Special thanks to my new Beta NCChris! She rocks for how great the chapter turned out!
Disclaimer: I own nothing that is twilight!
Chapter 8 – Baby, It's Cold Outside!
The fire was crackling in the fireplace giving the room a golden glow. Jasper and Bella were curled together under a fleece blanket on the floor of the cabin with her back to his chest, a book in her lap. They were celebrating Christmas Eve in their own way, relaxing together and relishing in the physical contact they both craved. Though the summer in Texas was excruciating the winter was quite cold, and riding to the cabin was becoming difficult.
Two months had past, since he first brought her to the cabin. It had become their sanctuary each referring to it as home. Renee had acted impassive after Bella's first escapade.
It broke Bella's heart even more to see how her mother lacked any care for her. She truly hoped there was an ounce of love or something to make her care for her well being; but all she did was huff when she saw her enter and walked away. To her, as long as she kept up the charade of her engagement, what she did on the side was non-existent. Since then, Bella could not even be bothered to sneak out; she would just walk out the front door. What was the point if her mother truly did not care?
Traditionally, the Whitlocks had an annual Christmas Eve Ball that evening. In light of the season, no one was excluded. That meant, that even Bella and her mother would be attending. Renee had arranged for Mr. Hunts to be her escort to the ball, but to her dismay and Bella's relief, he had business to attend to in Edinburgh.
In the months following her mother's revelation, many had caught wind of the engagement. The town had been buzzing with talk of the union, whether there would be an engagement party to celebrate or how soon the pair would marry. There were even some who questioned the man's sanity for allowing him to be conned by a woman such as Renee. Nonetheless, Bella was officially deemed engaged and unavailable, at least to the public.
At the ball she had played the perfect daughter. She socialized with all the important people, according to her mother. When her engagement came up in conversation, she would simply ignore it or allow her mother to take over, which she eagerly did. Many asked her to dance, but she only accepted to a few, none being the one she truly desired.
The night was far from coming to a close, though with so many intoxicated not many were paying attention when Jasper finally asked her to a dance. To others it would seem like they were just dancing at a respectable distance, nothing amiss. Though every now and then, his hand would tighten around her waist or he would squeeze her hand gently as a show of affection. At one point, he even got close enough to whisper in her ear to meet him near the stalls twenty-minutes after their waltz. She simply nodded as her response and continued enjoying their limited contact.
They inconspicuously slipped out at different times to not arouse suspicion. Bella's excuse, she was tired and wanted to retire to her home. Renee allowed her to leave satisfied that her daughter had acted properly during the evening. Jasper made no excuse. He simply slipped out, knowing it wouldn't seem suspicious if he disappeared from the party. After all, it was his parents hosting and the whole town knew the young Whitlock to have an aversion to celebrations of this nature.
"The phantom slowly, gravely, silently, approached. When it came near him, Scrooge bent down upon his knee; for in the very air through which this spirit moved it seemed to scatter gloom and misery" unable to stand it any longer he snatched the book from her hands and she gasped, "Hey! I was reading that!"
"Yes I know, but I have read this story every year since I can remember I don't think I even need the book to recite it."
He was exasperated they only had a limited amount of time together; he did not want to waste it reading.
"As have I, but its tradition to read A Christmas Carol. It reminds us to be humble and grateful for what we have," she countered.
" It's a story about a bitter old man who sees ghost, darlin'. He only repents himself because he scared they'll come back," he retorted.
"What do you suppose we do? It is Christmas Eve we should follow some sort of tradition."
She raised her eyebrow in a questioning manor.
"Well," he elongated the word, "Momma always let me open one present on Christmas Eve."
As he said this he reached into his pocket, took out a small jewelry box, and placed it on her lap.
"Oh Jasper, why did you do this? I could not get away from my mother to get you anything! Now I feel awful!"
"Hush woman, and open your present! Your presence is gift enough as is your love and appreciation of my gift to you."
Bella blushed at his words, while holding the tiny package in her nimble fingers; its weight magnified by the significance.
"Will you just open it?"
"My, my, aren't we impatient," she tut-tutted her tongue at him, while he poked his out at her teasing.
She turned her head back to the task at hand, purposely opening the box slowly. The breath she held left her body as soon as she saw the gift. Inside the jewelry box laid a somewhat large silver locket. Its oval shape and detailed border gave it elegance, yet it was simple enough to be worn with anything.
As she took it in her hands Jasper whispered in her ear to turn it over, and she did. On the back, it was engraved in the most elegant of scripts, but what she truly noticed was not the script but the letters. It was their initials JAW and IMS all intertwined written over the word forever. The meaning was not lost on her.
Bella felt Jasper's thumbs swipe under her eyes wiping away the tears she hadn't noticed where falling.
"Don't cry beautiful girl. You don't like it?"
She shook her head. Gentle sobs racked her body, but she managed to whisper.
"I love it, thank you."
She felt him relax after that. As her crying calmed she turned in his arms and pulled him into a searing kiss. Unable to straddle him fully do to her dress she slowed the kiss until they were just pecks.
"I love you!" she exclaimed, punctuating each word with kisses.
Nothing at this point could wipe the beaming smile of her face.
"I love you, too beautiful girl!"
"Is there anything in it?" she asked as they went back to their original position, while she examined her gift more thoroughly.
"No, I left it empty for you to put in whatever you desire."
"Can I have a small portrait of you to put in?"
"I have a better idea; Momma had us take photographs with that new camera thing. I could bring you a small one to put inside," he suggested, remembering when his mother had come into the house raving about the magnificent new invention she had just heard of.
She immediately ordered for them to have their pictures taken, since they were smaller and more detailed than portraits. There were many that had been taken and placed all around the house. He knew there were a few to spare. He would be able to cut one of them to the right shape for the locket.
"Jasper, what a brilliant idea! I'll leave the opposite side empty, I have a feeling it is meant for another picture not yet taken."
"As you wish, darlin'."
She gestured for him to fasten the necklace around her neck. As he did, his hand lingered on her neck. He murmured "beautiful" as he placed kisses where his hands once were. A moan reverberated from her chest as he sucked at the sensitive skin under her ear. His hand caressed her cheek, angling her head to reach her lips. The kiss was tender and slow, it conveyed all their emotions, and they kept that pace, neither wanting to ruin the sweetness of the moment.
It was Jasper that rolled them over so her back was to the floor and he was on top. Their tender caresses turned desperate and rough as the kiss became intense. While leaning his weight on one arm, Jasper's other hands began to roam her body. Satisfaction filled him when he heard her gasp as he reached to fondle her clothed breast. Taking advantage of the opportunity he deepened the kiss.
They had never let their feelings completely take over until this moment. Bella's mind was clouded with haze from the magnitude of their passion. She couldn't think clearly; she knew they should stop, but was physically unable to do so. As Jasper's lips left hers, trailing down to where he had undone the neck of her chemise, her mind cleared slightly.
"Jas-Jasper… st-stop!" she panted, "We ca-can't, not now."
He groaned whilst dropping his head to her chest, his breathing was still labored. Worried she had done something when Jasper still wouldn't lift his head to look at her she timidly called out to him,
"Jasper?"
"Gimme a minute Bells, you don't know what you do to me," he mumbled in his embarrassment, obviously trying to calm his arousal.
The situation would have had Bella in a fit of laughter had he not used the nickname her father always affectionately called her. Sensing her unease, Jasper lifted his head. He instantly became alarmed at her somber expression.
"Darlin' what's wrong?"
"You called me Bells," was her only response.
He couldn't fathom how one nickname could make her so morose.
"Well yeah… when you giggle it's like bells… plus with your name bein' Bella it fit…"
He worried she had taken the nickname wrong. Had she found it offensive? What could possible be offensive about Bells?
"My father used to call me Bells."
Her voice was monotone, holding no emotion. Her expression was worse, no hint of a smile or a true frown and her lips were simple a line.
They had discussed many subjects and confided many secrets up to this point in their relationship, but Bella's father was never an issue they addressed formally. Sure, he heard about him in passing during her many retellings of childhood stories, yet she had always held in the magnitude of her emotions regarding her lost father.
He remembered the time she recounted when her father wanted to try to cure her of her clumsiness, and developed a system. She was to walk across a giant log until she could make it across without falling. Apparently after various scraped knees and elbows, her mother forbade the experiment from continuing. Though, Bella did admit that after that experience, it took more than air to bring her down. Thus she deemed it a success.
"What happened to him Bella? One moment you talk like he's dead and the next it's like your expectin' him to come walking right through that door!" he exclaimed.
There would be no more skirting around the subject. She had to face her demons, and Jasper knew it.
"That's because I am," she though in response to his last statement.
She let out a shaky breath and with it her whole story fell from her mouth. She recounted her childhood, how she was closer to her father than she ever was to her mother. How the women of town talked of her mother because she acted as if she was superior to others.
The sobbing started when they reached the last year in Port Townsend. He held her and comforted her as she told him of the countless fights her parents had during the last few months there. Her mom had picked a fight at the slightest hindrance to her lavish lifestyle. Their final fight had led to Bella enclosing herself in her chambers for days at a time. Her father never returned to the house.
She knew he had done it for her and for his friends, but she still felt the pang of abandonment, leading to momentary lapses in judgment. Her mother had used some real bullshit on her brain, making her believe that he had abandoned her and she shouldn't have had to wait around for him. All it took was one seed of doubt for her mother to cultivate it, truly making her believe he had abandoned them.
She later realized her mistake but it was too late. She and Renee had already left and were in the process of moving into the house in Texas. After clearing her head Bella was left with the guilt of never knowing if her father was alive and decided to abstain from forming any link to this town she now despised.
As her tale wound down her sobbing increased while she repeated "It's all my fault!" over and over. Jasper's heart broke at seeing the love of his life so vulnerable. She shouldn't have to blame herself, he thought.
"Shh darlin', it'll be ok, you aren't to blame here," he cooed while gently rubbing her back and kissing her hair.
He looked as if he were holding a wounded child, pained and in need of care. After much encouragement her sobs calmed to small hiccups.
"I-ru-ined-our-ni-ght!" she managed to utter while still slightly sobbing.
"No you didn't!" he said.
She had avoided the subject long enough; it was good for her to discuss this. He could tell she already felt a small weight leave her shoulders; crying was always a good way for emotions to be dealt with.
Once she had calmed down completely Jasper had made sure she understood that it wasn't her fault. Her mother preyed on her emotions.
The rest of the evening was spent enjoying the warmth from the fire as they reminisced about more of Bella's childhood. Jasper learned more of what made Bella the woman he fell in love with. They laughed at the antics she would involve herself in as a child. She even threw in a couple of tales involving good times, when Renee seemed almost human.
They rode back to her house, parting after they shared a lingering kiss that neither wanted to end. The comfort and warmth the night had held had been left behind in their cabin. She thanked him for her gift and promised it would never leave her neck.
Once back at his house, Jasper noted that the guests were gone and the house was eerily silent. His curiosity was satisfied when he stepped into the foyer and noticed the grandfather clock in the sitting room. Its hands where pointing to four and ten. They had been gone longer than he had expected. The night's events ran through his head as he prepared to retire for the evening.
A/N: Ok so I know it's been a while. Inspiration was hard to come buy when the stress of the SAT is looming over my head. THANK GOD IT'S OVER! Links to pictures of the locket will be posted on my profile. I don't really have much to say, except I have a beta now which is why this chapter (in my opinion!) is awesome. You know my stand on reviews, so please do!