Disclaimer: see chapter 1

A/N: I haven't finished any of the later chapters, but I'm going to guess right now that this is the saddest chapter of the fic. I hope you all enjoy it in spite of that.

…

"Not tonight," Hotch said as JJ stood. The team turned to him. "Let's head back to the hotel and get some sleep. "

The team trudged out one by one until only JJ and Hotch were left in the room.

"Hotch –"

He cut her off, "You're going to need a good night's sleep. You can talk to Downes in the morning."

"I won't be able to sleep." JJ was practically pouting up at him.

"Try," Hotch insisted.

"So then what? I'm supposed to spend the night pacing around my room?" JJ's tone turned sarcastic. "Or maybe I'll roll around the bed in a special dance, so the sleep god to bless me with his graces? That's a waste of time, Hotch. If I talk to Downes now, I can try to throw him off balance. He'll be tired, and –"

"And so will you." Hotch said gently.

"I've worked with this unit for seven years. Not sleeping is a norm," JJ protested.

Hotch shook his head. "Not when something is this personal. You're going to need every resource you can get, which includes sleep. Nothing you say will change my mind, so let's go."

…

It had been hours since the team arrived at the hotel, but JJ hadn't managed to capture a single second of sleep. She was an unfortunate mixture of mental weariness and nervous energy. She tried pacing around the room to relieve some of that energy. When that didn't work, she tried lying in bed and counting sheep, but all she managed to accomplish after 256 sheep were some creative ideas on how to dispose of the them because they failed to put her to sleep.

Wow,she thought to herself. Really, brain? I think someone's seen too many case files.

…

The team met at their usual 7am case morning time for breakfast, which was a quick affair. None of the team looked particularly rested or seemed to have very much of an appetite.

"Hey, baby girl," Morgan said, pulling JJ aside as they entered the precinct.

"I thought that name was reserved for Garcia," JJ said semi-seriously.

He smiled at her. "I think she'll be fine if I make an exception just this once."

"So," JJ said awkwardly.

Morgan looked her in the eye. "I just want to make sure you're ready."

High-strung emotions and lack of sleep paved a quick road to anger. "Doubting me again, Morgan? Really?"

"Woah," Morgan said, holding up his hands. "Not at all. I just want to make sure you're ok. We all do."

"I know." JJ immediately felt guilty. It wasn't like her to be that quick to anger. "I just…"

"It's ok," Morgan smiled reassuringly at her. "I know what it's like to have the team find out all the bad stuff. Just remember that the team's right behind the glass if you need us. And if he does anything stupid, I will kick through that window and tackle his ass."

JJ couldn't help but laugh. "Then I guess there's no way I can persuade any of you to not watch in the observation room. Some of us do like our privacy."

"And devoid myself of an opportunity to kick through a window? Not a chance." He took her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. "You'll be ok."

…

"Good morning," Downes chirped when JJ entered the room.

Her only response was a glare that would have made Hotch proud.

"I could barely sleep last night. I was so excited," Downes said happily. "How about you?"

JJ ignored his question and pushed a pen and pad of paper towards him. "The names and locations of your victims as per the deal."

"Ah, I recall that you agreed to answer some questions for those names."

Of all the questions in the world, JJ didn't want to ask this one. "What do you want to know?"

"Tell me about the day your sister committed suicide."

"What do you care about that? I thought she only mattered after she was already dead."

"Yes, but every story has a beginning. This is where mine starts. So tell me about that day. I want details."

The memory of that afternoon flashed through JJ's mind.

"No matter what happens, I love you. You know that. Right, Baby J?"

Annie looked sad, but JJ didn't really know how to fix that, so she just shrugged and said, "Yeah. I love you too."

"I want you to have something," Annie said, placing her favorite necklace in JJ's small hands.

JJ's stared at the necklace in shock before her eyes moved to her sister's face. "But it's your favorite."

Annie wrapped her hands around JJ's – which were still clutching the necklace – and said, "I know. That's why I want you to keep it."

"I can't," JJ protested, albeit slightly hypocritically. She had always wanted a necklace just like it.

"Of course you can," Annie reassured her, taking the necklace from JJ's hands and putting it around her neck.

"Really?" JJ asked. She wanted to be sure this wasn't just another one of those tricks her older siblings like playing on her. It wasn't like Annie didn't know JJ had always admired it.

Annie smiled slightly, gave her baby sister one last hug, and walked out the door.

JJ held the pendant up to her face and stared at Annie's – no – her necklace. She couldn't believe it was actually hers. She spent some time happily playing with it – put it on, take it off, put it back on – but as the minutes ticked by, JJ couldn't help but feel that it wasn't right. It still felt like Annie's necklace, and JJ decided that she'd get her own one day and that this one belonged to Annie.

"Annie," JJ called, dashing to Annie's room. Upon finding it empty, she explored the rest of the house. "Annie?"

"I think she's outside, baby," their mother said from the kitchen.

"Thanks, mom," JJ said as she ran out the back door. She'd always liked the woods. Their family had spent a lot of time trekking around the woods, playing hide-and-seek, and watching the seasons pass. It was even home to the Jareau children's favorite getaway spot, a place where the kids could goof off, make a mess, and not get yelled at.

She could imagine Annie's face already. Annie would be happy; JJ decided. It was her favorite necklace after all, and she would be happy to have it back.

"Annie," JJ called out happily as their favorite spot came into view. "Annie, I got a surprise for you!"

It seemed that her sister had an even bigger surprise waiting for her.

"Annie?" JJ gasped, looking at her sister. Annie lay across the ground, blood pouring from her wrists, a knife inches away from her body.

"Annie, no," JJ whimpered, tears beginning to slip down her cheeks. She knelt down next to Annie's body. Annie couldn't be dead. Only grandmas and grandpas died, not brothers and sisters.

What had Daddy said? JJ frantically thought to herself. Something about fingers to the neck. Find the thump, thump with your fingers.

She quickly reached towards Annie's neck. Was it supposed to be the right, left, did it matter? Her fingers moved up, down, left, right, searching for some semblance of life. And then she felt it, a slight pulse under her fingers.

Encouraged, JJ tried to make the blood stop coming out. "No," JJ said, voice quivering. She pressed as hard as she could on Annie's wrists, but the blood kept flowing. "No. Stop it." It wasn't working.

"I'll get you back home," JJ said, trying to drag her sister through the leaves. "Mommy and Daddy will help you, make you all better."

But Annie was bigger than her. And no matter how hard she tried, Annie barely moved. JJ was torn. She couldn't carry her sister back, but she didn't want to leave her alone either.

"Annie," JJ sobbed, shaking her slightly. "Annie, please. Please, Annie, no."

Annie's fingers twitched slightly, and JJ quickly grabbed them. Her fingers were cold. Annie was too cold. It wasn't right.

And then JJ felt something change. Annie's fingers turned a different sort of cold. "No," JJ sniffled. "Annie, you can't. I was going to make you happy." Sobs racked her tiny frame. "I – I was going to – your necklace – I was going to give it back, Annie."

But her sister gave no response.

"I won't leave you alone, Annie."

It wasn't until dinnertime hours later that their father went looking for his daughters. He found them on the ground: one dead, the other looking up at him with tear-streaked cheeks and whispering, "I couldn't, Daddy. I tried."

JJ felt her eyes water but managed to keep the tears from falling. "She went out one afternoon and killed herself. End of story."

"Now, now," Downes said, shaking his finger at her. "I know there's more to it than that."

"There really isn't," JJ insisted, voice cracking slightly.

"You forget that I saw the sheriff's report? I know you were the one to find her, looking to return a necklace or something. Oh, come on," Downes drawled. "This is the only place I'm willing to start. You want names? You tell me the details."

JJ closed her eyes tightly and tried to forget whom she was sitting across. As she began to speak, she pictured her team and held solace in the comforts they could bring.

…

On the other side of the window, the team flinched.

Hotch couldn't help but think of when she had told him about her sister's suicide. She hadn't mentioned being the one to find her sister. Then again, Hotch thought to himself. Knowing how private JJ was, it was a wonder JJ had mentioned her sister to him at all.

So that's why she doesn't like the woods, Morgan reveled. He had believed her cock-and-bull story about the camp director and caretaker. (Though thinking about it now, wasn't that the plot of some horror movie?) And then he believed her again when she laughed at him and easily told him that she didn't know why she was afraid of the woods, that she just was. He couldn't blame her for it. He knew, possibly better than anyone, how important it could become to keep the past locked away in some forgotten place.

Emily remembered Garcia's shooting. JJ had seemed exceptionally affected. At the time, she had attributed it to the close friendship JJ and PG shared. Now she realized that it must've been hell for JJ, the possibility of yet again losing someone who had been a sister to her.

Rossi thought back to the end of Zoe's case. JJ had told him he was the reason she joined the FBI, and he had been egotistical enough to take it all in. He had thought she had the happiest childhood out of all of them. He pictured her as growing up in a loving household, turning into a very empathetic young adult who had been touched by his reading. Clearly, he wasn't the sole reason she had joined the FBI, if he really was a reason at all.

Reid recalled an exchange he had with JJ years before:

"I couldn't imagine having nothing left of someone but a voice message. I think I'd never stop listening to it."

"Yeah, that's sad." He had said almost dismissively before switching to Pinocchio and telling her about nose obsessions.

She had gotten snippy after that, and now he realized he should've seen that it meant something more to her. He turned his attention back to her, committing every detail to memory, so he wouldn't make that mistake again.