~May 1997~

Deserted; that's what the cemetery felt like. There was nothing there whatsoever. No people, no animals, and no magic. It was truly deserted. Remus had to go here, just in case something happened. He wanted someone to know something. He walked slowly, purposefully, towards the grave of Sirius Black. As usual there was a red rose in his hand. It wasn't being clenched as it would have if he was nervous or afraid. He knew what he was doing and what might happen to him tonight. When he reached the grave, he set the rose down lightly and then sat himself down on top of it.

For a moment his eyes closed. The only thing that could be heard was him breathing in and out deeply. What could he say? He had no idea at all. This could be his last time reminiscing on things. "What did you always say to me when you were about to go off on a mission," he asked, opening his eyes slowly to stare at the headstone. "Wasn't it something like, 'I love you, Moony. And since I love you, nothing will happen because I love you that much.' Yeah… that was it. And I'd always tell you to shove off and be serious for once. Then you would say that you were Sirius." It sounded exactly like something Sirius would have said or done. Again he fell into silence.

The end was near; he could smell it in the air, he could hear it in the whisper of the wind running through the leaves, he could feel it on the warmth of his breathe. It wasn't the end of the wizarding world, but his own end. Never before had he thought he was this close to anything as he was to this. Many times he had felt Death's cool hand brush his shoulder right before a mission. To him it was like a sign, a warning, of take care or I might be seeing you soon. But never had he felt Death looming over his shoulder as if he was waiting to take another soul on to the other side. All he could pray for was that it wouldn't come at all or it would be quick and painless.

Tonks was at her parent's house with Teddy. Hopefully she would stay there and not try to fight. It wasn't good if both of them died tonight just because of her not being able to follow his orders. For once in her life she needed to learn how to listen when it mattered. He could picture her in his mind's eye. Her hair was that purple color that he always loved her to wear, her eyes as dark as the night sky, and a radiant smile on her face that lit up a whole room without even trying. A close second appearance was when she was asleep and he was awake; her hair reverted back to the brown colored hair she had been born with and she looked so peaceful, like nothing in the world was on her shoulders at all.

Then there was Teddy. There was a good chance that he would never get to actually know his father. As long as Tonks was alive, she would be able to tell the young boy all about his father that gave his life to fight for their freedom. Teddy was Metamorphmagus after all; he loved to change his hair depending on his mood. It was rare that he would change his eye color to match, so usually it was a brown about the same shade of Remus's. Teddy's hair, when happy, rested at a teal color. It was bright just as Tonks's was. The little boy was completely and utterly perfect. Nothing of Remus's disease had passed onto the boy, which was very lucky. But their luck was dying tonight for there was a battle, possibly the last battle, at Hogwarts.

To die in battle protecting someone you loved seemed to be the best way to go. So many people had died that way because everyone was trying to protect someone. Whether that was their wife, husband, sister, brother, lover, or friend they were fighting for someone they cared about. That's how James and Lily had gone; the two of them had died for their Harry, who was now organizing a battle to buy himself time to defeat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. They would be proud for their little boy. He had been so very strong in something that should still be over his head. Sirius had died that way as well; he was fighting to make life better for them as a couple.

Remus lifted a finger to the stone in front of him. It was a comfort to him to reach out and touch something that was Sirius's, even though the man never touched it. "Right now a battle's starting at Hogwarts. For all we know it could be the last battle that we have in this war if Harry finds a way to end it all. I think I might die tonight, Sirius. I can feel it all around me; in the air, the trees are whispering it to me. Everything in me is saying that there is a large chance that by the end of the night I'm going to be up there with you, James, Lily, and Peter. Is Peter even up there or is he being punished for the things that he did?"

He breathed out heavily. The fears of dying were finally getting to him. "Does it hurt Sirius? I mean, dying—does it hurt? Can you feel the breath sucked out of you and the ground as you fall? Or are you dead before you even get there? Did you have enough time to realize what you were leaving behind?" There would be time for him to think about that in the afterlife… if he went there. He bit on his bottom lip; that was a nervous habit he had had since the beginning of his life. "Remus John Lupin stop that! I don't want the lips that I kiss to have rough patches!" He could hear Sirius saying that to him all those years ago. It was easy to remember how Sirius would next pull the lip out of his teeth's grip and then suck on it. Somehow that action calmed him down. Sirius could always calm him down.

Remus smiled a little bit as he sat there. A hand had lifted up to his lip. Fear was washing over him, yet not doing too much. He knew that Sirius was going to be up there waiting for him to arrive. That smiling face would be waiting for him. He could imagine that Sirius would be making all these jokes over this morbid occasion. That was exactly how he wanted it to be. No crying allowed over something that would have happened eventually. It just decided to happen at thirty-seven.

The one thing he was going to miss in life, if he died that was, was seeing his son grow up. From what he had talked about with Mr. Weasley, there was apparently no greater feeling than to watch your little boy start off as a baby who can't do a thing then go all the way up to where they're functioning without any help from you. Remus knew there was going to be no way for him to witness that. If he were to die the next he could see him would be when he had lived a good and long life, then passed away without any violence.

Something to be gained was Sirius. They would be able to hold each other, kiss, and just talk like they used to if he died. Hadn't that been what he had wanted for so many years? He couldn't mask it anymore that even when he had been marrying Tonks, all he had wanted was Sirius. Yes, he loved Tonks but it wasn't the same as Sirius. Sirius had been his first love, and probably would have been his last if the boy hadn't died. Tonks was just a filler in the space of the hole that had been punctured in his heart long before she came into the scene.

"I'm just going to be gone for a couple days. Just a silly little mission taking me away. I'll be back in no time; you won't even know I'm gone." Sirius had said that to him two days before he'd been killed. No time had turned into almost eighteen years. And those eighteen years could be ended all by one single quick spell if someone chose to create it. Remus looked down at the grave and shook his head a little bit as if to clear his thoughts. What he needed was Sirius's voice in his ear and the strong arms around him. "If I come and see you tonight remember… remember that I always loved you. Even when I was marrying Tonks, I loved you. I never stopped because it killed me when I thought about trying to stop."

Remus lowered his face down to the cool stone to press a kiss against it. "I love you, I love you, and I love you. I don't think I ever said it enough when you were alive. And I still regret that I never bought you a single rose too. I hate that I always wish that bringing a rose when I come here would make it up to you even though I know that it never will. At least now I'll never have to say good-bye to you." He smiled a little and pecked the stone before lifting his face back up. "I might see you in a couple hours, so be waiting for me up at those pearly white gates if they're actually there."

After planting one last kiss, he stood up and brushed himself off. With eyes focused on the name of his lover, he disapparated to the battle where he would meet his fate. And, eventually, see Sirius once again.

A/N

*sniffles and wipes at eyes* The end. Sadly. I honestly got rather attached to this fanfiction. And now onto the dedications and thank yous!

First I'd like to say thank you to my friend Mel, or PenguinFanatic. She's the one who gave me a song and suggested I write something to it. She was doing something to it as well, it's a Ginny/Harry (and it's up on here), and wanted to see what I gathered from the song. I thank you for letting me write something that turned into something epic.

Second I would like to thank Miss Lainey. She pretty much read over every chapter I wrote and told me if it was good or not. It really did help me when you did that because it helped me know if I was on the right track or not. Plus I know how you love Sirius.

Thirdly I'm thanking the songs that were used. For the first three chapters I used the song Lucy by Skillet to get my feelings across; it was the song given to me to use by Mel. For the remaining I moved to the song Unchained Melody, many people know it as the theme from Ghost.

Lucy: .com/watch?v=d7sjrjiOYYQ

Unchained Melody: .com/watch?v=AEUxPM5ydEo

Lastly I want to thank the people who read and reviewed this! I don't know if I would have kept writing without you.