Paul had been unwilling to let her out of his sight. So unwilling in fact that even when Embry and Jacob had returned from chasing Edward all the way through La Push to the border, he had remained stalwart by Bella's side. Every move she'd made, he had followed no more than two steps behind. So when she threw her exhausted body and mind down into the warm embrace of the sofa, he had only been a second behind in joining her.
At first he had sat languidly, one of his large hands wrapped possessively around her thigh. However as the minutes passed and they waited for any news from Jacob, who had taken Leah away to visit with the local rez doctor, he had softened his pose.
Bella didn't mind in the slightest to have her very own six foot five shadow trailing imposingly behind her. In fact, she welcomed the warmth he brought to her composure in ways that made her shudder happily. So as he laid his body down, wrapped an arm around her legs and placed his head softly in her lap, she did nothing to discourage him. It was only moments later as she watched his chest rise and fall hypnotically, drifting into a deep slumber, did she feel the unsettling feeling of eyes lingering on her skin. Looking up she couldn't help the blush that fell on her cheeks to see Embry watching her, his focus trailing over her fragile hand that lay on Paul's exposed upper torso, moving slowly upwards to see the intricate way they'd entwined themselves with one another so easily.
"I'm sorry." Bella said with deep feeling, longing for Embry to meet her eyes, to accept what hadn't even really been a choice for her.
Embry began to shrug his shoulders nonchalantly, but stopped when he noticed the sadness in her eyes, the curve of her plump lips drawing her whole face into a soft frown.
"Please don't do that, Emb, don't make out like it means nothing to you. I know you probably don't want to talk about it anymore, but I just need you to know that selfishly or not, I still care for you."
He couldn't help but feel her words penetrate the mask he had been ready to slip back on, throwing his carefully cautioned mind into disarray. He understood her request, but he couldn't help the twinge of anger he felt towards her, knowing how easily she could have simply let him live with his lie.
"What do you want me to do then, Bells? Tell you that it hurts like fuck to see you wrapped around my brother? Tell you that I wish it was me, just so you have the satisfaction of knowing that your apology is necessary?" He snarled his words, feeling guilty when her eyes widened slightly with shock to see him splayed so raw, but what else had she expected?
"You think I asked for this!" She implored, but not once did she pull herself away from her protector's embrace. "I can't even explain it, Emb! I don't even know him, but he's just…" Finding words for how she felt around Paul felt like something that would almost be impossible. She didn't know him well enough for love, didn't really understand him enough for like, but she still needed him in ways that she couldn't articulate.
"You forget I can see his mind, Bells. You don't need to justify it to me; just stop asking me to understand, okay?" He begged, and automatically she hung her head with shame. She understood that what she was asking for was selfish, but she just wanted everything to fall neatly into place without any leftover emotions lying abandoned to trip over.
A silence amassed between them, and though his eyes rested on her fingers, fingers that were subconsciously caressing Paul from his hip to his chest, they were both content for the moment to rest within their own minds.
"What do you know about Emily Young's death?" Bella asked from thin air, pulling Embry back to the present with welcome relief and pushing aside the catastrophe that had unwound over the past twenty four hours. He debated internally over how much he should admit to, but as she watched him flicker between uncertainty and decisiveness, he didn't appreciate how open his thoughts were to her.
"Please don't lie to me, Emb… I feel like I was handed this really intriguing invite to a party, but I can't actually get in the door. So if you're going to pretend you don't know anything, just say that, okay?" She'd never been quite this brutal with him before, and underneath he understood that for now he was the only one who would see this side of her, something which he told himself to embrace.
"I know that Paul knows something about it. I know that Jake's been trying to force his way into his mind with no luck. I also know he thinks Leah knows the whole thing too, but he's too scared of fucking up this whole imprint thing to challenge her about it." Embry admitted succinctly, and Bella nodded along, accepting that he probably only knew as much as she did when it came to actual facts.
"Edward said some really interesting things, Emb. I know you probably think anything that comes from his mouth is bullshit, but he said Leah had played a part in Emily's demise and she all but admitted it, Emb. I mean, she was outright crying at the accusation. And then he said that they'd destroyed one of their own, not only that, but brutally." Her confession had turned into a whisper, and gradually her fingers had stopped their silent caress.
It took a few moments for Embry to process her words and not simply dismiss them as she'd rightly predicted he would. "What do you want to do about it?" He asked genuinely, understanding that his role in the pack had never been solidified to anything other than the Alpha's best friend and as such his loyalty was not yet tethered within the ranks.
"I think we need to talk to Jake, and if that doesn't work, I think we just get the pack together and have it out. If what he said was true, then maybe he's right, Emb… not about everything, but…" She couldn't help the way her thoughts had been meandering, even if her whole soul retched up just thinking about the potential outcomes.
"Don't fucking say that!" Embry shouted, and when Paul shuffled his body restlessly, she sent him a sharp look, telling him in no uncertain words to keep his protests at a civilized level.
"Fine." Embry huffed, but his words were much closer to a whisper and Bella couldn't help sending him an approving smirk. "Maybe Cullen knows a thing or two about what went on with them and Emily, but it doesn't mean he has all the answers. Have you even considered that maybe she was crying because it was her fucking cousin you were talking about? And anyway, don't you think the more important thing we need to focus on is what the fuck Cullen wanted with you anyway." Embry sat back and opened his body in a very confident manner, but Bella knew the boy hiding underneath the façade of the man.
"He thinks we belong together, Emb, he as much as said so and I think it's why Paul won't leave my side…." Bella sighed and then moved on, trying to resist another conversation about the ridiculousness of having a Vampire intent on seeing her in his arms. "And I get what you're saying about Leah, Emb; really I do, but you didn't see the look in her eyes, you didn't see the guilt oozing from her." Mimicking his pose, she sat back, but it was a little more difficult with two hundred and fifty pounds of pure muscle restricting her movements.
"So what? You think Leah killed her?" Embry asked in a very condescending manner, but he was met with a difficult sincerity.
"I don't know, Emb, but I'm not willing to ignore it anymore. Something happened between them all, something which is obviously affecting us now. The last thing I want to do is point fingers, but what if he was telling the truth, what if she did kill her, or what if they all did?" Bella didn't bring to life her unspoken fears that maybe Paul had been the one to deliver the final blow, but she knew the possibility was creeping further and further into the conscious realm of her mind.
"Bells, I think maybe you just need to get more sleep, to rest awhile. I mean it's not everyday you get held hostage by a leech and I think maybe it's fucking with you a little. I mean maybe you just need to leave the important stuff to us." His words were soft, but Bella could hear the harsh reality behind them. Let it go, he was saying, stop delving into something that doesn't concern you. It was the first moment she had felt truly alienated from her old friend, and she couldn't help the little sting of tears that pushed against the back of her eyes. In light of the alienation, she didn't want him to see her weakness, to see how much he'd affected her with so little effort, so she pushed aside her emotions and with a strength she didn't know she possessed, she pushed Paul's head from her lap.
Brushing down her jeans, she rose fluidly and with a nod in his general direction, she bid Embry goodnight, not even turning to look to Paul, who she knew would follow soon after.
As she walked away, her face now properly hidden from his line of sight, the first tears fell, rolling heavily down her cheeks.
Paul didn't need to tell her that he'd been awake for the latter part of her conversation with his brother, didn't need to see the red tinge to her eyes to know that she was shedding tears over something she couldn't control. He just knew that enough was enough, that too much time had passed worrying about something he had never had the capacity to control.
Pressing the door of the smaller bedroom back into its frame, feeling the click of the latch in the palm of his hand, he didn't say a word. He didn't force her to face him as she rolled into her body on the bed. Instead he simply wrapped himself around her, drawing strength from having her so close.
His thick fingers pulled wet strands of hair away from her face, running low into her scalp as he massaged the pain and tension from her body. Only when he felt she was under her own control did he lift her with one hand, turning her to face him and forcing her eyes to his when she tried to look away, to hide herself from him.
"You aren't an idiot to ask those questions. He's just scared for you and he doesn't know how to protect you anymore, especially with me around." Paul spoke with sincerity, but there was still that edge to him which kept her slightly at bay. Bella couldn't help but feel that she wanted to attack that barrier he had erected with a sledge hammer, to push him so far that he had no other option than to break. But then he wouldn't be Paul, she argued, he wouldn't be the unfathomable annoyance that kept her thinking, that kept her crawling back for more. He wouldn't be her wolf.
"Leah didn't kill Emily." He said clearly, his voice low and meant only for her ears.
It took just a moment for her to wrap herself around what he was saying, what he had just offered without a single question falling from her mouth. Not too many days ago he had told her that he could say no more on the subject, but here he was divulging truths with no prompting.
"You told me you couldn't talk about it. That Sam had placed orders on you." Bella couldn't hide the suspicion from her voice, because either he had been lying to her before, or something she didn't comprehend had changed things drastically.
"Quil joined the pack today. It was the reason why Embry left you alone, even though it was fucking stupid of him to do that." Paul raised his voice slightly, and Bella knew he was chastising his packmate, using their conversation to remonstrate.
"Having more wolves in his pack makes Jacob stronger as an Alpha, and until now the orders Sam had on me still stood. Quil phasing screwed that all up." Paul sighed, not hiding just how displeased he was with the new arrangement.
"So that means you can tell me who killed Emily?" Bella asked tentatively, trying not to indulge the way her heart was beating just a little faster, fear and impatience vying for her sole attention as she watched him war within himself.
"Yeah it does…" Paul said slowly, his eyes capturing hers intently, looking for something she couldn't fathom to provide.
They lay in silence for what felt like hours, Bella pressing back her impatience with each breath until Paul felt the moment was right. But when he opened his mouth to speak, she wished she'd never asked at all. "It was me… I killed Emily."
a/n: A big thank you as always to my wonderful beta Twiticulate, who never fails to add her own brand of magic to these chaps.
And a huge thanks to all you readers who take the time to review/alert and simply join me each week. I know I don't appreciate you enough...
As always, I'm aiming for the next chap to be with you on Wednesday, so fingers crossed, I'll see you then. xxx