I don't own Glee.

You've Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 7

"I hear voices…" Connor said. Kurt muffled a snort as he crossed his legs, bobbing his foot in time with his own breathing. "I mean, before I got here there was always the random "you're worthless, you've got to do better" voices. But now I swear to God I can hear voices outside my room at night. And I've looked out the window-no one's there. I feel like I'm going crazy. Well…crazier…"

Kurt stared at his lap, biting his lip to keep from laughing. They were currently sitting in the sitting room during the third levels group therapy time. Dave kicked Kurt's leg slightly, shaking his head as he gave the smaller boy a questioning look. Kurt shrugged and began picking at his nails again. Mrs. Tyme had trimmed his nails for the first time since Kurt got out of the hospital and now they looked horrible.

Connor was a tall, thin boy who had only been at Oak Front Hills for two weeks. He had admitted the first day of group that he had an eating disorder and suffered from illusions and voices. Connor was a very open boy and was normally the one who opened up group therapy. Kurt knew for a fact that Connor was hearing real voices outside his room at night because it was Kurt's voice he was hearing. Connor's room was just around the corner from the chapel Seth took Kurt to every couple nights and they were far from silent.

"I understand how that can be frustrating, Connor," Mrs. Lacey said in a quiet voice. Kurt hated how everyone who worked at Oak Front Hills was so quiet. "I'm sure if you talked to Dr. Barker he would be able to help you with it. Now, would anyone else like to tell us anything? How about you, Kurt?"

Kurt raised an eye, still picking at his fingernails. His bobbing foot started moving faster and he bit his lip. Dave stared at Kurt with wide, hopeful eyes, hoping that today was going to be the day Kurt finally talked.

"I have nothing to say," Kurt said, which was his answer ever group session. Mrs. Lacey sighed, marking something down in the notepad that sat in her lap. Kurt rolled his eyes as he ducked his head again.

"What about you, Dave?" She asked, turning to the surprised jock. Normally people seemed to forget he was there and he never had to say anything. He licked his lips and took a shaky breath.

"Um…It's the beginning of November, right?" Mrs. Lacey nodded, smiling slightly at him in encouragement. "Well hockey season should be starting soon. Like right before Thanksgiving. I…I should have stuck with hockey. But my dad…my dad played football in high school and he thought I should play football in high school so I quit. I…I should be at hockey practice right now…"

Kurt looked up when Dave's voice trailed off, trying to meet the larger boy's eyes. Dave was staring out the caged window behind Connor, a lost look on his face. Kurt was pretty sure he even saw tears running down Dave's face. He reached out a shaky hand, surprised at how small it looked to him and took Dave's hand. Dave jumped slightly, but gave Kurt a small smile.

"You liked hockey, I take it?" Mrs. Lacey said, trying to get Dave to keep talking."

"Uh, yeah. I mean I liked to be on the ice…and I liked all the chaos and slamming into the glass and the bruises from the puck and stuff…I mean it's better than the bruises from getting the shit kicked out of me by the football team…" He trailed off again, but Mrs. Lacey didn't try to keep him talking this time.

"That was a good session, everyone. You have a little bit of extra time before Lunch. AJ, Belle, Annie, and Jesse back to your rooms, please. The rest of you may either sit in here or in the TV room." She nodded at the two orderlies who moved in to supervise the room as she led the others back to their rooms. Connor began pacing the room and Melissa and Meredith walked towards the TV room. Brent and Wade began playing checkers, arguing who got to be red. Dave gestured his head to the small bench by the window and raised an eyebrow at Kurt who wasn't looking at him. He sighed, nudging Kurt's leg with his knee before grabbing the boy's wrist and pulling him to his feet.

"Something's going on," Dave said quietly, keeping his eyes on Mrs. Lacey and Matt who were talking quietly by the nurse's station. "Something is going on with you and I'm not sure it's a good something."

"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked, glaring at Dave.

"Something had been going on with you and what's his name. I may be drugged, but I'm not stupid, Hummel," Dave growled, forcing Kurt to look at him. "And I'm 99.9% sure that I heard your door open after lights out the last night he worked. And you act all miserable when he doesn't work. What the hell is going on?"

"I don't see how this is any of your business," Kurt growled back, turning so he was facing Dave completely. "But yeah, so what if Seth and I are friendly to each other? So what if he talks to me and treats me like I'm actually worth something? So what if he's older? I think I deserve something to go right after so many shitty things going on."

Dave watched Kurt's face, amazed at the even tone he kept as he tore into Dave. His eyes were still dull, duller than Dave had ever seen and Kurt seemed to be focusing hard on what he was trying to get out.

"Listen. I don't care what you do," Dave said, keeping his tone even as Kurt looked away. "But if this makes you worse, if this makes you stay here longer, if I think it's hurting you, well then I'm stepping in Kurt. We're in this together, remember?"

"Fine," Kurt whispered, getting up and walking over to Mrs. Lacey. "Can I got to my room, please?" He asked quietly. She looked shocked, but nodded, escorting him down the hall.

"Mrs. Lacey has been telling me that you aren't participating in group, Kurt," Dr. Barker said, taking a big drink of his coffee.

"I have nothing to say," Kurt said stiffly, pursing his lips as he looked away.

"Would you feel more comfortable talking just to me? I can understand that talking about things in front of a big group is slightly unnerving." Kurt didn't say anything, he just stared at his sock-clad feet. "Kurt, normally I'm not one to push. It's important that you feel comfortable enough to talk to me. But you have been here for two months and you have not talked to me once since you left level four. You need to talk to me, Kurt, or you are never going to get out of level three."

"What do you want me to say?" Kurt yelled, slamming his hands down on the arm rest of the leather chair he was sitting on. "That my boyfriend always complained about how wide my hips were? That he watched as the Warblers held me down and…and…and as John r-r-raped me? He fucking sang to me as I was screaming for him to help me!" Fat tears fell down his cheeks, Kurt's entire body was shaking.

"And then…then I was just so sick of everything. I hated myself and everyone and I couldn't focus on anything. I wasn't even going to Dalton when it happened! I had just went to v-v-vist Blaine and the jumped me! I couldn't fight them off. Not all of them!" Kurt let out a loud sob, bringing his knees up to his chest and hugging them tight. "And my grades were dropping and Dad was yelling at me about how I was so much smarter than that. And I couldn't sing in Glee Club because it only made me thing about it happening. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't eat and Blaine kept saying he was so disappointed in me because I was falling behind in everything I loved. But he let them! He watched!"

Dr. Barker sighed, taking off his glasses as he watched Kurt break down in front of him. "Is that enough for you?" Kurt screamed, sobbing. He buried his head in his arms and cried harder.

"I am sorry, Kurt," Dr. Barker said quietly, standing up and bringing Kurt a box of tissues. He also brought the crying boy a glass of water and Kurt gulped it down, hic-upping loudly. "That was a good start, a very good start. You did so well. I'm going to suggest you go to bed early tonight, Kurt. I'm sure you're exhausted." Kurt sighed, nodding his head as Dr. Barker typed his instructions into the system. Seth appeared at the door and escorted Kurt down to the dining room.

"He's sending me to bed early," Kurt whispered to his secret lover who nodded.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep after dinner. Tongue your pill tonight and I'll come get you tonight. I've missed you." Kurt gave a small, watery smile and nodded. He pushed his dinner around on the plate, taking a bite every now and then, dumping some of it under the table. When Seth finally cleared him to go upstairs Kurt was relieved.

Standing at the nurse's station, Kurt swallowed his medication prescribed by Dr. Barker. With a deep breath and practiced ease he moved the sleeping pill so it was next to his gum by his back molar. Mrs. Tyme sighed but nodded, sending Seth to get Kurt settled in his room for the night.

"You're far enough away from the TV room so you should be able to get some sleep without that bothering you. Tyme and I are switching breaks tonight so it's going to be a little later. I'll wake you up, I promise." Kurt nodded, giving Seth a small smile. Seth squeezed his elbow slightly, giving Kurt a small push into the room. Kurt sighed as the door buzzed, sealing shut. He curled up on his side and cried himself to sleep.

Around two in the morning Kurt's door buzzed before swinging open, causing the sleeping boy to jump. As his heart rate came back to normal, he smiled up at his savior. "Come on, beautiful." Seth said with a big grin.

The two boys walked down the hall, hand in hand. They stood in the doorway of the chapel, Kurt's wide eyes taking in the stain glass window as they always did.

"So I hear you had a rough session with Doc Barker," Seth said in a quiet voice, squeezing Kurt's hand gently. Kurt let out a shaky breath, nodding his head. "Well does it help if I tell you I'm proud of you? I'm glad you're finally talking to him." Kurt shrugged, walking along with Seth. He lowered himself to the floor against the wall across from his room.

"It sucks," the broken boy said, his voice barely audible. "I hate talking about it. I hate thinking about it. And it's all I'm going to see for days and days and days and everyone thinks it's so great that I'm getting this out in the open. And it sucks. I just want it to all go away. I just want everything to stop."

Seth sighed, dropping down next to Kurt. He put an arm over the shaking boy, biting his lip when he could easily feel each rib through the boy's shirt. Kurt laid his head on Seth's shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut tight.

"It's going to be better. I promise you, it's going to get better." Kurt didn't answer. Instead he reached a shaky hand up and grabbed Seth's chin, tilting the boy's head down and kissed him deeply. He wasn't sure what he was doing and the voice inside his head was screaming: "Kurt, you're an idiot." But instead of pulling away, Kurt moaned into the kiss, tangling his fingers in Seth's hair. Set rested a hand on Kurt's thigh and nipped at the younger boy's lip.

After a hot and heavy make out session, Seth's watch beeped and he sighed, pulling away. "Come on, buddy," he whispered, helping Kurt off the floor. He pulled a fresh sleeping pill out of his pants pocket and Kurt swallowed the small pill dry. Seth tucked Kurt in as he did every night they snuck around and brushed his hair off his forehead. "Good Night, beautiful," he whispered, kissing Kurt's forehead. The small boy was already asleep.

As Seth stepped out into the hallway and locked Kurt's door, he never noticed the movement the room over. A sleepy and bleary eyed Dave Karofsky pressed his body against the wall as Seth's eyes flickered back behind him, not seeing the boy out of bed. Dave had seen it all; the holding hands and holding each other in the hall. He'd seen Kurt kiss the orderly and Seth kiss him back. Dave sighed, crawling back onto his bed.

"Fancy is officially out of his mind," Dave mumbled as he let his heavy eyes close again. Dave knew it was up to him to stop Kurt from ruining his life even more.

AN: I hope you liked it. Please review.