Thank you again for your kind words and alerts, I appreciate it. Here's some more angst for you.

The story's going to be bit longer than I anticipated, because I don't want to rush things. I realized yesterday that I can't cram everything in the amount of chapters I planned. But no worry, I won't drag this out either.

I'll stop rambling now. Please, go on and enjoy the chapter.

Chapter 3

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

Brennan had driven to her apartment in a haze. She couldn't remember how she had got there, just suddenly standing in front of her door and wondering what she was doing there. After a moment she realized she needed keys to get in and started fumbling with them.

Once she made it in, she routinely dropped her keys on the kitchen table, shrugged off her jacket and sat down on the couch in the living room. She didn't know how long she sat there, numb, unfeeling. Or trying not to feel anything.

The images were too fresh in her mind to block out. She could still hear their voices, her own sobs... Their smells, the suffocating, musty colone. Don't think about it, she told herself, but she couldn't stop her memories playing in her head as if they were an endless movie. She couldn't stop herself from feeling dirty, violated...She could feel them on her, feel the limgering of their touch. In all of a sudden, she felt squeasy as she rushed into the bathroom.

When she had emptied the contents of her stomach, she stood up with shaky legs. She decided to undress, as she realized she was wearing still the clothes the hospital had loned her, as the FBI had taken her own clothes with them. After all, the incident had been just a part of the murder investigation. She had given her statement of what had happened. She had been forced to go through every single detail, every word. They had forced her to live through it again. She had found herself wishing she hadn't driven Booth away.

Booth... Right now, she needed him more than ever, more than she could bear. This was no new feeling for her lately, to be honest. She and Booth had been spending very little time lately, even after his breakup with Hannah. Things had been awkward for a while now, especially after her telling him she had made a mistake. Booth most likely felt guilty and Brennan felt rejected. She had said she understood, but in reality she didn't. She had been naive to think that he could still love her, but that was over.

Brennan missed the old 'them' so bad that it hurt. She missed the times they could talk about anything, argue about the most unimportant and important things and eat in the diner. She missed the smiles that he would often give only to her. Just 'them'. He had always been there for her, until he... wasn't. It wasn't his fault, really. She had hurt him bad, broken his heart. Then they gone to seperate sides of the world, after that there had been Hannah and somewhere along the way, things had changed.

But that wasn't why she couldn't go to him now. The last few months hadn't demolished the five years of their partnership; she knew he would come through. But she had seen the look on his face when the men had announced their intentions out loud and after she had come back to the living room. It was full of regret, compassion, but also pity. When he talked, it sounded like he was afraid she would break, or that something he said would send her off the edge. He was treating her like a victim. He thought she was weak now. With the strenght she had left, she slouched back on the couch, now wearing only a bath rope. The movement made her battered side hurt, but she barely noticed.

Maybe she was weak. She had always thought she could protect herself, prevent anything like this happening. She knew she couldn't have done anything, considering the gun, without getting Booth or herself killed. But maybe she would have felt better, if she had fought more. These thoughts in her head, she drifted off to a restless sleep.

There was a knocking on her door. She returned to reality with a jolt. Was it Booth who had found out she had left the hospital? Technically, he wouldn't have anything to be mad about since she had stayed until the FBI guys had come, she reasoned.

"Bren, let me in", she heard from outside and she sighed in relief, recognizing the voice. Not Booth. "I know you're in there", Angela hollered, knocking more fiercely.

Brennan took in a deep breath and grabbed a blanket, covering herself with it. She did want to see Angela, but she didn't have the energy to avoid her questions upon seeing her. In addition, she could bet Angela was here because she had talked with Booth. When her phone started to ring, she silenced it.

As the knocking continued, she curled into a ball and closed her eyes. She didn't even notice when the sound eventually stopped.

Brennan had thought she could distract herself with work. She had been doing it for years, if something was bothering her. She would stay in her office doing paperwork until midnight and forget about everything else. That was her plan now. However, she wouldn't be staying in her office as she was hoping to stay out of sight. It was a good chance Booth would turn up at some point. With that thought, she headed down to Limbo.

Her co-workers were giving her some curious glances, but she couldn't really blame them. She had gotten up to get to work as usual. Although not quite as usual, as she had barely slept and eyefull all night. She had stayed in the living room, dozing off for a while and waking up from a nightmare. After a time that felt only minutes, it was already dawn. Therefore, it wasn't a surprise she was a mess. Her bruising had strenghtened in colour and it didn't help that there were now dark bags under her eyes. After showering, she had thrown on the first clothes she could find and brushed her hair, but had not bothered with makeup.

Before Brennan noticed, she almost ran into Cam. Her boss gaped at the sight of her and even in her exhaustion, Brennan found herself hoping she had made even a bit of an effort on her appearance as she was there under the other woman's scrutiny. She already knew what her verdict would be.

"Morning, Dr. Saroyan", she greeted cheerfully, which made her eyebrows rise even higher. Her overcompensating clearly wasn't reaching the desired outcome.

"Morning, Dr. Brennan. What happened to you?"

"Nothing to worry about." She forced a smile on her face. "I was just in a minor accident."

Cam narrowed her eyes. "I see." She was quiet for only a second before speaking with authority, "I think you should take this day off and come back on Monday. Unless you want some sick leave to heal -"

"I am completely fine", she tried to reassure. She already knew there was no point and eventough she had no desire to return home, she had no power in her left to fight over the decicion. "I am definitely capable of doing my work."

"No buts, Dr. Brennan. I do admire your work ethics, but now it's better if you go home", Cam stated sternly, but concern evident in her voice. As she continued walking, she called over her shoulder. "Oh, and If I see you here again today, you're taking the rest of the month off."

Brennan felt her shoulders sag as she turned back towards her office. She had anticipated this, but her spirit deflated all the same. She didn't get far before he saw Booth and Angela talking in front of Angela's office. They both seemed extremely worried, especially Booth, whose whole appearance hinted of deep exhaustion. She wondered if he had gotten any more sleep than she had.

She knew Booth wouldn't tell Angela the whole story. She knew she would tell Angela eventually, but not right now. Besides, her friend looked worried already and she could only imagine her reaction upon finding out what had happened.

She was a bit hurt Booth had tried to get Angela to look after her instead of doing it himself. But she was the one who had kicked him out her hospital room, she reminded herself. She leaned against the wall and kept behind the corner. She knew it was irrational and childish to be hiding like this, but she saw no alternative. She couldn't go to Booth, because she certainly wasn't ready to face his pitying face yet. She was feeling bad anough for herself already.

"What?"

Booth was hearing about her departure from the hospital. As Angela guided him to her office, Brennan slipped past them. She would go home before Booth would find her. As always, leaving him left her with a pressure in her chest.

Soon after fleeting, her phone vibrated in her pocket, but she silenced it.

I'm sorry that it was short, but this seemed like a good place to stop. The song used in the beginning was of course My Immortal by Evanescence. The next update shouldn't take long as it's the weekend. :)