The Assignment

The public bathroom was clammy, sticky and definitely not what you'd expect of a company that earns billions of dollars. I mean, what the hell does the Starbucks owner even do with that money? Probably uses it to refurnish his own bathroom.

I looked at the boy in front of me, he was pulling up his jeans and smirking at me as if he was the most desirable guy on the planet. But between the both of us? He was probably the worst I'd ever had. Not only had the location not sufficed but it was just that he was useless. No stamina at all.

"Hey Sonny, so you want to grab something to eat after this?" I was far too amused at his face. He was attempting to pull his lips into a weird formation at the attempt of looking sexy. It wasn't working.

"Look… umm… Tim? Tom?" Hah, I couldn't even remember his name.

"Jeremy," he said flatly. Name didn't ring a bell.

"Ah yea, that. Anyways I'm expecting somebody right now. I came here for business purposes to begin with. But don't get me wrong, just hand me your phone number and I'll give you a shout when I'm free," I tried to put my most convincing smile on.

Rule number one: never give your phone number. Rule number two: never say straight out that you won't call back. Rule number three: make your lie believable. It's true, I was supposed to meet my new client here in approximately five minutes.

His smile widened with hope, poor thing. I simply apologetically returned the smile and walked out of the door. Once I had restocked on my coffee I took the opportunity to grab a window seat for two. It was always better to have something to stare at outside incase of a boring sad story alert from the client. This happened a lot.

I liked my clients on time, and they knew it too. I had exactly 2 minutes left until she was expected to arrive so I began to look around the coffee shop for her. I knew what I was searching for, it was always the same. She would either be overweight, underweight, short or confused. Everyone around seemed to know what they were doing, she probably wasn't here yet, she did have two minutes.

That was until I saw her. She was probably about 4'11. Her hair was an ugly grey chestnut and her body proportions were way out. I waved and smiled beckoning for her to come over to my table. At first her eyes widened, as if she'd just seen a ghost. And honestly? I couldn't blame her. I was a legend. But then they narrowed into small slits and a massive smirk came across her face. She looked amused.

Slowly she made her way to my table but then said, "look lesbo, if you wanted my number next time have the guts to say it to my face" and then she stormed out of the shop.

What the hell just happened? Ok. That clearly wasn't her. She thought I was a lesbian?

It wasn't until then did I realize that I was being laughed at. Wait. Nobody laughs at me!

"Hey look…." I snapped my head up to see a tall blonde Barbie laughing at me. What did she want?

"Sorry" giggle "I just" giggle "she thought" giggle. Ok this wasn't funny.

"What'd you want?" I said growing impatient. Her eyes widened and she stopped giggling immediately. Instead, to my confusion, she stuck her hand out at me.

"Sonny Monroe? I'm Tawni Hart, I believe we spoke on the phone earlier? I need your help"

I swear my mouth must have hung open like a codfish. This tall, blonde, blue-eyed chick wanted my help? This was definitely not what I expected. I snapped my mouth shut and I returned to my professional self.

"Yes we did, please take a seat. I hope you have all the information I need."

"That I do, however I believe this 'assignment' is not anything like what you've done before. And for this case, I am willing to pay a higher price," her face became grave and apologetic and it was starting to scare me.

Although, she was going to pay more. I leaned forward in anticipation as to what my task was. I could face anything.

"Yes? And what exactly is this 'assignment'?" More like who is this assignment.

She still seemed uneasy, as if reluctant to tell me what was going on. For once, I was actually interested in what she had to say. Nodding for further encouragement I gestured for her to continue, I didn't have all day.

"Well, I know what's running through your head. You're wondering why does somebody as beautiful as me need help from somebody like you right?" Wow she's frank.

"I don't, but I've heard about your… skills? Arts of seduction? I've also heard you're quite the actress and it comes to my attention that it's those skills that I require in this mission."

Arts of seduction? Damn. I did good.

"Alright, I see where this is going. You want me to become his best friend and then dump him for you slowly to make it more painful?" Same old, same old. She probably caught him with another woman and wants to make the breakup even worse.

I mean what's worse than losing a best friend and a girlfriend? Clever.

"Actually no. The dumping is not the issue here-" but before I cut her off she raised her hand as if to allow her to carry on,

"That I can do myself. It's not him that wants another woman, it's me. I have another guy, and he's so much hotter, more casual, and appreciates me more. And trust me, this guy? He's way too emotional, clingy etc. I want you to help me get rid of him"

My mouth once again was hung open. She's the one cheating? Rock on girlfriend. This was going to be interesting. A small smile spread on my face when I realized what she wanted me to do.

"So you want me to seduce him? So that you can get an excuse to get rid of him?" Easy.

"Yes, I'm more of a casual relationship type of girl," she said plucking at her nails carelessly.

I liked this girl. She knew how to enjoy her life.

"Ah, but it's not as easy as you think," she warned, bringing me out of my thoughts. Huh? Is she underestimating me?

"Listen tuts I'm an exp-"

"I know, I know, it's just that he's not the type of guy to get turned on by a naked body. He's still a virgin. The amount of times I tried, trust me. He just, respects women far too much."

Ugh. I hated guys like that. The emotional ones. Oh well, more the challenge. We stood up and shook hands, the deal was done.

"Alright. Lets make this fun. What's his name?"

She smiled and handed me the envelope with all the details before walking out of the door. Smirking, I slowly opened it and took out a card with scrawny writing on it. It read:

Chad Dylan Cooper.