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The Twelve Labors of Barkis
By: Wilona Riva
Disclaimer: Tim Burton owns the rights; but I can dream.
Author's Note: Giving Barkis a break. He gets to babysit a couple of monsters in the next chapter.
Chapter Seven: You've had enough to drink!
"You've had enough to drink," Barkis told the drunken skeleton.
"But I'm thirsty!" he whined.
"You've enough to drink," Barkis reiterated, sliding a glass down the bar to a customer.
One hour later
"If." Whoosh.
"I." Whoosh.
"Juggle." Whoosh.
"My." Whoosh.
"Head." Whoosh.
"Will I." Whoosh.
"Get a drink?" Glunk. The skeleton placed his head on the counter and leaned toward Barkis. "Pretty please with a sugar and cherry on top?"
"You've had too much to drink," Barkis replied, nonchalantly, wiping a grimy glass.
"Awww nuts!" the skeleton grumped.
"And get your empty skull off my counter," Barkis added, giving the skeleton the Evil Eye.
10 minutes later
"Hit it, Chauncey!" the drunken skeleton yelled, to the pianist. The tune to Itsy Bitsy Spider begins to play.
A drunken skeleton walked into the bar
The kindly barkeep slid him down a drink
Down the hatchet , the skeleton gulped it down
A thirsty skeleton has come into the town.
"No dice," Barkis answered him.
5 seconds later
The skeleton slumped into a barstool. Every thing he could think of resulted in no drink. He'd rather be alive at this rate.
"Here, for a rotten performance," Barkis said, passing him a glass of really expired sour orange juice.
"Bottoms up, pal," the skeleton said, taking a swig.
Barkis leaned over the counter. "Out of curiosity, how can you be drunk? Where do you put it?"
(Hic) "I don't know. It just goes right through me. (Hic) The now very drunk skeleton hiccuped again and flew to pieces. Literally.