The Twelve Labors of Barkis

By: Wilona Riva

Disclaimer: I do not own The Corpse Bride.

Chapter Five: The Maggot and the Spider

Author's Note: This chapter part goes out to Nausicaa of the Spirits. Thanks for the story idea.

"How do you know the Heart goes with the Flame?" a smooth voice said, matter-of-factly. "It could go with the Key or the Star just as well."

Barkis slammed the book shut and closed his eyes. Nothing was going right. The old ghoul was going to kill him. His thoughts turned to the glowing ominous book on the shelf. He reached out to touch it, but jerked back as a fiery heat scorched his blue cold flesh. :: This was not normal:: he mused. :: Then what was normal in this place?::

"Aw, did the poor little book hurt you? Try it again. You know you want to," the voice said derisively.

Barkis gulped. "But the Elder said…"

"Chicken!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"I am not!" Barkis shouted. "And here's the book to prove it." He snatched the book off the shelf and instantly blacked out.

Barkis did not see the five floating orbs slowly materializing out of the shadows. The Elder had some secrets he did not share with even his friends. The Guardians were one of them.

Golden stickiness woke Barkis up. The five orbs hovered over him and faded out. "You chose the spider's sugar, Barkis Bittern. Now spin the web you have woven."

Barkis screamed as Mrs. Widow slapped the final silk ribbon on the cocoon encasing Barkis and together with the other spiders, she hoisted him from the rafters.

"Lunch time, girls!" she called.

Silent screams were never heard or if they were, never answered.

"You're lucky we came in time, boy," Elder Gutknecht said, removing the last of the wrappings. "You've made a mess of my study, so you get to clean it." He pointed toward the Crimson Door.

"It hasn't been clean in over a hundred years," Emily said, sweet as sugar.

"Ugh!" Barkis shuddered at the thought. He walked toward the ichor oozing from the door and removed a small sponge and a grimy pail.

"Get to work, boy! I want to see my skull shine when you are through."

(5 hours later)

Emily walked in the door and watched Barkis dip the tiny sponge into the murky water and smiled to herself. "Oh, Barky, you missed a spot!" she sang out, before leaving.

"Oh, bite me!" Barkis muttered darkly.

The Maggot, slithering in after Emily, grinned widely. "Happy to comply!" he chirped. And did so.

Barkis' cries were heard all the way to the Ball-N-Socket Pub.