he started the car and drove home.

It was Thursday and Eli was sitting in his chair at his therapist's office. His journal was in his lap and his knee was bouncing, only for a different reason than before. Eli was excited to go to therapy. He felt like his letter to Clare had caused him to have a breakthrough and he couldn't wait to share his entry with Dr. Robichaud.

Dr. Robichaud opened his door and Eli flew up out of his chair and practically ran into the office. Dr. Robichaud was left at the door, his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Good afternoon Eli."

"Good afternoon." He sat in the chair. Dr. Robichaud was still surprised but he figured they would talk about it so he shut the door and sat down.

"Is there anything specific you would like to share to start?" Eli knew this was coming and smiled while throwing his journal on the desk opened to his letter to Clare.

"Read it." Dr. Robichaud was even more surprised that they didn't start the session the way they had been previously. He was getting used to starting the conversation. Nevertheless, He reached for the journal and started reading.

Dear Clare,

Looking back at our relationship I see that I never really ever got it right. I never really stopped to think of you. I got too wrapped up in that stupid fight with Fitz that I never gave you the attention you needed and deserved. And I know that wasn't the only problem that we had. The hoarding and Julia…God I'm SO sorry about that. I should have made sure I was completely and fully over her before I even thought about starting a relationship with you. It was totally unfair of me, and I'm sorry. I never wanted you to see that messed up side of me. I never wanted anyone to see it. I guess that's why I kept the lock on my door. But now the lock is gone and so are you.

I never wanted you to go. I understand why you did though. Don't feel guilty. I'm not mad anymore. You were there for me Clare; you were what got me by. Thank you for that. You did more for me than anyone else ever could. Maybe in a different light you could see me stand on my own again. But you've moved on. I understand, and I'm okay with it. Now it's my turn.

Love always,

Eli

Eli was sitting in the chair, his knee bouncing anxiously as Dr. Robichaud read his letter to Clare. He had never read any of his journal entries and this was a really personal entry to start him off with. He was trying to figure out what he was thinking by looking at his face but he couldn't see anything. After a few minutes Dr. Robichaud finished reading, closed the journal, and looked at Eli. He smiled.

"Definite progress here Eli. I can see why you were so excited to share this with me. Thank you."

Eli smiled at the reassurance. "No, thank you. I feel so much better now that I wrote all that down. I know I'm nowhere near being back to the way I was but it's progress. Progress is good, and I'll take it!"

The smile was still on Dr. Robichaud's face. "How'd it feel when you wrote this?" He didn't want to ruin Eli's good mood over his breakthrough but the question had to be asked.

Eli smiled. "That's what I asked Clare when she wrote her letter to her parents." He paused as he was remembering and Dr. Robichaud feared that pause might be a step back. But Eli continued. "I'll admit I wasn't a happy camper if you will, when I wrote that. I stared at the page for quite some time before I even started writing, and then I had to take a break when I started crying because I didn't want to get anything on the page. But after I cried it out and finished it I-I felt really good. I felt better than I have in a long time."

"Good. I'm so proud of you Eli. You're making steps in the right direction." They spent the rest of the session talking about Eli's breakthrough. "So, I will see you on Monday. You really should be proud of your progress Eli. Don't forget to say hi to your parents for me."

Eli smiled at him. "Thanks." He left the office and made his way outside to Bullfrog's car waiting for him in its usual spot. He got in and practically attacked Bullfrog in a hug. Bullfrog returned it, not knowing what kind of mood his son was in.

"Are you okay?"

"Better than okay."

"Then what's with the hug?" He was confused.

Eli smiled. "Thanks for believing in me dad."