InuYasha and Kikyo are getting married.
Kikyo and InuYasha are getting married.
A hanyou and a priestess are getting married.
My best friend is getting married to my reincarnation AKA worst enemy.
Nope, no matter how many times you say it, it still doesn't stop my stomach from lurching.
I came home from the feudal era a little earlier then I had planned. I came back after two days of being there when I had originally planned on being there for over a week. All because stupid InuYasha and stupid Kikyo are getting married.
When I got home, I walked up to my room in a daze and climbed soundlessly into my bed. I laid in silence for a few minutes, but then my heart felt like it had been torn apart and that's when the tears came out. Three days later and they still haven't stopped coming out.
I've been in my bed for three days straight, only getting out to go to the bathroom. I tried having a bath yesterday but as I sat there with my hair dripping, all I could think about is how pretty Kikyo would look in a traditional wedding kimono and how happy her and InuYasha would be. And then I cut myself shaving so I knew I should just get out and crawl back into my bed, where I can cry in peace and be safe from razor blades.
My mom has tried checking on me every once and a while, bringing food with her when she does come. I can't talk to her though. It's hard enough thinking about it, but saying it out loud? Now that would be too much. I haven't eaten any of the food either. I just drink the right amount of water so my mom doesn't come upstairs and find me dead from dehydration.
It's Tuesday and I haven't even bothered to do the homework that Hojo dropped off for me. I am not in the mood for anything. I just want to cry because it feels like everything's going wrong. Kai is gone until Friday or even later, InuYasha will be marrying the one person in the world I'd consider running over, and there's a nasty and painful scab from where I shaved my legs. Why does God hate me?
"Kagome?"
My mother has decided to pay me a visit.
"Kagome, I made casserole for dinner. There's some leftovers if you want."
I replied by pulling the blankets over my head. That's a no.
"Kagome,"
Shit. She's ready to find out what's wrong with me.
"Honey, you can't stay in bed for the rest of your life."
She sat down on the edge of my bed; I was still under the covers. You can't see me if I can't see you…
"Kagome, you must come out of your bed! You haven't eaten in days and your sheets need cleaning!"
Um, hello? What about my heart which is broken?
She sighed heavily.
"At least tell me what's wrong. You haven't uttered a word to me since Friday!"
Silence…
"Okay…if you need me I'll be downstairs. Try having a bath, that'll refresh you."
Then she left. Finally. And she wants me to have a bath? What if I slip while shaving and slit my wrist open? Thanks mom. You're so considerate.
"Meow?"
I awoke the next morning to Buyo licking my ear. That just made me cry because that might be one of the ways InuYasha will wake up his new wife for the rest of their joyful life.
After crying for another two hours, I decided to give the whole 'baths are refreshing' thing a chance. Instead of shaving, I rubbed the hair removal cream on my legs instead, then timidly stepped into the hot water. Ha. Now the only way I can hurt myself in the tub is if I slip and drown.
As I washed my hair, I had the strangest thought: Have I gone mute? I've read in books where someone hears something so traumatizing that they go mute. Scared, I opened my mouth.
"…Uh?"
I cleared my throat and try again.
"Hel-lo."
Oh. I can talk. Maybe I'm not that traumatized. I continued to wash my hair and that whole crying over InuYasha thing started looking stupid. I mean, so what if he loves Kikyo and she loves him? I love Kai and he loves…oh dear God. I don't even know if he loves me. What if he doesn't? Then I will have lost the two loves of my life. Oh my God…think about how painful shaving would be then?
I shook my head clear of those thoughts and rinsed my hair. I don't care about InuYasha anymore anyway. I was just upset because…because he won't give me piggybacks anymore when I'm tired because Kikyo will need to be carried. Yes. That's the reason. I nodded my head, convincing myself that was true, then stepped out of the bath and began drying off.
Fully dressed and dried off, I went to school. I was a little late, but still made it for a good chunk of my classes. On my way home from school I saw a guy with black shaggy hair and I swore it was Kai. I brightened up instantly but the feeling soon faded when the man turned around and it wasn't him. Then I began crying. As I walked farther, I saw a flash of red through my blurry eyes. Excited again, I rubbed my eyes and searched for InuYasha, only seeing a red go-kart zoom down the road. I broke into a hysterical fit of sobbing.
But really, I'm okay.