Chapter 5: First Time
Claire's POV
After Quil left I felt the familiar ache of losing my family all over again. I opened my suitcase and started unpacking my clothes. I grabbed my chair and tugged it forward. Then I plopped into it. It hurt a little because of the bruises. I grabbed a handful of my clothes and set them in my lap. I decided which drawers would hold which stuff and put all of my clothes away. I went back to shut my suitcase when I found it. The pocket knife my dad gave me. I pulled it out of my suitcase and set it on my bed. I shoved my suitcase under my bed. I couldn't try my experiment with Quil here because he would smell the blood. I would have to wait until I was alone. Just then a small knock was at my door. I grabbed my knife and slid it under my sleeve. "Yes?" Quil quietly opened the door. "Hey," he said, "I need to go to the store to get something for dinner. Do you want to go?" "Um, no I think I'll stay here and read," was my reply. This was my perfect opportunity. "Ok. Well, call me if you need anything. I should be home in an hour." He came over and kissed my head and hugged me. I almost felt guilty for what I was going to do. When I heard the engine of his truck roar into life and him driving down the driveway, I slid the knife out of my sleeve. I rolled up the sleeve on my left arm and opened the knife. I didn't hesitate making the first cut. I stung a little but I felt immediate relief. I cut again. I had maybe ten long deep gashes on my arm. I felt kind of dizzy. The blood dripped on my clothes and on the floor. "Shit," I muttered. I rolled my way to the bathroom. I grabbed toilet paper and mopped up the blood on my arm. I grabbed the roll and rolled back to my room. I got my wheelchair next to the bed. Using both the wheelchair and the bed post for leverage I cleaned up the blood on the floor. Then I wheeled back to the bathroom to get bleach. I went back to my bedroom. My arms were really sore now. I used the same method and put bleach on the floor and scrubbed. I was about to change clothes when the front door opened. "I swear my heart stopped for a minute. "Claire?" Shit! It was Quil. "Uh, just a second!" I yelled through the door. I started pulling out clothes from my drawers. I pulled my shirt over my head, hissing at the sting in my arms. I pulled my long sleeve black night shirt on; my shorts still had a drop or two of blood so I grabbed a blanket from my bed and threw it over my lap. "Come in," I said. Quil came in and when he walked over to me his eyes went wide and an expression twisted in his face that could only be described as agony.