Disclaimer: see chapter 1

A/N: I had planned on finishing this earlier, but I kept getting distracted by Downton Abbey. My bad.

…

After Robbie had dropped her off at the hotel, JJ changed her clothes and reflected on the previous day.

Though the start had been rough, spending time with her family had definitely done her some good. She had even gotten a decent amount of sleep, which she considered a major victory.

Glancing at the mirror, she pronounced herself presentable and left to join the team in the lobby.

She gave them a small smile as they practically swarmed around her. "Sorry about yesterday."

"Not a problem," Hotch said, looking her over. He was glad to see that she seemed almost relaxed. "There's a diner the local LEOs recommended for good breakfast food. Let's head there before going to the station."

"Sounds good," Rossi said leading the team out the hotel.

Emily pulled JJ back and, as they began to lag behind the rest of the team, said, "When I met you, you know what one of the first things I noticed about you was?" When JJ looked at her quizzically and shook her head, Emily continued, "You always look out for everyone. And when I was in Paris, I don't know what I would've done if I didn't have you to hold on to. I guess I just want to say, I know this is hard. Let me be here for you too."

JJ smiled at her and said, "Thanks, but I think I got it handled."

She really wasn't one to share her emotions with anyone. And with the exception of her occasional talks with Hotch, she particularly wasn't fond of sharing with the team. Ever since Annie died, she preferred to keep herself and her emotions locked away for safekeeping. With the team being a bunch of profilers, giving them something felt like giving them everything, and she wasn't ready to do that. If she had to work out her emotions, she preferred to go for a run or talk to Robbie.

At Emily's doubting look, JJ added, "Really, and I know you're all here if I want to talk. If you're up for it though, I might need a few late night online Scrabble games some time down the road."

Emily placed her arm around JJ's shoulders and said, "That I can do, Cheetobreath."

…

JJ calmly entered the interrogation room and sat across from Downes.

She considered him for a moment then said, "I'm adding an addendum to the deal. If you want your manhood intact when you finally make your way to prison, you stop playing with my head. You only tell me things that I actually needto know. Nothing more about me or my family."

"Oh but you're still very important."

"Only what I need to know," JJ reiterated.

"How stringent is that? Because…" Downes trailed off as he felt JJ place her foot on the seat between his legs.

JJ smiled sweetly at him. "I wore stilettos today for a reason."

"Ok, ok," Downes said quickly. "Where did I leave off?"

"You making your way back to Pennsylvania."

"Ah right. But do you want to know when I started killing?"

JJ glared at him. She wanted to say something like "No, you disgusting pig. I'm only interested in when you're going to kill yourself." She refrained and instead said flatly, "Enlighten me."

"That first name I gave you, the one in New Jersey, she was my first kill. You see, it started back in 2006 when the BAU was in town to investigate poisonings. I remember having to go to the hospital to oversee the transport of some bodies because the hospital was so busy.

"When I saw you walking around that hospital, all the memories came flooding back, and I realized how much of a rut I'd been in. None of the bodies I'd been with could hold a candle to your sister. And seeing you… You look so much like your sister. I just – I had to have that again, find someone as good as your sister. The urge was so strong, and seventeen-year-old female blondes aren't exactly common in morgues. That's when I knew I had to kill, I had to get that feeling again, I couldn't just wait for the next specimen to appear on my table."

The memory of seeing JJ in that hospital and being flooded with the urge to recapture his experience with Anna Jareau was beginning to make him hot and bothered. When he'd first told JJ about his experience with Anna, he had been detailed, caring more about JJ's reaction than his own feelings. This time though the flood of memories was redirecting his blood flow south.

JJ quickly brought him back to the present by kicking the underside of the table. Downes quickly snapped his legs together. "Move on," she directed.

Downes complied and scribbled down a new name. "I wasn't stupid though. I always tried to kill outside my 'jurisdiction', though sometimes I would get luck and get a second chance at the body if it came my way. It also made my life easier that I didn't care about my modus operandi. It was so easy to take a look at current case files in the surrounding areas and just copy them. That way I wouldn't attract suspicion. The case files were also very instructive on how to hide bodies. I really learned to appreciate them."

…

JJ glanced at her watch. "One more name, and then we'll break."

"I think it's my turn to ask a question," Downes said.

JJ looked stonily at him. "I believe the addendum stated that we only go over what I need to know."

"Yes, but that doesn't quite nullify the earlier part about you having to answer my questions."

JJ sighed internally. "All right, one question."

Downes smiled at her coyly. "You knew your sister better than I did. Do you think she enjoyed it? The sex, I mean."

Rather than let the question get to her, she snarkily replied, "Well you said you disappointed living girls, I don't see how it should be any different for dead girls."

"Now, now," Downes rebuked. "How about a more thoughtful answer."

"She was dead," JJ said exasperatedly. "You having sex with her was the equivalent of a rhino giving birth to a great white shark on top of her." She snagged the paper and pen from Downes' hands. "You can give me the name when I come back."

JJ met Hotch, Emily, Reid, and Rossi in the hallway.

"I think we're almost done," JJ said as they began to walk towards the bullpen. "I can't see us having that much more to talk about."

"I agree," Rossi said. "He's pretty much up to the present, and unless there's anything major he left out –"

"Which is possible," Reid said. "Guys like Downes like to finish with a big bang."

"But unlikely," Rossi said. "In this case, he's been pretty particular about working his way from the beginning. I doubt there's anything more recent that he can use against JJ."

JJ, Hotch, Emily, Reid, and Rossi joined Morgan and Garcia in the case room. Rossi handed Morgan his notes, while JJ handed the new list of names over to Garcia.

"Wait," Morgan said as he looked over Rossi's notes. "He didn't start killing until 2006?"

"Yeah, why?" Emily asked.

Morgan held up the paper with the previous day's names on it. "Some of these names are from before that."

"What?"

"Some of these go way back," Garcia said. She brought up some files on her laptop. "Some were said to have died in incidents like car accidents, while others have been cases in which suspects were already convicted and put away."

Hotch said, "Downes did say he'd passed some of his murders as the work of others."

"Yeah, after he started killing," JJ responded. "It doesn't make sense to –"

She was cut off by Reid, who said suddenly, "He considered Anna Jareau to be his first victim."

"Kid, he was just trying to get JJ's attention," Morgan countered.

But Reid continued on, "We often pass over things because we see them as only having a surface significance. But what if he considered the corpses that he slept with to be his victims because necrophilia isn't illegal in some states?"

"But there are names of people before 2006 in states like New Jersey and Vermont where acts of necrophilia aren't illegal," Morgan said.

"Maybe because even though it's not illegal he's seeing the act of sex as a sort of violation on them?" Emily posited.

"No," Rossi said. "Downes doesn't consider the sex to necessarily be an act of violation. It's more of a means to an end, the end being his sense of euphoria. He's particular about what he does. In all likelihood, he's used this to extend his time with JJ. He must've known without a reference point we would've never picked up on this."

"More names means more time with JJ," Emily said, catching on to Rossi's thoughts. "He's probably narcissistic enough to want to get credit for what he's done, so he won't make up names, but he wants this whole – whatever this is with JJ – to last."

"We should have seen it," Morgan said, frustrated. "The first name he gave us, we should've known it was important for some reason."

"It doesn't matter now," JJ said quietly.

"Jayje," Garcia said, trying to reach out to her.

JJ backed away. "What's done is done, right?"

"JJ, come with me," Hotch said, pulling her aside. While the others had been profiling, he had watched JJ, and he didn't like her deadened expression and façade of indifference one bit.

He led her to an empty room and closed the door for privacy.

"Get it out. Now," He said sternly.

"What?" JJ's tone was resigned.

"As everything's getting to you, you're turning it all inward. Stop it. You're going to implode. Whatever you're feeling, talk it out with me."

"There's nothing to talk about," JJ insisted flatly.

"Sure there's not. You've spent the past couple of days talking with our unsub about things you wouldn't even discuss with the team," Hotch said, trying to get a rise out of her. "Your reaction to your sister's suicide defined you, still does. You run from your issues or even any potential issues. That's what happened with Will, isn't it? If it hadn't been for Henry, you would've extracted yourself from that relationship eventually. Am I right?"

"Are you profiling me now?" JJ's irritation was starting to build. "And don't you dare bring Will and Henry into this mess."

"That's right. Let's make them out of bounds just like every other topic that has to do with Jennifer Jareau." Hotch felt guilty for saying these things to her, but he needed her dam to break, and drawing on anger was often the easiest way.

"You're one to talk," JJ sarcastically fired back. "All you do is brood around and insist you're fine. After everything: Kate Joyner, Foyet, Haley…" JJ trailed off, eyes widening as she realized exactly what she was saying. "Oh my gosh, Hotch, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok," Hotch said reassuringly. "I started it. But how about we stick to talking about what's going on in the present?"

JJ nodded. She tried to coherently gather her thoughts but ended up blurting, "He killed them because of me."

"JJ," Hotch tried to interject as JJ began to pace frantically.

"I was his stressor."

"JJ." Hotch tried again.

"It wasn't even a press conference where my face is broadcasted everywhere. No. He sees me in a hospital! A crowded place filled with frantic, paranoid potential patients… And if I'd just stuck with journalism or soccer, I'd probably still have ended up being publicized somehow. At least I would've been clueless about all of this. Ugh… You know what? I should've just been a lepidopterist." At Hotch's confused look, she added, "Basically I should've just stuck with butterflies.

"And you'd think I'd be used to it, right? I spent almost 7 years with this unit denying hundreds of cases, and I don't want to think about how many people died because I didn't think certain cases were of high enough priority. But no, make it personal, and all of a sudden everything feels like a thousand times worse."

"JJ, stop. You're not to blame."

"He killed upwards of fifty girls because of me!"

"No," Hotch said firmly. "He killed them because he's a sick man with a horrid obsession. Look. I know better than anyone that guilt isn't rational. The most sincere, heart-felt words and logical reasoning won't be enough to convince you to stop feeling guilty at this moment. But I can tell you that one day you'll recognize that none of this – Annie's death, whatever Downes did to her, his killing spree – none of it is your fault. After Haley died, you told me about your sister to let me know that you understood and that things would get better. Solidarity can make a huge difference. Let me do the same for you now, because I do understand, JJ."

JJ gazed into Hotch's eyes. That he did understand made a world of difference. "Thanks," JJ said softly. "Thank you for everything."

…

A/N: I hope this chapter turned out all right. I have to admit I had more than a bit of trouble with it, which is why it was so easy to get distracted by Downton.