Chapter 3 - Decisions

The next day Victoria was not herself. The talk with Zorro was on her mind the whole time and it distracted her from her work. After several broken dishes she went to the kitchen and sat down. Her eyes went to the backdoor always expecting Zorro. As much as she hoped for his appearance, she also dreaded it. She was not ready for a decision yet knowing that her life would never be same again.

What should she tell him? She wanted to share her life with Zorro, but she had never before thought about how it would be.

She had always hoped for the alcalde to leave and Zorro being able to reveal himself to her and to the world. But there was no sign this would happen in the near future. Did she want to wait more years until she was too old to have children? She was longing for her own family and children for so long now. That was the reason why she had nearly married her old friend two years ago. Her heart belonged to Zorro and she couldn't marry somebody else but him.

One by one she was narrowing down her choices. If she wanted to have a life with Zorro and have it now, she had to share his double life, helping him to deceive everyone of his identity unless she wanted him to give up Zorro. But could she do that? Have him watch the alcalde flog innocent peasants standing idly by when both of them wanted to do something? When he was the one who could make a difference? But then he would no longer be the man who had captured her heart. She couldn't ask that from him.

She wanted to meet the man behind the mask. She had never imagined his life would be so troubled and lonely. Who was he?

Z Z Z

It was two nights later they met him again. She had closed the tavern for the night and when she went up to her room she found him waiting for her. He took her in his arms and kissed her.

"Querida I have missed you so much." Finally he drew apart and took her hold of her hand placing a kiss on it.

"Have you made up your mind?" he asked her in sincere voice.

"Zorro, I want to be with you. I want to be your wife and I don't want to wait any longer. I want to marry you in the open even if it means to deceive the world about Zorro for the rest of my life."

"You're sure you want to do this?"

"Yes. I love you so much and I can't imagine living without you."

Happily he wrapped her in his arms and kissed her again. "I wished you would agree, but I couldn't hope you really would."

Then he became sincere again.

"The next weeks will be difficult. We have to convince everybody that you are no longer in love with Zorro and love somebody else."

"What do you want me to do, Zorro? Will you tell me who you are?"

"No. I can't do this. I know you would never reveal my identity. But as long as we have not convinced everybody that we truly split up you mustn't know my name. The alcalde can't extract from you what you don't know and you can swear by god that you don't know my name."

"Victoria, I daren't hope you would agree, but I have thought a lot of how to proceed. It will be hard but it's our only chance to be together. Do you trust me?"

"With all my heart."

He was holding her hands while explained his plan to her.

"From now on we have to break up. It must be real. I can't meet you or show you my love any longer you like tonight because we can't be seen together any more. Victoria, it doesn't mean I don't love you any more, believe me. I want to get you out of the line of fire. By showing my love to you, you became the perfect bait to catch me. This can't go on. If the alcalde tries to get me through you, Zorro won't come to your rescue. It is the only way to convince the alcalde, I no longer care for you."

"Zorro, I never wanted you to be caught because of me. I'd rather die for you."

"I don't want you to die for me. I nearly lost you when you were shot by Bishop and I never want to go through that again. I will rather reveal myself to the alcalde than let you die for me. But I hope it never comes to that. Victoria, please never doubt that I love you. I will always be there for you in any way I can but not as Zorro."

"Does it mean I will see you? That I know you? Don't you think it's a little unfair that you can see me while you keep me in the dark about yourself? And when will you finally tell me who you are? What if I pick the wrong man, believing he is you?"

"Victoria, that really that worries me the most. What if you don't like the man I pretend to be?"

"Zorro, I love you with or without the mask. So it is true? I know you but you lie to me when we meet pretending you are somebody else?"

She saw how he was wincing under her questions. Had she hit the truth?

"Victoria, please. If I let you guess who I am, it will be the same as telling you. And we have been through that before. Will you trust me? I will tell you who I am as soon as it is safe for you to know."

"Promise?"

"I promise it, Victoria."

"Then I will trust you and do as you planned."

They kissed for a long time holding each other close. It would be the last time he was kissing her as Zorro. From now on they would pretend they were strangers and she hated it from the very first moment.

He saw the tears in her eyes and brushed them tenderly away with his fingers. "I hate to put you through this. I don't like it as much as you do. I will miss to hold you in my arms and kiss you. I will be there for you even if you don't know me."

Reluctantly he released her after a final kiss. "I have to go. I love you and don't forget I will always be there for you."