I had found myself thinking lately about him. I knew what I did was wrong, but my curiosity had gotten the better of me and everything got out of control. It was several weeks ago that it happened. He had left as he usually did without saying a word while I was asleep.
I woke up several hours later to find I was alone again. It was not that abnormal for this to happen considering the past and how many times this kind happened I was grateful if he came back. Silence filled the room and what I knew was coming came. I was depressed again and nothing I knew would save me. I decided that day to get up and move around as nearly too impossible as it was I managed.
Walking into the kitchen I found the usual note that was taped to the fridge saying he was out and would be back soon no I love you or anything like that. We just didn't have that kind of relationship at least that's what he told me even though it seemed as though it could work if we tried hard enough, but trying was not option. No, not with Mello it wasn't.
I scratched my head and leaned up against the counter cigarette between both fingers, lighter in the other hand, and a scowl. People had frequently told me when I was young that it took more energy to frown than to smile, but today I felt as though that was not true. Today I felt depressed. I knew though he would be back so why was I feeling like this. I also knew what would happen as soon as he got back, but no matter how much I knew this was true I just did not want to admit it out loud.
Damn…I wished so much that I had had my own independence, but where, where would I be if I did? Dead maybe? Mello had told me countless times that I should be grateful for everything that I had, but here I am thinking only of the bad. I only knew bad and if I had known today would be the day that I would become acquainted with the bad and the evil then possibly I would have stayed in bed? Yeah Right.
Hope that wasn't too shabby. I was pressed for time. Review?