Chapter 4

It was about an hour before sunrise and emotions were running high after the Turtles' family meeting. There was a rare moment of Venus losing her temper and lashing out. The slap across Raphael's face did more to bruise his pride than damage his face. He rubbed his jaw as he sulked on the couch with a scowl on his face that could peel the paint off the walls. He was clearly upset about something, but the others just didn't know what it was. When Michelangelo came into the living room area a few minutes later he could tell his brother was not in the mood to talk, at least not in a civil manner. That wasn't going to stop him from giving Raph a piece of his mind about his treatment of Venus.

"Hey, Raph!" The brooding turtle cut his eyes at his little brother. That was all the response he gave for the moment. "Where's Venus?"

"I don't know and I don't care," he grumbled. He actually had some idea of where she went since he had seen her leave the Lair with Leonardo close behind. He didn't budge as Mikey stopped in front of him staring down at him with hardened eyes. It was one of those rare moments the normally upbeat Turtle was showing his anger. It wasn't that he never felt it, it's just that he usually disguised it with humor to make himself feel a little more comfortable in certain situations. But right now he had had enough of his brother's foul attitude.

"Raph! What you said to Venus was really out of order!" the orange masked mutant growled. His sibling slowly looked up at him with a slightly amused expression.

"Oh yeah? I'm outta order, huh? What about her tellin' us all that crap about what we should do about our future? Her ideas are so sick and twisted, yet you and Donny fell for it hook, line, n' sinker!"

By now Donatello had ventured into the living room after hearing the raised voices. He knew if Mikey was mad enough to yell then things did not bode well.

"I don't think what she said was sick and twisted at all! I mean, if you disagree with the method, fine! You don't have to be a total ass about it!" By now Mikey was clenching and unclenching his fists fighting back the urge to punch Raph in the mouth. He didn't take kindly to anyone talking badly about Venus, not even his own brother.

"So you think her ideas are so great, eh?" He slowly stood from the couch until he was muzzle to muzzle with Mikey. He then spread his arms wide with a smirk. "Take a look around you, bro. I mean really look! Does this look like something you want to bring a child into? A life living underground in hiding in a place where people flush their shit? Would you really chose to bring a child into this world where we can't even roam freely without worrying about people freakin' out at the sight of us? You really want to have to explain to your kids why the humans can live in comfort up there while we skulk around down here? You think that's really fair to do that to a kid on purpose?"

Mikey faltered trying to come up with a response and failed. He visibly relaxed as he let his brother's words sink in. With a heavy sigh Donatello flopped on the couch with a defeated look on his face. Raph hooked his thumbs into his belt while shaking his head.

"Look, you guys do what you want. As for me...I don't want no parts of this." With that Raphael made his way to his room.

Michelangelo sat next to a worried looking Donatello. He couldn't exactly tell what was going through Donny's mind just by looking. There was no telling what thoughts he was turning over and analyzing with his intellect. Perhaps he was weighing the pros and cons of what Venus and Raphael said to see which idea made better sense. If they chose Venus' approach they would have to overcome the children's natural curiosity about the world to shield them from the disappointment they had gone through themselves. If they went with Raphael's idea they would be met with the prospect of going into extinction. In Donatello's mind extinction was not a welcome option.

"Well, here we are stuck as the possible peacemakers again, Donnie-boy. What do you think we should do?" Mikey asked, his normally cheerful, playful demeanor replaced with a serious and mature one.

"I truly don't know, Mikey. All of this has me feeling a bit crazy right now. I do know this. Whatever each of us decides we mustn't rush things. I believe in making educated and well informed decisions when it comes to issues like this. It can't be taken lightly."

"I know that!" Mikey grumbled, a bit irritated at Donatello's non-answer. "It's just that what Raph said got me thinkin' about what we went through when we were kids. I mean Splinter had his hands full taking care of us, protecting us, and teaching us how to survive in a hostile environment. On the flip side, our kids will have a lot more protection and guidance since there's more of us. On top of that we know the kinds of things they could face since we lived through it ourselves, so it's not like we'll be going in blind. It's just...a lot to consider, man."

Mikey laid his head in his hands trying to quiet the turmoil in his mind and emotions. While he agreed that the survival of their species was extremely important, there was a selfish part of him that just wanted an opportunity to get closer to Venus...and he hated himself for it.

Venus stared down at the swirling waters below her. She half listened to the distant roar of a motor somewhere further down the sewer line. There was the occasional hiss of steam as several pipes released a buildup of pressure within. It was comparable to the pressure of mixed emotions she could physically feel in her chest. It was painful and made it hard for her to breathe. She felt stifled by something weighing on her mind. She wondered if it was guilt, then quickly wondered what reason she even had to feel guilty. She was trying to build up her family not tear it down. However Leo and Raph's responses towards her made her feel like she was actually doing the latter. She released a quivering sigh as her vision blurred for a moment. Venus was aware that her tears would be coming so she didn't fight to hold them back. She had to release the emotional pressure somehow. Within seconds her tears were flowing in earnest seeping into the cracks of her brokenness. In her distraught state she hadn't noticed that someone had stepped up beside her. She flinched with surprise when she felt arms wrap around her and gently pull her into an embrace.

"Please forgive me if those tears are because of something I've done, Mei-chan," came a tender and familiar voice. Venus made a sound between gasping and sobbing as she relaxed in his arms.

"Leonardo, I feel like I'm the one who needs forgiveness." Her voice was quiet and unsure as she continued. "My big mouth has troubled the sensibilities of this family, but that was not my intention..."

"Mei, please don't think you did anything wrong," he admonished as he propped his chin on top of her head. For some reason his words made her feel even more confused, but she kept her thoughts to herself for the moment. "I have to admit the things you said got me pretty upset, but it wasn't because you did anything wrong. I just felt like...something precious was about to be lost to me forever."

"What...do you mean?" As she waited for an answer her head was pressed gently against his plastron. While he gathered his thoughts she heard ragged breaths rumbling in his chest. It made her wonder if he had been crying too.

"Mei, I gotta be honest...I'm really not comfortable with your suggestion. It's not because it's a bad idea. There's a more selfish reason behind all this. Mei Pei Chi, I want to to be...the only one to ever touch you that way."

The female's eyes grew wide at his revelation, and she was keenly aware of the jealous tone in his voice. She felt a mixture of girlish giddiness, sadness, and a bit of frustration. That jealousy was just one of the problems she didn't want to deal with but knew she had to. She shuddered with excitement when she felt him stroking the back of her neck. She broke from his embrace to face him eye to eye. Leonardo blinked and stumbled back a step. He wasn't expecting an almost fearful look in her eyes and wondered if he had come on too strong. Then his worry that she didn't return his feelings crept into his consciousness and he felt as if his heart would shatter at any moment.

"Leonardo, it is my turn to confess." Leonardo's heart sank in anticipation of the worst. "I...must admit that my feelings for you are beyond just friendship. In fact I would say we have developed a spiritual connection." Now he felt relief. Things seemed to be going in a better direction. "However, I cannot make a promise to you I cannot keep." Apprehension gripped him once again and he wondered if he could take any more of this emotional roller coaster. "I do not wish to be unfair to your brothers, so I must at least give them an opportunity to continue their bloodline."

Leonard let out an exhale of frustration and paced back and forth for a few seconds before turning back to Venus. Why was she making things so hard for him? Why was the love he wanted to share with her and her alone so elusive? He felt defeated even though he wasn't even in a battle. He had a fleeting memory of when Mikey would jokingly tell him that love was indeed a battlefield. Most of the fighting he did was within himself. He loved Venus, and the idea of sharing her stoked the fierce flames of jealousy within him. At the same time he was deeply troubled that he even had those feelings. He knew she wasn't trying to hurt him or snub him. However, for some reason he felt that way. He sucked his teeth and shook his head when he realized if he didn't come to some kind of decision he would end up driving himself crazy. He lifted his blue eyes to meet her hazel, humbled by her steadfast determination for fairness and asked her a question.

"Can I at least be your first?"

*Next Chapter: Leo gets his answer and the Turtles prepare for the spring and the future.