I think this is the greatest day of my life.
My Kai is home.
Today is Friday and I went to school in the worst mood possible. My alarm clock didn't go off so I was in a rush not to be late. I was late anyway. Then my pencil broke in half in science and no one else had an extra one. And in math, I was called up to answer a question and I had no clue what to do so I was completely embarrassed in public.
As soon as the last bell rang I was so ready to go and jump of the Eiffel Tower. I walked out the school doors with my head down and my eyes stinging and then I looked up. Standing by the school's gates was Kai, holding the biggest bouquet of red roses I've ever seen. At that moment, nothing else seemed important and I couldn't think of one reason why I should be upset.
I stopped and stared at him, speechless. Then I broke out into a run and jumped into his awaiting arms. He wrapped his strong arms around me and lifted me up, our lips meeting as he did so. All the girls and even the guys had stopped to watch and while some of them awed, the others fumed with jealousy.
My boyfriend is the best in the world.
He took my hand and led me to his car, speeding off to his house. I sat in the car, smelling my roses, and not even bothering trying to wipe of the goofy grin that was plastered across my face. We got to his place and went upstairs, waving hello to his housemaid. As soon as his bedroom door was shut we were in each other's arms, catching up on all the kissing we had missed out on that week. In between kisses he murmured how much he had missed me and how he had come home earlier then he was supposed to just so he could see me.
Now we were sitting on his bed, him telling me about his trip.
"So basically, it was just a major bummer. And that's about it."
I am still smiling. I just missed him so much! I placed my hand inside his and smiled more as our fingers intertwined.
"Well, enough about me. What'd you do?"
Oh no. That pain is coming back. I had forgotten about InuYasha…and now that unbearable pain is back.
"Well…I had a pretty horrible time, to tell you the truth."
"Awe, come one! I know I'm fabulous and all but you couldn't have missed me that much!"
I stuck my tongue out at him and gave him a light shove.
"That's not the only reason I was upset, Mr. Cocky."
"I'm sorry. What was the other thing?"
Is it selfish and bitchy to tell your boyfriend how distressed you are that your first love/best friend is marrying your mortal enemy? But isn't it also bitchy to keep big things like that from your boyfriend and lie about the reason why you're upset? Ugh. I better word this just right…
"Well…uh…okay the thing is, my best friend is marrying this girl who I totally despise. She doesn't treat him right and she is horrible to me. And I don't think he deserves her. And also…"
Here it goes.
"Well, I might be a little jealous. He was my first big crush and stuff so it's kind of hard on me."
Phew. I said it. Unfortunately now I might get broken up with…ugh. At least I purposely left out the part about me actually loving InuYasha. I don't think that's necessary.
The Kai did something I most definitely wasn't expecting. He pulled me to his chest and hugged me close.
"You okay?"
His voice was in a soft whisper; it had an almost hurt sound to it.
"W-what? You're not mad at me?"
He let out a small chuckle, making his chest rumble slightly.
"How could I be mad at you? I can't get mad at you for the way your feeling. You have no control over that. As long as you tell me this kind of stuff instead of keeping it in. I want to be here for you, not push you away for something that you're feeling."
My eyes are watering. Again. Over InuYasha and over how sweet and caring Kai was being.
"Does it hurt?"
I sniffled.
"Does what?"
He then gently placed his hand over my heart. I started crying hard, burying my head into his shirt.
"Please, just make this pain go away…"
He was silent for a while, and then he pulled me back so he could look down at me.
"Do you really want the pain to leave?"
"Yes. Yes, please…I just can't go on feeling like this. It's like my heart is shattering…"
"I have something for you then…"
He stood up and went to a drawer in his dresser. He dug around and pulled something out, sitting back down on the bed.
"W…what?"
In his hand was a baggie of white powder. Huh?
"This is called speed, Kagome."
"Speed…?"
He nodded solemnly, and shook the bag in his hands.
"Yeah…speed. It's a meth-like drug."
"Meth? Isn't that stuff super addictive Kai?"
He nodded a bit, the solemn look still on his face.
"Yeah…it can be. But as long as you're careful."
"W…what's it going to do?"
"Well, speed makes you really awake, hyper. You'll just be very energetic and your feelings of pain and sadness will be traded for feelings of joy and happiness."
"…"
"It won't make you bug out or anything unless you get addicted. Which wont happen if you have it in small doses."
"How do I take it?"
"Any way you want, really. You can inject it, inhale it, swallow it, smoke it, or put it in a drink which I would suggest the most."
"…"
"So…what do you think? You don't have to have it if you don't want to."
He looked up at me, his eyes filled with many mixed emotions.
"I never wanted to give you any drugs, but I just want you to be happy."
"So, let me get this straight…if I take this 'speed', I wont be upset anymore?"
He shook his head.
"But I'll be highly hyper?"
"Unless you put that energy towards something. With speed you can stay up all night studying for a test and you wont even get tired, and all the information will stay. It's really effective…"
"But?"
"I don't want you to rely only on this to get better. I don't want you to get addicted."
"Unless I have small doses, I won't get addicted though. Right?"
"Right."
There's a drug out there that'll erase the pain InuYasha has caused me. I will be happy. Energetic. I can study all night for my school work and catch up. It sounds…perfect.
But hold on. It's a drug. I never thought I'd be someone to take drugs. What if I hallucinate? Become addicted? What if someone finds out? What if it doesn't work?
But Kai takes drugs. He's okay. And he prescribes the right drug to other people to make them feel better. He obviously gives them the right thing since they all come back for more.
"You can always stop taking it if you don't like the results."
Okay Kagome. Let's get over what's-his-face.
"Let's give me some of that speed."