12 Labors of Barkis
By: Wilona Riva
Disclaimer: Tim Burton owns Corpse Bride. My imagination is no weirder than his.
Author's Note: My friend Amaki Owlaf is writing the next two chapters. For Draka Drakula. Let the games begin.
Chapter Eight: Babysitting can be a Nightmare
Barkis slipped on the floor as he chased after the miniature skeleton, who's blue and white hat blew off from running away so fast. His child-like giggles humiliated him almost as much as what Barkis slipped and fell on, but not quite. The fresh yellow stains showed up on Barkis' clothes, particulary his trousers, and he snarled.
"Come back here you michevious little brat!"
More giggling was the only answer he got as the kid ran around a corner and out of sight. Barkis got up and gave chase, slipping on the stone pavement as he went.
Why, oh why did they give him babysitting duty? And how the heck can they have such leaky diapers!
He emerged into the main street at last where most of the skeletons were and everything froze. All eyes, and empty sockets, looked down at Barkis' pants. From the look of it, it seemed as though he had gone in his pants. All the skeletons laughed, some of them laughing their heads off, literaly.
Barkis scowled, wondering what it was, and finally realized what they were laughing about.
"Aw crap!" he exclaimed!
"Sure is!" the little skeleton in blue and white said, pointing to the seat of his own pants. Elder Gutknecht scooped up the baby skeleton in his hands. While carefully holding him away from his bony body, the elder carried the boy and thrust him into Barkis' hands.
"Carry out your task, you simpleton," the elder said.
With that shove however, the harrased ex-lord fell over, the baby skeleton landing on his chest, pee and poo now all over him.
"I hate kids," grumbled Barkis.