Fiona lay in bed three hours after school would have begun. If her mother were here to see her skipping in such an incriminating fashion, she would probably declare that she would not be leaving on any more extended trips with their father ever again, or some such drastic nonsense.

Her brother had already called and though he did his best to chastise her and made sure to inform her of how worried he was, he was not her authoritative guardian and therefore could not force her to get out of bed and get to school. Thankfully, the united front they had always held against their parents would ensure he also did not blab.

Despite this, Fiona felt uncomfortable as if somehow, miles away, her mother was having a psychic feeling that her daughter was not functioning, as a mentally healthy person should be. Fiona would be unsurprised if the phone rang with her mother's number showing up right that very minute.

But the phone never rang and she sighed, suddenly feeling miserably alone and regretful that she had not gotten up for school that day.

She supposed she could just go late. Then what really was there for her at that place? Her perfect girlfriend with her condescending remarks and the stupid gossip everyone had to worship and walk on egg-shells around like a god else she bare their worst moments for all to see. Fiona had decided long ago that people were all generic and pathetic—she hadn't been proven wrong yet.

Except of course for her girlfriend who was painfully the opposite; frustrating in the way that her intelligence and demeanor were so thoroughly under her control. She said nothing less than witty or clever, never showed a reaction that was not perfectly calculated.

As much as she awed and attracted Fiona, she couldn't help but feel a bit of resentment about it. Her own awkwardness and inability to gain control over nay situation had plagued her from early on. Feelings such as embarrassment and frustration could be detected easily on her face when she felt them. In even the most slightly strenuous situations she fumbled for the right thing to say and most times fear rendered her speechless.

Despite any of this, she retained her strong admiration for Holly J. If the girl were her girlfriend, she needn't worry about those things anymore. Holly J would be her strength for her; she would be the only person she needed for conversation and quality time-aside from her brother of course.

Her phone buzzed from an incoming text. She checked her phone and smiled as it was coincidentally Holly J, who was at the moment her dominating thought.

'where are you today? Sick or just sleeping in?'

She thought about what excuse she could make, or if she needed one at all. Well, Holly J had seen her at her worst.

'not feeling up for school today. Miss you though'

To her delight, the reply message was understanding rather than pushy, as her brothers would surely have been.

'sorry. I miss you too. I'll come over later to see you then?'

Fiona felt elated. Her girlfriend had asked her if she could come over.

'that would be just the thing to make me feel so much better. See you then'

Getting attention from her girlfriend that he did not have to instigate herself eased the heavy feeling of suppressive loneliness she had woken up to, though there was still a somewhat unsettled buzzing feeling some place inside her that she could not name or understand. Nonetheless, she had long before gotten used to the seemingly permanent feeling of unease that caused her endless anxiety and disquiet. To her it felt like she had suffered an immeasurable loss at one point, like the death of a parent or a family home being burned down.

Of course, in all her privileged life she had never suffered such a devastating single blow. Deep inside her mind, she knew that the feeling was caused by a lifetime of never having a sturdy home or a single friend who sought her attention for more than a week or two before growing wary of her anxiousness and cold demeanor. Plus, she guiltily acknowledged, her parents had rarely praised her, as their attention was more often than not focused on fussing over her unwittingly patronizing her.

Before she could stop herself, she acknowledged that Holly J's message might have been the one time in her life where someone (besides her paranoid family members) asked after her or sought her out for no other reason than they had noticed her absence.

Inevitably, the heaviness returned and her eyes suddenly felt enlarged and sore. Her face contorted unattractively against her will and she grimaced further to stop the tears falling. One single hot drop escaped and stuck in the corner of her eye before the wave of grief passed and she banished any thoughts of the past from her mind.

She decided shopping was the only way to keep her mind off herself. Perhaps she could find something to wear tonight when Holly J came over. She figured she could look at some lingerie while she was at it, though it may be a bit too early in the relationship it would be a good thing to have put away in case.

On a whim she grabbed her phone to ask Georgia if she would care to accompany her to pick out some sexy girl-seducing attire. A single bitter thought of how Georgia hadn't contacted her since Fiona left her house crossed her mind before she made herself concentrate on today's outfit as she messaged Georgia.

She stepped into her room still damp from the shower and wearing only a towel loosely wrapped around her. After closing her bedroom door and taking a glance at the closed windows she let he towel drop and sighed at the feeling of her well-proportioned and smoothed-skinned body completely free and bare. The sight and feeling of her own undeniable beauty made her feel an incredible heat between her legs and she unapologetically thought how much of a shame it was that no one was here to appreciate the sight of her.

The aching between her legs had her hoping her girlfriend wouldn't be as stingy with intimacy as she was with Declan.

Still naked, she checked her phone and the simple reply from Georgia, 'I'm in', caused her to vaguely regret her earlier bitter musings as the wonderful thought of having someone to walk with and speak to placed a rare true smile on her face.

She dared to think that today would be a good day-shopping with a good friend who actually understood her then and evening with her engaging girlfriend. Her life may yet be turning around.

A/n

I don't really know where this came from, but I really like it. Fiona has had a privileged life, and her parents have always been there for her but they didn't realize that maybe their worrying may have felt a bit like disappointment to their daughter. It's often hard for those of us who's parents tried but were inadvertently messing us up to feel as unhappy as we do without adding on the guilt of feeling "unappreciative" or that our unhappiness is unfounded.

When did I turn into such a total bummer?