Bella took one long last look at Embry, his head cocked to the side in curiosity, wondering why she was staring at him so intently. There was no choice she concluded, no place in her heart left to feel anything other than the bonds of friendship for someone who had once held such possibilities. Lending him the softest of smiles, she turned back to Paul, her feet heavy as she crossed the distance between them.

The air felt smooth on her skin and as she lowered herself down by his side, she was immediately grateful for the heat he exuded. He didn't look up from his hands, but she could tell from the way his body had hitched itself slightly in her direction, he was well aware of her presence.

"I don't need you to tell me that what I did was a mistake." He growled sharply, the ferocity of his voice unnerving her slightly. She didn't think that fear was something she could really feel with her wolf, but he was certainly testing the hypothesis.

Not uttering a single word, Bella lifted her head to look out into the forest, the deep darkness easing her thoughts into simple questions. He was still here, barely feet from where he'd laid his confession and as far as she could tell, there was nothing holding him back but himself.

The strength of her principles lay shattered all around her, and though she wanted to believe that each circumstance deserved a true hearing, she had also been brought up with a strict father's voice, whether it was at the end of the phone line from three thousand miles away, or shouting directly in her ear. A criminal was a criminal, was a criminal. There was no such thing as a shade of grey where the law was concerned. Looking to Paul, she couldn't understand half of the things he had to deal with on a daily basis, couldn't even fathom what it must feel like to first lose your body and then your soul to a curse beyond your own choosing. Nevertheless, she still didn't know if that meant she could excuse him for brutally harming an innocent girl, accident of otherwise.

It was that last thought which struck a horrific nerve, one she would never speak aloud to her wolf; Edward had been right.

"Will you tell me what happened?" Bella asked suddenly, realizing she could go around all day in her head without understanding him anymore than she did in this moment, but he had answers and silently she pleaded for them to be just.

"What else is there to say? I fucked up and she's dead." Raising his head sharply, she knew he was looking for something, sympathy, judgment, anything he could hurl around and use as a means to pull away. Arranging her features into the blankest canvas she could concoct, she waited for him to go on, as she knew he would.

"I know what you're going to say, Bella… You're going to tell me that it wasn't my fault, that I didn't have the power to control it, and that you don't blame me, but I don't need your fucking acceptance, okay?" His voice had raised to the point that Bella noticed Embry shuffling a little closer to the door, but she only held up her hand, begging him back as she took Paul's stare into her own.

"Actually, I don't know what to say right now. I don't know if I blame you or not, because all I know is you got a little pissy and sliced a girl in half. I would like it if you would stop being such a stubborn prick and tell me why you did it, but if you don't then I guess I'm just going to go on thinking that the guy I'm destined to spend the rest of my life with is a fucking heartless killer." Bella ranted, meeting the volume he'd shown her with ease. She couldn't remember how many days it had been since he'd rolled into her life and convoluted it beyond recognition, but she knew it was far too few for the levels of anxiety and stress she'd suffered.

Holding her stare his lips rose slightly in appreciation, admiring the way she had stood up to him. His imprint never failed to surprise him and it brought back just a snatch of his humanity.

"Now if you want to talk about it, then great; let's go. If not…" Bella just shrugged her shoulders, secretly hoping he wouldn't opt for not, because she hadn't actually thought her plan through that far yet.

Her body pricked with anticipation as he took the better part of forever to make up his mind, but when he rose to his feet and held out his hand for her to take, she didn't hide the small smile of triumph on her lips. She didn't look back to see Embry standing, positively unsettled in the doorway of the cabin, nor did she notice when Paul pulled her from her feet and turned soft steps in an angry release as they tore through the maze of trees like wildfire.

Paul was out of breath when they found the moon once again and Bella knew it was a testament to how hard he'd truly pushed himself. She didn't utter a squeak as he lowered her down onto her bare feet, the sharp prickle of undergrowth drawing her attention from the magnificent world he had brought her too.

The trees seemed to line up behind them, waiting with endless patience for their turn to fall down into the ocean below, the sheer drop just inches from her toes sending her heart spiraling. Still, her fear only added to the beauty of the moment, the dark waves crashing against the rocks with only moonlight to guide them along the way. It felt like the ends of the earth and she knew when she turned to see Paul slumped against the thick bark of a tree, that he had brought her somewhere that was dear to him.

Bella didn't wait for any clearly expressed invitation to join him, nor did she disturb his peace as she followed him to the forest floor, waiting for his revelations.

"I seriously don't know why I'm telling you this; it won't do any good." Paul said, his eyes lost in the expanse of the ocean.

She wanted to tell him that it would likely do no harm either, but she held her tongue. She wouldn't offer placating words when she knew they would only fall on unwelcome ears.

"There aren't many people who I would call a friend, even fewer I would say I actually give a fuck about; Leah is both of those things. She isn't what you are to me, and she never will be, but she and Jared were the first people who showed me that other people weren't around just to be manipulated. This isn't a fucking happy ending Bella, they didn't show me how to love again and bring me inner peace or some shit. Right now one of them is dead and the other can barely say two words without making me think about how I killed her cousin right in front of her fucking eyes."

Bella hands itched to hold themselves out to him, but for once she managed to will herself back, to press them under the pressure of her thighs and hope that she would have the strength to keep them there until he was done.

"I know you probably want some fucking eloquent description of why I did what I did, but it really isn't too complicated. Emily hit someone I care about, someone I would kill for…" Even Paul managed to twitch slightly at the choice of his words, but barely a second later he was plowing on as though nothing objectionable had been said. "…And when you've got a seriously powerful feral animal driving your instincts when someone hits one of your own, you react." Paul took a moment to run his hands through his dark hair, his eyes suggesting a heavier burden than his words denied. "I'm sorry I hurt her, I really am. If she'd just been a little further away, if it had been a week later and I was more in control, if Sam had reacted quicker, or if Jared had managed to pull me away in time. There are so many fucking 'what if's', B, that it will probably drive me fucking insane thinking about them. The only important thing, the only thing you need to know, is I reacted and someone got killed." Paul spoke with such clarity that Bella couldn't even begin to feel the edges to pull away what was a carefully constructed bravado, and reveal what was actually him underneath.

Staring at a small rock that was threatening to topple over the edge of the cliff down into the depths below, Bella felt the urge to stand and push it, to finish off what it had decided to begin. Turning to Paul sharply, she spoke softly, knowing she was opening up to him when he was closing down so effortlessly. "What do you want me to do with all this? I mean we've never even really spoken about the whole imprint thing and what it means… Do you want me to forgive you, to understand? I need a little help here because I'm trying to figure out where I stand with this, and yet I don't actually even know if it's necessary." Bella knew he would think she was being weak, asking him to make her decisions, but it wasn't anything of the sort.

"What do you mean, 'if it's necessary?'" He asked, his interest piqued enough to provide something in his tone other than a concerted calm.

"I mean, when you stop fucking holding us hostage in the woods. Did you want to date? Did you want to be my boyfriend? What?" Even in the current tide, Bella couldn't help feeling extremely exposed with her impromptu diversion.

"I want anything you'll give me. Hell, if I had my fucking way you'd live in my place and never leave, but somehow I don't see you or Jake going along with that plan. But fuck yeah, I want you in every part of every day." Paul said and Bella was surprised with his passion, with the fire that blazed in each word.

"Okay." Bella concluded, and then she found that the small wave of pleasure she'd felt had to be extinguished to deal with the actual important things that were thundering through her once peaceful life.

"What if it happened again? What if I hit Leah, would you attack me?" Bella asked sincerely, not holding any punches where her future was concerned.

Paul paled instantly and though he only shook his head, she understood that her question had riled him.

"What about if someone hit me, what would you do then?" She pressed and just as she'd known it would, his answer sent a chill hurtling down her spine.

"I'd kill them in a fucking second."

Bella pressed her teeth down into her lip to prevent her instinctual response from escaping, allowing herself some time to mull over his intensity.

"What if I asked you to promise not to? Not if they were human at least?" She knew it was a lost cause when it came to Vampires or any being on an even playing field. Just the thought of him using something his elders had bestowed on him as a gift in such a horrendous way, left her unwaveringly walking away.

"I could do that…" He said thinking and Bella was surprised when he came to a firm conclusion so soon. "I can promise to do that."

Bella sighed, pleased to have won a small battle.

"I need to think about what happened. I didn't know you, I wasn't even there, but I also need to be certain it's something I can live with before I decide where we go from here. Right now I want you to take me back, because if I stay out here any longer with you, I'm probably gonna do something I'll regret." Bella was pleased for remaining true to herself and when she stood, she didn't mind that he lifted her into his arms. However, it was only with great internal strength that she didn't wrap herself around him, obliterating her mind with her body.

They roared through the trees in a pace that felt much slower than it had on the way out. When the cabin approached and she didn't feel the hot pant of his breath on her neck, she knew that he had taken his time, given himself the moments he needed with her before he accepted that he need to let her to go once again.

Standing on her own, she didn't pull away completely as he expected. For just as moment she stood looking at him, her chocolate eyes flickering over the stoic stance of his features. She was about to turn and walk away when she stopped herself, her fingers reaching out to caress the ridges of his arched cheekbones. "If I did decide to be okay with this, you need to let me in, because if you want me to be with you every moment of every day, I can't do that unless I know you care."

Having said enough, she left him standing along in the clearing just beyond the cabin door, his skin still tingling where her touch had been. He would never ask for her forgiveness, never expect it, but if she was willing to accept his actions, then maybe someday he thought, he could too.

a/n: With thanks to my lovely beta Twiticulate...

xxx