Chapter 4: A Hive of Scum and Villainy

It was just a few minutes later when Fred and George came strolling out of the hearth into the Hog's Head pub. Harry followed, stumbling and sneezing. Obi-Wan Hagrid came last.

Harry looked at him. "Flue powder?"

The giant nodded. "Flue powder, me lad. Now watch yourself in here. This place boasts some of the best star pilots in the galaxy, but it's also a hive of scum and villainy. Now me, Fred and George is gonna scout around. You just be inconspicuous."

Harry nodded nervously. He went to the crowded bar, sat down next to a goblin and ordered a butter beer.

"A wha?" replied the bartender. "Hey kid, this ain't the Three Broomsticks."

A mountain troll sitting on the other side of the goblin rumbled something. The goblin translated, "He don't like you."

"Sorry," said Harry.

The goblin added, "I don't like you either. I've got the death sentence against me on twelve planets. You best watch yourself."

"I'll be careful."

"You'll be dead."

A massive hand fell upon the shoulder of the goblin. Hagrid was looking down. "This young fellow ain't worth the trouble. Here, let me buy you something."

The goblin hissed and jerked out a weapon.

Hagrid picked him up and threw him through a window.

The mountain troll roared and leapt to his feet.

Hagrid punched him in the crotch, and when the troll double over, Hagrid grabbed him by the nostrils, dragged him across the room, used a free hand to open the door, tossed the mountain troll outside, and then slammed the door shut.

Harry heard a rattle and turned to find a bottle of butter beer on the bar beside him.

The bartender forced a grin onto his ugly face. "Just happened to find one for you. Drink it in good health."

Hagrid lumbered back over. "You'll be doin' me a favor if you don't tell anyone about that. Strictly speakin', I ain't supposed to commit mayhem." He scratched his enormous, bushy black beard and then led Harry to a booth in the back of Hog's Head. "I found someone who's a first mate on a ship that might suit our needs."

Harry stopped dead when he saw the small furry rodent sniffing about on the table. "Hagrid, that's a rat."

The giant planted his seat in the booth and nodded. "His name is Scabbers."

"Hagrid, that's a rat."

۞

Darth Snape reported to Grand Muff Dolores Jane Umbridge aboard the Imperial battle station, Death Star.

"I've forced her to drink gallons of veritas potion," Snape said. "I still can't get Princess Hermione to reveal the location of the rebel's secret base."

"Ahem, ahem," replied Umbridge. She was an immensely fat and ugly woman, wearing a dark green cloak and, in her hair, a black bow. The combination made her look like a frog with a fly sitting on her head. "Perhaps you've been too gentle with her, Lord Snape. Girl's her age need a firm hand." She turned to her helmsman. "I'm hereby issuing Educational Decree No. 2,343?"

"Forty-four," he corrected her.

"Ah yes, Educational Decree No. 2,344. The Death Star shall forthwith change course towards the planet of Hogwarts." She smiled sweetly and then strolled off through the Death Star humming a merry little tune.

۞

A red-headed boy with large ears slipped into the booth. "Scabbers tells me you need someone to take you to Hogwarts."

"But you're just a kid!" protested Harry.

Hagrid put a steading hand on his arm. "You're the pilot?"

The kid nodded. "Ron Weasley."

Hagrid's brain tried to think, but it soon gave up. "Any relation to Fred and George Weasley?"

"You know them?"

"They're here with us."

Ron looked around. "If this involves my brothers, I'll have to charge you twice my normal price. So it's, um, 10,000 galleons."

"10,000 galleons?" gasped Harry. "We can almost buy our own spaceship with that."

"But who's going to pilot her? You?"

Harry glared at him. "You bet. I've already got my learner's permit."

Hagrid said, "We can pay you 2,000 now and another 15,000 when we get to Hogwarts."

Ron took off his shoes and socks so he could add up the numbers. "Seventeen thousand? You've got yourself a pilot. What the cargo?"

"Just passengers. Me, Harry here, your two brothers, and no questions."

"Let's meet in fifteen minutes in Docking Bay THX 1138."

Hagrid and Harry left to find Fred and George.

"Wow Scabbers, seventeen thousand galleons. This can really save me hide. Go get things ready."

The rat scampered off, and Ron prepared to follow. From out of nowhere, a blond hair kid slipped into the booth with him.

"Hello, Weasley," he hissed.

"Oh hi, Draco. Good news. I have the money."

"Good. Hand it over."

"I don't have it on me. But I just got a fat charter. I'll be able to pay off everything I owe."

"I want the money now."

"I don't have the money now."

Draco shook his head slowly. "Weasley, you shouldn't bet on Quidditch games if you can't afford to lose." He pulled out his wand. "CRUXIATUS!"

Draco Malfoy looked down the length of his wand to see that it was pointing directly at a mirror that Ron was holding. "Ow," he said. "Ow, ow, ow! OW! Oh, that is really painful! OW, OW, OW!" Draco shoved his wand back into his clothing and jumped up. "OWIE, OWIE, OWIE! Oh, it really hurts now!" He began running around. "OW! OW! OW!" He ran for the door. "YOW! OUCH! OH! YIEEEEE!" he wailed and ran out the exit.

۞

Everyone was waiting for Ron when he arrived at the landing bay. Fred and George were seething.

"You stole Dad's flying car!"

"I can't believe you stole his car!"

"I didn't steal this car from Dad," Ron explained. "Creature stole if from Dad; I stole it from Creature."

"Look at this big dent in the front! It looks like you drove it through a bloody pourstone wall!"

"Shut up and get in. We're about ready to take off."

"Ron, you idiot! You can't take a car into outer space."

"Can too, if we all roll up the windows really tight."

Off in the distance, a squad of Imperial troops hurried into the docking bay. "There they are!" echoed the officer's electronic voice. "Blast 'em!" The troops began firing their blasters.

Ron cried, "Everybody, get in the car NOW!"

Scabbers jumped up on the front dashboard. Hagrid crushed himself into the passenger's seat. Ron got behind the wheel. In the back, Fred and George made Harry sit between them with his feet on the hump.

"Make sure your windows are all the way up!" cried Ron. "Here we go!"

The flying car rolled out of the docking bay and climbed into the sky. Higher and higher it went, leaving the soldiers far behind.

BAMM! The flying car was rocked by a near miss.

Fred looked over his shoulder. "There's a big Imperial cruiser coming up behind us . . . very fast!"

BOOM!

George added, "Its lasercannon shots are getting closer! Get us out of here!"

Ron said, "In a moment."

"Now!" urged Fred. "Now! Now! Now!"

Ron mumbled, "Port key, port key, port key. Ah! Here it is! Hold on, everyone!"

It felt as if something had grabbed hold of Harry right behind his belly button and yanked him ahead at a blinding speed.