Okay okay. I know it has been a long time and although I had my reasons and explained them, I would still like to apolo-OW! I SAID I HAD MY REASONS! WHY WOULD YOU HIT ME? Anyway, I would still like to apologise (glares at guilty person) for not updating for so long, I wanted a long chapter to make up for it and still couldn't manage it through my assignments, tiredness and lack of motivation. BUT I did my best for you guys and managed a chapter of middling length.

Valkyrie's Pov

After a lot of yelling and Fletcher punching on Skulduggery's part, we finally managed to get him calm enough to explain. Skulduggery glared at Fletch, unconvinced but deciding not to argue. Well, I suppose he had the right to, it did look pretty bad. I giggled and Skulduggery turned to me and tilted his head. I stopped immediately and smirked at him instead.

"Come on Skulduggery, you have to admit that it was funny."

"Funny? You were half dressed, Tanith is always half dressed, and Fletcher had tied you both up, which could only happen if you let him."

Tanith was about to object and then looked down at her low cut, form fitting leathers and the protest died on her lips.

"Me and Tanith weren't allowed to use our powers against him because he is such a crap fighter, we already told you that."

"He couldn't have beaten Tanith though, even without her powers."

"Explained that too."

"Shut up."

"Not until you admit it was funny."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Not."

"Too."

"Not!"

"Too!"

I saw Tanith and Fletch try to ease their way out of the room but I swept my arm out without turning and Tanith crashed against the floor and was held there struggling. Skulduggery took Fletcher. I smirked and we turned to them. Tanith pouted.

"Crap."

"Aw, is the big, bad swordswoman stuck on the ground? Did she fall over or was she pushed down by the shy little girl"

"Shut up.""

"Great comeback."

Tanith stuck her tongue out at me.

"This is so unfair." She muttered.

"Suck it up." I told her but moved over to stand next to her.

I pursed my lips then let out and over-exaggerated sigh and hauled her up. She moved a safe distance away and I walked over to Fletcher, who had been lying there complaining.

"Skulduggery?"

Skulduggery groaned and crossed his arms grumpily, letting go of the air. I leaned down to haul up Fletcher but as soon as I grabbed his arm, he pulled on it and I tumbled on top of him. I landed with a thump and looked up, getting lost in his deep blue eyes. I smiled at him and leaned down for a kiss. I got so distracted that I was unaware of anything else until I heard a cough and growl behind me and I turned around guiltily to see Skulduggery standing there with his arms crossed and his eye sockets focused on Fletcher. Tanith was next to him grinning.

"You are really not helping your case Cain."

"Um…"

Tanith laughed but decided to help.

"Aw, come on Skul, its young love, leave them alone."

"Young LOVE?" Tanith grin faded as she realized that it was the wrong thing to say and I sighed in exasperation.

"You know what she means Skulduggery."

Skulduggery visibly clenched his fists in an effort to come down and had only just managed it when Fletcher's natural instincts took over and he had to speak up.

"Although it could be more if you like, Val?" He said, looking at me suggestively and winking. I rolled my eyes at him and shoved him off.

"Um…" I repeated as I saw Skulduggery hovering of the ground with anger literally pouring off of him.

"Uh oh, now you've done it Fletcher." Tanith whispered. Fletcher gulped. "Although," she continued, "I have always loved a good fight."

That was all she managed to say before Skulduggery leaped and tackled Fletcher to the ground.

"How DARE you say that, you disrespectful…" Skulduggery paused while trying to think of a suitable threat without swearing. "DOLLOP HEAD!"

"You really need to stop watching Merlin, Skulduggery. You're over 400 years old for god's sake and it is making you lose the wittiness and egotistical edge in your replies, although I must admit it is rather humorous to watch a 400 year old skeleton call a 20-year-old boy a dollop head. Not to mention that the three of us together could easily beat you in a fight because we are just that awesome so you shouldn't even try."

There was silence and somewhere a cricket chirped as everyone stared at me in shock.

"What?" I asked self-consciously.

"I don't think you need to worry about Skulduggery losing the wittiness and egotistical edge to his replies Val, because you seem to have stolen them."

"I have n-" I stopped midsentence and gasped in horror when I realized that she was right. "Oh no!"

Skulduggery cocked his head cleared his throat before turning back to Fletcher.

"Anyway, you do not speak to my incredibly immature partner in such a way, despite the fact she is mentally incompetent and most likely does not understand what you are saying half the time anyway."

"Shut up Skulduggery."

Tanith smirked. "Much better, Val."

"Thank you."

Fletcher was still looking up at Skulduggery terrified.

"It was just a joke!"

Tanith butted in again.

"It may be a joke to you, Val and even me, but Skulduggery is an old codger and like a father to Val and probably doesn't like you making inappropriate innuendos in front of him."

"I don't want him making them ever."

"Whatever, I don't care. However, like I said I enjoy a good fight and since Skul has calmed down we need to fire him up again! So…Why don't me and the old codger sit out here and gossip about all the cute and eligible men around and you two go upstairs and um…have some fun."

During this Skulduggery was getting tenser and tenser until he suddenly snapped and launched himself at Tanith who dodged him easily and laughed.

"Come on, Val. I think he needs to have some payback after hurting your boyfriend."

"I can take care of myself!" Fletcher yelled and Tanith snorted.

"Whatever. Val?"

I smirked and jumped up beside Tanith and stuck my tongue out at Skulduggery like I was three years old.
"Come on Skulduggery, Tanith was right to call you a old codger, you move slower than Kenspeckle!"

Skulduggery roared again and Tanith and me laughed in unison, throwing out punches and kicks until Skulduggery smashed through a door…and got stuck in the toilet. We looked at him and smirked.

"Well, that was easier than expected." I said smugly.

"I am surprised that he can even get stuck in the toilet considering he's nothing but a bag of bones." Tanith said randomly and I nodded in agreement.

"Oh wait!" I said and moved over to the struggling Skulduggery and activated his façade tattoos, allowing us to see his frustrated expression and his bottom lip sticking out in a pout.

Tanith clipped a pair of bound handcuffs on him and dragged him out of the toilet. Skulduggery struggled but went along considering her couldn't use magic or hit anyone. Me, Tanith and Fletcher could not stop laughing as we clipped a hook through the back of his expensive suit and hung him from a flagpole. (Don't ask how they managed it, it is beyond me.)

"This is cruel." He whimpered.

"We know." We sang without a shred of remorse and laughed again.

Suddenly Skulduggery's façade changed into one of pure triumph and he pointed to someone behind them and we all turned to see who it was. Kenspeckle walked up randomly and studied Skulduggery's predicament with amusement.

"Kenspeckle, they said you move slow!" Skulduggery said as if expecting him to do something.

"And?"

"Punish them or something and help me. You couldn't possibly leave the amazing moi hanging up here."

Kenspeckle raised an eyebrow at me and turned back to Skulduggery.

"Meh." He said and started hitting Skulduggery with a stick.

I know it was bad but it is the best I got so don't-OW WHO KEEPS DOING THAT! …so don't throw stuff at me, including the Skulduggery hitting stick. Feel free to review…or not. Either way, thanks for reading and I will shut up now.