Twelve Labors of Barkis
By: Wilona Riva
Disclaimer: Two words: Tim Burton. "The Song That Doesn't End " was written by Norman Martin. "The Oompa Loompa Song" (just the first verse) comes from the original (Gene Wilder version) of the movie Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Chapter Eleven: La musique est ennuyeuse.
"This is the song that never ends,
It just goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,
And they'll continue singing it forever just because—This is the song that never ends,
It just goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,
And they'll continue singing it forever just because—"
Barkis ran screaming out of the Bone and Socket Pub, clutching the sides of his head. "Make it stop! Make it stop!"
Paul paused for a moment. "Itz has begun!" he exclaimed.
The pub went wild. The Maggot was having a field day.
(the next morning)
Emily put a cold compress on Barkis' head. "There, there, Barkie, you're alright now. I told you that the song would stop with some TLC."
Barkis just pulled the covers up to his head and whimpered. The voice hadn't gone away, he wanted to tell her; it just switched soundtracks.
(later that morning )
Barkis scooped up a bit of chocolate pudding and was about to bite into it and moaned in pain. "Here, we go again," he muttered.
"Oompa loompa doompety doo. I've got a perfect puzzle for you.. Oompa loompa doompety dee . If you are wise you'll listen to me. What do you get when you guzzle down sweets? Eating as much as an elephant eats. What are you at, getting terribly fat? What do you think will come of that. I don't like the look of it. Oompa loompa doompety da If you're not greedy, you will go far. You will live in happiness too, like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do Doompety do."
Barkis banged his head repeatedly on the table and started to cry.
It was going to be a really long day, and the Maggot was just getting warmed up.
(sometime about mid-afternoon)
Barkis ran, crying and clutching his head, into Elder Gutchknecht's study. He prostrated himself before the elder skeleton and pleaded for mercy. "Elder, please help me! I can't get it to stop!"
The skeleton frowned. "Stop what, my son?" he queried, knowing full well, since it was his idea after all that the Maggot had latched on to this latest escapade.
"The voice. It's driving me insane," Barkis wailed.
"Good, then you won't mind the cure," Elder Gutchknecht said, casually, pulling a book from who-knows-where in his rat's nest of a library. "This is what you must do..."
(late at night on stage at the Bone and Socket Pub)
Bonejangles couldn't help laughing at Barkis performed the Chicken Dance perfectly. "Sweet!" he told the Maggot, who just laughed maniacally.
"Two more!" the Maggot sniggered, watching Barkis take "his medicine."
Author's Note: Yup, you heard right. Two more chapters and the epilogue to go. Really had fun doing this chapter. Title translates: "Music can be annoying".