Disclaimer - the boys, the academy, the random Andorian, none of them are mine

AN - here's the next piece, not necessarily related to the previous one, I haven't really decided. Academy era, some cursing, implied sex off-stage.

STAR_TREK_WHO_WANTS_TO_GO_TO_ANOTHER_UNIVERSE_AND_JOIN_THE_ENTERPRISE_CREW?

Prompt 2 - toilet paper

"They did it again."

"You sure it was them?"

"Who else could pull this off?"

"True… But this just doesn't seem right…"

"Why not?"

"It just doesn't seem like their style. Plus, damaging the monument…"

"Okay, that part is odd. But still…"

Jim and Leonard strolled through the east courtyard, the pair of second-year cadets off to find breakfast. The blonde had his red jacket open and an easy grin on his face, tossing amused looks at his companion. "Why so grumpy, old man?"

"Shuddap, kid."

"Come on, Bones. It's a beautiful day. Sun's shining, birds singing, grass - "

"Keep it up and I'll find a nice STD to hypo you with. The kind that makes certain bits shrivel up and fall off."

"Aw, you're so mean to me, Bones…"

"Deserve it."

"Moi? I go and hook you up with beautiful women -"

"Crazy ones."

" - denying myself their company - "

"You had plenty."

" - so you can relax and have some fun - "

"Not my kind of fun."

" - and even gave you a contraconcep-"

"They had extra limbs! And parts women weren't supposed to have!"

"You rejected them 'cause they didn't fit human norms? Bones, don't turn into a xenophobe on me. That - "

"I'm not! The sex was great, happy now?"

"No, because you're still snarly."

"They thought I was signing up to be their pet or something."

"You mean petu?"

"Yeah, that."

Jim stops and stares at his doctor friend, and bursts out laughing. Leonard scowls, watches for several moments, and huffs and starts stalking away. Pulling himself together, Jim scrambles to catch up.

"Wait, wait. It's not what you think."

"Oh really?" Sarcasm dripped off the short phrase.

"It was a compliment, not a contract. Not a pet like a dog but petu, someone with great skills in the bedroom. They were kinda asking you to come back for another round later, become friends with benefits sort of thing. They were impressed."

Leo lifts a skeptical eyebrow.

"I'm serious, Bones." The smile falls off Jim's face and blue eyes meet brown in earnestness. "Remember, I lived on their planet for a few months while I was traveling around before joining Starfleet. That's why I hooked you up with 'em. I knew they could give you a good time yet not expect any strings to be attached or whatever. Just some mutual gratification so you could relax and have some fun."

"Oh." Looking appeased and thoughtful, Leonard started walking again, Jim keeping pace.

"If you want, I can talk to them and smooth over any misunderstanding. If you wanna see them again, I mean."

"Don't know." Leo muttered, "Think about it."

"Good." Jim slapped his friend on the back. "You need to get out more, have some fun, not bury yourself in so much work and whiskey."

"I like my work and whiskey." Leo grumbled, but a smile tugged at his lips. It was hard to deny a force of nature like Jim Kirk, especially when he was determined to help you better your own life. While joining Starfleet had been a last option spontaneous move on Leonard's part, he didn't regret it, not with the friendship and healing he received by the blond he had sat next to on that damn shuttle.

As they exited the courtyard, they noticed a crowd of people gathered around one of the many monuments scattered about the campus. Various heroes and tragedies were remembered with these statues and plaques from throughout the history of Starfleet. Curious, the pair nudged their way through the mass of beings, the murmurs falling silent as they saw who was trying to break through. Reaching the front, Leonard drew in a sharp breath of dismay, feeling his friend stiffen beside him. Managing to tear his startled eyes away, he glanced at Jim, who had gone pale with a mix of shock, grief, and a rising anger.

The monument had been of a starship and the waist up armless busts of two men with a plaque on the stone pedestal they were all mounted on. Some sort of paint had been used over most of the pedestal, words like "bastard" "murderer" and "suicidal weakling" scribbled among random designs. Toilet paper had been thrown over it, the flowering plants at the base ripped up and scattered around, and mocking drawings of mustaches and genitalia had been placed on the faces and chests of the busts. The worst and probably irreparable damage was that the perpetrator had found a way to break off the stone model of the ship and used something sharp to dig gouges into the face of the younger of the two men. A viewer could still read the message on the plaque: "In memory of all those lost in the destruction of the USS Kelvin, and the captains who fought to the death for their crew, Captain Richard Robau and Acting Captain George Kirk."

"They broke the first rule." Jim muttered, then slowly moved toward the damaged monument.

"First rule?" An Andorian asked in the silence.

"There's a few rules to pull a prank. First is never do a prank that can't be undone. We filled the pool with jello once, but left instructions about a safe chemical that would dissolve the stuff in an hour, leaving no permanent damage behind. Others include don't do pranks on random people at random times, since you never know when they're having a bad day and the prank just makes it worse. If you do a prank on a person, make sure they have a good sense of humor, or you're getting them back for a prank pulled on you." Finished with the explanation, Leonard strode across the small lawn to stand next to his best friend.

Jim bent and hefted into his arms the small but detailed model of the USS Kelvin starship that had been left on the grass. Turning it about, he looked at the cleanly sawed-off area where it had connected to the statue, then at the lines carved into his father's face. "I'm gonna kill them." He growled. "I'm gonna find the assholes who did this and make them wish they'd never been born."

"Jim - "

"Just because I never got to meet the man doesn't mean I didn't respect him. He was my dad, for fuck's sake. I'm not gonna stand by while someone defiles his memory and his sacrifice like this. They're gonna learn you don't mess with a Kirk, living or dead."

"I'm not arguing that. I just - "

"And if the Admiralty wants to throw a fit over me putting some shitheads in the hospital for doing something like this, then that's their problem. I don't - "

"Jim!" Leonard grabbed his friend's shoulders and turned the younger man to face him. Blue eyes blazed with rage and sorrow, daring him to fight him on this decision. "I'm not against you on this. I'll probably hold the bastards while you punch them or something. But, for right now, how about you put down the ship and let's go see Pike. He'll help us find whoever did this."

Jim stared a moment, then nodded. Released by Leonard, he turned and carefully placed the stone ship at the base of the monument. Another glance at his father's ravaged face, then he turned and stalked away, Leonard quickly catching up and matching his fast pace. The crowd opened a path for them, the aura about the crowd one of sympathy and shared righteous anger.

"Told you it wasn't them."

"Yeah, the statue thing was too much."

"Hope whoever did this gets expelled or something."

"Before Kirk finds them."

"You see how pissed off he was. Kinda scary."

"I'd be too if someone did something like this to my dead parent's memory."

"Wonder if they'll be able to repair it."

"Probably have to order a new one."

"That sucks."

AND_THAT'S_THE_END_FOLKS

sorry for the ending, I could figure out a good way to wrap it all up.

reviews are awesome. criticism is good too.