Chapter 2 - Choices

"I want a change," he said. "We need to talk."

Victoria was staring at Zorro who was standing in her kitchen. "Do you want to tell me finally who you are?" she said expectantly.

"I haven't got much time now, the alcalde will arrive soon after he has spotted me."

"When do you ever have time?" Victoria asked desperately.

"I heard you are invited for dinner at the de la Vega Hacienda tomorrow evening. We can talk there without interruption."

Z Z Z

After the dinner at the de la Vega hacienda she went for a walk to the garden. Diego had excused himself with some experiments that required his attention and so she was left alone waiting for Zorro to appear. The whole day she had been thinking of this upcoming meeting. She didn't know what to expect. Would he finally reveal his identity to her or what was it that he wanted to talk about? What kind of change was he thinking of?

Still deep in thoughts it took her a moment to notice the movement in the shadows in the secluded spot in the garden. Like always he seemed to appear out of nowhere hardly to be separated from the shadows around him. He pulled her close and kissed her longingly until he finally he let go of her and led her to a small bench urging her to sit down at one side while he took place at the other side of the bench without touching her. He started several times to say something until she got tired of it.

"What is it that you wanted to talk about? Do you want to tell me who you are?"

"No, I can't do this. At least not now. But ever since I proposed to you some months ago I have been thinking about our future. When I started this masquerade I never imagined it would go on for so long and that there would be no end. As long as the alcalde is here, I can't reveal the identity of Zorro to the world. But where does it put us? I want to marry you and have a family, but you can't be married to Zorro."

"What do mean by that? Do you want to break up with me? Take back your proposal?" Victoria asked anxiously.

"No, querida. But I want you to consider the options for our future and make a choice how we will go on."

"What kind of choice do we have at all?"

"First of all we can go on as we do at the moment, waiting for the day Zorro is no longer needed and I can finally remove my mask whenever this might be in the future, putting our private live on hold as we do now."

When Victoria wanted to say something he interrupted her.

"I know you don't like it as much as I do, but you haven't heard all there is. Maybe you like your other choices even less."

"What can be worse than keep on waiting for ever with no real hope for a change?" she said dreadfully.

"We could marry secretly, but we we'll be in trouble if you get pregnant. You'd be disgraced in the pueblo and the alcalde will use you and the child as be the perfect bait to capture me. It will put you in extreme danger and it is not really an option for me."

Victoria only nodded understandingly, thinking less of the danger it put her in but the one he would be in. He would turn himself over to the alcalde to save her being killed as a result.

"It is not a n option for me either. But go on. What else is there?"

"You can marry the man behind the mask and we can live together openly, but it will be probably the most difficult choice." She opened her mouth to say something, before she decided to let him finished his talk.

"And finally I would understand if you don't like these choices at all and want to take back your promise. I can't ask you to share your life with Zorro when I can't make you really happy. I can't give you a normal life as long as I am Zorro, but I'd give up Zorro if this is is price for us to be together."

"No. You can't do this. The people of Los Angeles need you, they depend on Zorro and are helpless without you. I would never ask this of you. Do you want me to leave you?"

"Victoria, I love you more than you'll ever know and I want to see you happy. If you'd rather marry another man than share your life with Zorro, I will set you free although it will break my heart."

"I don't want to marry another man. I love you, Zorro, with all my heart. Why did you say that marrying the man behind the mask will be the most difficult choice? Why can't you simply tell me who you are and marry me?"

"Everybody knows that you're in love with Zorro and if you suddenly marry someone else they will suspect my identity. It would get us killed as easily as if I had married you as Zorro."

"So how would you accomplish it that I can marry you anyway?"

"We have to deceive everybody by splitting up openly and making it obvious that Zorro no longer cares for you."

"Well I could handle this. I can pretend that I'm tired of waiting for Zorro and marry you as yourself after some time."

"Do you really think you want this?"

"Why wouldn't I want to share my life with you?"

"You may not like the man behind the mask."

"When I you proposed to me in the cave it was the man who asked me and not Zorro and I accepted the proposal of the man you are. The man who is behind Zorro's mask can never mean less to me."

"But even if you could love the man behind the mask I would not like to put you in cage."

"What are talking about? What kind of cage?"

"I think you haven't realized how being married to me will affect your life. I never revealed my identity to you to protect you. Nobody can get from you what you do not know. But if you know who I am, it will be different. You have to constantly guard yourself not to reveal the secret. Do you think you can feign ignorance when the lancers are shooting on me and not call out my name? I'm living a life of deceit. I can never reveal to anybody who I really am not even the ones closest to me. Not even the woman I love. I have to find excuses to sneak away as Zorro and make sure nobody suspects me to be him. How can I ask you to share this kind of life with me?"

"Oh Zorro I never knew what it costs you to be Zorro. I didn't know you were so alone."

She was in his arms now hugging him closely. For the first time she had a glimpse on the man behind the mask. "I know now what price you pay for being Zorro. How can you do this all alone?" She wrapped her arms around him and began kissing and caressing him at the same time.

"How can I ask you to restrict yourself and share this double life with me?" he said when they finally let go of each other again. "You are such an independent woman and used to speak you own mind freely. That is something I don't want you to lose. Querida, you don't need to make this decision now. Think about it and tell me when you have made up your mind. I will accept whatever you will decide. I love you Victoria."

He kissed her once more, as if it was the last time, before he left, leaving her in deep thoughts.