GOSH, THIS TOOK A LIFETIME, DIDN'T IT?
HAVE NO FEAR, WINTER BREAK IS HERE!
Note: I have decided to switch Fuku tai-cho to Lieutenant or Vice Captain, and Tai-cho to Captain from now on, or at least until I feel it's awkward or lacks the intensity. It's one thing to stick with the canon Japanese culture, setting, honorifics, etc, but Fuku-Taicho and Tai-cho can be directly translated, unlike –chan, -sama, -san, etc. So yeah. I may change it back though, so if it's infuriating, don't get your panties in a knot (:
Well folks, here it is! Chapter 8! I own no rights to Bleach or any of its respective characters, universe, and whatnot! Tite Kubo is the man you want!
Enjoy!
-X-
Chapter 8: Friendly Reminder
-X-
"Hisagi," I demanded, "what day is it today?"
"I believe it is the first day of September, Captain Sakurada."
"Ayumi," I corrected dryly, watching as Shuuhei winced. I swore, the last thing I needed with all this new responsibility was someone calling me 'Captain' every 5 seconds. The new drafts of the Seireitei News had been completed and required my approval. I cracked a chuckle at one of the articles: 'Matsumoto Rangiku of the Tenth Division shares her Top Ten Drinking Tips!'
"...School's starting soon," I muttered nonchalantly, handing the drafts back to Shuuhei with a nod. He passed me another pile. "Guess I'm not starting University!"
Shuuhei visibly tensed. "Captain, you are—"
"Ayumi."
He boldly continued. "You're planning to go back to the human world?"
"I hadn't put much thought into it: but don't get all worked up about missing me, because I don't plan on leaving for school any time soon." Finishing my education? It wasn't exactly something I prioritized. I had already finished my third year of High school, being 'older' than Ichigo and his classmates by a year. "Besides, I only entered school because..."
I let my words trail off, shaking my head slightly to rid myself of the intruding thoughts. I had a different purpose in life, now, I guess. It was all very confusing, and perhaps I hadn't thought it all out as much as I'd like. I was a bit too impulsive, and didn't think things out very clearly before doing them.
I cleared my throat. "Say, Hisagi, you were born as a soul, right? You've never been human, correct?"
"Never, Captain Sakurada." I glowered at him. He resisted from smirking, and ducked his head to mutter an apology for refusing to call me by my title of preference.
"Is there anyone here in Soul Society that... was born a human?"
"... I would assume there are, Captain," he answered dutifully. "...But if you ask for names, I'm a bit..."
I waved him off casually. "No need. I was just wondering if there were any people off the top of your head. Here, take these drafts."
"Yes, Captain." I handed him the documents, aware of his eyes on me. "Sakurada Captain, are you... by any chance..."
"Extremely irritated with how you keep calling me 'Sakurada Captain'? Very. I guess it's a bit too much to ask that you call me Ayumi, so just drop the Sakurada, alright? Captain alone is uncomfortable enough." He chuckled, nodding his head.
"I understand, Captain. What I wanted to ask was... Were you born—"
"Lieutenant Hisagi, I am a very busy person!" I fired, cheeks growing red with anxiety. "Before you ask the question you are about to ask, ask yourself: is it worth my time?"
Shuuhei faltered in his words, expression growing dark. After a moment of silence he bowed his head lower. I wasn't sure whether he had caught onto my fluster, or if he was doing it out of his own responsibility to be obedient to his superiors. "My apologies, Captain. It is indecent of me to ask of anything outside of our duties. It shall not happen again."
I softly dismissed him and waited until he was no longer in my office. With a heavy sigh, I craned my neck back and stretched my arms out.
"I believe it is the first day of September, Sakurada Captain."
The ceiling of my office entertained my vision while my mind drifted off. The day had approached quicker than any of the previous years. I was always aware of it creeping up to me, like dark storm clouds far off in the distance behind me. Perhaps I thought, in moments of desperation and optimism, that I might outrun them or that they may pass me without my noticing. Without a doubt, the unfortunate weather had finally crept up on me, and was about to shower me with a storm so nasty, I'd be drenched by the time I made it home.
Shuuhei must have thought I was asking the date for my academic needs: but let's just say finishing up University, finding a stable job and living a merry life with a husband wasn't exactly sounding so appealing to me. I was better off being a shinigami anyway.
Human needs just never suited me.
I stood from my chair and closed the office of my door. Soundlessly, and with as little spiritual energy as I could let linger, I ventured out to meet the ol' Gotei 13 Boss.
-X-
"She's what?" left the mouth of a particular white-haired Captain, mind believing that his ears had failed to hear correctly.
"Going back to the human world!" Rangiku repeated, with just as much fervor and misery as the first time. Toushirou blinked, leaning back in his chair.
"Why-"
"No one knows! Maybe she changed her mind about being a Captain! But she would've told us if that were the case, right? Surely she's just settling last minute matters in the human world, right?"
"How-"
"I didn't see her leave myself, but I heard it from Shuuhei! Of all people, he would know, and it's not like he has any reason to lie about it either! I swear this isn't some rumor, okay?"
"...Did-"
"All she told him was that she was leaving for the human world, and that she'd eventually be back! And Shuuhei didn't even have the guts to ask for detail! Seriously, sometimes that man is so loyal to his Captain it's just aggravating!"
"...Matsu-"
"I mean, heaven knows how long she'll be gone! Oh, oops, I guess I shouldn't say 'Heaven knows' since we're Soul Society after all, and that's kind of—"
"MATSUMOTO!"
"Yes, Captain?" Rangiku purred. Toushirou was looking thoroughly unamused.
"First, a Lieutenant should not cut off the Captain." Rangiku hung her head low in guilt. "Secondly, you should never assume what I am going to say, because you could very well be wrong. Which leads me to my third point, Matsumoto." He crossed his arms over his chest and glowered at her. "You misinterpreted my questions. I was going to ask you: Why are you telling me this, how is it any of my business, and did I ask you to notify me about everything that has to do with her?"
She was a picture of glum. "No, Captain."
"I already know the answer to the second question. It's not any of my business. So do me the favor of answering the first question, Matsumoto." Toushirou leaned forward in his seat, gaze intimidating and dark. "Why are you telling me this?"
Rangiku wasn't at all disheartened. Instead of answering his inquiry, she broke out into a mischievous grin.
"Well?" he pressed, growing impatient.
"Well~" she twittered. "You know how I just like to gossip. I'm sincerely sorry! It was entirely my fault!"
He wasn't fooled for a second. "I want the truth from you, Matsumoto."
"Only in exchange the truth from you, Captain Hit-su-ga-ya!"
"From-..." Toushirou stammered, momentarily thrown off by the statement, only to retaliate with full confidence. "I do not lie, Matsumoto."
She confessed, "Honestly, I was thinking that maybe you would care, Captain!"
He rolled his eyes. "Fair enough."
"So do you?"
"Do I what?"
In Rangiku's eyes was an intense burning of a certain determination and passion that Toushirou sincerely did not want to get caught up in. "Care. Do you care, Captain?"
"I answered that already," he grumbled. "It's none of my business."
"Just because it's none of your business, doesn't mean you can't care! Besides, it can totally be your business if you want it to be, Captain, if you get my drift. Do you know what I mean, Captain? Are you following me, Captain?"
By the baffled expression on his face, Rangiku could tell that he was very well not following.
"Okay. Okay, okay, okay: PLAN B!" The young Captain was forced to fly back in his chair when his lieutenant lurched forward. Their faces were inches away from each other. They were two mountain goats: one looking for a fight, and the other just wishing she would go away and leave him alone.
"What happened at the other day?" Toushirou frowned at her interrogation.
"You mean our fight?"
"After that! When you guys stared dreamily into each other's faces on the ground! And when you both walked off to the Fourth Division together, you came back in a particularly scattered mood!"
Toushirou blinked, eyes gliding up to the ceiling.
She laughed. "Gosh, Toushirou, you should see your face. It's not like you gave me cancer, or ran over my pet dog. It's not your fault, you know."
He denied her accusation. "I... forced you to sustain such injuries—"
"You were just giving me what I asked for," she said softly, wincing slightly when Retsu Unohana dabbed something onto her wounds. "More importantly, I left you with a nasty bruise. I'd say it's equivalent."
"Your hands are important to you as a Captain. You face is important to you as a girl. I hadn't been aiming for-"
"I agree with your for the hands thing, but my face isn't that important, don't worry. I have no one I want to impress, and even if I did... Well, let's just say that cut or no cut won't make any difference to him..."
"... That's true." She let out a faint sigh and averted her eyes. "What?"
"Nothing."
"You... you looked disappointed just now." At his words, she blushed furiously, as if embarrassed that he had notice. It was very unsettling, this thick wall of distance she was creating between them. He felt unwelcome.
"I did no such thing!"
Toushirou blinked, daring to look over to Retsu for some help. The woman smiled knowingly, eyes never leaving Ayumi's wounds as she spoke.
"A girl's face is very important, Captain Sakurada, do not contend. But why do you think differently, Captain Hitsugaya?"
Her inviting brown eyes glanced up to meet his, luring honesty and truth from him. He considered her question seriously, hoping that it might solve this sudden distance.
"I... Surely with Captain Unohana's expertise, no scar will be left over post healing."
Retsu's eyes narrowed, intimidating him to go on. He shifted in his seat, lacing his fingers together, and spoke.
"If people truly adores you, something as trivial as a cut on the face would not take away the attraction."
Again, her eyes grew sharper in challenge. Toushirou's lips stammered, but no noice came out. He left the academy with top grades and the position of Captain, but he couldn't, for the life of himself, figure out what he as supposed to say.
"... I... Your cut is... I'm sure it will..."
The sound of her laughter, supple and pleasant interrupted his words. "Are you struggling to find the appropriate words, Toushirou?"
His lips moved to form the words 'No', but his mind shouted 'Yes'. He closed his mouth and said nothing. She chuckled again, eyes turning into crescents.
When she opened them again, her gaze was soft and tender. "That's sweet of you. But you don't need to worry about me, like I said. And shame on you, Retsu-chan, for giving him those weird looks! Don't think I didn't notice!"
The two women went on to bicker carelessly. The young Captain simply chose to stay in his seat and calm his heart.
"...about it."
Toushirou's eyes glided back into focus, coming down from the corner to meet Rangiku's monotonous gaze.
"Pardon?"
"You're thinking about it. I can tell. You came back from the Fourth Divisional Office that day with your eyebrows knotted together and ten more creases in your forehead."
"It was nothing," he insisted, hoping to direct the conversation elsewhere. "Matsumoto, I really do not think that this is a good use of your time when you obviously have piles of—"
"Something happened," she concluded on her own, ignoring the stubborn words of her Captain. "Something happened, and it was probably not even that big of a deal."
"It wasn't-"
"And yet, it must have been important enough for you to lose your grasp on the situation, thus pertaining to your lack of efficiency when you made it back to your office and paused randomly in the middle of your work to lean back and stare up at your ceiling!"
Toushirou was incredulous. "How do you know that?"
"I don't. But the way you looked at me in shock when I mentioned it tells me that my crystal ball is correct."
"Matsumoto, I dislike your implications very much."
"I prefer 'conclusions drawn from elite investigation', Captain, but 'implications' works too, I guess."
"...Matsumoto, I order you to-"
"Captain," Rangiku attempted finally, "answer truthfully. Do you... care about Sakurada Ayumi?"
His lips moved to form the words 'No'. He closed his mouth and said nothing.
And then he told her to get out of his office.
-X-
September loved to shower the streets of Kurakara with rain. I drew the bouquet of flowers closer to my heart and opened the plain black umbrella that I had borrowed from Kisuke upon stopping by his shop. Conveniently calling up Hana to come over so that I could have my Gigai, I was aware of how light my fake body was feeling. Offhandedly, I wondered if Hana was eating well, just while I crossed a walk-sign road. The days were still relatively long, so six o'clock still preserving the light with a sun hidden by gloomy clouds. Cars bustled by me, illuminating my path with their headlights. My destination was just a few blocks away.
"Sakurada!" My heart did a tiny flip at his voice. I smiled as Ichigo appeared from behind me and nudged my head with his fist. His breathing was slightly labored, as he must have run to catch up to me. "Seriously? You phone Hana, and you don't even tell me that you're back?"
I smiled, feeling guilty. "Did Kisuke tell you? Or perhaps Hana?"
"I obviously knew that if you were ever going to come back, it was going to be today," He grunted. "I passed by Hana making her way to the shop, so I knew to run here as fast as I could."
"I'm not planning to stay for long," I said quietly, pulling him into the space under my umbrella. "So I didn't think it was necessary to inform anyone."
He looked at me indifferently. Generously, he took the bouquet out from my arms so I could carry the umbrella easier. I didn't bother dissuading him, because I knew he was going to feel awkward just walking with me while I was carrying it. "You're not planning to go to University? But you've already been accepted."
I shrugged. "Not like there's any point. It was just a pass-time, and it's not like I had big plans for my future."
"... That is so like you."
"What? To have no goal in life?" I spat, beginning to walk to leave him in the rain without my umbrella. He followed after me, the plastic making crinkling sounds as he moved.
"Not what I mean, idiot: to make an impulse decision like that. Don't you think you should think it out first, and then decide?"
"I have thought about it," I replied haughtily, pressing the crosswalk button. "I've been thinking about it since even before I met you, Ichigo. Just thinking and wondering about what I want to do with this life of mine."
The lights outlined a walking person, and we both stepped off the sidewalk at the same time. "And then I realized that I just wasn't destined for the same things as the rest of you. Sure, it's rather confusing and whatnot, but it just doesn't seem right. I'm never going to get married, Ichigo. I'm not going to have kids. I don't need a source of stable income, or to make a name for myself in your world."
Ichigo was silent for a while. We were approaching my destination. He must have known I would come here. He had followed me once when he was younger, and seen me walking to the cemetery. I had told him everything. He had listened with courteous ears, nodding and only saying things when necessary.
"It's your world too, Ayumi," he muttered quietly. We entered through the black, iron gates of the cemetery. Grey tombstones welcomed us with cold stares.
"It's not, Ichigo," I closed my eyes and hooked arms with him. He had followed me plenty of times along the dreary path, and knew the way himself. I no longer needed to tell him where the grave of my parents was.
"But perhaps it could have been."
When we approached the grave, neither of us had still spoken a word. What I loved about Ichigo was the fact that he didn't mind how close I pulled him sometimes, and he would never fight me off or let his mind wander into awkward territory. If I thought it was fine, he thought it was fine. If I chose to say nothing and let a deafening silence hang between us, he would respect it and remain voiceless as well.
He was a good kid, this one.
His eyes finally wandered over to me, not at all pressuring or antagonizing. I could tell he was just checking to see if I was okay; if my emotions were holding up fine. I glanced up at him expectantly, and nodded with a stroke of confidence. He lowered the flowers onto the tombstone, marked with the engraved names of my biological parents: Chieko Sakurada and Shigeru Sakurada.
Now, Ichigo was fidgeting. I lowered myself to eye-level with the grave, and ran a hand down his back to tell him to stay. Many times before, he had chosen to walk away and allow me my privacy. I never really thought it was necessary.
"Chieko Sakurada-san, Shigeru Sakurada-san..." I began, never having felt that I should call them 'mom' and 'dad'. "It's been another year."
I smiled wryly to myself. "Is it weird for the dead to continuously visit the dead like this? I personally think it's ironic... that you continued to visit my own grave when I was baby, despite never have really knowing me... and now here I am doing the same for the both of you."
"I'm not going to attend University. I know that... if I had..." I let my sentence trail off, clearing my throat. "You would've wanted me to finish my education. But then again, you would have wanted me alive. I suppose that the world had other plans for me, don't you think? I'm sure you guys will forgive me. You'd tell me to do what I love doing, wouldn't you? And to do it with the people I respect the most. You both lived your lives beautifully, and died with little to no regrets. The fact that your souls didn't linger on earth for a second is proof of that."
I cleared my throat again and laced my fingers together, pressing them against my forehead. "It's been another year. And yet not much has changed. Each year grows shorter, and yet the time I've existed grows longer. I know that I'm rather heartless, in the way that I keep talking about death and life like it's this simple matter that you just can't avoid. In a way it's true, don't you think? No one can really avoid it, even the undead," I glanced up at Ichigo. His eyes were closed, his breathing shallow. I looked back at the grey tombstones. "But... I would've liked to grow up with you. I would have preferred if I hadn't been born a stillborn..." I took a deep breath, "and for you to raise me as a human child, and to fall in what I think is love, have a boyfriend, get caught up in rebellious teenage ways and whatnot. Sneak out at night when you tell me not to, but eventually learn my lesson and grow up; and thank you for everything you'd done for me. I'd find a better boy – one that I truly love with all my heart - a better job, and live a life where I'd have no regrets, because I was blessed with gracious parents like you, who wept for years after I had died. I would've preferred that. I would've liked it very much."
"So here's to another year," I breathed with finality, "that I am able to visit you; that I have remembered you as you would have remembered me. Here's to another year where your deaths have not been forgotten..." I muttered my final words, stood back up, and kept my head lowered.
The sun drooped lower. Ichigo pulled me closer. We walked in silence.
-X-
"Back already, Captain?"
"I'm sorry I couldn't let you finish the year's worth of work in one day, Hisagi-san," I propped up a pile of documents on my desk and arranged them to get ready for filling out. "Really, you've been taking my documents again, haven't you?"
"My apologies, Captain. But only the ones I could relieve you of." I grinned at Shuuhei, his eyes flooding with relief and surprise. Infuriating sometimes, that I had to deal with all these good people to make me feel worse about myself.
"I'm glad to be back again," I said, stretching my fingers out. Shuuhei gave a bow and announced his departure. I blinked.
"Lieutenant?" He spun around to meet my gaze. I smirked. "You're not going to ask why I was gone?"
"It is not in my right, Captain," he replied, not at all phased. I pondered this considerably.
"Shuuhei, do you want to go out for a drink later?" Now I had caught him. He tried to mask his shock, only to settle for confusion.
"Perhaps... when our duties are over, Captain." I nodded. "And... As your lieutenant, going out for a 'drink' with my Captain is a bit..."
"Everyone does it, no need to be awkward about it!" I waved off, carefully not to sound like I was forcing him. "Besides, I haven't really had a chance to talk to you about anything other than duties and Soul Society. I believe as your Captain, and as my Lieutenant, we should know more about each other, don't you think?"
He looked thoughtful. "... Of course, Captain."
"Then as soon as I'm done this pile of paperwork, and as soon as you're done yours," I concluded. He left when dismissed.
When I had finally finished all my work, Shuuhei was at my door. I laughed as soon as he asked for permission to enter, because I could tell he had finished way faster than I had, but had waited for me courteously so I wouldn't feel inclined to rush.
As soon as he entered, I broke out into laughter again.
"Gosh, Hisagi-kun. You didn't need to get me a rose."
-X-
Nearly every ranked Shinigami in Soul Society had heard of the news. Rangiku hadn't even needed to barge into Toushirou's office to inform him. She was very well aware that he was very well aware.
Ayumi Sakurada and Hisagi Shuuhei were on a date.
Or, at least, that was the way people preferred to look at it. They were both dressed in their uniform, with zampaku-tos handy at their belt. The only indication that it could have possibly been a date was the sole fact that Ayumi had walked out of the office with a rose, which members had seen Shuuhei walking around with just prior. That, and they were alone, bantering humorously together, and apparently 'connecting on a very emotional level', came the rumors.
The young Captain wasn't entirely sure how to look at it. Admittedly, the young Captain wasn't even sure if he was allowed to be looking at it.
"Ayumi and Shuuhei," Rangiku muttered, "Hmm... They don't look quite bad together. Of course, I personally thinking Ayumi looks a bit better with... a certain someone else, don't you think, Captain?"
"Gossip was never something I prioritized or took a liking to, Matsumoto," he fired back brusquely. She squeaked, reading his genuine bad mood.
"My bad, Captain!" she folded her arms over her large bust. "But don't you worry a thing, Captain, because Hisagi-kun isn't the one that Ayumi-!..."
"Matsumoto, what did I just say?" Toushirou glanced up at his lieutenant, whose sentence had eerily cut off and trailed away. She closed her dropped jaw and gave him a dainty grin.
"You're absolutely right, Captain! Besides, it's not in our right at all to invade in other people's privacy!"
Toushirou had opened his mouth, ready to reprimand her for the hundredth time, only to let it hang momentarily in shock.
Had he just heard her right?
"I shall dismiss myself and get right to my duties, Captain! Have a goodnight!" Rangiku left the room, swinging her hips in a little dance. When she slid the screen doors closed, Toushirou went through their conversation briefly in his brain, attempting fruitlessly to see what he had missed.
Shrugging it off unnaturally quick for an overly paranoid individual such as himself, Toushirou continued with his work, only a few documents left.
He got up from his seat, straightened his uniform, and headed towards his door. His arm reached forward, but just as his fingers grazed the wooden handles...
The sound of her laughter wafted into his ears. He was a statue.
"Yeah, as if that would ever happen. I'm going to forget you said that altogether, all right?" Her tone was light with jest and humor.
"Whatever you say, Ayumi."
Ayumi.
No rank. No surname. No honorific.
"Ahh, it's like music to my ears. You finally got it down!" Toushirou's stomach churned. The words she spoke were quiet, but they were making their way down the hall so he could hear them loud and clear.
"To be honest, if I continued to call you Captain Sakurada after today and what you shared with me, it'd be wrong of me." He paused. "Did you hear how ironic that just sounded?"
She chuckled. They were basically right outside his door at this point, walking passed. "It's just between us. No one needs to know. I get that you still have to call me 'Captain' when we're not alone. But... uhh.. you know.."
"Yes I know, Captain."
They talked a bit more before Ayumi went into her office and Shuuhei descended down the hall. After some shuffling behind thing walls, chair creaks and groans, Ayumi finally left her office.
"... Hey Toushirou?" He snapped out of his trance, stepping backwards. She opened a crack to peak in, and upon seeing his proximity, opened the doors wide. "Why are you just standing there?"
"I..." he fumbled for the appropriate words, "was just... getting ready to leave, and then heard you..."
"Ahh," She grinned, not at all suspicious that he might have been referring to her conversation with Shuuhei instead of her greeting just seconds ago. "You don't usually stay this late. Busy day?"
"...Right," he said. "Busy day."
She bit her lip, nodding slowly. "Well... I was just checking to make sure you didn't over-work yourself."
"...Thank you... Captain Sakurada," he said. She hesitated, opening the doors wider.
"Do you want to walk with me?"
"...No," he said, "I still have a several things to finish up."
He didn't notice the flash of disappointment that she masked instantly. "Oh, I see... Sorry. I'll see you tomorrow, then. Goodnight, Tou-... Captain Hitsugaya."
"Goodnight, Captain Sakurada," he said.
She eased his doors shut. Her footsteps lightly padded against the wooden panels outside. Toushirou didn't move.
"Captain," Rangiku attempted finally, "answer truthfully. Do you... care about Sakurada Ayumi?"
He reminded himself that he didn't, and then left his office.
-X- End Chapter -X-
Whoopsyy. I think I may have compacted a few too many things in this chapter. I'm starting to get a bit impatient, and I'm sure you guys are too, so in exchange for waiting so long, YOU GET MUCHO PROGRESSION AND PLOT YEAH.
Okay, not really. There's more to come, yeesh.
So, so, SO sorry that this took so long! I'll be writing as much as I can during this break, so I will hopefully be able to whip up 2 if not 3 chapters for each story! And also get started on this 'Upcoming' stories that I've wanted to write for months now... but haven't had the time to )':
Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!
Reviewing would be awesome, but hey: we're not a dictatorship, and even if we were, I wouldn't be ruler unless fate wanted to seriously troll society.
Have a great Winter Break (: