A/N: No, I haven't abandoned this story. No, I'm not dead. I'm not even lazy! I've just been in the midst of moving, and while we wait for our new house to be officially ours, my dad and I are staying at my BFF's house. The main problem with this is that my BFF's parents have waaaayyyy stricter computer rules than my dad does. I only get an hour a day of computer time, and I can't do anything that I wouldn't want a little kid to see, so writing this is of course off-limits. But they never said that I can't update at school…

So, I'll conclude this rambling author's note here, and give you the new chapter.

~ Cookie VanDeKamp ~

Theodore's pictures of the fight spread all over the castle quickly. They could be found everywhere. You name it, there was a picture there. Dean Thomas found a picture of Pansy body-slamming Ebony taped to a tree. Ernie Macmillan found one of Ebony slapping her back in the boy's restroom. Padma Patil found one of Astoria Greengrass attempting to break up the fight, only to be kicked in the face.

"What is it with boys and catfights?" Hermione asked when she found one of Ebony pinning Pansy to the wall.

Ron shrugged. "We like them."

"Why?"

Before Ron could answer, Luna tapped him on the shoulder. The three of them were in the library, speaking in hushed whispers so they wouldn't annoy Madame Pince.

"May I hide out here with you?" she asked airily. Because that was how Luna said everything.

"Sure," said Hermione. "What're you hiding from?"

"Ebony," she explained, sitting down. "She tripped in the hallway. I happened to be nearby, so she thought I'd done it. She chased me, so I ducked in here."

"Good idea. I'm pretty sure Enoby would burst into flames if she set foot in a library."

"QUIET BACK THERE!" Madame Pince screamed.

OoOoO

Willow and Ebony were walking to the Slytherin Dungeons when Willow found another picture. This one showed Evory and Pansy wrestling on the floor. By that point in the fight, Pansy's skirt had ripped, and Ebony's shirt was gone. All the boys in the background looked very happy.

"Wht duh fuc is thi?" Willow asked, shoving the photo in Ebony's face.

"Uh, tit's fro whn E beet do sit owt ou dat prep, Pasty."

"I bet u tr he a nu n."

"H, I totel did."

"Dat's mi bitch."

Enoby smiled and straightened her dress. The gown was exactly five centimeters above her mid-thigh, and as black as her soul. Her belt was as white as her skin, which was as pale as snow. Her nails were painted red, which was the same color of her fishnet tights. Her shoes were high-heels, exactly 7 inches and half a centimeter high. A soft, content sight escaped Evony's crimson lips as she flipped her dark hair.

"Wana nu a sexret?" she asked Willow.

"Hellz ya!" her friend replied.

"Im gunna fux Drag tonite!"

"Sweat!"

"Mak suire no on disturbs us."

"Nu probm."

"Fangz. Wanna go nnoy a cuuple prez?"

"Sr."

OoOoO

Around eleven that night, Draco Malfoy found himself in an odd situation.

He was:

Running like hell.

Missing his pants.

Barely avoiding being raped by Ebony, and

Trying to wipe the bloodstains off his tie. (Ebony was, as it turns out, kinda kinky.)

He ducked into a closet as his not-girlfriend perused him.

"Drako!" she shouted holding up a knife. "Don't yo wnt mi 2 du th hing wit ma tung gain?"

What thing with her tongue? Draco thought. He decided that she must've done it when she'd had him knocked out. Stupid pills…

"Cum n! U no u luv mee!"

No. No I don't.

Ebony had begun to cry tears of crimson most pure. She sighed and leaned against a wall.

Draco muttered a camouflage spell under his breath, and turned invisible. Slowly, he pushed the closet door open. Moving as quietly as he could, Draco slipped past Ebony, who was now curled up in a ball sobbing. Deciding that it wouldn't be safe for him to go back to the Common Room, he opted to spend the night in the Room of Requirement.

Pacing back and forth in the usual place, Draco thought, Someplace to sleep. Someplace where Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way can't find me. Someplace where I can sleep peacefully until morning.

Slowly, the wall began to open, eventually leaving a hole big enough for Draco to crawl through. Inside was a bedroom almost exactly like the one he had at home.

What a night, he thought as he drifted into an uneasy sleep.